Militarized State the Way of the Future? War Paranoia and Basic IncomeGuaranteed– Day 325

Recently within the past few months, America has increasingly geared themselves toward being a militarized state, providing local, state, and federal police officers with hallow point bullets by ordering them in the billions. These bullets are more expensive and more precise within there killing, and are used within war and by military forces in war. Now, here we are seeing the outflow consequences of our fear paranoia of our need for protection, and thus this has become our greatest monster. The governments of this world are run by mafia like regimes, only looking for profit and power, and not considering any thing remotely close to what is best for the people. If this was the case then they would not be ordering bullets or have any plans for war as certainly we can come up with solutions that don't involve maiming, deforming, and killing our fellow beings in this world.

War, fear, and paranoia seem a part of life, like a natural occurrence that we have accepted, and we never question or consider if there could be another way. We have essentially accepted our fate that war is part of life as we see it ongoing throughout the centuries of human history when common sensically it is the absolute opposite of life as it destroys it in many different ways. We as a society really have to question ourselves and consider this point of why we allow so easily and readily that war be the solution in this world and so easily we use punishment, violence, and killing to solve problems that are far more consequential in the whole of humanity then we care to even look at never mind consider.  

We must stop the blame, pointing fingers, and violence towards life in this world, and walk the process of realizing responsibility for our actions and so live with integrity  How does one start to live with integrity? Writing has assisted me greatly in finding ways to live with respect for others and for myself, and seeing more expansive solutions to issues I face in my world to bring it to a solution where all benefit. To start your process join the Desteni I Process Lite course, it's free and has buddy support, and will walk you through the basis of how to support oneself to change one's living for the better. 

A basic income guaranteed is a solution for the inequality within the world of today because we can restructure the way we do business and living to enhance people and enhance communities. This will start the process of recognizing the life within all, and that war is actually a crime against humanity waged for profit and gain. We must end war if we ever want to see peace in this world, and if you are for peace then you should be for basic income guaranteed, because it's the path to end war. 

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Day 313 - What the Hell am I doing?

So I am here on the desteni farm, and just being here for a few days, I am already seeing much support and thus much change within myself. One of the main changes I am focusing on is stopping the backchat about judging myself. I have now gone through quite a process of writing to get to this point of being ready to physically walk this change, of course, it just takes a decision and sticking to this decision in every moment of breath, but for a long while, I realized that I used my backchat to stay within my accepted and allowed limitation of trying to be seen as someone who is more then others because i judged myself as inferior. This in a subtle way, like desiring people to think I am cool, wanting to be around me, and thus obviously within myself I am creating these same expectations of others immediately causing a polarity separation with me and my environment meaning there is a conflict of interest as the interest always should be what is best for all, but with this split, I am only looking what will be best for me causing the mind fuck I have been in for now way too long.

While being here for the past few days and sitting in some interviews with the portal, which will be coming out soon, I finally asked myself, ‘really, what the hell am I doing?’ I finally am seeing the change necessary to stop this point of self sabotage, it’s been a journey because it takes education to understand what you are doing and what you are creating within you each moment you think or backchat, I found this series, The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination  extremely supportive in stopping self judgment specifically. Another supportive thing was Bernard said to me, “you are the only one creating what is going on in your head, no one else but you”, and this is so true, I am creating all sorts of assumptions and thoughts and memory imprints of moments in time, where I am using to judge myself and degrade myself as well as make myself more and better then others because of the constant cycle play out of seeing myself inferior and using others to make myself feel superior. So it’s the cycle of competition and trying to win, but in the meantime it’s having quite an effect on my self stability and how I see myself in reality because the focus is squewed, it’s never been about me and who I am within myself, how I am standing, but about what others think, how others see me or treat me, and thus only from these assumptions within myself I live my life thus creating much self compromise.

