Friday, January 31, 2014

Survival Programming - Sadness and Walking the Correction - Day 396




Please see blogs below for more context to this series:
Survival Instinct Programming - Day 391
Survival Programming Correction - Part 1 - Day 392
Survival Programming Unpacked - Part 3 - Day 393
Survival Instinct Programming - Fear of the Unknown - Part 4 - Day 394
Survival Programming - Why Such the Long Face? – Part 5 – Day 395

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the experience of sadness for a prolonged period of time where I wallow in it and become consumed by it where I am not able to see reality clearly and desire some experience of positivity to get me out of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get caught up in the experience of sadness and miss reality and so miss the opportunity that is here to change myself or the situation to become something that will beneficial or help myself and others to move through what caused the sadness and so see what can be learned/gifted from it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within sadness due to the desire to have a positive feeling where I can move out of this feeling of sadness and so feel better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to create an experience within me through following the mind into what ifs, creating fear through the accepted mind dimensions I am creating of scenarios that are not real and/or fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create future projections where I scare myself instead of remaining here as breath and moving within reality where I have the response-ability to direct my world in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fear and so create the opposite of joy as experiences in the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within my mind instead of here where I am able to direct situation and see situation in a benefit for all rather then creating scenarios in the mind with no direction from myself but just a follow of energies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to energies rather then being here and taking responsibility for myself and my world to be that of real substance rather then exist in polarities of energy made through the mind dimensions of illusion.

When and as I see myself existing within the mind in future projections and following energy experiences, I stop and breath, and realize that this will just accumulate and accentuate the energies that I am already existing within carrying me farther away from reality and so where I am not in any ability to direct myself and my world effectively.

I commit myself to move within a point of stopping energy and moving to the physical in breath.

I commit to breath until I am stable and not in reaction to what is happing.

I commit to consider all the points I am able to in a moment and direct in the best way I am able to using common sense.

I commit to stop thinking and projecting into the future and so I commit to bring myself here with my breath awareness, and move into real actions that will support all.


Eqafe interview support I recommend:
Sadness: Understanding Sadness - Atlanteans - Part 102
Sadness: When Relationships End - Atlanteans - Part 103
Sadness: Sounding Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans 104
Sadness: Seeing the Gift - Atlanteans - Part 105

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bernard poolman, desteni, easy path, emotions, fake face, fear, happy, I am so emotional, mental state, mind, missing myself, sadness, self awareness, self importance, what am i doing in this life, who am i, 

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Survival Programming - Why Such the Long Face? – Part 5 – Day 395



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Please see blogs below for more context to this series:
Survival Instinct Programming - Day 391
Survival Programming Correction - Part 1 - Day 392
Survival Programming Unpacked - Part 3 - Day 393
Survival Instinct Programming - Fear of the Unknown - Part 4 - Day 394

Here I am looking at the experience of sadness and why we as human beings experience this within ourselves. Obviously, the common points of sadness is based on mind thoughts or memories or preconceived judgments or desires placed on to physical reality. When we exist in such a way of separating ourselves from the actual reality of what is here and instead only exist within the mind reality the mind generates and creates through energy feelings the sadness, which is not a real experience and does not indicate what in the physical is actually happening as self is not in the physical. Self is in one's mind, the mind is not physical cause it can't be touched or physically worked with, it's to be worked with in self awareness as it can easily direct self into self compromise. So the point is that the experience of sadness in a moment or even the experience of happiness is not a real experience from anything outside of self, but is being created and lived within self through accepting the mind components that are keeping them going that compromises one's own self direction and way of life.

For the experience of sadness, I am looking at first the thought dimensions of my mind, what are the thoughts that created such an experience, and the main thought is about someone dying close to me, this thought I have allowed to become a part of my day to day thinking where it will come up and I’ll follow it. This accepting the thought and so energy of sadness that is attached with it as I experience it when I have this thought, when we follow thoughts they will grow to more thoughts and projections of the that one single thought and when the single thought is not self directed within reality based living and awareness eventually you will create a possession that can take you to extremes of emotional experiences.

So this is how we create ourselves to be emotional either in the positive or the negative, and from this one must realize that the source of this energy is being created and used for it's own benefit by our mind being taken from our physical substance/bodies. So it’s a relationship I have to balance and equalize, where I no more use the mind to determine and direct me into the dimensions of illusions as thoughts moving to future projections as possession points, but here in the physical in breath, directing myself from what is actually happening and how to best direct the physical situation into solutions that will be best for all.

Self forgiveness and self correction writing to follow, thanks for reading.

