Friday, October 31, 2014

Moving Beyond Limitations – Self Forgiveness on an Embarrassing Moment – Day 434

Here writing from my last blog about the moment of physical reaction coming up when speaking to people about the product I am selling, and my face becoming red as if I am uncomfortable within myself and this a sign for all to see.

Excerpt from my last blog:
 "I became emotional when I interpreted a person saying something negatively about me to my partner, and that I was then going to be judged by this person as not worthy. So from this moment on, I was in reaction, it was towards the end of the day, though I still had one other moment that I am going to write self forgiveness on and practical corrective application. This was a few moments after I reacted, another vendor came over and I was put on the spot to discuss what our product was about. I was not ready for this because within myself I was trying to get stable after taking that moment before personally."

Here I will start with slowing that moment down when I started to notice my face was going red. I remember speaking and within my mind going into an experience of discomfort and an emotional experience of wanting to give up and feeling alone, like I can never get close to anyone because they will just judge me and see and/or say that I am not good enough. So based on this interpretation me believing I was told by this man I was not a good sales person and allowing this to effect my future interactions, not considering all the factors that were involved within this moment, I then brought this reaction and belief through to the next moment with the vendor asking me about what our product was about causing the interaction not to be my best effort, but tainted with reactions and blame.

These reactions are showing my own self judgment's being projected onto the external reality. Tall tale signs of me wanting to escape facing myself and who I have become in these moments of high energy reactions and the actions that it'll take to change in these moments, which is the road less traveled so to speak as it's not an easy path and something that I resist. But I realize without a doubt that it is absolutely worth it, for more on this I will write in later blogs, but here I will walk self forgiveness on this moments with the cheeks and points that were involved with this. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the belief I have created about myself that others are trying to put me down and harm me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame this belief I have of myself as not being good enough onto others within a state of self victimization where I believe I am powerless to others and there effects on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself and project this inherent blame of the way in which I am experiencing myself as the victim and powerless onto others in my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project blame onto others within my world and in my reality based on me holding onto a belief that others are trying to harm me and abuse me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within myself of me being powerless to others based on the energy experience I have accepted within me of feeling inferior and diminished around others because of something they said or did in my presence that I took as a personal attack or abuse towards me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate responsibility within not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am the creator of this experience of inferiority and diminishment within me due to judging myself within myself in ways of seeing myself as not doing well within this event and comparing myself to other people around me, and so then believe within me that that is what everyone else is doing and saying about me in their minds and also in my perception I have defined within there actions towards me within their gestures and even words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take other peoples words, gestures, or ideas, beliefs, imaginations within my own mind personal and believe that this is who I am when I see, realize, and understand and have proven to myself that when I move as breath here and align with my body and act, I am able to perform in a manner that I am satisfied with and that is aligned with my expression, and so I see, realize, and understand that I have a decision to make in these moments to either go into a point of diminishment experience of things that are not based on fact and reality, and so can not be trusted or walk what is here, what is stable, what I can trust, myself in action here as I breath, aligned with the physical and who I am here in the moment of speaking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad in the moment of believing I was being judged and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own judgments and comparison of myself as not good enough onto another person and then accept that I am being held down and abused, when I see, realize, and understand that I am doing this to myself, I am abusing myself in my own mind, and not changing in those moments to what is stable, what supports me as life and my expression, and what creates me as life and that is through my living here in the moment as I speakand stopping my participation in these thoughts, energy experiences, and my mind within memories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in that moment of judgment towards myself in my mind as doing bad when explaining the product to the vendor and thinking he must see me really being pathetic within trying to explain this, and so react within a physical moment of embarrassment accepting and allowing this moment to define me as a point of proof that I am bad through defining and judging myself as not doing good cause my face went red.

I forgive  myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for going red in the face when I speak and react, and believe I am less then the other person talking because of me being uncomfortable visibly in front of them and going red, when I realize, see, and understand this is not in fact real, I am making this up, and it does not benefit me in anyway, so I realize I can change in that moment, let the mind go and the beliefs and judgments, and move myself beyond that limitation into immediate correction which is here within myself in awareness in what direction I will walk next as I speak in my expression in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto that memory of me being seen in the moment of going red in the face and visible being uncomfortable as a reminder that I am less then others and go into that sinking feeling of powerlessness when I remember the moment I go red and what that feeling felt like, when I realize, see, and understand that it is not defining me here, it is an occurrence that I can learn from and realize how to correct the point, but I also realize, see, and understand that it’s just an energy experience of powerlessness, I am not this actually, I can move myself in each moment and change myself in what direction I will to what makes sense in the moment and what will benefit all and so myself, walking common sense and real time application within breathing, correcting, and living.

I will continue with the self correction writing and re-defining some relevant words within these current blogs I am doing, thanks for reading and stay tuned.

Interview Support on the topic of moving through Embarrassment:
Embarrassment: Embarrassment and Personalities - Atlanteans - Part 106
Embarrassment: Is it Really so Bad? - Atlanteans - Part 107
Embarrassment: Sounding Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans – Part 108

Check Out these Awesome sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

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