And so the backchat is always geared towards preying on the ‘weak’ around me, who I can find that is not as strong as others and then go ok, here I am ‘better’ then this one, so I can get a bit of energy to last me for a while until a new occurrence happens where I have judged myself and go back into negative energy feelings as bad, sad, you know those emotions, and then I will search for that positive energy again. So it’s like seriously, what the fuck am I doing, what kind of person am I creating within myself with these types of thought patterns, this type of nasty back chatting of abuse and scheming I am participating in, a nasty person who is completely self compromised because all this cause within me is paranoia and conflict within myself and thus in my world making me lost. I am not able really to discern and direct myself in a way that is functional and effective as I could have with my mind clear, my mind here, my mind focused on what is real and practical, but allow my mind to go haywire and all over the place with these constant comparisons and mind assumption story line patterns repeating themselves over and over again searching for positive energy in the way od self compromise and abuse to others as well as myself.

So I have started to really force breath awareness and stopping every pattern thought that comes through, all patterns of judgment or comparison in my mind seeing them as the realization that they are purely assumption and thus not something to follow, and breath through all reactions that come up of emotion or feeling, and continue what I am doing in the physical. If I do react, I note it and continue to walk by letting it go, stop focusing on it, and allow it to dissipate through time to end it’s connection to me as a memory. It is not something that has to define me I have realized, yes, I may have reacted and made a mistake or said something dumb or something like that, but I don’t have to terrorize myself, but can simply let it go and continue practicing breath, living from the physical, and moving myself in the principles I realize are true and best for all which is best for me, life is one in all walks that are here and we are equal within this fact. I simply have to continue on this process of accepting myself, letting go of the mind components of self compromise, and stick to breath, focusing on what is real as the physical and my living within it to become the most effective I can be through clearing and focusing my mind on what is real, aligning it with the physical reality equal and one to life which is in the end equal and one to me if I dare.

This the true path to freedom and total self awareness and becoming the utmost I can be because I am in the reality where this is done, here in the physical, in my mind it’s there and it’ can get very messy with the judgments, desires, backchat, emotions, feelings, so I stick to breath, stick to here as what I am doing physically, and walk the process to change self in this manner with self forgiveness and self correction in living. Also, a cool point has been developing since i started walking this and it's a self appreciation because I am really seeing me from a point of equality with my environment and thus in my body, this for the first time really within a point of self decision probably in my whole life, and it's like a weight has lifted off my back essentially because I don't have the pressure of trying to be someone or do something to show I am this or that, but simply be me and live and enjoy what is here, it's really that simple.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki
Equal Money System Website
Equal Life Foundation


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Day 180 – Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Exposure Part 1.2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge something that I have done or have had happen to me as bad and thus create a suppression around it based on fear of others finding out. I realize that when I create a suppression around a point I have judged I will go into this fear based on believing that I will be seen as bad for doing such an act or having something happen to me, which cause no solution within the point, but only accumulates energy and is stored as memories for me to limit myself from in my physical body because they are not being dealt with.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a judgment of an act I do or something that has been done to me as bad, I stop and breath, and do not allow the thoughts to continue as I realize this will limit me in my living and I see this as unbeneficial to and so I commit myself to when and as I go into judgment stop the thoughts and do self forgiveness to correct the point, and not allow it to have power over me, but direct it within the moment to a solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a memory within me of fear of exposure due to living this within the time I wet the bed, and holding onto this memory for some time within me, hiding it, based on this fear of not wanting others to know, and thus becoming manipulative so others will not find out and stunt my expression as I am being deceptive within this. I realize that within this fear and suppression I am not allowing myself to release the point and find out the origin of what it’s about and why it occurred, but instead creating more layers as the mind as memories as these thoughts of being exposed, and thus cause abuse to myself through suppressing and not releasing the point to be corrected.

