Self Forgiveness (Day 5): The 'I am too Tired' Mind Demon - Day 583

Art By: Andrew Gable

Find his Blog here: https://anartistsjourneytolife.wordpress.com

Recently I have been looking at the act of apathy and laziness, what causes me to become in a way lethargic within my mind and body, and so my living? What I have realized it comes down to thoughts, there are specific thoughts that will be triggered and when triggered the decision to go into them and become 'lazy' and not push myself to do what is needed to be done will become my living application. So I see it simplistically, though deeper into this there is a deep desire to be comforted and cared for by the things in my life and within this, I am not in fact living an equality balance and thus the consequence of this is a point of not being able to live my highest potential. 

Self Forgiveness on the thoughts of apathy/laziness and the consequences that follow:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to follow the thought that i am too tired to do this or that, i will get to it later, i can do it tomorrow' and thus i see, realize, and understand with these thoughts that i will follow and live into, i become lazy and comatose in a way where i do not apply myself in my reality hardly at all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become lazy and apathetic in moments where i secretly have thoughts that i don't want to deal with or face this person or that problem and so go into the easy way of living my life where i don't push my boundaries and say stuck in the same perpetual cycle of entertaining myself as distraction in things that have no matter to what is relevant as this world and being part of a solution for what is best for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use apathy and laziness as a way to distract myself to not face myself in my head/being and living and thus postpone my change process in what is best and thus postpone the potential change effect i can have on this world at large for the better.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to follow thoughts of i am tired to stop me from moving within the physical in my potential in the moments i am here and thus lose the opportunity for transcendence to be the better version i realize and have proven i can be, but stop and let it go for an easy high that is fleeting and false and thus will inevitably lead to my own self destruction and thus the destruction of the physical.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become so selfish and self absorbed within my own self pity that i have not a care in the world for what is real, what is suffering in this reality, and what effect i am having on the world as my footprint and thus my influence for better or worse and thus lose the potential creation process of life here in equality and oneness that only i can create and give to the world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live in self pity due to beliefs of self harm and lack instead of realizing that the potential for change is always here and that the idea of lack is an illusion as i am always and able to create myself here in each breath in the process of self creation as i move thus accumulating value of self worth as i become worthy as my living word as flesh in physical reality in honor and giving of myself to all for what is best thus equally giving this to myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge others who are lazy and apathetic in there life, not realizing and seeing that this was just a distraction point because i didn't want to face myself and thus walk the change process that is here to move when the opportunity is here to do so and push with everything i got for life as self in what is best.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give half ass effort and distract myself with entertainment and say i don't have time for life work as process and thus miss me here in my own responsibility to move myself and do what is best.

I commit myself to stop judging others and move myself when i see i am going into judging as this is a sign of self-depreciation and self abuse as i am showing in how i am living.

I commit myself to when the opportunity opens up to create self i seize it and live and stop all thoughts in there tracks with breath as i transcend and live my words of movement, doing, and self-creation.

I commit myself to push my limits each day until i am equal and one to live here in the physical as breath and life is best for all.

I commit myself to live the words discipline and perseverance as i push myself as breath and move through all resistances until transcendence and i am a creator of life in what is best in all i do and live as me.

Support and educate yourself on the links shared to live your best self:

http://www.eqafe.com - Check out the new unlimited subscription plan at Eqafe, it's fantastic!
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
www.destonians.com
http://www.desteni.org
http://www.earthhaven.org

Eqafe Hangout: The Consequences of Deceiving Self Honesty - Day 547

Many thanks to Gian Robberts for sharing his perspectives and

experiences on this topic. 

Gian's Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/gian.robberts

Interview discussed on Eqafe: 

https://eqafe.com/p/consequences-of-d...

Gian and I will be discussing this fascinating interview on a being walking his realizations in his life review through portal at eqafe on what he faced when he found himself deceiving his own self honesty within his life in relation to having a child. We will share our perspectives about the information that came through, and how it is supporting us in our processes through the mind into self creation. This to stand as a steward of the earth and support the creation of a world that is best for all life. 

Interview Synopsis:

"How can a few words spoken in one moment change the course of an entire life?

Why is self-honesty absolutely critical when making long term life choices?

Why can the price be quite high when we make choices that are not in fact self-honest?

A being shares how, in one moment their entire life changed, and how they had to re-assess who they were and how their life will unfold."

Links to Check Out for More Support:

A Chat with Sunette Spies: The Interdimensional Portal from Eqafe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGp9D...