Eqafe interview support I recommend:
Sadness: Understanding Sadness - Atlanteans - Part 102
Sadness: When Relationships End - Atlanteans - Part 103
Sadness: Sounding Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans 104
Sadness: Seeing the Gift - Atlanteans - Part 105

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site
Living Income Guaranteed Proposal - Site

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Survival Instinct Programming - Fear of the Unknown - Part 4 - Day 394




Please see blogs below for more context to this series:
Survival Instinct Programming - Day 391
Survival Programming Correction - Part 1 - Day 392
Survival Programming Unpacked - Part 3 - Day 393

One of the hardest points that I have faced in my process is the fear of losing control of something/my environment, this out of control feeling within me when something doesn’t go as according to my way of having things always be, creates a lot of these desires for the survival instinct to come through. Usually within this survival instinct it is geared towards, survival no matter what it takes, do what ever I can do to get to a point of control again and security so I can feel normal again.

Within this though, it’s not that the reality of my life is secure or that I am existing within a normal state of being (that to be redefined at later point), but just to get to a state where my mind thinks I am ok and secure for even a moment, a day, a week, a month, or a year, it can be fleeting and it is, but if it quills the anxiety and fear in a moment, I will continue to exist in this cycle of security/insecurity through allowing fear to direct and define me. This is not real security though as it’s not based on actually creating myself in a way where I can be secure, as this is showing when things change in my life, I fear what may happen, so I am being defined by outer influences. When in reality I can direct myself and the solution in a way that is best for myself and so best for all. I do not have to continue to be subject and defined by the way life events occur, but can stand stable and stay in control of who I am regardless of what is occurring on the outer, creating a point of stability within myself through a point of harnessing self control and self discipline to direct myself in a way that is eventually or immediately able to create solutions that will support myself and so my world/reality.

Will walk some self forgiveness on this feeling of being out of control and not directing myself within what is here no matter what.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my fear of not having a stable reality where I am seeing and experiences people/places/things in a familiar way, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear things that are unknown and unfamiliar in my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a point of going to the extreme and look only within my self interest in a survival instinct I go into due to allowing this fear of the unknown possess me into believing that I will spin out of control in my life and be not secure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having my life go out of control and so go to extremes within my mind in accepting the belief that I will fall and get lost if I don’t have control of everything that goes on in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the emotions of fear and sadness to come over me when I realize that I have points in my world that I can not control and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will become at a loss if I don’t have all that is here in my control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing something in my world or reality as I feel that this will be gone forever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I can and have the ability to give what it is that I fear losing to myself and I realize that I am in fact equal with what is here so it’s a point of realizing that I am whole as I am part of all that is here, I can not be lost.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear to drive me into self interest and not consider my actions within what I am doing causing harm and abuse to others due to my reactions of emotions rather then letting them go and direct myself in stability.

When and as I see I am going into a point of fear and believing I will lose something due to unknown factors, I stop and breath, and realize this will compromise my effectiveness in reality to direct myself and move myself into a point of support and solutions for others and so myself.

I commit to breath and see where it is that I am fearing to live and move.

I commit to let go of the fear and give what it is to myself that I fear losing.

I commit to stop directing myself in emotions of reactions of fear and move within a breath movement of awareness.

I commit to live from the reality that is here and walk what I am able to walk in each breath as I realize this is all I can do in each moment.

I commit to support others as I would myself and stop fear from directing me into a survival instinct of self interest.


Eqafe interview support I recommend:
Stress: The History, Origin and Nature - Atlanteans - Part 97

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Survival Programming Unpacked - Part 3 - Day 393


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy others downfalls when I am going to gain something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the thoughts of me gaining something and going into an excitement energy while I realize and understand that someone else is going to lose something that they are in need of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the polarity of excitement and lose and within this created a relationship towards others and myself in my world when these scenarios occur making me defined by what happens rather then being the directive principle.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by polarities in my world and create compromise in my life and others lives instead of seeing the facts of something, and walking the necessary actions that will ensure what is best for all is reached.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make situations that occur in my life a personal point within my self definition instead of seeing that I am within an equal consideration of this point and to find the solutions that will create a stable point within whatever has to be done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss reality and my direct responsibility within it to move myself in consideration of others in a stable way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my desires for more direct me to cause harm to others through my actions and words through egocentric personalities instead of seeing all as equals and direct within reality actions.

When and as I see I am going into a point of compromising my reality and others in a egocentric way through personalities of desire, I stop and breath and realize that I will be harming others and only be existing in self interest missing reality and what I can do to move the point into stability.

I commit to take a breath and move after I have assessed who I am within a point of responsibility to the environment/people I am involved with.

I commit myself to not move if I am in reaction.

I commit to direct myself through writing and self forgiveness to change my behavior to be best for all.

I commit to stop the desires and move into a point of considering all involved before I take action.
I commit to take responsibility for myself and change myself to ensure I walk as an equal with my environment.


I commit myself to move to breath and stop personifying what is happening and so I commit to move within factual points of reality and considering all as how I would like to be consider before I move.


Eqafe interview support I recommend:
Stress: The History, Origin and Nature - Atlanteans - Part 97

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Survival Programming Correction - Part 1 - Day 392




Survival programming is due to the fear of not living, not getting enough, fear of dying, and so within this I am creating a polarity of keeping this alive through desiring eternal life, desiring to always have opportunities, desiring to always have enough and be taken care of. Within this obviously not existing within the points in the physical where I will walk this into creation, but through existing in fear of surviving and desiring to have eternal life, I am perpetuating this relationship to exist in myself and so in this world, and it is not being lived in fact as I am separating myself from actually living it in fact.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to live forever and have eternal life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to always have things taken care of without effort and want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only consider my survival and living within my own experience of myself not taking into consideration everyone else who has to live as well.

