Sunday, January 11, 2015

Reoccurring Nightmare: Being Chased – Day 445



So over my years of being on this planet and especially into my adulthood years I have had a reoccurring themed nightmare of being chased by people, usually like a movie seen, guys with guns or some sort of vengeance out to hurt me, well that is what it feels like anyway. And tonight, I also finished the transcription to the Future of Consciousness recording done on eqafe about Nightmares, and I suggest anyone who wants in in-depth understanding of where nightmares come from and why we have them, to check this one out. So for me, I want to investigate this reoccurring nightmare I have been having, within the dream, I am scared, I am afraid of being caught by these people chasing me and being harmed. So the energy existing within me in the dream is fear and anxiety fueled by people trying to harm me, and me always in a constant state of tension and stress to get away from them. Obviously, these people in my dream want something from me and they'll stop at nothing to get it, and so I have to run and become exhausted to get to a point of safety, though this safety is never permanent because I am always on the look out for these people and always in a state of being ready to run if I need to.

So the energy I am working with is – anxiety, fear, and stress based on being chased and not knowing what will happen in the future. Stress due to the fact of possibly being caught and being harmed, and having beliefs about the people that they will harm me, I am in great danger, and I can not relax in my own space, I am always needing to be on guard and looking out for threats against my life by people out there, the bad people in this world.

I can see this pattern of running from people aligning with the self judgment pattern I have been walking, I have this fear of people that I need to be on the look out, I am always in a state of tension because I believe people are out to harm me, and they will do so at anytime. I am afraid of being harmed by people and so the fear is perpetuated in my external reality because I fear people, I don’t understand them, I don’t really get to know them, I just straight out follow my reaction of fearing them and believing they will harm me. This causes me never really to be able to relax in my own skin because I am always tense and stressed about what others will do to me and this is based on my own self judgments I have created against myself, that I am inferior and people will harm me and take advantage of me due to me not being 100 percent perfect within myself where I judge myself as not as attractive as others and not as intelligent.

This also has developed into many forms of reactions within myself towards others in my day to day living, so the feeling of being chased is the experience I am doing to myself of not facing myself in my own reality. Allowing these fears and beliefs about who I am chase me around day in and day out, allowing projections to direct me, allowing energy to overtake me, and not standing within these moments and saying no to here no further, and walking the process to face myself and stop. So I have just been allowing myself to torture myself into this cat and mouse game of waiting for the next judgment, waiting for the next energy burst of emotion, and waiting for the next bout of depression because I believe I am being harmed by others and people are out to get me. When all the while I have been harming myself and chasing myself into a circle of self compromise through judging myself. Time to stop this once and for all, and forgive myself and release myself from this nightmare scenario. 

More to come in my next blog, thanks for reading.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Business Fears – Fear of Not Making the Sale – Day 444



So here I am looking at a fear of not making a sale due to the fact that I have yet to make a sale in my business venture that I am walking. This fear is more due to a future projection because when I look at this fear it’s based on the fact that I am uncertain of what making a sale will look like or be like. I have yet to do a presentation for people, so I am new and fresh at becoming a sales women. I within myself want to go into judgment and strife about what I haven’t done yet and what others are doing that I am not, and go into the fear of never making the sale.