Eqafe Site

http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -

http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support: 

http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:

http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:

https://www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/DIPLit

Earth Haven - Sustainable Living Environments -

Built on the Principles of What is best for all Life

https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4404004

When No Means No - Day 492

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When I currently say no there is a lack of full trust within this because I have fallen in the past and not stuck with my no. There is a point of learning and correcting one’s mistakes within the process of coming to a final 'no, I stop', so this realization of the point of falling and getting back up again is actually part of process. The self trust redefinition I have made of living in a self trust that I will change myself in self honesty to do what is best for all until it is done, this I trust in my self.  This can come into play here realizing that I will make the effort to change myself when I see I am not acting in a way that is best for all and in self honesty, I will not give up on myself as the change.

Though here in this blog, I am speaking to the 'no' beyond the falling and getting back up process, it’s a 'No' where it states enough is enough, no I am not going to accept this anymore.

Here I see the focus on the tangible problems in the world like animals dying, children dying, war as a supportive focus point to imprint the push that will be necessary to move into that stand of No, I stop, I can do this, I stop here now.

So the two points I am focusing on to practice this 'No- I stop stand' is the self judgment of my face – where whenever I go into a form of judging myself or my face in any way whatsoever, I say inside myself or out loud “NO! I am not allowing this compromise any longer’ I stop!” I move into the play/fun expression to move me through the energy, become physical. I can use whistling to move in the physical to support to walk through this point or some other fun point that comes up.

The second point is when I see my mood changes with my partner – I go ‘no, I stop now, I am not going to compromise our relationship’ and within that find the correction/solution and live it immediately. This so I start moving beyond the current playout patterns that are occurring and get access to more opportunities of change to live my words and do what is best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself back doors in the saying of no where I will not actually live the correction of no but fall into it because it is easy and comfortable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into no based on the desire of seeing myself as less then rather then seeing myself as capable to move myself in the physical step by step in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear of actually moving into my potential because then I will be forced to live there by principle to stand within what is best and life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea of what my potential will look like and so fear that which I have in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my highest potential to be something that is too out there and hard to reach that I have believed it to be impossible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of apathy due to the belief that living my highest potetniaal is too hard when in reality I see, realize, and understand it is in each here moment that this can be lived, it’s not a end goal but it is here in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make no another point of the ‘no but I its ok this time because I will eventually stop this someday’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall deliberately into the compromise of myself in my actions by not living to my highest potential in each moment but rather thoughts and energy overwhelm me and fall into them as I am addicted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a addictive mentality within the the word ‘no’ where I have placed a belief that it is not actually going to be done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone my life potential based on giving into the addictive thoughts of my mind when I say no to a pattern that is compromising and continue it.

I commit myself to stop the postponing of my change into my potential in each moment by living my words and standing within the integrity of doing what I say I will.

I commit myself to live the word ‘no’ as a final statement of what I will allow and what I will not and so say ‘no’ in these instance when I am ready to completely stop a point and stand as the solution for myself and then for others.

I commit myself to stop the fear of self change through taking it moment to moment and moving in breath awareness to get into the rhythm of living here and doing what is best in each breath.

I commit to practice this point of absolute no with the two examples I have shared and continue with other patterns once I have lived this in the physical.

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Others Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Looking at the Word Precision – Day 475

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Please Reference my last blog for more context to this blog:

Precision of Self – Day 474

My goal for this word precision is to live it in a way that it supports with being more specific and exact within my every day activities, I know that I will not perfect this word in my living in a short period of time, though I do see that with consistency and movement within my self change this word has a huge potential for accelerating my living into the sphere of my utmost potential. So with that being said, I will have a look at where I stand within this word at the moment. Well first I will look at the definition from the dictionary of what this word means:

Precision: noun - the quality, condition, or fact of being exact and accurate

“Precision is similar to perfection in that both words suggest that something could not possibly be better. However, perfection describes something that's flawless, such as a beautiful sunset. Precision, on the other hand, is more about accuracy, like computing the exact second that the perfect sunset will occur.”

So I like the distinction that is made here within the words precision and perfection as they are very similar, but are not as they are not lived within the same contexts. Precision is more a form of movement within a mathematical equation, where perfection just is, meaning there is no movement within it, it is what it is wholly. So that is a cool understanding based on the belief that I had and I am sure many had of precision being something that is within perfection, but in actuality it is more relating to movement and mathematics. My partner sees life in many ways in terms of mathematics, and I am more and more finding it very fascinating as I have never looked at life in this way, but the more I look, the more I see all life is in fact mathematical. Perfection being the final result, where as precision is the movement to get to this final result of perfection. 

