Starting again - Day 1

 

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am special for being a destonian.

I frogive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am special because of the intelligence i believe i have and thus can use this idea and belief of myself to in my mind make myself feel more then, better then others, and thus believe that i can get something out of it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be better then others to fill a void in myself where i lack confidence and care and love for myself because i judge myself and so judge others to fit into the roles of my mind creations that suit me in the moment.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find the time to stand and sit and contemplate about who is what and create ideas and thinking patterns of what is here and who is what, rather then take my day to day life step by step and breathe by breathe.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to be special because i feel i lack any real value and worth to make people like me and stay around.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am not worthy of anything because of what i have judged of myself and what i have done to a degree where i shamed life as myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to stay in self pity and victimization for my past and what i particpated in, and thus go into laziness and robotic dullness where i don't do much and just want to waste away.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be a portal of good, and thus fear being the worst, bad, or evil that i have participated and accepted to exist. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame others and not see that i am not standing myself and walking the talk that it takes to become self honest and live a new way that is supportive of myself and others equal and one.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear of failing and thus fear that i am going to be lost for good in the sea of my mistakes, and never recover.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming lost.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming abandoned by life/myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abandon and let others be lost, not supporting them when i see they can be.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear the worst of myself and not make my life into the gift i was given.

I forgive myself that i am too far gone to ever have forgiveness of life and be in a state of peace and naturalness.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire peace, and so not give it and live it as myself to others as i'd like to receive. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not give as i'd like to receive but hold it as a transaction where i want a return.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be conditional with others and so not give as i'd like to receive.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not stand when my mind kicks in and wants to rage.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to forget self forgiveness and common sense when i see that i am in the throws of emotions and feelings.

I commit myself to let go of the past and stand fresh here to give to myself the gift of living in a better way, a way that'll support me and so others.

I commit myself to stop the rage within me, and breathe with self forgiveness until i am again clear.

I commit myself to stop myself when i go into a idea of what is best, and let it go until i can ensure that what is best for all is in fact the outcome through proper study and investing time into the point to see what dimensions and points exist so i am better understanding what is happening before acting.

I commit myself to take it slow and walk the points more in writing before i live it.

I commit myself to give of myself what i would like to give to others so i can in fact be able to gift to others what is best as this is what i'd like for myself.

 I commit to not speak or write in emotion, but go to sf and breathe until i am clear, walking patience with myself as the point so i infact cause no harm.

#skilife

Physical Life/Self - What I have Learned through Desteni and Eqafe - Day 597

I listened recently to the ants interviews on eqafe.com, the ants come through the portal at desteni and discuss about how they are operating currently in a survival type enviroment, they themselves are not seeking survival means, though they had a lot to say about human consciousness effect on the enviroment. This I will continue in my next blogs.

Consciousness of the Ant - 

Part 1 on Eqafe.com

First though, I'd like to discuss a bit about the difference between the physical/natural world and the human mind/consciousness, this to the best of my ability based on what I have studied of the subject with desteni for the last 11 plus years and within my own personal journey within many sources the past 17 years, so it's been a lot of my life. I am no expert, but I have been studying diligently, and the main point I have found that cause a disruption between the natural physical world and the human being is the fact that there is a lack of connection from the human mind/consciousness we are particpating in and this physical existence as life source. As we look around us, there is a distinctive difference between the natural world and human being's system world, I would say it's more undeniably clear then not and I am seeing many would agree with me on this, humans world is distinct amongst all life here. The buildings made of concrete, the structures as boxes we live in, the boxes we move around in, and the boxes we locate in throughout the day and into our personal living spaces (if we are lucky and have money).

Otherwise, you are in the wild/natural world, this world though is beautiful and magnificent in it's creational wonders and mysteries as gifts of the ever pulse of life itself, our wild/natural world on this planet has become brutal. Survival is the functioning mechanism at the moment of our natural world as human's in our quest for consumption have degraded a lot of the natural order and laws of this physical world. This due to the fact that human's haven't realized and thus forgot who we are, part of the natural world, one and equal, and thus do in fact have the ability to live this as ourselves and amongst the natural world in peace and co-habitation simply by living the natural order and law of all of existence - treat all life as how you would like to be treated, give before you receive and thus no want as you will be fulfilled, and all life is one and equal and thus all life is only ever in consideration in what is best for all.