Though this is, if I look at it realistically and within reason, not supportive and not measuring the facts of what is here, that I am new to this business and will have to walk the steps to accumulate the creation of selling my product through testing points and adjusting myself as I progress. So I have to walk the talk so to speak and this is where I find lies the true nature of this fear, fearing that I will not walk the steps necessary to ensure I give my business and myself every potential opportunity I am able to to in fact make the sale and become successful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not making a sale within the business that I am walking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a future projection of making a sale or not within walking the business plan that I have committed myself to walk and execute.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the potential of facing new people and new faces and being rejected within them in harsh or deliberate ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing rejection when I am putting myself out in front of others to make a decision of acceptance or rejection. I realize, see, and understand that within this decision rejection is an option that will likely come up often and that I am not defined by this decision, but by who I am within the action each and every moment I walk my business regardless of what I face or who I face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by rejection as if this defines who I am as a being and see, realize, and understand that it is a fact of the business and life based on the practical consideration of other beings and if it is necessary or not to have this product in their life (though it is lol necessary for all to have this product in their lives).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear rejection instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that it holds a gift and opportunity to grow within understanding myself in the product I am selling and understanding from other’s perspective information that otherwise I would not have been privy to about myself within selling the product to them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see rejection within not making a sale as a negative point within myself such as I failed instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding it is a key to understanding how to become successful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become emotionally driven based on rejection instead of seeing and understanding and realizing that it really is as a point of reference to where the product or myself require consideration within an adjustment or correction within what is being lived at that time and how I am selling myself as the product.

When and as I see I am going into a point of fearing rejection and fearing not making a sale, I stop and breath, and realize that I am going into emotion instead of breathing and grounding myself into reality in the facts that there is something within myself that is needing to be looked at and considered more close for adjustment or correction if this point of rejection is coming up in this moment. I realize rejection is not personal nor defining who I am and so I commit myself to use it as a gift to understand myself better and so become a better saleswomen.

I commit myself to let go of the attachment of failure as negative emotional energy to being rejected through breathing and standing by myself through moving forward.

I commit myself to find the gift within the rejection by understanding what needs to be consider to make myself better.

I commit myself to walk the steps to improve and correct myself within what I see and other’s see through rejection that is not working so to speak.

I commit myself to walk the talk and push myself to expand myself each and every time rejection occurs.

I commit myself to not take rejection personal and see it as a gift to reach success and part of the process to in fact become a success as who I am within what I do.

Exclusive Recording and Training to support with Building a Business Self:
Creating the Business Mind - The Soul of Money
Building Your Business - The Soul of Money
Building Your Business (Part 2) - The Soul of Money
Business Resolve - The Soul of Money
Time = Money - The Soul of Money
Taking Your Emotions out of Your Business - The Soul of Money
Moving Your Staff and Your Business Forward - The Soul of Money
Guilty Rich - The Soul of Money
Lead as an Example in Your Business - The Soul of Money
Starting a New Business - The Soul of Money
Working for a Business Vs the Business Working for You - The Soul of Money


Check Out these Awesome and Life Supporting sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Business Fears- Fear of Failure – Day 443




I am currently walking as a women starting my own business, and obviously within what has been discussed and seen within the business world in this type of venture it is not something one can take half-heartedly. I have been in business working for others for many years, though working for myself and working as the responsible party with my partner for the success of the business is something that I am new to. So it was suggested to within starting on this venture to write out my fears, at least 20, and walk the self forgiveness and self correction in relation to them. So in the next blog series, I will be walking this point through to walk through my fears within walking a new business post by post.

My first fear, fearing the failure of the business, is something that when I look at it within myself is not terribly intense, though with this confidence I realize underneath there is hints of fear, hints of trepidation, and so with this realization though subtle will be the first one I will forgive as this fear will undermine and contaminate a lot of my actions to come if it is allowed to continue to drive me on a subconscious or unconscious level.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the failure of my business.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the business will fail and I will be seen by others as a failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed external influences such as other's judgments or words have an effect on who I am within myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the experience within myself of regret and guilt if I fail at the business that I set out to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to be afraid of energy as guilt and regret which I realize is too be faced and let go of based on letting go of and not participating within the fear of not succeeding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept fear as an external force to drive me into experiencing myself as depressed and saddened when I realize, see, and understand that this fear doesn’t in fact exist within reality and that within myself I have the will and the realizations to move the business as I move myself within the business.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved by fear and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project myself into a failure belief of my future being generated by the fear energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to become a failure at what I do instead of standing within each moment and making the best of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be then driven by success.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into my mind and desire to be successful and think about what that will look like and be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an expectation of success and so within that create the fear of this not coming into fruititoin.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live from a polarity of fear of failure and desire for success instead of staying grounded within each day and each moment to build myself day by day to accumulate myself in the way in which I see myself walking my goals to accumulate value for my life through in fact living it day by day, creating it as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be driven by energy of fear/desire instead of realizing that I am the key to my own success based on who I am in each moment and what I walk.

