Living the Word Freedom - Redefined - Day 555

Freedom

Current Allocation:

Freedom is something i desire but believe it’s out of reach for my life in this world. There is a yearning for freedom, like i know it’s there, it’s somewhere, it’s possible, yet it does not seem as if it ever will be reached without great effort and inner and outer change. Freedom also is represented in my mind through flags and fireworks and parades, where it’s symbolized based on holiday parties and festivities ingrained over my life time in my country that my family and friends very much participated in and some in the patriotism of it. I myself felt uncomfortable with the country’s freedom as i know that to get this so called freedom, war was involved thus to me showing that this is not real freedom, and that we will always be enslaved to this mindset that there is some enemy out there and we need to dominate or win to become free. Yet this same dominance and winning status is always under threat and always able to be destroyed through conflict, abuse, and thus suffering. Suffering and freedom to me were counter-intuitive thus counter-productive and essentially made no sense, so my relationship with the word freedom is as if it is a catch phrase, not real, and that those who follow this are insane or just brainwashed and not able to see clearly what makes sense and what doesn’t. I am also seeing anger within me towards the holiday of supposed freedom we celebrate and those who don’t question, yet, i see that this is my own reaction within me of a desire to want to be free for real right now. Though i see it is not yet possible and so i go and blame everyone else when i see, realize, and understand I was equally within that group to such a possessed degree due to culture and it’ll take a process of understanding, support, self forgiveness, and self correction to change the way the world as self lives freedom within and without.

Dictionary Definition:

free·dom

ˈfrēdəm/Submit

noun

1) the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.

"we do have some freedom of choice"

2) absence of subjection to foreign domination or despotic government.

"he was a champion of Irish freedom"

synonyms: independence, self-government, self-determination, self-rule, home rule,

3) sovereignty, nonalignment, autonomy; democracy

"revolution was the only path to freedom”

4) the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved.

Etymology:

freedom (n.) Look up freedom at Dictionary.com

Old English freodom "power of self-determination, state of free will; emancipation from slavery, deliverance;" see free (adj.) + -dom. Meaning "exemption from arbitrary or despotic control, civil liberty" is from late 14c. Meaning "possession of particular privileges" is from 1570s. Similar formation in Old Frisian fridom, Dutch vrijdom, Middle Low German vridom. Freedom-rider recorded 1961 in reference to civil rights activists in U.S. trying to integrate bus lines.

It has been said by some physicians, that life is a forced state. The same may be said of freedom. It requires efforts, it presupposes mental and moral qualities of a high order to be generally diffused in the society where it exists. [John C. Calhoun, speech, U.S. House of Representatives, Jan. 31, 1816]

Freedom fighter attested by 1903 (originally with reference to Cuba). Freedom-loving (adj.) is from 1841.

Word Play:

Free-dumb, free-doom, free-dome, free = fear removed

Negative Placement:

Here i see that within myself there is a long path to become free and also a free world where life is able to co-exist and sustain itself as each one individual sustains themselves. So there is a fear here, fear of not having it, and thus more and more being removed from creating it as fear is not free, but the restriction of freedom. So bringing through a degree of stress, anxiety, and claustrophobia within the thought of if ever real freedom will be lived and what comes up within me is this world system, the enslavement of man over everything and everyone into destruction.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear that freedom is inaccessible within myself and this world as i go into the idea that freedom is impossible to reach.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look for freedom out in the world system, outside of myself, where i need to attain or reach something to become or get freedom.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe freedom is impossible to live within and as my self and so this world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the living word of freedom within myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to project freedom onto the way our system is set up at the moment and believe that it’s never going to be doable with all the abuse as enslavement that is existing here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame the world system and the people in the world system as the fault to why freedom is not able to be lived instead of bringing the point back to myself and seeing where in fact i am enslaving and limiting myself within my own self imposed ideas, beliefs, and judgments.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge and create ideas and beliefs about the way in which this world and within myself need to live instead of moving within the freedom of my own expression and through this working with what is here as it is here within the creative mobility that exist within any given moment as i create myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to place freedom as an idea within my mind rather then a living word to be physically lived and created and so in this idea move into disempowerment within myself because it seems unattainable.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that the function of myself and this world in this moment is not how it will always be and thus potential for growth and change is always here.