Human beings have lost that connection with ourselves as our life force/source by particpating in the mind consciousness system - thinking and reacting, and thus fell from grace and lost our connection with ourselves as life itself. The key is taking self responsibility for self in this moment, and finding the will within self to understand who one is as the mind/consciousness and your current behavior that is causing harm to yourself and so others, and changing it within self first. Proving that who you are to all life as all life is aware, that you will no longer cause harm and will in fact be part of the solution to the best of your ability, and live that.

So as a human being, the mind as our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are a source point for the mind system machine inside us all and sucking dry the physical life source and thus our physical body until one day we die cause the body could no longer handle the stress and damage the mind was having on it. The body dies in doing it's utmost to live, the being within as the self is in shame and regret and will face oneself to the fullest degree in the afterlife. As Bernard spoke many times, this is our last life and there is consequence. The mind is a programmed system from within the  interdimenionsal existence of ourselves which is our inner worlds, and is being powered by our very act of thinking in our heads, this is not to become afraid, but to understand the circumstances we find ourselves in because there is always solutions to this, the solution has been lived and is being taught through the #desteni networks, #earthhaven, and eqafe.com platforms.

This has been discussed throughout the eqafe and desteni material, through the portal and the participants who have expressed on topics of all parts of life and the mind consciousness system, thousands of videos, writings, and sharings on these points have been expressed over the last 15 years since the portal opened on youtube. There is a process of support and networks all ready to support you on this journey of self discovery and adventure, to eventually embrace the mind as self and use it as it was intended, a tool for self creation. Through the tools of self forgiveness and living the change that is best for all life, we can in fact start to restore the magnificence of self as a life being here and thus once again restore order on our beautiful home and mother earth and make peace with all the co-inhabitants of this earth. Peace is a different state of living and being, it takes many steps based on the state of where each human being is at and the extent of mind programming one has to walk through, though it is possible, as the impossible is simply the initial phase of the self creation process of i am possible.

So do not fear, but start the first step, this is where i started and each being does on there journey to self as life, there are resources and support teams out there to help, so connect with us/me on facebook and lets help/support each other in loving and caring way. It took many years for myself to get into a relatively stable self, I am able to use the tools of desteni as self forgiveness to stabilize myself and get to a baseline grounding point, and it is worth every tear, sweat, and suffering that came about in this journey. We are capable, we are self responsible, we can make this world a place where our children in all walks of life are free. It's time. Enjoy self always and keep a balance of mental rest/relaxation through giving this to your physical self/body. Also, connecting to animals and nature is also great support for self balance, I highly suggest. Take care and big hug.

Check out the weekly chats on destonian.com, they can be every day with the portal, or Monday, Fridays, and Saturday's for sure at 9pm SA time.
Looking forward to meeting you there.

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com - Beginner Course in Desteni I Process
http://www.eqafe.com - Library of Existence
www.destonians.com - Desteni Group Support Network
https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesteniUniverse/ - Desteni Group Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/WLthroughgarbseyes - My Personal DIP Sharing
http://www.desteni.org - Main Website
www.patreon.com/earthhaven - Life Community Building Network

The Child – Expression of Self as This - Series - Part 2

Photo Source

For Reference and context, the first part to this series:
The Child – Expression of Self as This - Series - Part 1

Continuing with the process of opening up and redefining the word child and adult for myself, and how I see it best to be lived in what would be best for all. I am reflecting on my own process of how I have come to understand this word and living of these words child and adult for myself based on who and how I have walked within the desteni I process that I have been diligently walking for the last 10 plus years. The desteni process I have found is important with supporting me with a foundation point to be able to indeed redefine this word child and adult to be child and wise child, because it’s the process I have found of the adult being birthed again as the child of existence and from there one walk into the ability to respond to reality directly and so learn the way of this physical world and reality, the laws, how it’s designed, engineered, and structured, and within this how to be able to stand in the stead of another and raise this other to be a wise child, holding onto the wondrous nature of the child in this world as well as harnessing and using to all’s benefit the understanding through experience to live in a way of harmony and symbiosis to support oneself as all as best possible, thus the adult birthing as the child of existence through the desteni of the universe which is the desteni i process becomes the child of existence and through time and space becomes and creates the wise child, which will be what self create as there legacy.

