Acceptance and Work: Dissecting the “I don’t want to” Character - Day 510

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I have taken on a new position in my job where it wasn’t a direct decision by myself where I had time to consider all the points and find what best suited me, I was more thrown into the position by unforeseen and unfortunate events. With that being said, I am now in a position of leadership and responsibility where I have to sharpen my skills and face fears and illusions I have created for myself. One of the points that has been coming up lately and has been effecting my work flow and environment is this nagging backchat that ‘I don’t want all this responsibility, I don’t want to be in charge of all this, I don’t want to be stressed about money and problems that arise day in and day out, I want to be free and do what I want’, then my mind will go into pictures of how others are getting to have an easier time, get to have fun and be worry free, I want that life again, I don’t want all this responsibility.

Though I realize that I have to change this pattern because I have decided to walk this path and ensure I do my best at it. So I will walk some forgiveness and create some ways forward for myself to find solutions for the points that I am facing within this character.

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a character of the ‘I don’t want to’ do what I have in front of me to do because of beliefs that it’s too hard and too much, not seeing that I am creating an experience of it as too much and too hard because of the personality I am going in of not wanting to do something with the energy of resistance and tiredness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the character of ‘I don’t want to’ based on the belief that I am not able to when I see, realize, and understand I am able to that its more a lack of effort to do what has to be done because I have created a polarized reality of what is good and what is based through comparison with other people in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have my life be smooth and comfortable at all times where I don’t have stress or points that are challenging because within that I have created the perception that this is what I want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blind me from the realization within the actually facing challenges and pushing myself within them to find solutions and ways forward, I grow and expand and this is when I am most empowered as I am able to be more purposeful within what I do and create more of who I am through the challenges I face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed pictures and thoughts of how good it is over there in the easy life where I see comfort and fun, when I see, realize, and understand each one is equally facing challenges within there lives and that life is not about what you do or where you are, but more who you are within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the face that I am where I am and I have the responsibilities I have, though I can accept this and walk within the realization that these challenges will support with my growth and expansion, and empower me to be more and more the person I really am as my potential in this life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create blame and reaction to others in  my reality for frustrations I am having toward myself for not moving into the challenges in acceptance and walking who I am within them as a creation process and opportunity to live my utmost potential within it.

When and as I am seeing myself go into the ‘I don’t want to’ character and start blaming and going into daydreams about how great life is over there, I stop and breathe, and realize that I am responsible for who I am within my life circumstances and I can change myself to accept this and live these opportunities to the best of my ability and make them something worthwhile that is best for me and all.

I commit myself to live the word acceptance when I see I am going into blame or reactive thoughts as I see I decide to walk this point and that I am responsible for who I create myself.

I commit myself to walk solutions that are substantial to support myself and all involved in a way that supports all to be there best by walking with them, understanding them, and finding ways to support there strengths and strengthen their weaknesses as I walk for myself.

I commit myself to live the word accept – stand where I accept what is here as it is and move into directing myself to live my highest potential and bring the best out of what I am walking within myself and within others.

I commit myself to push myself in challenges where I move into solutions and let go of the desire to resist and give up.

Really cool Support Hangout on the Word Work and what that means:

Redefining Work 

Self Supportive Material -
http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support:
http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
http://www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

“Don’t Fuck with Me” Character and Solution – Day 507

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This character I go into quite often when I am with people, I have created a relationship with people of fear and hostility based on the belief that they are out to harm me and abuse me. Though through walking my process and self investigating myself I realized that I am actually thinking this up in my mind and so creating it in my reality because I am the creator of myself and thus my reality. We are powerful beings, though we are not in control of this power as of yet due to how I accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility of myself and of my life to stand equal and one with what is here and live what is best for all. So here walking the correction process to change pattern by pattern, point by point.

What is creating this character of “don’t fuck with me” is a strong desire of self importance believing to be some sort of advanced being and within the people around me and whom I interact with on a daily basis are beings who are so harsh and troublesome thus not as advanced. What I have abdicated myself to not see, realize, and thus change is the way in which I am thinking and creating my reality as I am equal and one to the outflows of what I am experiencing within myself and thus my world. I am not becoming disciplined enough within my breath by breath awareness to change myself when these patterns come up with the thoughts of how ‘bad’ others are, how ‘ignorant’, how ‘disrespectful’, and within this creating this world and reality coming from my mind projection and superimposing it into the reality I am living within. This creating the character personality of “don’t fuck with me” as a defense mechanism, so I don’t have to look at myself, my own mind thoughts, my own behavior, and change within these moments to stand within what is best for all.

Here living words I will be continue to support myself with and expand within it’s understanding and expression as I progress, so I can go into a form of self expression that is here, present, and not consisting of energy or thoughts, but living words as expressions that are supportive of life.