I commit myself to release the ideas, beliefs, and judgments of my expression in a moment and allow the expression of what is here as myself become free from limitations and expand within and through who i am as i create myself with what is here.

I commit myself to go into releasing the separation between who i am as the living word freedom moving into a flow of myself in any given moment taking responsibility for who i am and expanding through the support of this word as i move out of the dome of my limitations and exist here free as my fear is removed and i breath and live with and as reality.

Postitive Placement:

On the positive feeling side, I am seeing the word free is very light and electric feeling, like the potential for the best of life is possible within this world and it makes me feel airy and nice inside. There is an inkling of possibility, oh yes like a hope, and here i can see the complacency that settles into my mind and thus my physical where there is no real action of changing self and becoming self responsible through words and living. Thus the idea is nice to think about and ponder in my imagination of how great it’ll be or could be, yet all the while not actually really creating freedom within myself by living as it and so freedom does not yet actually exist cause it stops at the thinking stage because the energy fades and then I get hit with reality and it’s too much work/effort.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to move into a point of self desire as a dream state of what freedom would look like or feel like as i go imagining in my mind what this will look like or feel like, never actually making significant change to who i am in the physical as my words and living.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a hope of freedom coming one day if this and this and this works out and if i do this and this and this thing in the future soon to come, yet within my actual physical movement there is no significant change as i am spending my time dreaming about freedom and what i could and will be doing instead of actually living it.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become complacent within myself with the imaginations of life in a free world and how awesome that would be tailoring it up with different technology and how humans will co-exist with animals and within this waste time and resources on mind generation and not self creation.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to my addictions as positive energy such as lust for a place of peace and freedom, or excitement in the thought of what a world would look and feel like, or the happiness feeling when i see in my mind’s eye all the animals and humans getting along, and within that be fulfilled as the energy releases and i stop actually moving in the physical and changing myself because i have accepted and allowed myself to get off on energy addiction in these imagination feelings that get created thus disempowering me to move myself and limiting my potential to live and become substantial and so do nothing of real value which supports all life.

I commit myself to move into the living words ‘i matter’ as i ground myself into the physical letting go of the imagination thoughts and create myself as matter within how i live in every moment to create real value as i move myself in the physical in what will be best for all life.

I commit myself to live words such as self creation and consistency as i move from my mind illusions into my physical living and letting go of the complacent addiction to go into hope and desire thus not actual do anything to change what is here within and without.

I commit myself to life the word freedom as i release myself from the addictive thought patterns of positive feelings and move into the solidity of my physical living, expanding myself through my limited beliefs and ideas and imaginations and creating myself in a real substantial way that will eventually create all life to be free to express here as the will themselves as all align as i live for myself in what is best for all life.

Re-Defining the Word Freedom:

The direct definition I see for the word freedom is to become free from the dome that is my mind as the limitations within fear i have accepted and allowed to hold me back from living as my creative expression in every moment. Freedom is the removal of fear as i will myself to be free beyond my limitations that is currently existing as my mind consciousness system programs and constructs holding me back from being me and who i am in any given moment as a self created being in what’s best. Freedom is what is beyond the limitations of self imposed mind systems and self live free from fear here.

For more on how to walk the process of becoming physical and doing what is best, check out the links below.