This all will be cyclical of course, so one will indeed individually walk the process of becoming the adult, which is the a dull in one’s location point as the adult’s in this world currently are living disconnected and void of the understanding and so example of giving the child they create into a being that honors life and so stands for solutions that are best for all. Now a days and in the past, we see that this world was not created in symbiosis, support for all, understanding of natural order, and doing what is best, we have lived mostly in survival, fear, brutality, and death, and thus our children are not becoming the solution as we have hoped, they are becoming the a dull, meaning arousing little interest, lacking liveliness, boring, they are not operating in the means in which we as life are meant to and have the potential to live, which is like a child, innocent, engaging, alive, here, present, curious, adventurous, wild, carefree, freedom, independent, and much more, this point of child in our reality is a gift that has been given to ourselves from life itself to once again see self in a pure form and through that learn how to live in a way that supports all, as this will support oneself and so one’s child as well cause you can take care of it and know when it goes it indeed will expand in all ways possible as self has given that gift of self.

Without though understanding the how to take care of a child properly in this world, one will have difficulty transcending this dullness that occurs to ourselves when we come to adult hood, not everyone in this world does this, but the majority of us do, meaning we settle, we go into the system, survive, don’t question ourselves, don’t question the status quo of this world, don’t question why we accept and allow the annihilation of billions of people, animals, plant species, our clean environment/natural cycles in our eco-living system, and much more. We go into the idea that we are not enough, we can’t do it, we are not smart enough, good enough, there is not enough resources, money, knowledge, but when push comes to shove for myself, what always comes up within me in these moments were I have to face what I am doing to my own inner child and any and all children I meet in this life that I can potential support in a way of what is best for all life, what I do when I don’t stand and essentially let that spark of life that we all see in children’s eyes get snuffed out within me when I settle for a mediocre life, a settled life in the system, a life that is not what is best, this in essence is what the adults in this world have done, we have snuffed out the life within the children to come cause we have essentially done this to ourselves over generations of time and programming. But things have changed, life has emerged in the most unlikely of places and spaces, and is here, standing, with and aligned with all children to come to be able to stand as guardians of not only the children's lives to be best for all, but equally so the home and land in which we were birthed from is lively, enjoying, expressing, and aligned in symbiotic relationships that are supportive and life giving always in all ways.

So it’s a switch of perception I have found into a single focus of what is best for all life in oneness and equality as what would be best for self, and through the tools at desteni and eqafe explained in unbelievable detail over hours of material resources (this source a few of many, but here I see desteni i process my tree of life, my root system from which who i am as a being from this point of starting my process is growing from, so it's a foundational platform to support one to stand as life and essential i have found if one walk this journey with what is here, which I highly recommend) you too can become the steward of the children to come, making them grow from child to wise child as the adult in essence births themselves equally so as the child of existence from a dull location point one was walking into the wonderment of living as a child of existence and through this process of self forgiveness and living the change, one become and so can stand as a support for the children that are here to become wise in the sense that they know and have examples of how to live to be there highest potential, along with and aligned and integrated as best possible with all life around them as oneself, as one's example, as one has done it for themselves, and so now can stand and give the gift to another of self creation. 

This is a journey and a process, though this particular structure I have seen as a pattern for myself of the journey I have walked and now can say am able to stand for the children in my care and to come to be able to give them wisdom to live there best self and truly be able to live life here in joy and peace and prosperity for all life as we know it. And for all life children to come as our future selves, long live ourselves in the best life has to offer. 

Thanks for reading and please feel free to leave any comment or questions if you see fit.