So some self forgiveness on this pattern of “don’t fuck with me”:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of self exultation of myself in relation to those around me believing I am more advanced and more sophisticated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how my thoughts go to judging others as less then me and how within this I am diminishing the other in my mind to become more then and so become the winner in my own mind, not seeing, realizing, or understanding that this is only diminishing myself as I go into a form of suppression of who I am being and thus become limited within my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my thoughts as judgments direct me in my reality in relation to others not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am only defining myself and thus within this opportunity I can change and create myself within living words that are supportive of others and of life in general.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become hostile to others in my environment based on creating a scenario where they are being harmful and judgmental towards me not seeing, realizing, and understanding that within my backchat I am judging them and thinking about them lacking, and thus I am resonating and thus creating the hostility I am experiencing as this is who I am in thought, word, and deed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a personality suit of the “don’t fuck with me” character, so I don’t have to face the truth of myself, which is someone who is causing harm and separation within myself and thus causing harm and separation within my reality as what is within self is equally being created in the without.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within my expression as not good enough or not strong enough to face reality here and so go into a defense mechanism of “don’t fuck with me” character to not have to face my reality and who I have created to be in fear of people and not see, realize, and understand that I am creating this fear that it in fact is not real as it’s energy and it moves away once dissipated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become suppressed within myself in not wanting to face or change the hidden parts of myself that I don’t like and want to push away such as the lack I feel within my expression, not seeing, realizing, and understanding that pushing this lack emotion away I am pushing the opportunity to face it, understand it, and change it for myself so I can realize my strengths and strengthen my weaknesses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not face my mind real time and allow it to fester and sit while I continue to suppress the reality of myself as separating myself from my responsibility to change myself and stand within the face of my self in my reality to support with solutions and create them for myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to abdicate responsibility to others in my reality and blame them for the way I am experiencing myself within turmoil, not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I can change myself and so change the outcome of myself within my living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others and so judge myself and thus separate myself from life here in oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel so overwhelmed within myself about what is here and what I have to change, not seeing, realizing, and understanding that this is an experience I can change and live moment to moment, direct myself into specificity and efficiency, and taking it point by point.

When and as I see myself going into the “don’t fuck with me” character, I stop and breath, and change myself self into taking self responsibility for my mind and my thoughts, stopping them through breath, and living words that’ll support with stability. I realize I am creating harm and separation in my reality when in this personality suit where I could be creating stability and solutions that are best for all.

I commit myself to live the word care where I care for myself within stopping the judgment of myself. Stopping the thoughts of being hard on myself. Stop the attacks of myself and others in my mind as less then or not living correctly.

I commit myself to stand within a gentleness where I move slow and softly within my physical body, like a flow or breeze moving within the rhythm of my breath as I move out of the energy and into my physical stability as my body.

I commit myself to let go of the thoughts by focusing on my physical movements and moving myself in my body, grounding the energy through my breath into my feet and into the earth.

I commit myself to live the words equality and oneness as physical reality were all are physical manifestations and we are all equal within this, where no two are separate but expressing in our own expressions.

 I commit myself to create my expression within and as physical activities such as art or music and walk self forgiveness and self correction to the thoughts that come up until I am clear.

Self Supportive Material -
http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support:
http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
http://www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Moving Beyond the Personality - Day 469

For context to this blog, please read my previous blog:
Making the Mind Personal – Day 468

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my mind personal and believe that what I am seeing, following as thoughts, believing as true, and reacting to in conflict is who I really am and that nothing is able to be changed because this is just to overwhelming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what I am experiencing within and as my mind is too overwhelming to deal with and that I am enslaved and being over taken by it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not able to direct myself within my mind when I have seen, realize, and understood that within my self will I have stopped my mind, energy, thoughts, beliefs, and stood within principles of what is best and life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the mind is too powerful within it’s systematic way that I can’t foresee what is to happen and what to expect next, when I see, realize, and understand that the tools of self support and self directiveness is always here as breath, principles, and my own self will in which I have proven in time how to stand for myself and stand within life principles.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the past, present, and future of my mind where I go into thinking about this and that instead of realizing, seeing, and understanding that what is here is not thinking, but living and so within living, I am here and thus am able to empower myself through my own will to live and change in what is best for all through living words and support platforms that move myself into breath by breath living and directing myself in the here moment to solutions that are best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing the ability to think and have the mind to fall back on as I have used it in ways to not face parts of myself that I have denied and suppressed and so letting go of the mind and living as breath, the responsibility of myself is here and living in self honesty is to be proven.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a mistake and falling within my self and life living process, and so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my mind or others within an attempt to thwart my responsibility and consequence of outflows I have created within my life and so perpetuate abuse rather then walking the correction process and supporting life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the mind and blame it for what is happening as the consequences in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take full responsibility for myself as my living and what I have created and so I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stand as the correction process here in each moment as I walk in this process through the mind as myself and into a correction process to live life here as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the mind as a safety net and not move beyond my fears to live here and direct myself as my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my life personal and what happens to me or what doesn’t and go into blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my living word here and create separation and abuse.