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Living Words Process and Support:
https://www.facebook.com/schoolofultimateliving/

Earth Haven - Sustainable Living Environments -
Built on the Principles of What is best for all Life
https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4404004

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Self Supportive Material -
www.Eqafe.com

Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

Eqafe Hangout: Atlanteans - The First Encounter with Anu - Day 541

My Guest: Marlen Vargas Del Razo


"In this Twenty-first interview, the Atlantean-female shares the First Moment/First Contact with Anu’s Presence within Atlantis and how the Atlanteans experienced that first moment of contact with Anu’s presence, as well as sharing why and how the Atlanteans were not Aware of what Anu was in the process of doing as Enslaving existence and only became aware of it when it was too late…"

https://eqafe.com/p/atlanteans-the-first-encounter-with-anu-part-21

In this live hangout event, Marlen and I will be discussing the above interview from Eqafe.com. We will discuss our history, the races that existed before humans and earth existed, and yes you read that right, we will be discussing pre-human existence as it was in the interdimensional existence of this universe. Who was Anu, and how we did he become God of this world/existence.

Also, our personal realizations within this recording through different understandings that came through, we are much more then we ever thought possible, this a discussion and glimpse to what is really here as ourselves.

This all for the creation and building of human beings becoming stewards of the earth, where we create a world that gives dignity and decency to all life through our self responsibility to stand as solutions and do what is best for all.

Links to Check Out Mentioned In Hangout:
A Chat with Sunette Spies: The Interdimensional Portal from Eqafe

Eqafe Site
http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support:
http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Review - An Education of the Universe and our Existence - Day 532

I am someone who listens to everything that comes out of eqafe, I find this information is like the nectar of a flower as myself as the emerging bee coming in for some sustenance, it is for sure a self sustaining and substantial gift that has been given to life here on earth. Here is an education from the universe, an existential education of ourselves from ourselves, so imagine who we really are? We are much more then what we have ever dreamed up, said some insightful philosopher and this is true. I have learned so much about myself in this site and also  I have applied the tools and practical support that continues to be shared to change myself to be a better human being. It is suggested to investigate EVERYTHING and keep what is GOOD. And indeed do so, and for sure investigate this site. I suggest move through any reactions or judgments, and apply the tools for yourself if anything comes up to the contrary. It is worth it and it will be such a joy, not always as it is also serious work, but its an expansion of self that we all long for as we are indeed creators.

One specific interview I wanted to share is from an interview by Anu and Joe done recently, called The Decision is Mine - Reptillians - Part 549. This interview shared about blame and how blame is a fallacy we each make up in our minds to not actually face the real issue of the problem, and that is ourselves. We all have done it where we make it about every one else, we are so justified, we are so right, and they are so WRONG, though again it you take a look within self and take a step back, a breath, and become self honest, you will see that there was an equal responsibility within oneself to stop, to let go, and to find solutions. 

When we go to blame another person, we immediately in that moment disempower ourselves to change and so find a solution. I have walked this process many times and know for myself that this is so, when I go into blame, there is a deep gut feeling where I know the truth, I equally contributed to the problem or consequence and so it is not about the other, it is about who i am and how am I going to live in this moment? This if you are new to this site will take a process of moving through because we have trained ourselves with such authority that blame is valid, that we are not responsible, and we can just get away with walking away and justifying perpetuating problems in this world rather then standing in integrity and finding solutions. It’s a process, there will be many ups and downs, many falls, though we get back up and keep pushing for solutions always cause that is what life does and we are life in our highest potentials. 

One amazing support that came through this interview was where Anu shared about how a participant of this process found an awesome way to move through the blame and get to solutions for themselves, and it’s a simple equation. The equation is to when you go into the blame, take a step back, breath, and then move into the breath, from there find the fear that is hidden behind the blame. I have tested this and practiced it, and I found that when you are able to drop the blame, you will see that there is a fear being masked by the blame, a fear of rejection, a fear of loss, or a fear of lack for instance though I found it will be very specific, like for me I had one recently which was a fear of remaining stuck in a situation. From here once you find the fear, you are already establishing your responsibility to yourself and the other, and so your self authority can be walked with the self forgiveness and finding a solution. Self forgiveness is a tool in the desteni i process that supports with self change to live our highest potentials in this life, there is much more on this in these sites so please check the links. Though for this point, letting go of the blame, dropping it and finding the fear behind it, I have found saved me so much time, energy, and consequences as I bypassed all the reactions and thoughts in my head of blame/anger/emotion and could start living the solution immediately. 