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com - Beginner Course in Desteni I Process
http://www.eqafe.com - Library of Existence
www.destonians.com - Desteni Group Support Network
https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesteniUniverse/ - Desteni Group Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/WLthroughgarbseyes - My Personal DIP Sharing
http://www.desteni.org - Main Website
www.patreon.com/earthhaven - Life Community Building Network

The Child – Expression of Self as This - Series - Part 1

I am looking at within these next few blogs to explain how I see the structuring of the word child, adult, and family unit in a sense in a way that supports all involved and what is best for all in it’s outflow in times to come. I am walking this process currently within myself in many ways, and through this process of self understanding and self expansion in these words as me I have come to find some interesting expressions and realizations have come up in me that has supported me greatly. I have found an expression of gentleness, love, care, and for lack of a better word softness has started exuding out of me as my core self sharing I would say or like beingness expression as been described in many recordings at Eqafe.com is starting to be physically lived as I live my forgiveness and correction process of who I am as a life being. So I have found it important that these expressions of the feminine alignments has been explored and understood within me and so for me to develop along with the more masculine expressions I was more naturally aligned to as a child as structure, groundedness, and physical drive. So for myself, I have as of recent years been finding myself more feeling balanced and stable in these two balancing expressions within self as the masculine and feminine expressions and so this I am seeing has been supporting me to see this 'new' way of living the word child and adult to child and wise child.

Though, please be reminded that we all have within our self presence these two expressions in varying degrees, they are just laying dormant or over-exemplified in ways as one live in this world and through the mind consciousness system, I have found through walking the desteni process these two expressions of the masculine and feminine are coming more into balance and symbiosis and thus allowing me to stand in support of what is here as this physical living reality as my physical location point (for more on this understanding check out this interview on eqafe - https://eqafe.com/p/different-locations-reptilians-part-503). The expressions of the ying and yang can be explained and should be in other blogs, this though is not the point of this series of blogs I am writing out here, this series of blogs is based on looking at the word adult and child, but in blogs to come I will explore more these relationships of male/female and how I have integrated them more in my personal process with the desteni tools.

So back to child and wise child as child and adult redefinitions. Starting with the word Child, which if looked at it in the direct physical reality is the smaller, less experienced version of the adult in this world. We see no difference in terms of ability and reasoning skills in terms of growth and development as a life being between the two, one in essence is just further along in the journey we call life. So within this journey location point in the life cycle of the human in this current life we find ourselves in, the adult has more of a responsibility to stand and so support the child to be able to understand and so live the ‘laws’ of this planet earth. As there is indeed a natural order and balance that exist here in this physical world, if one need to understand this study more the circle of life in the natural world, nature and animal kingdoms how they function and exist within themselves and each other as species, an example would be trees and fungus's relationship.

Of course we also have the ‘current’ way the system operates with survival in place as the current functioning of how this system moves we have called 'human modern' civilization, this is what I call the ‘old’ way of walking the world system, this ‘old’ way will eventually be replaced with the ‘new’. The ‘new’ is where each one reading this comes in, we as the ‘new’ are in the process of creating that ‘new’ and one have to realize within this process of creating the ‘new’ you as the self have a responsibility to not only the children to come, but any and all children that come into your care in this current moment and the moments to come until you pass onto the next next chapter of your existence, and anyone for that matter you meet in your reality to support and assist them as best you are able to. This is the natural law and order of this reality as the life principles of what is actually governing and existing this world/life/physical existences, essentially ALL of us here. It is in service of all through and as self, giving and then receiving without want, this the 'extra-ordinary' of life I have found.