When and as I see myself going into fear of failure, I stop and breath, and check and see where have I participated in thoughts of desire. I stop and breath, and realize that success will come when I live it as myself. I realize I accumulate my own value and what and how I live will determine my business and it’s fruitfulness.

I commit myself to let go of the fear/desire polarity for my business and breath to stabilize self.

I commit myself to walk the steps of success through walking the practical steps this will take day by day in consistency.

I commit myself to walk the necessary steps within learning, understanding, and living my business plan and execution within all moments to walk the potential for success the best I am able to.

I commit myself to give my business and the principles I stand as within and through myself as my business the best of my ability.


I commit myself to let go and breath through the thoughts of failure/success and live the change, live the action, live the steps that I see will bring success.

I commit myself to stand as a pillar of courage as I walk and strengthen my self integrity through pushing my limits and boundaries and always seek to expand my horizon's in the consideration of what is best for all always in all ventures I take on. 

Exclusive Recording and Training to support with Building a Business Self:
Creating the Business Mind - The Soul of Money
Building Your Business - The Soul of Money
Building Your Business (Part 2) - The Soul of Money
Business Resolve - The Soul of Money
Time = Money - The Soul of Money
Taking Your Emotions out of Your Business - The Soul of Money
Moving Your Staff and Your Business Forward - The Soul of Money
Guilty Rich - The Soul of Money
Lead as an Example in Your Business - The Soul of Money
Starting a New Business - The Soul of Money
Working for a Business Vs the Business Working for You - The Soul of Money

Check Out these Awesome and Life Supporting sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network

Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Update: How I Have Been Letting Go of Self Judgment - Day 442




Updating on my process of letting go of self judgment, this I have walked in many blogs and vlogs. Thanks.

"Here I speak on some points on how I have started to walk the self judgment of myself to a point of letting it go. What tools and support have I used to help identify and let go of these triggers that send me in the downward spiral of the consequences of judging myself? And how I am continuing to walk this transcendence of living with self compromise to become a self directed human being?"


Some Blogs I have written on self judgment:
Day 281 – Self Judgment – The Point I don’t Want to Face
Day 282 – Self Judgment – Fueling the Imprisonment of Self as the Mind
Day 283 – Self Judgment – Judging My Physical – The ‘Flawed’ Eye
Day 284 – Self Judgment – Judging My Physical – The ‘Flawed’ Eye – Self Commitments to Live – Part 1

Check Out these Awesome and Life Supporting sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Stubbornness: What am I making more difficult then it has to be? Day 441



So tonight I listened to the second recording of the very supportive series from eqafe about stubbornness, and in this discussion they spoke about some key points that I found helpful, one being that when taking on the mind within the process being walked in these journey to life blogs as well as the desteni group in general, is we have to take on all parts of our mind that are coming up equally ensuring all parts are considered and taken on with equal capacity. I found this important to look into for myself because I to have seen myself go into a form of ‘favoring’ some parts of my mind I would like to change, where other parts of myself I chose to look the other way or push it to the future because facing them seems way to difficult and other excuses are used like I am not ready yet.

This has now come to the point where I have walked quite a bit within my mind and have made some progress on myself, though I see other parts of my world where I am still tending to make my life more difficult by resisting the points that are intense and serving the mind through following it rather then serving myself as life and directing my life in a way that is best for all. I have had enough with a specific point that I have been now walking over a few years and it still has had power over me, this point being the judgment of my physical body. I have made this process more difficult then it needs to be because I have allowed my thoughts to take over and the energy that goes with these thoughts overwhelm me rather than living here in my physical body and stopping myself through breath. I have proven to myself that I am able to do this in other points I have stopped, showing that I am able to do in all points of my mind as the tools and the principles as well as the living application remains the same. 

