Eqafe Hangout: From Shyness to Self Confidence - Day 554

Thanks so much to Valentin Rozman for sharing your realizations and solutions you have walked in your process in this hangout.

Find the interview here:

https://eqafe.com/p/from-shyness-to-self-confidence-life-review

Interview synopsis:

"How to Transcend Shyness and become Self Confident within absolute Unconditional Self Expression."

Here in this discussion, Valentin and I will be looking at our experiences in our life of how we have transcended shyness to live with more self confidence and self authority. We will share what tools and practical methods we walked to create this change for ourselves. Also, we will discuss what fears we had to face and work through in this journey of walking through shyness and transforming it into self confidence.

These hangouts are for the purpose of educating all on the support given at the eqafe.com website, which shares through thousands of audio recordings the understanding of the human potential in this life. Where the listener can gain practical support that can be walked to help themselves become more effective in their everyday living.

How I Learned to Trust Myself with the Desteni I Process - Day 536

 

I discuss in this audio how I learned how to trust myself. I was quite an insecure person with little self trust, now standing within myself in self trust and confidence on a mission to support self change and the world to change in the best way possible. This to support and teach all to become stewards of the earth so we can all learn to live in decency and dignity.

Check out the links for more on the process at desteni:

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course - 

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!

www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Self Supportive Material - 

www.Eqafe.com

Forum support: 

www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki: 

wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page: 

www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group: 

www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook: 

www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Assertive - Redefining this Word to Live - Day 497

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Assertive is not something I would describe myself as within how I operate in social settings, I am quite shy usually and it'll take a push for me to become more outgoing and assertive in my words and actions. Though, personally I am assertive within myself based on a relative understanding of being truthful and honoring this within myself, and what fruits this brings when it is applied in an honest application. I enjoyed in the past and still do the consequences this brings in my life and self understanding, and usually I regret if I do something that was not supporting a truthful outcome. So I always had a personal understanding of doing the ‘right’ thing or allowing this truth within me be a focus throughout my life. The part that I couldn’t quite align with is the social world where I became limited by past memories of being bullied and events that caused hardship on my mind. I did have many fun/enjoyable times, though what always seemed to stand out the most is the negative and bad times.

So the way I identify with this word is that I personally am assertive within myself in my path to living my truth, but in the external world I am imbalanced within this point as I suppress my expression a lot and feel insecure in front of people mostly. Though through walking the desteni i process and living words redefinition process I am becoming more and more strong in my stand of who I am and find more stability within myself to live this word assertive.

Defintion:
Assertive - 1560s, "declaratory, positive, full of assertion," from assert + -ive. Meaning "insisting on one's rights" is short for self-assertive(1865).

Assertive word play:
Assist – directive
Assert – directive

So within looking at the word definition and the word play, I see that there is an active assertion or declaration of self’s direction within the moment or within what self is living. So within this assertiveness is self movement in one’s self truth. Here I can see it as a point of moving from being laid back or not moving self to in the moment moving self to walk one’s truth where in a moment before I would hold myself back due to fear. So it’s in a way recognizing one’s self truth and expressing that through the layers of the mind as limitations that is pushing the resistence in self to remain quiet, remain limited, remain enslaved so I am controlled and can’t change myself. This action of moving through the mind into self expression is asserting oneself in the physical in the moment. I can walk this in moments where I see I want to hold back, I look within myself and see if I am clear and if I have something to share/express I assert myself to do so moving through any mind resistances and living/expressing my truth as who I am in that moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself back in self expression due to the fear of being judged/ridiculed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach expressing myself with ridicule and humiliation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold back in moments due to fear within my words being wrong or not agreeable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my expression due to my mind saying no instead of moving into the physical and seeing what is real.

I commit myself to move through the mind layers of energy/fear and move into an assertive looking of myself in the moment to express if it is there.

I commit myself to assert myself if I am aligned with truth within myself and walking self honest and what is best.

I commit myself to stop fear with moving into assertiveness and correcting myself as I find I am not aligned with what is best and always stand.

Check out more support at:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Others Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Horses and People – Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature – Part 3 - Day 363

This is a Series, here are the others to reference:

My Experience Before and After Beginning Process with Animals and Nature – Part 1- Day 361
Horses and People– Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature Part 2 – Day 362

So I am at the farm and now have committed with Cerise to three months of daily responsibility to work with horses, I was quite excited about this, but also nervous because I didn’t know what to expect.  Cerise first showed me how to take care of Fat, how to clean his hooves, how to clean the poo and the pee hay, how to look for ticks, how to move him and communicate with him through touch, but I most enjoyed the walking with him to the camps where the horses grazed and spent there day. I walked with Cerise the first couple days, and then she would give me the reigns and I would get to walk with Fat on my own. This at first took a bit of getting use to, but again there were communication methods to allow him to know when to stop, or move faster, or slow down, so there was a constant point of hereness within the horse and myself when we were together to ensure safety. Well, I was not always here with Fat because a lot of the time I was in my mind. When cleaning the stables or walking the horses, it is actually very quiet, well there is people speaking around you, but you are alone in the stable and you just do the job that is here to do mostly on your own, so I observed myself often in these moments due to this quietness that naturally emerged in these times.