This understanding and alignment back into living self responsible being in relation to the natural physical order of this planet is what is being walked at ‘Desteni’ and ‘Eqafe’, there is much that is required in regards to educating self on this 'body' of existential material I have found in these sources, though this is a self journey and at the end of the day you have the tools of self forgiveness, self honesty, self investigation, self correction, and aligning self here in what is best for all as what is best for self in breath as all as one as equal.  And with anything the first step is all that is needed to get started, and yet the point of keeping up with the stepping after that is a will in self strength in who you are as life, and within that one will walk through the door and start your process, only you can do this, though there is many who will stand in your stead until you can do it for yourself, the journey to life is being walked here and the support networks you'll find within the desteni group and networks will always be here, so reach out, educate, and participate, it's all here for you to explore. And as with the children of this world, we learn to explore in pure enjoyment and innocence, this is key to remember as one delve in to the self correction process, don't forget to have fun, relax, and breathe ;)

This self journey of self purification (which is supported with Desteni I Process) is key in the redefining and living of the word child and adult in a way that is of support for self as one align and walk the words to support all life in what is best. This I have been looking at and working with as a point of self creation and how I would see and want to live these words for myself and for others to be one day manifest, this is my passion so to speak, what I am willing into this reality, if it is created I know it’ll be best for all as best I saw it in my journey at this moment in time. I am truth in this point for self and thus I am living my self honesty in what is best for all as best I am able to and so it'll be created as I am the creator, created, and creation. Same with the human life span, the creator as the adult, the created as the child, and the creation as the wise child. And thus a trinity is formed and a symbiotic relationship that restores order and balance to the physical and thus heaven on earth can manifest in this point lived.

So I suggest you check out the links below if you haven’t yet, and join me as I walk and explore the redefining and living words of the word child and adult into child and wise child in blogs to come!

Thanks for reading and please feel free to leave any comment or questions if you see fit.

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com - Beginner Course in Desteni I Process
http://www.eqafe.com - Library of Existence
www.destonians.com - Desteni Group Support Network

https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesteniUniverse/ -  Desteni Group Facebook Page

https://www.facebook.com/WLthroughgarbseyes - My Personal DIP Sharing
http://www.desteni.org - Main Website
www.patreon.com/earthhaven - Life Community Building Network

Understanding Myself as the Physical – Day 589

When I look at the word physical and my experience within it, I see that for most of my life I have never considered the actual point of being a physical being, who we are as life here as the physical, it’s been something that has never been in my awareness. Yes, I realized that we are on earth and the physical world is what we live in and with to make us be alive, but since walking with desteni and understanding more of the scope and depth of what the physical actually is, it has been an eye-opening experience to say the least. And what has really been interesting is the realization that the physical world is simple, it is direct, here, in the moment, as everything is all ways in the principle of oneness and equality in what is best for all. Here direct as the moment alive, working with our own physical capabilities, our own physical mind and mental systems we have created as consciousness programs, we are in fact the living creation, yet we have never realized we are this or more specifically forgotten that we have done this.

We have forgotten ourselves as the life principle lived, it is mathematical, specific in it’s application, but within that there is freedom, acceptance, understanding, integrity, and much more. You can’t I have found put a definition on this creation principle, it is ever-flowing and ever moving, and when aligned to life here in what is best, it is the stuff of dreams, really interesting living experiences have been opening up for me. Things that I have always desired and wanted for myself are starting to manifest, and I have attested it to my living application for the past 10 years of self-forgiveness and living change in these very simple principles, being self honest as best possible, never giving up, holding the life principle of self as what is best within self, cherish yourself as life, and then expanding that out to the world you touch. It’s been extraordinary, yet difficult at the same time.

Difficult in the sense that it’s been a process of challenges, I have faced many demons of mine and still to this day have the threat of facing these points, yet, what I have held dear to myself and to what is here and has shown true in my own living experience is life is merciful if one act in this way to others as self. Who you are within your living within yourself and within the without, voices volumes of information to the universe and those supporting in the process of life in what's best on all levels big and small. This is a process of existence that is being walked and we are here together within it all, to support and show ourselves and each other how to live in harmony and peace. and this is through living principled within self as who you are as your best self through self-forgiveness and living change, and through this one will see life emerge within and without. It’s extraordinary because life can not be pinned down, it cannot be tamed, it can not be touched within the honor that resides within what is here as this point of self emergence as life.