I commit myself to take full responsibility of my mind as I move into a slow down correction process of myself as real time application.

I commit myself to live self response-ability in each here moment where I embrace my life and walk it into a correction process each and every moment as it comes.

I commit myself to slow down in moments of patterned behavior such as voice rising or thoughts repeating and do self forgiveness out loud to clear it.

I commit myself to speak correction statements to navigate my living here into a support of what is best for all in my living.

I commit myself to live words into the physical that are supportive for all, consider all involved, and honor the life within all.

I commit myself to see all equally and embrace this as myself within all that I do.

I commit myself to live breath by breath and move the energy back to the earth and walk the correction process that is best for all. 

More Support for the topic of Taking the Mind Personal:
Insecurity: Going Deeper: Introduction - Atlanteans – Part 248
Self Sabotage: Nature & Design - Atlanteans - Part 285
Moving from Taking Things Personally to Personal Responsibility - Reptillians Part 224
Self Sabotage: Personality System - Atlanteans - Part 286

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

What My Job has Shown Me about Myself? – Part 1 – Day 436

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Going to a job everyday in the same location, seeing the same people, it get’s to be a place where you can really see who you are as the environment never changes and things repeat more often then not. The environment meaning in close proximity to many different people pretty much all day long. And everyday or every cycle shall I call it I see myself going into the same types of thoughts, the same types of ‘moods’, and acting in the same or very similar ways in my behavior and speech. It becomes very repetitive the day in and day out at the same location and again with the same faces as well as the same self that I walk around with everyday.

Obviously as can be seen with the title of my blog, I am on a journey to birth myself as life, so I am now more and more becoming aware of my behaviors, my thoughts in relation to others and myself, the nature of these thoughts, the energy involved within these thoughts, the personalities I go into in when different environmental changes or stimulus coming in to play or leave. There is a lot going on within me, though again it is very cyclical in it’s nature meaning I see the same types of thoughts, energies, reactions coming up, and overall it is not to the benefit of myself nor others. So having said this, I am finding that there is this urge that has started to emerge within me after I have been walking this process for more then 5 years now. Although, I indeed have proven to myself I am able to change and that I have the capacity to change, I am finding at this stage I am now within walking the mind layers I am at, I am becoming more and more reactive at myself and my environment around me (which is mirroring me, so still seeing self) that I am not moving fast enough, I am not showing enough progress, I am not changing quick enough, my environment is not moving in the direction that I see it should, I am not who I think I am as a person that is leading my own process, self directed, and able to do any and all things.

Of course this is a idea of myself I have created and projected onto my reality and myself, and the frustration I am sensing and starting to more and more react within is due to this idea I have created about myself and my reality in moving a specific way and within that creating the experience within myself as lacking something, where I am not quick enough, I am not doing enough, and my environment is not stable enough. This causing blame and anger within me which I am pushing onto my outer world, this is causing more and more consequences as it continues to be done without direction or a solution.

I have realized that within walking this process there is no right or wrong way to do it as well as there is no specific idea or belief of how it should be or how I should be moving within it, I also see that what is stemming from this frustration and anger is the fear of not making it in this process, not changing myself in such a way that I will be satisfied with myself as well as stable in reality, I am afraid that I will waste my opportunity I have been given and miss out on the life that is to come. So within my self now, I am in this constant state of anxiety and imaginations that I need to be doing this and that, I need to have progressed in this sort of way, I need to prove this about who I am, ect. This showing that I was not really progressing or excelling in the way in which I created about myself otherwise I would not be reacting, I would be stable. I realize I have been in self interest, out to make myself look like I am excelling, look like I am progressing, but was I being self honest within this? I would have to say within this aspect, no, I was doing it for others, I was doing it for attention, I was doing it for self acceptance, I was doing it to experience myself as worthy, and so I have created this experience within me now that I am in a survival situation and this is not what walking this process is about.

So here further, I will walk the tools of self forgiveness and self correction on these points I have brought up here of how I have experienced myself lately in my process and how I will walk the correction process to find solutions for myself, and so help others who may see support in this sharing as well.

Thanks for reading.   

Interview Support on the topic of Work Politics and Not Being Enough:
Life Review - I'm not Good Enough
Behind the Scenes of Office Politics - Life Review
Nothing is Good Enough - Life Review
Always Feeling like 'I'm not doing Enough' - Life Review
Why Do I Feel Like I Can't Connect With My Partner?
Stop Your Thoughts, Change Yourself - Reptilians - Part 284
Self-Interest in Self-Honesty: How does that work? - Reptilians' Supp…

Check Out these Awesome sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site