I foggivev myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the hope for my life to be eternal, happy, and extensive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have all the benefits of a living being with eternal life and only desire this for my own personal gain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a fear of death and believing that I  will suffer in this life.

I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying and pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief about my existence that I will suffer and be in pain through a constant fear of this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear experiencing life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a point of survival in my reality and see others as a competition I have to conquer to survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that survival is the only way of life.


More to follow thanks.


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Friday, January 24, 2014

Survival Instinct Programming - Day 391



Looking at this relationship between becoming excited at another person’s demise based on the fact that within it I will benefit in some way or another. I don’t see myself within this relationship necessarily aiming to have anything ill come to another or have any form of abuse come to them, but within the point of gaining something from another’s down fall I have a relationship of guilt within it as in a way I enjoy this as I will gain something. This desire and excitement for another persons lose is a form of survival i have accepted and allowed within me, and use in times of belief that I need what the other has to survive. And in ways I see I have pushed and aided in this point of another's downfall based on my desires to succeed, win, and gain more. 

I do see that I have been in reaction towards this person for a while and this is the point where I am limiting myself as I am not bringing the point back to myself and changing my relationship to be that of support. So the point of desiring to benefit has been the reason for my compromising who I am in relation to this person causing me to feel guilty within their presence, as I see within that there is a point of competition and need to conquer. And within this desire and need to conquer the 'evil' comes out where I only exist for myself and have no real regard about what is the best way to go about supporting or directing this situation. Desire has been overriding my common sense assessment in equality to ensure what is best is lived. 


I am sure that this relationship is due to a need within me that I will not be able to get enough and so I feel that others who I judge as not as good as me, survival and self interest. So I am existing within this starting point based on valuing myself as more then others, and within this situation it is based on worth of physical skill and know how. It’s very much based on survival and existing within the dog eat dog world, and accepting survival programming to override life and living how I would want to be treated. I will continue writing on this tomorrow. Thanks.

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Thursday, January 23, 2014

Am I a Fraud and can I correct this? - Day 390




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use fraudulent behavior towards others in my reality to get something for my own interests and so not use self honesty to ensure what is created within the interaction is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my time here on this earth to engage in behavior that is of dishonesty and dishonor to myself and others with whom I engage in based on a desire within me to gain something that I believe I do not have or can not get.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the lose of something in my world that I desire and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be enslaved to desires within this world when in reality I am not in need of any desirous things as everything that is needed is practically known and accessible when looked at and engaged within a point that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to engage in behavior where through a point of fraudulent words I try and attempt to extract myself from responsibility of situations in reality that are occurring and I fear taking a stand within due to not knowing how it’ll effect me and what the outcome will be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking responsibility for myself in my reality based on a fear of the unknown when within principles I realize that whatever it is that will happen, if I stand and live within what is best for all and indeed live in the best way I am able to, I can stand into eternity with all who stand as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the immediate satisfaction of my mind within alternate realities of existing that are in fact illusions that cause harm as it’s a separation from me as reality, and so I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that walking the road of effective living in the physical in what is best for all and in self honesty to change myself in the best for all way is a way that is worth all that is walked as the result is the result that will align with life as a complete point within oneness and equality and so our purpose as life is fulfilled once this is indeed complete.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ensure the quick fix rather then slowing myself down, ensuring I expand my self awareness through self will and self discipline, and walk the solutions that will ensure what is best is fulfilled no matter what it seems in the mind, in the physical it is indeed possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the mind instead of focusing on reality and what I am able to do in each moment, and accumulate myself into a force that is here and can stand always in what is best for all in self honesty to ensure a better world for all and fix self here from separation to equality as one.

When and as I see I am going into a fraudulent behavior/action/word/thought, I stop and breath, and I realize that this will then create a separation of myself with my reality because I am not in fact equal and one with what is real, but in the mind as ego causing abuse and existing in selfishness.

I commit myself to let go of the idea that I have to become fake to be liked, accepted, or get what I want.

I commit myself to stand through the desires to be accepted and engage my ego.

And so I commit to remain standing within a point of principle in what is best and walking what is necessary to ensure I am aligned with reality and able to move to solutions that will benefit all.

I commit to check and cross reference my behavior if in question with others to ensure I am able to stand and correct if a compromise of myself integrity is happening.

I commit myself to breath and slow myself down to ensure I expand my self awareness and walk in the shoes of others.

I commit myself to walk in the shoes of others and come to self honest solutions that will support what is best for all.


I commit myself to walk the process of self trust and practice and test this point of self trust as I continue on my journey to life, and write where I see it will be effective to correct and expand in my understanding of myself as self trust.


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