So I am starting to explore for myself this physical reality, who I am as a physical being, how the self is as life as who I am as principled living in what is best, through living self-forgiveness and change. These simple points of support have changed my life in the most extraordinary of ways it’s hard to put into words. So I have been honored in this process tenfold and as I have been given so you will be given as well as you stand as life and do what is best. You change your living in your highest self, you align to what is best for all in your life. There is challenges I still face, but stability and self-trust become self and within this, no one can touch. So it’s a self-creation process unknown to not even the universe, all options are open, all possibilities, all opportunities, and do not fear because you are everything, use integrity and stand in your highest potential and you will be good.

This is what I have found as a point of support for me to face the unknown, it helps me to keep moving and forging forward. I also see it as an adventure and fun, playing as life as the child I am of this universe and discovering myself, seeing it for what it is within a child’s point of view, they definitely have something to share and have been diminished for far to long. It is time we stand as life for the children to come, stand up once and for all, and live what is best for all within and without. It’s time to stand in the physical as your directive will, let’s carry on and stand together as a support

Self Forgiveness (Day 3): Only Seeing the Worst of Myself - Day 581

Art By: Andrew Gable

Find his Blog here: https://anartistsjourneytolife.wordpress.com

I am sure we all can relate to this point of only seeing the worst in ourselves in moments of our life, they may be fleeting or they may be the majority of how one see what is here. I have been looking at this point as of late due to understanding why I in fact do this? What causes such an experience to only see what is bad, horrible, fearful, and so the worst that could happen or is here? 

There is a few dimensions that came up for me initially and those were the habitual and automated way I have created myself to see life in fear and realizing this has been patterned and repeated over and over in my life thus far, thirty plus years of viewing life like this. The second is being bombarded as a child to be afraid, the one memory that is coming up for me the strongest is my mom telling me that if anyone comes up to me on the street or when we are out and try to take me, to run and scream and look for a policeman! This obviously made me see that the world is a scary and dark place, even if i didn't realize it so much at the time, it imprinted into me on deep levels, being scared of the world i live in, people are bad, and humans can not be trusted. 

This leading to the experience that i am to be afraid, we have unfortunately created such a world were life is not guaranteed for many and that we can not at this time fully trust each other, so there is some logic in what my mom did, and i do understand she was doing what she thought was right. Though, this is not the only way to live life and through my example, who I am in relation to life here, and how i live I can reverse that paradigm and instead see the best in life nad build the trust that is necessary to ensure life is trustworthy and humans are educated on how and why to live in this way as well.

Self forgiveness on this childhood memory:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the sound and intensity of my mom's facial expressions in the moment of her telling me to be careful and scream and run if anyone trys to take me out in public.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take on the idea from that moment on that the world and people are dangerous and people will harm me if i am not aware and careful of my surroundings.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people are bad and that they will do the worst of what can be done onto others and this includes myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that all people in the world are not to be trusted and could and will do harm onto me if i am not careful and aware of what the people i interact with are like.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take inventory and judgments of other people as indicators if they were trustworthy or not based on if they were friendly, the way they looked, the way they acted, and judge if i would like them or not and fear them, if these boxes were checked or not.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become distrustful of people around me in those moments of imagining a person taking me to harm me as my mom told me how to get away.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into petrification in that moment and see people as harmful instead of seeing people within the moment and allow the relationship to develop through time to get to know the person rather than just making quick sight judgments and defining someone to the worst of life in my mind and write them off as untrustworthy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see the worst in life only where i see people as threats and judge people as unapproachable, making myself isolated and justifying this as this is how life is supposed to because people are fuck ups and i don't want to be around them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only see the bad in people and thus only see the bad within myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only see the judgments of not good enough, not making the mark, not being friendly enough, not being cool enough unto myself as i do in my quick sight judgments of others based on fear and distrust instead of seeing the best in others and standing as this as myself until it is proven otherwise and the being needs to walk a process without me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mom for imprinting this fear of people onto me based on her way of showing help to me as a child with potentially getting kidnapped instead of seeing that she was doing her best and she also was imprinted with this fear and distrust of people.

I see, realize, and understand that the relationship i would like to create with others and my world is one were the best is the starting point of who i am in my interactions and within myself, and i see that common sense must be applied in case to case basis if it is realistically something to consider based on what is transpiring in physical reality.