This support shared in the above interview has already supported me immensely and again has saved me much hardship and self compromise, so I highly suggest a listen as well as checking out more of this universal and existential eduction on Us as life on the eqafe site. Enjoy and thanks for reading. 

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com


Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
www.schoolofultimateliving.com/


Self Supportive Material -
www.Eqafe.com


Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org


Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page


Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...


7 year journey to life Facebook group:
www.facebook.com/groups/journ...


DIP Lite on Facebook:


www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Starting to Investigate My Relationship with People – Day 420

Visit the Artist's blog: Andrew Gable

My relationship with people over the years has been shaky at best, I have always had a feeling of separation with others, I always felt that I had to get into a certain state within myself to be around people, like it took energy and effort to be with others, it was not easy and only enjoyable once I found my place. I always was looking for my place, I was always in fear of where to find it, how to get there, if I was going to be accepted, and would it last. So there was a lot of factors I was creating to even approach people and figure out how to continue to stay with them and how in fact was I able to do that. Because there was no manual on how to be friends with or exist with other humans, it was all kind of just there when I came of age and realized that being with other humans was not a walk in the park, it was going to take dedication and effort to make it work.

So the issue I was having over the years of not wanting to be with others was when I was bullied in school, and found out that not everyone likes me, not everyone is friendly, and this world isn’t so nice and great as I believed it was as a child being rather innocent to the harshness that is existent here. I started to develop fears about my body image and what I had and didn’t have compared to other kids. I started to realize that money was important and that buying the things to keep up with the other people I knew was needed to be able to continue to play in the social games of making it with groups. So once I started being bullied, I suppressed myself quite a lot, I would not do or say anything to instigate those that were calling me names as the emotional feelings within this were extreme. I can see and will be opening up the construct of being a bully and being bullied as a play out of the way in which we have designed our world and designed our relationships with each other based on the belief that this is what it takes to survive and this is how human nature is and this is how it’s always been. How existing within starting points such as these is in a way giving up on oneself and life to live in a way that is more abusive and existing within self interest alone that has been consequential as we see with the world and our relationships within it from children up into the world system., nothing really changes, just the dynamics and contexts do, we are still bullying each other and creating conflict with no real effort and dedication to find solutions.

So I was starting to develop my mind through what I valued within others based on things such as beauty, wealth, and personality and I myself started to based who I was on comparing and competing with others through these ideas of value I had created. This then created more and more separation with people in my world, being this way where I am basing who I am on very superficial ideas was not very fulfilling, I started to more and more dislike being around people and having to keep up these appearances and ideas of myself that in reality did not match. Over time my paranoia increased on how others thought, judged, and/or perceived me, I started to more and more alienate myself from meeting new people and pushing myself more and more in the belief that all people are fuck ups and I can not trust anyone.

I realized though overtime and through the desteni process that I engaged in some years ago that I have created the state in which I am existing within in this moment, I thought the thoughts, I created the beliefs, I judge myself and others, I abused and created competition with others, I am responsible for the way I have designed and created myself in this moment. I can not point fingers at any other person, place, or thing because in the end this is disempowering myself to ever create the change that I am capable of to become a human being that is trustworthy and self directed. Not living off of needs or wants, but through principles that support life and so will always support me by implementing and solidifying them through my living over time proven through time in the physical. Each one has to find the will and forgive themselves for who we have become and what we have done in the past, and again embrace each other and support each other as we have done for ourselves. Humbleness is key for such an endeavor of self purification and supporting life in this way.

So for the next blogs to come I want to investigate and understand more of who I am in communication and relationship with others, and how I can live the words humbleness and friendliness in a way that supports myself and others to become the best we can be.

More to come in my next blogs, thanks for reading.