I commit myself to when and as I find I am going into a suppression about a point I fear others finding out about, I stop and breath, and commit myself to write the point out in private, to find out the origin of the fear and suppression, and thus come to a solution so it doesn’t have power over me any longer, such as stopping the judgment which is not real and standing within stability of who I am and finding out the solution to the wetting or why it’s occurring to be corrected, and get it dealt with so I am free of it and have it stop having power over me because it is understood within myself instead of just suppressed and feared.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being outcasted by others based on holding onto the belief that those who wet the bed are not normal, and thus create a judgment against those that wet the bed. I realize that holding onto this judgment is useless as it only hinders me, when I can get the point corrected, as obviously there is a point that is not working properly within me, and thus stopping this belief and getting the support I need to help my physical function properly.

I commit myself to when and as I go into beliefs about how people see things or think about things, I stop and breath, and find within the point through writing what is the common sense practical solution to what it is I am facing. Allowing for assistance and support when I realize something is not ok within my body, and stopping the beliefs when they arise from directing me. I commit to focus on fact and the physical and let go of beliefs and fears as these are illusions as they are of the mind, and are not supporting me to live to my fullest potential, so I commit to let go of the illusion as mind within thoughts, and focus and practice living from the physical until I am here.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Day 179 – Introduction to My Anxiety – Part 1.1 - Fear of Being Exposed

Here looking at the fear’s within points where I become anxious within myself, I see fears that come up when I am anxious are:
-fear of being exposed
-fear of being seen in a bad light
-fear of not making it, whether time, deadline, process
-fear of being a failure
-fear of others seeing me as a failure
-fear of dying
-fear of being seen as an outcast
-fear of suffering physical

-fear of not getting what I want

So I will walk through each of these fears to investigate the specifics of how and why they have been created within myself, and where within my past they are originating from, to walk the self forgiveness and self corrective process to give myself the opportunity to stop the fear in my living and live from reality, here, as I me breathing and living equal with all life.

#1) Fear of Being Exposed

Here I see that I have a fear of being exposed due to seeing throughout my life that when something was exposed and someone was caught, they were riduculed, judged, and outcasted from the group they were in and labeled as such. So within myself all the hidden secrets that I judged as bad, I feared becoming exposed and caught because of this fear of being outcasted and labeled as a fuck up within my group or the environment I was in. So this fear of being exposed, is a fear of being out casted within my family at the most prominent level in my early life and the environment I was in, and being labeled as someone who is different or odd. So having this idea in my head that people who are out casted and are labeled as different are to be avoided and any point I find within myself that I judge in this way as 'bad' or 'abnormal' is to not be exposed at any cost. So great anxiety was built up within me because of this fear of being exposed for these 'bad' or 'abnormal' things that happened in my life, and thus then being outcasted and being seen as different, which created more anxiety and fear of not being treated the same as the others and so I would have less of a chance of getting my desires met.

So a memory that happened when I was younger within this fear of exposure was when once and a while I would wet my bed, and then would walk up in a panic because of it. I would go very quickly to find clean clothes and change my sheets, hoping my mom or anyone, would not find out that I did this. Within me I was afraid that if my mom would find out then my whole family would find out, and then it would get to my friends, and then my classmates, and then I would be seen as different and not treated as I would normally be treated as all the others kids are treated. So I built up an anxiety of being seen by my peers as a person less then who I wanted them to see me as, which was a normal kid where I had potential to impress them and become one of the better one's among them. 

For a lot of years, I went through this nightly ritual of fear of being exposed and having to face my mom of wetting the bed, I didn’t want any point of difference that would make me seem weak by others, so I didn’t give anyone the chance to find anything ‘bad’ out about me, if I could help it, making me become very good at deception and manipulating others to only let people know so much about me not exposing the truth what's going on within me because of fear of being weak among the group, and thus lessening my chance of a 'good' life. So survival was the foundation of this fear, causing allot of anxiety and build up of stress in myself over time, as it was just accumulating and accumulating in my thoughts, in my memories, in energies as emotions, and in fear of being seen as someone who is not normal creating the idea in my mind that I am will be seen as weak, and thus less likely to get what I want in life, which created and fueled this fear for many years throughout my childhood.

More to come in next blog…stay tuned and thanks for reading.