Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Competition In MY KNEE - Day 543

Photo By: Sylvia Gersson 
For more supportive photos, click here


I noticed after finishing my swim for tonight, I had a pain on my left k-nee(d), it felt like it was buckling in and this prompted me to lie down and investigate it further. What came up was a point of competition I was particpating in while myself and another swimmer where next to each other in the lanes, we kept passing each other and I was fighting myself to stop pushing myself to go fast and try and pass him and be the winner who get’s to the end of the lane first. I looked further into this and found that this pattern is one I participate in a lot and it’s a need to succeed and accomplish something, competition in sports is a great outlet for this pattern because it’s so clear the goal and a great chance of success. What pattern I saw existent within this desire to win, succeed, and accomplish things is a need to be valued by others and especially by myself, I am very competitive with myself, where if I do not succeed or grow within my life, I will create a depression type experience where I believe myself to be less valued, less worthy, and so lastly not able to compete, keep up, and survive in this world. So fear of survival is at the core of this pattern, where I believe myself to be only worthy or valued in this life if I am able to contribute something and compete to show I can, and within that seeking the best to feel better about myself.

What I didn’t realize is that this pattern is being fueled exclusively by my participation within it, there is a part of me that is seeking this feeling and this experience of being the best, being seen by others as worth something, and being able to within myself feel victorious in all that is able to be gained through being at the top and the best in a specific task or field. So my ego and self interest are equally pulsating as me in my actions and behaviors to move me in an intensity to succeed though within it I become unstable with fear of loss and fear of rejection at the same time. What I have learned through moving myself more and more into physical self directed movement is that there is a stability gained through living physically here that is unwavering in a way based on the very fact that I myself am creating the stability through what I have already lived and continue to live in each moment as my stand and my commitment. It is me, so I know and understand who I am within it which breeds clarity within self and thus stability in my enviroment.


When I go into ego, all bets are off as in self interest and ego you lose focus of the physical and of yourself, and you start drifting in thought streams that will take you with energy attached to them and then your on a roller coaster. So I have found that the stability of living my words, changing myself in my highest potential, and doing what is best is the best way to go as it’s the most certain and creates the most stability within self to create how I see fit.

I will walk some self forgiveness on competition and self interest:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in my ego in self interest of being the best within my swimming today due to wanting to impress the man i was swimming against so I could feel worthy if we were to interact as he would know that I am a good athlete and thus I am accomplished in something in my life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen by others as accomplished and good at things in my life because within myself i am feeling as if i am lacking in some way or another due to thoughts that I need to be better, i am not good enough, there are so many others who are better, and so create an experience that I am not as good and thus I will not be able to live the life i desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear of survival in this world due to what i have imprinted in my life where i see that you have to be good at something, and within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself to the life expression that exist within myself and so exist within all that is creative within it’s very expression, and so i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my and others creative expressions due to this belief that some are inherently great at things and those who are not are not as worthy and so subject to life in compromise.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live in to this belief that some are inherently better then others due to what they can do, what they say, what they look like, and so create this separation with everything that exist by putting everything in a box as good or bad and wrapping energy around this box pulsating positive or negative energy depending what i have programmed into myself to within that be able to have the high from time to time.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself in believing that separation exists in this world and so live into the survival system that was designed so I could feed off of the weak to be able to give myself a high once in a while, feeding off of addictive patterns within myself showing my own weaknesses, and being ok with a diminished and self compromised existence as life here in what is best in oneness and equality is able to be lived and is already here as me, though i must stand one and equal to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into addictions within myself as highs and so equally participate and live out the lows pretending that i don’t know what I am doing, when all the while I have been fooling myself and creating conflict in all areas of my life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i am not good enough due to an inherent belief that my dad is the top of my world and I would have to be like him to succeed though fearing this because i did not like the way my dad conducts himself in his words and behaviors.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to attach the words accomplished, confident, strength, and courage to my dad and equally resist it because i don’t like my dad’s way of living.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself due to this belief that i have to be like my dad when i see, realize, and understand we are each walking our own individual processes here and I have the ability to direct myself in my best and within that i have free creative expression to do what I will, it’s all up to me and directed and defined by me.

When and as I see I am going into a form of self interest as ego wanting something or being driven to do something, I stop and breath, and realize I am activating my mind competition and so create chaos and instability in my world through play outs and timelines that will bring me back to the same point of self diminishment and feeling unworthy. I realize I have to walk the physical timeline of proving myself in my living that I am able to change myself into living words that are best for all and so best for me with the clear directive to walk myself change into a unique and individual expression that is boundless in the potentials of my abilities and creation.

I commit myself to walk the letting go of the desire to accomplish and succeed and walk the living word process of creation and self change as I move myself into pursuits of my own creation that I direct and push in the purposes of what is best for all and expressing myself in new ways that work.

I commit myself to let go of the belief that i am unworthy as I see this is created from thoughts and thoughts do not define me as I am not defined by a belief, I am defined by my living in what i create here and for what purposes.