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
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• 403. How to Stop Living in Defense Mode
• The Desteni Group and the Journey to Integrity: DAY 226
• Self-Respect for The Physical Body: DAY 269
• Day 434: Deleting the 'Mean' from the 'Meaning of Consequence'
• Day 436: Suppressing In Fear of Expressing

Day 128- Justification Character – as Self Manipulation

Here looking at the justification character, where in I actually use self manipulation as justification to not have to stand up and face my fears that I am currently facing in terms of transcending my programming within the mind consciousness system that has been resisted through accepting this fear as myself. The fear is not in fact real as it comes from the mind, and thus is evidence that I am creating my own fear as I can only create the fear through my own mind, so thus justifying the fear and self manipulation to stay in this fear, through accepting my mind to direct me here in this physical reality through my physical body.

How do I justify myself is through accepting and allowing thoughts of self diminishment and self compromise, such as ‘you can’t do that, you’ll be seen as a fool’ or ‘your not smart enough, don’t even bother’ or ‘it’s too much, you won’t be able to handle the conflict that’ll arise’, so within the pattern of these thoughts, is justification and self diminishment, where I allow myself to fall back into the patterns and suppressions because I accept these thoughts as me, over and over again.

Within the justification character, it is self manipulation as it’s a point of giving into the mind and using a back door as points that if I look in self honesty, I realize is only holding me back and suppressing who I can be if I just stop the justification to live to my fullest potential. Why would I live in such a way, this based on fear and why do I accept and allow fear to direct me, because of the justification that apparently I can’t break through. But, having a look, I see and realize that this is just a limitation I am accepting myself as based on not fully wanting to take responsibility for who I am.

Thus justifying the abuse onto myself, where in I cycle through self sabotage as falling and becoming depressed, but creating this as I keep defining myself by the characters of inferior, not capable, and bring that through with justifying why I am this way, to thus be able to live into this point where in I fool myself believing that it is not possible to change and become who I really am as life.

But who is the one who is sabotaging who, I am the only one who is sabotaging myself with beliefs and ideas that I am not capable, and thus justifying it as so because I am not disciplining myself enough in my living, to stop the points I see that are not supporting me.

To justify who I am being as a person in the mind limiting myself to my fullest potential which is here in the physical, is an excuse to walk the easy way out, and not push myself in the forms and ways that must be pushed to stop this from continuing. It’s essentially, allowing the mind complete control and access into self and allowing the life force to be sucked out, like giving up, but within the giving up it’s an existential consequences as even if it is not faced here at death, I will face myself in the here after, just making it that much more difficult, and from what I have gathered through speaking to beings here on the farm and in desteni, it’s much more difficult in the dimensions because the physical is a point of stability that is lost at death.

So I will walk the self forgiveness in my next blog to face this point, and thus walk the correction, to stop the point of giving into justifications in self, and thus transcend the point of giving up, to only walk the point of life, in absolute dedication, and pushing to be more specific and detailed. 

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki


justification, justifying abuse, excuses, manipulation fear, death, physical, space time, dimensions, mind, existence, consequences of ones actions, life force, desteni, equal life, journey to life, 2012, giving up, i give up, eqafe, bernardpoolman

Day 71- The Inner Torture of Self Doubt- Ego Rises

Within this point of self doubt where I start to live into it within this feeling of inferiority that comes upon me especially within groups and others, I will then manifest myself in a defense and protection mechanism, where I will go into ego and 'pretend' that I am too cool to talk to others, I don't care about others, and I am just too cool to really put any kind of effort into getting to know others and walking with others. This completely and totally based on the in-fear-ority I am existing as and the hiding I go into to to not have to face the reality of who I am accepting myself to be within this self doubt and fear of being around others.