I found when I was physically moving and doing the daily responsibility directly with the horse, like cleaning his hooves or checking for ticks, I was more at ease and more natural within my expression, I didn’t feel fear or unsafe in anyway, I did use caution, but I was not in such a state as how I was when I began the care with him, I was more comfortable. I remember the most interesting point was when I would look into the Fat’s eyes, I would see him staring back at me and within myself I knew that he was here with me, he could see me as I could see him, it was more in depth though then looking into a humans eyes like looking into my dogs eye like he could see beyond my mind and beyond the thinking, and it felt like he looked within the core of myself. I always felt like I had to look away, like I was being exposed and felt silly in ways for looking so directly into the horses eyes and his direct look back, but I realized this reaction within me was was a reflection of myself, Fat was showing me to me, that I am embarrassed and afraid to look within the core of who I am, the in depth person that I have become, and the acceptances and allowances I have created within myself and left hidden and suppressed for so many years. It’s like all that opened up and got exposed in that moment where we looked into each other’s eyes.

The reflection he showed me of myself was based on the construct of the mind within the confident and insecure polarity play out I have existed as for many years.  The confidence I very much tried and portrayed in those moments I was with the others at the farm, ensuring I was being seen as strong, cool, and had my self together, but within me this creating the opposite as an insecurity because I did not live up to those ways I desired to be because they weren’t real, they were just thought up in my mind and how I desired for myself to be, but in reality this is not how I lived, I was anxious, reserved, and quite judgmental of myself and cared a lot about how I was seen, and so created a lot of self sabotage and insecurity that effected everything about my day to day living. Fat the horse just within looking in my eyes, opened up a whole mind construct that I have allowed for some time and did not want to face, and now I will open and support myself and change to stand with Fat and all beings and look into there eyes and be equal and one here, no movement, but expression of self.

More to come in the next blog. Thanks for reading.

Interview Support I Recommend from Eqafe:

Birthing a new Life through the Eyes of a Horse - Part 1
Birthing a new Life through the Eyes of a Horse - Part 2
Birthing a new Life through the Eyes of a Horse - Part 3

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site
Living Income Guaranteed Proposal - Site
Equal Money System - Site

Day 294- Self Judgment – Backchat Breakdown – Thought #3 - Lack in Self Confidence

 

Please reference these blogs, for further context to this quote below:
Day 291 – Self Judgment – The Voice of Unreason
Day 292- Self Judgment – Back Chat Breakdown – Thought #1
Day 293 – Self Judgment – Backchat Breakdown – Thought 2

“I am too far gone for this to work out and be able to be stable with another, I am not able to stand stable, I am too fucked up to be able to have a guy be into me and have it work out.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only continue to see and recognize the past, the past as me as an abuser to myself, and not stand and stop this point forevermore as the solution I see I am walking for myself and is possible as I continue on this journey to life, self freedom in self honesty and self responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by what the thoughts in my head are saying to me when in no way are they supporting me to become a human being of stability and self sufficiency - where life is lived in equality, and thus I realize this is something not to take for reality because life for real is equal and one as unconditional support, and thus I must change my starting point in thisrelationship with myself as my thoughts to align equal and one to life which is in the physical and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a disappointment within myself as being let down based on believing the mind reality of my backchat as a self defeatism outlook and thus live within my world in depression because keeping telling myself and living out that I am not as good as another, when in reality I am making this entire thing up and sabotaging myself because of fear of changing myself within this point and seeing who I am without fear by walking as self expression within this point of being with another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in self sabotage and continue to follow the backchat of self defeatism based on fearing rejection and having to face the reality of being rejected by another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge those who are rejected by others as lower in status then those who are accepted, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see, think, and interact with others in this regard as less then if they are rejected and more acceptable if they are accepted by the group.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change my expression to fit into a group, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within self compromise to be accepted and not have to face this point of rejection, but thus live the point of devolution of self as freedom as this is in no way freedom of self as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach the word failure and the experience of a lower standing then others within this point of being rejected by others, when really this is a point that is not in alignment and thus is not able to be walked at this time when I am rejected within my reality, it’s not to take it personal, but just realize it’s a point to let it be for a moment until another opportunity comes to support if I am able to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship with myself based on the negative experiences in my past, I realize I must let these go to move on and become here able to see me for real in my physical environment as my physical body, and direct myself in my expression as I walk and expand myself within what it means to be one and equal with life as me as I face my world in self awarenessand self responsibility to life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be a perfect ideal for others to worship and praise and give me nice feelings not realizing this will create the polarity play out of the negative of myself based on the intensity of my participation within the thought, feeling, and thus living action of these play outs, and so equal and one creates the same in my world but just within opposite energies extremes, both creating the same outflow to these consequences, separation with life and separation with myself.

When and as I go into a point of desiring to resist another due to the backchat thought I am thinking of self sabotage, I stop and breath, realizing that this will create a point of self imprisonment of my own making listening to illusion as my mind in the backchat program of keeping me suppressed, and all the while suppressing my expression in the physical where instead I can be using my gifts, my communication, me living to expand and grow who I am with my world and the world at large for the outcome of what is best for all as I build this relationship within myself as myself equal and one.

I commit myself to let go of all thoughts of backchat of self sabotage through breathing and not participating in not a one of these thoughts through forgiving them, letting them go, and continue to walk as the physical, embracing me within my physical body and moving through the points I am resisting building my integrityand awareness as self trust.

I commit myself to find the solutions within the points that I fear through understanding the fear, and moving through that fear by facing it, and finding the path that will transcend it be it through my own push of self action or standing stable in a point of desire to move in energy, I remain focused on what the matter is here and that is life in what is best for all.

I commit to stop all self interest for me to be happy and gain a point of status, and so I commit to continue to walk all my breaths here in the pursuit of life in oneness and equality through and as myself as I transcend the control of the mind as the directive principle of myself to my own self direction in common sense here within and as the physical.

I commit myself to let go of the emotion of failure and disappointment within myself and stand as the realization of how far I have come, what I have changed within me, and what I can give to others to support with this change in all areas I touch and expand into as I have done this already for myself.

I give as I would like to receive, which is the way to life in freedom for all.


For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

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