Precision within the way I have lived it has been something that I have always been fascinated by and enjoyed within different areas of study or activity that I have endeavored in, but there was an inherent belief within me that I did not have the ability to be precise, I was too clumsy, too impatient, too lazy to get to a point where I can express precision. Though, I have in moments expressed this specifically within my work or if I am in a physical activity such as writing up a proposal or cleaning something that is dirty, I will ensure I am precise within my movements as well as precise within the way in which I clean where I will calculate the size of the area, ensure I hit all areas calculated, and clean in a precision within the intensity as well as the veracity of my movements to ensure each layer is cleaned as precisely as the last.

This creates a point of perfection in a way where the cleanliness of the floor is satisfied for a amount of time to my liking, which also can create a precision within the efficiency of my movements within my cleaning schedule for instance and ensure my body is being used in it's most efficient capacity. Also, it creates a point of understanding that perfection is changing, meaning that when one reaches a perfection, through life there will always be a movement that will ensure that one keeps standing as this perfection as the floor will not stay perfect forever, but will have to be constantly moved into a perfection again and again as I consistently apply the actions of precision within cleaning it. So there is many factors to consider within this word of precision and there can surely be many benefits.

There is also a feeling of accomplishment within giving it my all within what I do and this is lived when I can execute a form of precision within what I do which will create the living of perfection, this not only benefiting myself but others as well. I find this action of being precise within what I do is done within a form of self determination and self satisfaction where I am not doing it for anyone else, but my own standards of living and existing for myself. So I have displayed precision within my living in ways that I am satisfied with, though my mind tends to tell me that I have not done it at all in a way that is satisfactory, and of course I realize there is always room for improvement.

I will do some self forgiveness and self correction to clear the word in my next blog and look at moving into the scenario I describe in my earlier blog of living precision as well as the support words to move through this possession point of self compromise I have been existing in for quite some time. This to ensure I change to stand in all I do with precision in the course of action I decide to walk in each moment to moment I am here. This course of living precise is for the end goal which is living what is best for all life and living in self honesty, which will create real living perfection as heaven brought to earth.

I will continue in my next blog. Thanks for reading.

Interviews to support on Real Time Application:
Neediness: Living Words & Fulfilment - Atlanteans - Part 313
Why is it so Hard to Change? - Life Review
The Consciousness of the Turtle - Part 1

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Precision of Self – Day 474

I will open up the next series of blog with looking at the word precision. This word I resist within myself within just looking at it here based on my desire to want to have an err of leeway to slack off and not put my full attention into whatever it is that I must act with precision in. So obviously within the principle of what you resist will persist, I am now in my process here to face and realign my living to in fact walk precision within myself and what I live in all moments that it calls for. I am going to focus this word precision with some support words such as constant, unwavering, persistence, steadfast, breath, here, life, best for all that I will use as a support structure to walk this specific point I want to walk within this act of precision and so then the support words to live these words in all areas of my life. So all these words will have to be looked at and redefined, which I will do in blogs to come.

The point I will be walking and practicing the integration of these words in my living is with a form of energetic reaction I go into and have noticed still has power over me in moments. It’s specifically within a group setting, meaning it’s with people, where we are talking face to face, and I am being looked at directly in the eyes. Then eventually there will be a movement or a belief that’ll come up due to some or one of the other people’s making some sort of gesture of uncomfortability, be it not holding eye contact or rubbing there face or eyes. These specific motions from the other cause triggers inside of me where in I will go into an emotional experience of diminishment coming from my solar plexus area moving into my chest area, and feeling in a way like it is clenching into my limbs which creates a tightness and constriction within my entire physical body.

So I feel it physically when I become possessed by this experience as this depressive state of tension and constriction, but this is not were it starts, this reaction starts with a little movement inside my stomach area of a sinking feeling and then the thoughts start of like a ‘damn, I am being judged again, I am the one who is being seen as awkward’ and then this will stew subconsciously while I am trying to hold face and discuss what is being talked about. Then I will depending on the stimulation from the external environment, go into a panic type experience or stop it there and not allow it. This moment of decision is usually based on if I go into the energy reaction or not, and the most highly tense time for reaction is if I go into a bathroom or mirror and look at myself. Then you may say, ‘well don’t look in the mirror’, but this is something that is addictive in nature as well as having to be transcended anyway as I can not keep away from mirrors my whole life.