I commit myself to push myself into the new redefined word of competition in pushing my self creative process into more expansive ways to move this process to life further to support more and more and walk what is best for all.

I commit myself to let go of the relationship with my dad as my director in my life and put myself in that position in self responsibility to not only walk my process to life in the best of my ability but allow others to walk theres and realize i am not responsible for everyone making it, each one is that for themselves.

I commit myself to push myself to move beyond my limitations and support where I am able to though allow others to walk their own process as this is where self growth and empowerment is born.


For more on how to walk the process of becoming physical and doing what is best, check out the links below.

Earth Haven - Sustainable Living Environments -
Built on the Principles of What is best for all Life
https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4404004

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Self Supportive Material -
www.Eqafe.com

Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
www.facebook.com/groups/journ...






Sunday, February 5, 2017

Patriots are the Greatest in the World - Day 542




The super bowl champs are the patriots, and I have to say it was an incredible come back made by the patriots to win the game. Though as I was watching the game, I kept looking at the whole scenario that we are in a sense not wanting to face and see. We have become so brainwashed within ourselves, in our own minds, that we can not see the obvious of what is here. Imagine if we use what we see on the tv screen as the best of the best in this world as athletes, that drive, that passion, that physical prowess to support and assist all life here to live their highest potentials. Do you know how many tom bradys are out there? How many albert eistiens? How many Leonardo divincis? How many Beethoven's? How many Jesus’s or Ghandi? Can you imagine how much we could create if we were allowing every being on this planet to exist as they rightfully should being born on a planet with more then enough to create all we need here. Because as we know it means fuck all in the end who won what game, these games are a scheme to make a few people extremely rich, while the rings that are on the fingers of the big stars was harvested by a child who is a slave. The balls, jerseys, clothes, merchandise being sold for 100s of times more then what the person got paid to labor for them, and are being abused and living in extreme poverty. 

We think that we are such a great nation, a great country, though we are allowing the genocide of thousands of animal species and untold of human beings to happen at this very moment on the very same earth we all exist on. 

We are not an evolved race, we are not living at all in our highest potential, we are not great, we have accepted and allowed insanity to take over ourselves as we accept and allow this in our world. I will no longer accept and allow such a world to exist, we truly can be a great nation as a great world if we come together, realize that there is life on this planet that require basic support and rights to live in decency immediately, and if we do not walk such a path to give all basic rights and support to live in decency we will not make it. 


There are solutions and support to walk a process to change your awareness from self interest survival into life that is here in oneness and equality, and we are able to expand within who we are as our living world, supporting and assisting all life to live what is best for all. It’s time to stop pretending that we are great or evolved, and actually move ourselves to start to live this, this world is not an illusion, the tv screens are not our reality, what is here in this physical existence where people are suffering is what is real and they need help and support years ago. 


Let’s do our share and get real.


For more on how to walk the process of becoming physical and doing what is best, check out the links below.

Earth Haven - Sustainable Living Environments -
Built on the Principles of What is best for all Life
https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4404004

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Self Supportive Material -
www.Eqafe.com

Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Eqafe Hangout: Atlanteans - The First Encounter with Anu - Day 541





My Guest: Marlen Vargas Del Razo


"In this Twenty-first interview, the Atlantean-female shares the First Moment/First Contact with Anu’s Presence within Atlantis and how the Atlanteans experienced that first moment of contact with Anu’s presence, as well as sharing why and how the Atlanteans were not Aware of what Anu was in the process of doing as Enslaving existence and only became aware of it when it was too late…"

https://eqafe.com/p/atlanteans-the-first-encounter-with-anu-part-21

In this live hangout event, Marlen and I will be discussing the above interview from Eqafe.com. We will discuss our history, the races that existed before humans and earth existed, and yes you read that right, we will be discussing pre-human existence as it was in the interdimensional existence of this universe. Who was Anu, and how we did he become God of this world/existence.

Also, our personal realizations within this recording through different understandings that came through, we are much more then we ever thought possible, this a discussion and glimpse to what is really here as ourselves.

This all for the creation and building of human beings becoming stewards of the earth, where we create a world that gives dignity and decency to all life through our self responsibility to stand as solutions and do what is best for all.

Links to Check Out Mentioned In Hangout:
A Chat with Sunette Spies: The Interdimensional Portal from Eqafe

Eqafe Site
http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support:
http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Not Wanting to Compromise - Day 540



Here i am seeing a pattern I have walked with people in my life that has been consequential where for myself, I have become less adapt at moving in my enviroment. I am seeing this restriction in lets say the flow of who I am is based on not wanting to compromise or more cooperate with what is here, the physical reality. The principles are clear in what makes for a harmonious reality, which is live in what is best for all, considered all things and keep what is good, stand in the shoes of another as the other is equal to self, and do onto another as how you would want to be treated, though I have to live these principles to in fact stand as them.