I commit myself to live the word best where i stand within the moment as best possible to see what is best within myself or another when the moment comes to fear and go into distrust.

I commit myself to get to know the being and my self by opening communication and find out what is best about the moment or being and see what comes through.

I commit myself to use common sense and the ability of myself to create the best of what is here through perseverance and living it as myself.

I commit myself to be my best self in each moment that is here so i can stand and recognize it within others, so what is best is created in this life instead of the worst of self.

Thanks for reading.


Support and educate yourself on the links shared to live your best self:


http://www.eqafe.com - Check out the new unlimited subscription plan at Eqafe, it's fantastic!
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
www.destonians.com
http://www.desteni.org
http://www.earthhaven.org

Dependency - Day 576

I have been seeing within this specific relationship I have in my head toward a particular being that I enjoyed and want to get to know more, but they are not showing signs that they want to get to know me more intimately and deeply. There is a couple points of reaction I am seeing causing this point of compromise within me where I am reacting in anger, jealousy, inferiority, and desire, and through this is based on projections I am having of what could be, what I would want to have happen, fear of lose, and so I am seeing this is all being created because I have allowed this point of dependency on others to define and so give myself direction in my life instead of creating this for myself.

This is stemming from my childhood where my parents always supported me with giving me words to who I was in a positive way, and so taking on this positive outlook of myself and in a way believing that this is all I am. Then others in my reality showed points of negativity where I would then start to question who I was within me due to a belief that I am defined by the words of others and believing that what is said to me is who I am. This obviously causing conflict within me, a desire to be a follower of others who give me positivity, seeking out those who give me this, and so create a dependency on this experience I get within me when someone gives me a compliment or an experience is created from the words or actions shown by another that is making me have feelings of acceptance, cause within myself I am not giving this to myself and directing myself through living words that are best for self and so best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on the words and gestures of others that give me an experience within myself of positivity, where the experience of feelings come up as energy that I follow as a ride I go on, and from there when the energy has diminished within me as energy feeling and so the ride I was on is over, I go into a depression, a sinking, an experience that I am now less because I no longer have the experience within me of feeling something ‘good’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself through the experience that come up within me as points of energy with thoughts of how another will give me something or gave me something such as a positive loaded comment where I experience myself different from the usual lack of confidence I have experienced myself within due to the lack of positive feedback I have received from my reality and so created this seesaw within me as conflict of feeling less then myself here as a being that is physical and present, and so become dependent on others in my reality to show me who I am and within that, be defined by the energy experiences within me as energy that comes and goes as the fleeting moments in time I participate in, which is participating in the mind consciousness system feeding off the reality I am living in instead of standing one and equal within it and directing who I am based on my living as words and so actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow thoughts within my mind of ‘I am not able’ ‘I am not good enough’ ‘I need a partner who will give me a sense of my self as a ‘nice’ person and through this compromise my stand as life here one and equal to all beings here, where I am not dependent on taking from others and within this needing others to support me to live here as a being of worth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience the words of others within me through energy as positive reinforcement where I have defined myself solely on what others say to me rather then standing as a point of support for myself as myself and walking with reality as me as a stand for life as a pillar within who I am as I live and so from here am able to be an equality and oneness with others in all ways and be interdependent in the sense that I am not in need of others to give me life as energy experiences in me I follow and ride, but I give life to myself as living words as my self honesty in action and so can give life as I equally receive the life of who others are here in return and thus expand and learn about life here in oneness and equality in what is best for all.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed jealousy of the relationships of others that is built on solid ground and are a living example of what this stand as this point and so instead of creating this for myself, I disempower myself through self interest and create jealousy because within myself I am in self diminishment as I am not as of yet walking the path of self forgiveness, self honesty, and so living change to become empowered within myself as I change who I am from dependent on others to standing as an equal and realizing the oneness that does, in fact, exist here and that can be created as this equality is lived through words I redefine and live for myself and so share who I am with others on solid ground as I am grounded in my living here by actually standing within me and without equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed anger toward others in my reality to have what I want instead of realizing, seeing, and understanding that this has nothing to do with the other beings in my reality, but all to do with my own compromise within myself as I am showing to myself that at this time I am standing as not willing to walk the path of correction, which is a process of realignment in my living to define who I am within and so to the without in self introspection, self forgiveness, and living change and become my own understanding and presence of life as I live the correction process I walked in writing or sounding within self-forgiveness to learn what it’ll take to walk the path and process of self standing, self-empowerment, and self real-i-zation of the reality of self being here in who I am as my words redefine to align and so become one and equal with my living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry at others in my reality who are standing as this point through and through, not realizing, seeing, and understanding that this anger has nothing to do with beings in my reality, but all to do with my own self anger as I am understanding within me I am compromising myself due to laziness, apathy, and non movement of the path and process that is required for reprogramming who I am in these moments of dependency on others and so creating myself in reality as a real being who speaks words and stands as my own living words as I redefine who I am in writing and sounding forgiveness and directing myself in my reality in total self-responsibility in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in backchat hate and spite of others in my reality as I accepted and allowed the experience of self-pity and self inferiority, through this only diminishing myself and my own stand in my reality as a being with integrity and the maturity to do what has to be done and walk the necessary physical steps of change required to walk the path of self creation in self responsibility in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for not showing me the reality of what is here and so blame others in my world in many ways for not being there for me, when this is actually a gift and doorway to the path of forgiving myself for my miss-takes and living my forgiveness where I change myself to stand on my own two feet grounded in reality and standing as an equal as I redefine who I am as life in words that are supportive and best for me and so will equal and one support others as well.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others in my reality and so diminish within the experience i have created of a belief that i am not as good as others or i am better, creating a lack within me and so a lack in my living where i go into an experience that i need something someone where because within myself i am not giving it to myself. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create competition to beings in my world that i see that have what i desire, instead of realizing that i am not standing within myself as a being with integrity to walk the actual walk it takes to stand as that beings equal in care, regard, and consideration of what is best for all, and in that spite myself as life and become compromised as life as a diminished version unwilling at that moment to walk the process of change. 