And if I do fall into that addiction pattern of looking in the mirror and going into the thoughts of ‘your so ugly’, ‘you are never going to be normal and part of the group’ ‘you are inferior to others with this ugly face’ ‘you are not as cool as these people’ ‘they see you as awkward’ ‘you are not going to be able to stand with these people’, ‘you are weird and strange’ ‘they are going to judge you as weird’ ‘look how you talked, see you aren’t good enough’ ‘look how you look in the mirror, see you are so not attractive to look at’ ‘see how they rubbed their eyes, you are so disgusting looking’. Those are an example of the type of thoughts that go through my head, I will next time I see this pattern come up, use precision as a point to get the exact thought words that come up and what exactly the energy is doing to my body in these moments. But for now, this is the basics of it and I will work with this for the next blogs to come.

So with the word precision, I would like to look at and redefine it in my next blog to use it as a support structure for me to walk through this energy reaction of self compromise firstly, and then specify and use it for my living application in all I do. And so do this same process for the support words I mentioned earlier in this blog as well.

Thanks for reading.

Interviews to support on Real Time Application:
Neediness: Living Words & Fulfilment - Atlanteans - Part 313
Why is it so Hard to Change? - Life Review
The Consciousness of the Turtle - Part 1

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Starting to Investigate My Relationship with People – Day 420

Visit the Artist's blog: Andrew Gable

My relationship with people over the years has been shaky at best, I have always had a feeling of separation with others, I always felt that I had to get into a certain state within myself to be around people, like it took energy and effort to be with others, it was not easy and only enjoyable once I found my place. I always was looking for my place, I was always in fear of where to find it, how to get there, if I was going to be accepted, and would it last. So there was a lot of factors I was creating to even approach people and figure out how to continue to stay with them and how in fact was I able to do that. Because there was no manual on how to be friends with or exist with other humans, it was all kind of just there when I came of age and realized that being with other humans was not a walk in the park, it was going to take dedication and effort to make it work.

So the issue I was having over the years of not wanting to be with others was when I was bullied in school, and found out that not everyone likes me, not everyone is friendly, and this world isn’t so nice and great as I believed it was as a child being rather innocent to the harshness that is existent here. I started to develop fears about my body image and what I had and didn’t have compared to other kids. I started to realize that money was important and that buying the things to keep up with the other people I knew was needed to be able to continue to play in the social games of making it with groups. So once I started being bullied, I suppressed myself quite a lot, I would not do or say anything to instigate those that were calling me names as the emotional feelings within this were extreme. I can see and will be opening up the construct of being a bully and being bullied as a play out of the way in which we have designed our world and designed our relationships with each other based on the belief that this is what it takes to survive and this is how human nature is and this is how it’s always been. How existing within starting points such as these is in a way giving up on oneself and life to live in a way that is more abusive and existing within self interest alone that has been consequential as we see with the world and our relationships within it from children up into the world system., nothing really changes, just the dynamics and contexts do, we are still bullying each other and creating conflict with no real effort and dedication to find solutions.

So I was starting to develop my mind through what I valued within others based on things such as beauty, wealth, and personality and I myself started to based who I was on comparing and competing with others through these ideas of value I had created. This then created more and more separation with people in my world, being this way where I am basing who I am on very superficial ideas was not very fulfilling, I started to more and more dislike being around people and having to keep up these appearances and ideas of myself that in reality did not match. Over time my paranoia increased on how others thought, judged, and/or perceived me, I started to more and more alienate myself from meeting new people and pushing myself more and more in the belief that all people are fuck ups and I can not trust anyone.

I realized though overtime and through the desteni process that I engaged in some years ago that I have created the state in which I am existing within in this moment, I thought the thoughts, I created the beliefs, I judge myself and others, I abused and created competition with others, I am responsible for the way I have designed and created myself in this moment. I can not point fingers at any other person, place, or thing because in the end this is disempowering myself to ever create the change that I am capable of to become a human being that is trustworthy and self directed. Not living off of needs or wants, but through principles that support life and so will always support me by implementing and solidifying them through my living over time proven through time in the physical. Each one has to find the will and forgive themselves for who we have become and what we have done in the past, and again embrace each other and support each other as we have done for ourselves. Humbleness is key for such an endeavor of self purification and supporting life in this way.

