So i was in the pew and the people around me were crying, i haven't ever been in such a position were i was so close to the person who died. So i did experience saddness though when it came up within me i experienced myself being able to stop it from effecting me. I realized i can stop this, i dont have to be in this experience of the emotional toll that comes kn when i fully go into the saddness experience, experiencing the drop in comfortability, the spiral motion of crying,the pressure on the physicsl, i didnt have to play out the whole playout.
Though, i was sad in the sense of understanding the loss, but i could direct myself to realize that the whole saddness energy is not necessary for me to mourn his death. I felt much more stable and grounded like i was in control, and this i found very enpowering as i could support others more clearly and directly then if i myself was in the energy of saddness and only prepccupied with how sad it is and how horrible i feel about it. There is a strength in stability and its not to disrespect any part of life, but to realize we are more powerful then meets the eye. We have so much potential as beings that live, lets make the new year one of growth for self and all in doing what is best.
The next point ill speak in my next blog. Thanks.