I commit myself to stand in the words integrity as my internal grit to walk the change necessary to stand as an equal to life as i live what is best for all in regard of all and create myself within  my lviing to be here present as the precense of myself willing and able to create agreements that is best for all and no longer need or particpate in mind games as competition, comparision, or spite as i let go of these experiences within myself as i walk the living change necessary within me and so give myself as life within  my living to create what is best for self and so best for all. 

I realize and understand that I am able through and through and in fact is the only way to walk the change process necessary to create myself as a real being in my physical living that stands as a equal in my words and so is able to be independent of the energy experience I have accepted and allowed through becoming polarized in my reality through energy as emotions and feelings, I commit myself to let go of thoughts through breathing, and live the word independent as a point of reference that I have a process of physical change that is necessary through writing and living words that I can direct myself within and so live that is best for me and so best for all.

I realize that I am whole responsible for myself and the change that is required within to stand as a plus one in the reality as my physical presence to align back in the physical world as an equal walking the breath here in what is best for all through living words of support for self and flowing like water in my reality to change who I am to stand in this regard where it’s about who self is and how self lives here.

I commit myself to walk the dimensions of mind compromise I am existing within that separates me from life here in equality and oneness in what is best for all and so the cross-reference I can use as support is the polarizing within me of energy and the experience of dependency that comes up moving into breath and living words such as independent, self worth, self love, and self responsibility to change self in the moment to let go of energy and physically live the correction to stand as an equal as my living matches my words that is here as me.

I commit myself to let go of the experience of blame onto others as I take responsibility for my own experiences through walking the process of self change to live as an equal to others and so live as a pillar within me that is self sustaining as I walk the process of self purification through self forgiveness and become real as a being that is in physical.

I commit myself to redefine the word dependent to stand as a dependable being who walks the talk of living words that I redefine and live in alignment with all life as so honoring the life within and so without equal and one as a being that is in fact equal and one and not taking from life and not giving as I'd like to receive first and foremost. 

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