Another point that I have also found which had contributed to making my process more difficult is that I had started to write less and less and within doing this my application and effectiveness was becoming less and less. I realized what I was doing on some level was just living out the resistances I had already participated in my mind and now was manifesting into my reality as feeling lethargic and depressed, and so had no energy or desire to move myself. All a consequence of continuing to exist in the self defeatist thoughts and the energies of despair and resentment.  I made excuses and justification overpower my actual will to stop, and because I was not supporting myself with the tools that have always been available, I was not making progress on these points and so empowering the mind more then my living self.

And of course this had consequence in my world and reality, where I became more reclusive then open and comfortable with others, where I would become more reactive and take things personal rather than stable and understanding, and where I would go into deep emotional highs and lows and not stand effective in my application of change that I had set out for myself to do. So I realized that if I do not support myself with the tools that are available, the writing of self forgiveness and self correction and then living the change, I would fall more and more into the mind. The tools being the key for the walking of this process as doing it alone or going about it in resistance and giving into the resistance makes this process much more difficult then it needs to be and so the living of my life much more difficult then it needs to be.


Pushing through resistances in all forms and keeping consistent in the application of the basics as they are called and as I wrote above, is the support structure in place to support life to birth ourselves into the physical, back to what is real, back to who we really are, and allowing the stubbornness experience to continue in this way of making my process and my life more difficult is just plain stupid. So I will continue on with this point in my next blog and implement self forgiveness and self commitments to ensure my application of consistency and stability remains steadfast as I remain here walking breath by breath. Thanks for reading.

Interview Support on the topic of Stubbornness:
Stubbornness: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 154
Stubbornness: Overcoming - Atlanteans - Part 155
Stubbornness: Practical Application - Atlanteans - Part 156
Stubbornness: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 157
Stubbornness: Redesigning - Atlanteans - Part 158
Physical Sound - Atlanteans - Part 159
The Consequences of Speaking - Atlanteans - Part 160
Stubbornness: Independence, Dependence, Interdependence - Atlanteans - Part 161

Check Out these Awesome and Life Supporting sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Monday, December 22, 2014

Stubbornness: How am I creating this within myself? – Day 440



I listened to the first interview in the Atlantean’s series on the construct of stubbornness that I have placed on the bottom of this blog, it was on the understanding of how stubbornness is created within us, and how it effects our lives within ourselves and with other people. Some insightful take aways that I realized is that to go into stubbornness is a form of serving the mind because I am allowing the experience of ‘I can do things alone’ for instance hinder my opportunity to gain assistance and support from other people in my world. I often go into this experience where I don’t want to be helped or supported by another and use stubbornness to not have to engage with others so I can protect my mind, my fears, and my self belief that I have things under control.

Realizing that within this fear and belief of myself I am compromising my self development as well as potentially harming my physical body by not considering if I really do need help or not, but just become driven by fear and the desire to have things my way. The fear being that I will come to a point with another where I will be challenged, and through that challenge I could potentially fall or fail and so be vulnerable by others to judge me or attack me. I fear this based on the fact that within myself I have judged and attacked others for falling or failing in some way or another. So because I do that within my backchat towards others, I will hold back and shy away from allowing other people into my world to support me and thus expand myself into situations where I will be challenged and tested on who I am, thus stunting and compromising myself.

Stubbornness is the experience within myself I use to continue to exist within this pattern, I have seen it many times come up in my current relationship with my partner, where I do not want to face the fact that I am in fear and so rather then taking responsibility, will attack and go into a form of stubbornness in not having to face myself in the request of my partner to do something I am uncomfortable with.