So for the next blogs to come I want to investigate and understand more of who I am in communication and relationship with others, and how I can live the words humbleness and friendliness in a way that supports myself and others to become the best we can be.

More to come in my next blogs, thanks for reading.

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

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• The Desteni Group and the Journey to Integrity: DAY 226
• Self-Respect for The Physical Body: DAY 269
• Day 434: Deleting the 'Mean' from the 'Meaning of Consequence'
• Day 436: Suppressing In Fear of Expressing

Day 313 - What the Hell am I doing?

So I am here on the desteni farm, and just being here for a few days, I am already seeing much support and thus much change within myself. One of the main changes I am focusing on is stopping the backchat about judging myself. I have now gone through quite a process of writing to get to this point of being ready to physically walk this change, of course, it just takes a decision and sticking to this decision in every moment of breath, but for a long while, I realized that I used my backchat to stay within my accepted and allowed limitation of trying to be seen as someone who is more then others because i judged myself as inferior. This in a subtle way, like desiring people to think I am cool, wanting to be around me, and thus obviously within myself I am creating these same expectations of others immediately causing a polarity separation with me and my environment meaning there is a conflict of interest as the interest always should be what is best for all, but with this split, I am only looking what will be best for me causing the mind fuck I have been in for now way too long.

While being here for the past few days and sitting in some interviews with the portal, which will be coming out soon, I finally asked myself, ‘really, what the hell am I doing?’ I finally am seeing the change necessary to stop this point of self sabotage, it’s been a journey because it takes education to understand what you are doing and what you are creating within you each moment you think or backchat, I found this series, The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination  extremely supportive in stopping self judgment specifically. Another supportive thing was Bernard said to me, “you are the only one creating what is going on in your head, no one else but you”, and this is so true, I am creating all sorts of assumptions and thoughts and memory imprints of moments in time, where I am using to judge myself and degrade myself as well as make myself more and better then others because of the constant cycle play out of seeing myself inferior and using others to make myself feel superior. So it’s the cycle of competition and trying to win, but in the meantime it’s having quite an effect on my self stability and how I see myself in reality because the focus is squewed, it’s never been about me and who I am within myself, how I am standing, but about what others think, how others see me or treat me, and thus only from these assumptions within myself I live my life thus creating much self compromise.

And so the backchat is always geared towards preying on the ‘weak’ around me, who I can find that is not as strong as others and then go ok, here I am ‘better’ then this one, so I can get a bit of energy to last me for a while until a new occurrence happens where I have judged myself and go back into negative energy feelings as bad, sad, you know those emotions, and then I will search for that positive energy again. So it’s like seriously, what the fuck am I doing, what kind of person am I creating within myself with these types of thought patterns, this type of nasty back chatting of abuse and scheming I am participating in, a nasty person who is completely self compromised because all this cause within me is paranoia and conflict within myself and thus in my world making me lost. I am not able really to discern and direct myself in a way that is functional and effective as I could have with my mind clear, my mind here, my mind focused on what is real and practical, but allow my mind to go haywire and all over the place with these constant comparisons and mind assumption story line patterns repeating themselves over and over again searching for positive energy in the way od self compromise and abuse to others as well as myself.

So I have started to really force breath awareness and stopping every pattern thought that comes through, all patterns of judgment or comparison in my mind seeing them as the realization that they are purely assumption and thus not something to follow, and breath through all reactions that come up of emotion or feeling, and continue what I am doing in the physical. If I do react, I note it and continue to walk by letting it go, stop focusing on it, and allow it to dissipate through time to end it’s connection to me as a memory. It is not something that has to define me I have realized, yes, I may have reacted and made a mistake or said something dumb or something like that, but I don’t have to terrorize myself, but can simply let it go and continue practicing breath, living from the physical, and moving myself in the principles I realize are true and best for all which is best for me, life is one in all walks that are here and we are equal within this fact. I simply have to continue on this process of accepting myself, letting go of the mind components of self compromise, and stick to breath, focusing on what is real as the physical and my living within it to become the most effective I can be through clearing and focusing my mind on what is real, aligning it with the physical reality equal and one to life which is in the end equal and one to me if I dare.

This the true path to freedom and total self awareness and becoming the utmost I can be because I am in the reality where this is done, here in the physical, in my mind it’s there and it’ can get very messy with the judgments, desires, backchat, emotions, feelings, so I stick to breath, stick to here as what I am doing physically, and walk the process to change self in this manner with self forgiveness and self correction in living. Also, a cool point has been developing since i started walking this and it's a self appreciation because I am really seeing me from a point of equality with my environment and thus in my body, this for the first time really within a point of self decision probably in my whole life, and it's like a weight has lifted off my back essentially because I don't have the pressure of trying to be someone or do something to show I am this or that, but simply be me and live and enjoy what is here, it's really that simple.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki
Equal Money System Website
Equal Life Foundation


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Day 294- Self Judgment – Backchat Breakdown – Thought #3 - Lack in Self Confidence

 

Please reference these blogs, for further context to this quote below:
Day 291 – Self Judgment – The Voice of Unreason
Day 292- Self Judgment – Back Chat Breakdown – Thought #1
Day 293 – Self Judgment – Backchat Breakdown – Thought 2

“I am too far gone for this to work out and be able to be stable with another, I am not able to stand stable, I am too fucked up to be able to have a guy be into me and have it work out.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only continue to see and recognize the past, the past as me as an abuser to myself, and not stand and stop this point forevermore as the solution I see I am walking for myself and is possible as I continue on this journey to life, self freedom in self honesty and self responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by what the thoughts in my head are saying to me when in no way are they supporting me to become a human being of stability and self sufficiency - where life is lived in equality, and thus I realize this is something not to take for reality because life for real is equal and one as unconditional support, and thus I must change my starting point in thisrelationship with myself as my thoughts to align equal and one to life which is in the physical and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a disappointment within myself as being let down based on believing the mind reality of my backchat as a self defeatism outlook and thus live within my world in depression because keeping telling myself and living out that I am not as good as another, when in reality I am making this entire thing up and sabotaging myself because of fear of changing myself within this point and seeing who I am without fear by walking as self expression within this point of being with another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in self sabotage and continue to follow the backchat of self defeatism based on fearing rejection and having to face the reality of being rejected by another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge those who are rejected by others as lower in status then those who are accepted, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see, think, and interact with others in this regard as less then if they are rejected and more acceptable if they are accepted by the group.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change my expression to fit into a group, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within self compromise to be accepted and not have to face this point of rejection, but thus live the point of devolution of self as freedom as this is in no way freedom of self as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach the word failure and the experience of a lower standing then others within this point of being rejected by others, when really this is a point that is not in alignment and thus is not able to be walked at this time when I am rejected within my reality, it’s not to take it personal, but just realize it’s a point to let it be for a moment until another opportunity comes to support if I am able to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship with myself based on the negative experiences in my past, I realize I must let these go to move on and become here able to see me for real in my physical environment as my physical body, and direct myself in my expression as I walk and expand myself within what it means to be one and equal with life as me as I face my world in self awarenessand self responsibility to life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be a perfect ideal for others to worship and praise and give me nice feelings not realizing this will create the polarity play out of the negative of myself based on the intensity of my participation within the thought, feeling, and thus living action of these play outs, and so equal and one creates the same in my world but just within opposite energies extremes, both creating the same outflow to these consequences, separation with life and separation with myself.

When and as I go into a point of desiring to resist another due to the backchat thought I am thinking of self sabotage, I stop and breath, realizing that this will create a point of self imprisonment of my own making listening to illusion as my mind in the backchat program of keeping me suppressed, and all the while suppressing my expression in the physical where instead I can be using my gifts, my communication, me living to expand and grow who I am with my world and the world at large for the outcome of what is best for all as I build this relationship within myself as myself equal and one.

I commit myself to let go of all thoughts of backchat of self sabotage through breathing and not participating in not a one of these thoughts through forgiving them, letting them go, and continue to walk as the physical, embracing me within my physical body and moving through the points I am resisting building my integrityand awareness as self trust.

I commit myself to find the solutions within the points that I fear through understanding the fear, and moving through that fear by facing it, and finding the path that will transcend it be it through my own push of self action or standing stable in a point of desire to move in energy, I remain focused on what the matter is here and that is life in what is best for all.

I commit to stop all self interest for me to be happy and gain a point of status, and so I commit to continue to walk all my breaths here in the pursuit of life in oneness and equality through and as myself as I transcend the control of the mind as the directive principle of myself to my own self direction in common sense here within and as the physical.

I commit myself to let go of the emotion of failure and disappointment within myself and stand as the realization of how far I have come, what I have changed within me, and what I can give to others to support with this change in all areas I touch and expand into as I have done this already for myself.

I give as I would like to receive, which is the way to life in freedom for all.


For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
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Desteni Wiki

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