Within this point of going into the opposite polarity of this point as ego is based on hiding and not desiring to face the person I have become and really allowing fear to take me over, fear of others, and fear of being emotionally hurt by them, I realize that I can only be 'hurt' emotionally if I am emotional, and I realize that emotions is just systems within us, programs actually, created by the mind consciousness system through and as my acceptance of it being real, that indeed it was created as real for me. But who I am I understand is life and life doesn't get emotional about things, life is here and live solutions in equality and oneness in all ways = always.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into a form of superiority as a form of hiding to not have to face myself and how I am accepting myself as fear because I realize what I'll have to do to face this fear and it's to look at how I am being and change myself to walk in equilibrium with myself, and change I see as hard so I resist it. I realize and see that within this fear and then going into the hiding as a form of ego as superiority is only causing more abuse as I am just perpetuating myself through the cycle of low and high were I gain energy off of others and then fall when I am perceiving others within the judgments I am holding on of myself. Thus I must walk the correction of stopping this form of hiding by facing each and every form of judgment and fear that arise with others or with myself and investigate it and walk out the correction through writing and sel forgiveness to give me the base platform for the opportunity to change.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into fear towards others based on the judgments of myself and thus perceiving the life around me in relation to these judgments I am holding and thus projecting my own self judgments onto others seeing and perceiving they are judging me in equal fashion. When I realize and see that this judgment is only and always has been about myself, how I am being within myself and my living with and towards myself, and thus will live out who I am within myself to my external world, which within the self doubt that I am accepting is a limited version of myself in fear and defense mechanism where I am not actually seeing who I am within the moment but only seeing through self judgment where I cause myself to doubt myself and sabotage myself due to the fear I am defining myself by and existing from within and throughout my world. I realize and see that I am not defined by my own mind and self judgments, I have the opportunity here to see them for what they are as fears and self sabotage where I have accepted a false version of myself due to self interest and want to be seen or expected to be treated in a certain way. Within this I understand that to limit life to my own desires and expectations is a form of enslavement of myself as this can never be fufilled and doesn't make sense as this would only be considering myself within ideas and projections of myself and missing the reality that is real and is life here equal and one with all of us within and as each other and thus to stop the enslavement of myself I have to stop the separation of myself from mind ego desires in self interest to life here living with each other in creating solutions and unity within all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to play over scenarios in head head over and over again to formulate and analyze and also create fantasy type play outs where I can create myself as the best I can be, or discover what I missed or what I didn't do within others opinion of me where I could be different next time. Within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to play out mind realities in my mind to create a nice feeling for myself where I can essentially create whatever I want in terms of my mind reality where I can go into detail how I can be better, or what I can to to get others to see me in a different light or a new way, and thus live within my mind more then I am actually living here in reality with others. Making all sorts of dimensions up within my head where I am not really having to take responsibility for myself and change the false living I am living as as self judgment and self doubt and stand here within myself as life and accept myself one and equal with others, and see that I am the other and that we actually have very much many things in common and are basically the same within our beingness in general. I realize and see that within this living within my mind and making up reality within the mind dimensions is causing me to be more lost and out of touch with reality and thus not able to see and take the responsibility need to stop the actions of self judgment and inferiority and thus self doubt when they arise, and so I understand I must stop participating in this mind reality scenarios I exist within and become more practical, more physical, and push to use breath for stability and work more as breath to walk into and as the physical more and more as I walk into this as myself.

I commit myself to stop going into the ego as superiority with others I am feeling inferior with and thus stop this polarity of inferior/superior cycle but exist within who we are as equals walk this as myself, and push myself to live this in each and every moment stopping the mind with my self will.

I commit myself to stop fear and living within the mind as how others are seeing me in this fantasy reality as my perceptions and judgement, but instead I commit to walk here as equals with life living this day to day, helping, caring, and becoming humble with the life around me and myself to become gracefully within my living and give myself back to myself to enjoy myself as life.

I commit to stop the mind reality fantasies and analysis of myself so I can stand with life and as life and trust myself to not abuse myself or others, and thus I stop fueling this abuse of myself by stopping the judgments and the thoughts of this self hatred and walk the self back to living by become the living through my words and actions.

inner torture, ego rising, hell bound, eqafe, inner turmoil, hell, existence, self doubt, why do i doubt myself, equality, eqafe, deeteni, 2012, journey to life,