So this is a cool point to understand for myself and show that when I start to see this point of wanting to be alone, resisting getting support from others, and not walking the tools that are here on a consistent basis to move myself through points that are consequential, I then can move and implement the changes I construct to stop this pattern from taking over and serve myself as life and walk the process to align with life here in the physical as I move myself here in the self correction process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that who I am within and as stubbornness is creating a form of servancy to the mind as the enslavement of life by compromising my potential to expand and grow with other’s support through resisting it and wanting to do things on my own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that who I am being within myself in these moments where I go into the stubbornness of not wanting to hear or receive support from other’s is someone who is pushing against the grain, pushing and resisting other people and their words, and creating consequence that is harmful and destructive to the opportunity that is here to build relationships with others as a point of living and implementing oneness and equality in who I am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within this experience of stubbornness go into hiding the fact from myself that I am in fear of facing challenges that I will surely face with others where I don’t know what will come and so what I will need to do or have in place to get through it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into sturbbornness and essentially dilude my abilities here to change who I am to become more skilled, learn more, engage more, and so expand more with others because of this fear of failing or being judged by others for messing up.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let go of the fear of being judged or failing at something as I realize, see, and understand within falling or failing in something you are given a gift of seeing who you are and how you can change through the miss-take to perfect that point in the trys ahead and so slowly become more specified in my application and push myself beyond my limits and expand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to engage in judgment and making fun and rejecting others who have fallen or messed up or failed in something to then make myself feel more important, though realizing this just creates the entrapment within the cycle of fear of movement as I myself will then fear what I have created with others, continuing the cycle of harm and abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse others when they have taken a miss-take and used there hardship for my gain in self interest to feel good or positive about myself cause I wasn’t the one who failed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use another being for my personal gain instead of standing equal to another and realizing they are me in another pair of shoes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the form of stubbornness to not have to face myself in real time with challenges and can escape into myself and the comfort of my own habits by myself only answering to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking responsibility for myself and so for others when I have to face challenges in my life and so use stubbornness to not have to move myself beyond my fears and limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing me here in reality and so I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand I have created the now manifesting consequences in the physical, and so I have to walk through and face these consequences once and for all and so stop postponing my process of change and so the process of changing life into a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the experience of stubbornness to postpone the inevitable of facing myself here in reality and changing to be a being of correction of self integrity and creating solutions that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue waiting and postponing for myself and so use stubbornness to hide within and escape for a time period that will end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste time and not move beyond my limitations as stubbornness and expand myself in the potential that I see is possible.

When and as I see I am going into a form of postponement or stubbornness within the act of avoiding facing myself, I stop and breath, and realize this will only prolong the inevitable of having to change myself here or in the hereafter, I will face myself, I realize I have all the tools and the will and the ability to walk it here on earth where it counts.

I commit myself to breath when I see the experience of stubbornness comes up to not move myself and physically move myself to go into the physical opportunity that is here to face myself and change.

I commit myself to face my fears and move myself in physical reality beyond my limitations and boundaries through breath.

I commit myself to use the tools as much as I am able to to ensure I walk all the points necessary and continue to move forward in my process of self creation.

I commit myself to stop allowing abdication of my responsibility through hiding in stubbornness by taking on more projects with others and becoming more social.

I commit myself to push my communication with others and push through the experience to do things on my own and go into my comfort zone.


I commit myself to stop escaping reality into my mind as comfort zones and always push myself into the uncomfortableness of reality as myself as I realize this is where change is for the best.


Interview Support on the topic of Stubbornness:
Stubbornness: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 154
Stubbornness: Overcoming - Atlanteans - Part 155
Stubbornness: Practical Application - Atlanteans - Part 156
Stubbornness: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 157
Stubbornness: Redesigning - Atlanteans - Part 158
Physical Sound - Atlanteans - Part 159
The Consequences of Speaking - Atlanteans - Part 160
Stubbornness: Independence, Dependence, Interdependence - Atlanteans - Part 161


Check Out these Awesome and Life Supporting sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site