For myself not compromising or not cooperating with reality where i do not live these principles above, I am essentially defying reality, not moving in a way that is supportive of this physical reality and so everything in it, which in a logical way doesn’t make sense. Now if I pull this out in lets say a global context, where I walk a self interested path of not cooperating and so not standing within the principles I shared above of what is best for all, I could be responsible for the harm of many. For example, say my job was to add filters to all the water pipes in the world, that will filter out the deadly bacteria that resides in this water, once it goes through these filters, the water is pure and all who drink are well. I have to change these filters three times a year to keep everyone in the world getting access to clean water.

Now this is a lot of responsibility, and this work is routine and boring to me, I am having these emotions come up, I want to quit, I am so bored, though I know if I miss a filter change, I am going to cause many to die due to the bacteria leaking in to the pure water. What do I do?

Here what would the common sense dictate, I have redefined the word sense to be the physical and common to be what is best for all, so here common sense is what is best for all in this physical reality. And obviously what is best is keep everyone healthy and harm free as this is what I would want for myself, fulfilling the principles of life, which is who we all are. Life being the physical as the physical is what is real, real is the reality we live in in each moment, what is actually happening direct, realtime, here, in the physical of ourselves and all around. So it’s simplistic in a way to understand all of this, though to live it is a different story.

Understand that each one is walking this process of realizing that our actions in reality have an effect on not only ourselves, but in fact on everyone we touch and beyond as those whom you touch go and touch others and so forth and so on. So for me to go into self interest and not stand in the shoes of another and do what is best for all, it’s like I am poisoning and killing myself as I infect my enviroment equally so with this self interest before the common good of all. We believe when we move in our enviroment, we do not have an effect on it, though observe children, they copy our every move and who do children grow up to be, the adults of this world, the world has never changed, why is this so, because we have never taught ourselves and so our children how to live in the physical, how to live within and as reality harmoniously, and how to live in life principles. We are living from a reality that is not real, which is from thinking and our minds, emotional states and reactions of self interest, trying to dominate reality, but common sense, this is impossible. We are in a day and age, where this is changing, we are now being asked by life as we ask ourselves, who are we as we see the death of billions every year because of not having access to basic human rights, this is our creation, it is time to take SELF Responsibility.

So it’s an understanding that when I do not want to compromise or cooperate with the physical reality I live in and support what is best for all, I will create equal to this, and the reality I live in will start to show this to me as I have realized many times already. Life is aware and everything existent within it, so we humans are not alone, we are PART of this reality not the dominator of it, it’s time to consider what we are creating and decide who self is within this and live. This is each one’s walk and path, who I am will determine my future, so I make it count. This is the path I am walking and I stand for and as life and nothing less then what is best. It is time, no more waiting. So let’s walk together, create together with the principles of life and so honor who we are as beings in what is our highest potentials.

This blog was inspired by these recordings:
Raising a Destonian Family - Desteni Farm Discussions
Raising a Destonian Family Part 2 - Desteni Farm Discussions

For more on how to walk the process of becoming physical and doing what is best, check out the links below.

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Self Supportive Material -
www.Eqafe.com

Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook:
www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Monday, December 19, 2016

As Within, So Without - War and Solutions with the Desteni I Process - Day 539





Here discussing how i personally have moved through images and videos with graphic and horrific images, where instead of going into anger, revolt, or disempowerment, I change myself to be able to stabilize myself and my mind to support with finding solutions. This to become an example to walk solutions in the world so war can come to an end, and we all stand as stewards of the earth. The desteni i process is an education of sorts that supports with this process of self change and world change.

Check out the links for more on the process at desteni:

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course - 

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!

Self Supportive Material - 

Forum support: 

Desteni Wiki: 

Eqafe Facebook Page: 

7 year journey to life Facebook group: 

DIP Lite on Facebook: 

Thursday, December 15, 2016

As Within, So Without - War and the Desteni I Process - Day 538




Here speaking on the principle of as within, so without, in relation to the creation and proliferation of war within our world. How have I changed my view on war and myself within walking the tools of the desteni i process, and what have I learned about human's active participation in war and how it relates to ourselves very intimately. There is a part two to this as well, which will be posted tomorrow.

Check out the links for more on the process at desteni:

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course - 

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!

Self Supportive Material - 

Forum support: 

Desteni Wiki: 

Eqafe Facebook Page: 

7 year journey to life Facebook group: 

DIP Lite on Facebook: 

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

My Birthday and the Desteni I Process - Day 537

 


Here I discuss how my living of birthdays have changed since walking the desteni i process, and it might not be what is expected. Have a listen and see how I have changed birthdays to help me become a more effective human being. This in the process of becoming stewards of the earth and creating a world where all Life stands within dignity and what is best.

Check out the links for more on the process at desteni:

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course - 

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!

Self Supportive Material - 

Forum support: 

Desteni Wiki: 

Eqafe Facebook Page: 

7 year journey to life Facebook group: 

DIP Lite on Facebook: