Competition In MY KNEE - Day 543

Photo By: Sylvia Gersson 

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I noticed after finishing my swim for tonight, I had a pain on my left k-nee(d), it felt like it was buckling in and this prompted me to lie down and investigate it further. What came up was a point of competition I was particpating in while myself and another swimmer where next to each other in the lanes, we kept passing each other and I was fighting myself to stop pushing myself to go fast and try and pass him and be the winner who get’s to the end of the lane first. I looked further into this and found that this pattern is one I participate in a lot and it’s a need to succeed and accomplish something, competition in sports is a great outlet for this pattern because it’s so clear the goal and a great chance of success. What pattern I saw existent within this desire to win, succeed, and accomplish things is a need to be valued by others and especially by myself, I am very competitive with myself, where if I do not succeed or grow within my life, I will create a depression type experience where I believe myself to be less valued, less worthy, and so lastly not able to compete, keep up, and survive in this world. So fear of survival is at the core of this pattern, where I believe myself to be only worthy or valued in this life if I am able to contribute something and compete to show I can, and within that seeking the best to feel better about myself.

What I didn’t realize is that this pattern is being fueled exclusively by my participation within it, there is a part of me that is seeking this feeling and this experience of being the best, being seen by others as worth something, and being able to within myself feel victorious in all that is able to be gained through being at the top and the best in a specific task or field. So my ego and self interest are equally pulsating as me in my actions and behaviors to move me in an intensity to succeed though within it I become unstable with fear of loss and fear of rejection at the same time. What I have learned through moving myself more and more into physical self directed movement is that there is a stability gained through living physically here that is unwavering in a way based on the very fact that I myself am creating the stability through what I have already lived and continue to live in each moment as my stand and my commitment. It is me, so I know and understand who I am within it which breeds clarity within self and thus stability in my enviroment.


When I go into ego, all bets are off as in self interest and ego you lose focus of the physical and of yourself, and you start drifting in thought streams that will take you with energy attached to them and then your on a roller coaster. So I have found that the stability of living my words, changing myself in my highest potential, and doing what is best is the best way to go as it’s the most certain and creates the most stability within self to create how I see fit.

I will walk some self forgiveness on competition and self interest:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in my ego in self interest of being the best within my swimming today due to wanting to impress the man i was swimming against so I could feel worthy if we were to interact as he would know that I am a good athlete and thus I am accomplished in something in my life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen by others as accomplished and good at things in my life because within myself i am feeling as if i am lacking in some way or another due to thoughts that I need to be better, i am not good enough, there are so many others who are better, and so create an experience that I am not as good and thus I will not be able to live the life i desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear of survival in this world due to what i have imprinted in my life where i see that you have to be good at something, and within this, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself to the life expression that exist within myself and so exist within all that is creative within it’s very expression, and so i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my and others creative expressions due to this belief that some are inherently great at things and those who are not are not as worthy and so subject to life in compromise.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live in to this belief that some are inherently better then others due to what they can do, what they say, what they look like, and so create this separation with everything that exist by putting everything in a box as good or bad and wrapping energy around this box pulsating positive or negative energy depending what i have programmed into myself to within that be able to have the high from time to time.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself in believing that separation exists in this world and so live into the survival system that was designed so I could feed off of the weak to be able to give myself a high once in a while, feeding off of addictive patterns within myself showing my own weaknesses, and being ok with a diminished and self compromised existence as life here in what is best in oneness and equality is able to be lived and is already here as me, though i must stand one and equal to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into addictions within myself as highs and so equally participate and live out the lows pretending that i don’t know what I am doing, when all the while I have been fooling myself and creating conflict in all areas of my life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i am not good enough due to an inherent belief that my dad is the top of my world and I would have to be like him to succeed though fearing this because i did not like the way my dad conducts himself in his words and behaviors.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to attach the words accomplished, confident, strength, and courage to my dad and equally resist it because i don’t like my dad’s way of living.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself due to this belief that i have to be like my dad when i see, realize, and understand we are each walking our own individual processes here and I have the ability to direct myself in my best and within that i have free creative expression to do what I will, it’s all up to me and directed and defined by me.

When and as I see I am going into a form of self interest as ego wanting something or being driven to do something, I stop and breath, and realize I am activating my mind competition and so create chaos and instability in my world through play outs and timelines that will bring me back to the same point of self diminishment and feeling unworthy. I realize I have to walk the physical timeline of proving myself in my living that I am able to change myself into living words that are best for all and so best for me with the clear directive to walk myself change into a unique and individual expression that is boundless in the potentials of my abilities and creation.

I commit myself to walk the letting go of the desire to accomplish and succeed and walk the living word process of creation and self change as I move myself into pursuits of my own creation that I direct and push in the purposes of what is best for all and expressing myself in new ways that work.

I commit myself to let go of the belief that i am unworthy as I see this is created from thoughts and thoughts do not define me as I am not defined by a belief, I am defined by my living in what i create here and for what purposes.

I commit myself to push myself into the new redefined word of competition in pushing my self creative process into more expansive ways to move this process to life further to support more and more and walk what is best for all.

I commit myself to let go of the relationship with my dad as my director in my life and put myself in that position in self responsibility to not only walk my process to life in the best of my ability but allow others to walk theres and realize i am not responsible for everyone making it, each one is that for themselves.

I commit myself to push myself to move beyond my limitations and support where I am able to though allow others to walk their own process as this is where self growth and empowerment is born.

For more on how to walk the process of becoming physical and doing what is best, check out the links below.

Earth Haven - Sustainable Living Environments -
Built on the Principles of What is best for all Life
https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4404004

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Self Supportive Material -
www.Eqafe.com

Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
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Looking at the Word Precision – Day 475

 Photo Source

Please Reference my last blog for more context to this blog:

Precision of Self – Day 474

My goal for this word precision is to live it in a way that it supports with being more specific and exact within my every day activities, I know that I will not perfect this word in my living in a short period of time, though I do see that with consistency and movement within my self change this word has a huge potential for accelerating my living into the sphere of my utmost potential. So with that being said, I will have a look at where I stand within this word at the moment. Well first I will look at the definition from the dictionary of what this word means:

Precision: noun - the quality, condition, or fact of being exact and accurate

“Precision is similar to perfection in that both words suggest that something could not possibly be better. However, perfection describes something that's flawless, such as a beautiful sunset. Precision, on the other hand, is more about accuracy, like computing the exact second that the perfect sunset will occur.”

So I like the distinction that is made here within the words precision and perfection as they are very similar, but are not as they are not lived within the same contexts. Precision is more a form of movement within a mathematical equation, where perfection just is, meaning there is no movement within it, it is what it is wholly. So that is a cool understanding based on the belief that I had and I am sure many had of precision being something that is within perfection, but in actuality it is more relating to movement and mathematics. My partner sees life in many ways in terms of mathematics, and I am more and more finding it very fascinating as I have never looked at life in this way, but the more I look, the more I see all life is in fact mathematical. Perfection being the final result, where as precision is the movement to get to this final result of perfection. 

Precision within the way I have lived it has been something that I have always been fascinated by and enjoyed within different areas of study or activity that I have endeavored in, but there was an inherent belief within me that I did not have the ability to be precise, I was too clumsy, too impatient, too lazy to get to a point where I can express precision. Though, I have in moments expressed this specifically within my work or if I am in a physical activity such as writing up a proposal or cleaning something that is dirty, I will ensure I am precise within my movements as well as precise within the way in which I clean where I will calculate the size of the area, ensure I hit all areas calculated, and clean in a precision within the intensity as well as the veracity of my movements to ensure each layer is cleaned as precisely as the last.

This creates a point of perfection in a way where the cleanliness of the floor is satisfied for a amount of time to my liking, which also can create a precision within the efficiency of my movements within my cleaning schedule for instance and ensure my body is being used in it's most efficient capacity. Also, it creates a point of understanding that perfection is changing, meaning that when one reaches a perfection, through life there will always be a movement that will ensure that one keeps standing as this perfection as the floor will not stay perfect forever, but will have to be constantly moved into a perfection again and again as I consistently apply the actions of precision within cleaning it. So there is many factors to consider within this word of precision and there can surely be many benefits.

There is also a feeling of accomplishment within giving it my all within what I do and this is lived when I can execute a form of precision within what I do which will create the living of perfection, this not only benefiting myself but others as well. I find this action of being precise within what I do is done within a form of self determination and self satisfaction where I am not doing it for anyone else, but my own standards of living and existing for myself. So I have displayed precision within my living in ways that I am satisfied with, though my mind tends to tell me that I have not done it at all in a way that is satisfactory, and of course I realize there is always room for improvement.

I will do some self forgiveness and self correction to clear the word in my next blog and look at moving into the scenario I describe in my earlier blog of living precision as well as the support words to move through this possession point of self compromise I have been existing in for quite some time. This to ensure I change to stand in all I do with precision in the course of action I decide to walk in each moment to moment I am here. This course of living precise is for the end goal which is living what is best for all life and living in self honesty, which will create real living perfection as heaven brought to earth.

I will continue in my next blog. Thanks for reading.

Interviews to support on Real Time Application:
Neediness: Living Words & Fulfilment - Atlanteans - Part 313
Why is it so Hard to Change? - Life Review
The Consciousness of the Turtle - Part 1

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Precision of Self – Day 474

I will open up the next series of blog with looking at the word precision. This word I resist within myself within just looking at it here based on my desire to want to have an err of leeway to slack off and not put my full attention into whatever it is that I must act with precision in. So obviously within the principle of what you resist will persist, I am now in my process here to face and realign my living to in fact walk precision within myself and what I live in all moments that it calls for. I am going to focus this word precision with some support words such as constant, unwavering, persistence, steadfast, breath, here, life, best for all that I will use as a support structure to walk this specific point I want to walk within this act of precision and so then the support words to live these words in all areas of my life. So all these words will have to be looked at and redefined, which I will do in blogs to come.

The point I will be walking and practicing the integration of these words in my living is with a form of energetic reaction I go into and have noticed still has power over me in moments. It’s specifically within a group setting, meaning it’s with people, where we are talking face to face, and I am being looked at directly in the eyes. Then eventually there will be a movement or a belief that’ll come up due to some or one of the other people’s making some sort of gesture of uncomfortability, be it not holding eye contact or rubbing there face or eyes. These specific motions from the other cause triggers inside of me where in I will go into an emotional experience of diminishment coming from my solar plexus area moving into my chest area, and feeling in a way like it is clenching into my limbs which creates a tightness and constriction within my entire physical body.

So I feel it physically when I become possessed by this experience as this depressive state of tension and constriction, but this is not were it starts, this reaction starts with a little movement inside my stomach area of a sinking feeling and then the thoughts start of like a ‘damn, I am being judged again, I am the one who is being seen as awkward’ and then this will stew subconsciously while I am trying to hold face and discuss what is being talked about. Then I will depending on the stimulation from the external environment, go into a panic type experience or stop it there and not allow it. This moment of decision is usually based on if I go into the energy reaction or not, and the most highly tense time for reaction is if I go into a bathroom or mirror and look at myself. Then you may say, ‘well don’t look in the mirror’, but this is something that is addictive in nature as well as having to be transcended anyway as I can not keep away from mirrors my whole life.

And if I do fall into that addiction pattern of looking in the mirror and going into the thoughts of ‘your so ugly’, ‘you are never going to be normal and part of the group’ ‘you are inferior to others with this ugly face’ ‘you are not as cool as these people’ ‘they see you as awkward’ ‘you are not going to be able to stand with these people’, ‘you are weird and strange’ ‘they are going to judge you as weird’ ‘look how you talked, see you aren’t good enough’ ‘look how you look in the mirror, see you are so not attractive to look at’ ‘see how they rubbed their eyes, you are so disgusting looking’. Those are an example of the type of thoughts that go through my head, I will next time I see this pattern come up, use precision as a point to get the exact thought words that come up and what exactly the energy is doing to my body in these moments. But for now, this is the basics of it and I will work with this for the next blogs to come.

So with the word precision, I would like to look at and redefine it in my next blog to use it as a support structure for me to walk through this energy reaction of self compromise firstly, and then specify and use it for my living application in all I do. And so do this same process for the support words I mentioned earlier in this blog as well.

Thanks for reading.

Interviews to support on Real Time Application:
Neediness: Living Words & Fulfilment - Atlanteans - Part 313
Why is it so Hard to Change? - Life Review
The Consciousness of the Turtle - Part 1

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Living Self Courage – Forgiving the Fear of My Mind – Day 428

Artist: Andrew Gable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become afraid of my own thoughts I am thinking and react in shame based on the context of the thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others will judge me for the thoughts that I think.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my own mind and the thoughts that I think, realize, seeing, and understanding that the thoughts are not who I really am and I have the power to stop them, but I can not deny them as I am the one participating in them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my mind as demented and become ashamed at how I have been existing within my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to become shameful for what goes on in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am alone within how I am experiencing my mind and that I am bad for thinking in such ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that there is something wrong with me for the way in which I think about my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my mind determines and defines who I am and that within my belief about myself, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that I am less then others because of the way in which I have judged my own mind as bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within my own mind in a way where I fear certain parts of it and believe that I can’t move beyond these fears and mind points.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can’t move beyond my limitations I have believed to be true as me having something wrong with me and that I can’t move beyond this belief of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive this relationship of having something wrong with me based on the way in which my external body looks and memories I have held onto of me as real to define who I am in this moment here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my self when I say in my mind that I am less then others and that looks matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is based on the belief that I am a less then capable being and that I am not good enough to make it out of my mind and into physical living here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist looking and facing my mind because I knew I would have to face instances that would make me uncomfortable and question myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is based on the beliefs I hold about myself in my mind rather then questioning these beliefs and seeing who I in fact am within my physical living in this moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking about my judgments I have about myself for fear of being weakened in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can become weakened in the physical based on sharing myself in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others and so create the belief that some are weak and some are strong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my mind is more powerful then me and I can’t walk and let go of my fears when I realize it takes only my self will, I can decide in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being misunderstood and so judged harshly for this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being judged in anyway by others.

I forgive myself that I haven’t yet accepted and allowed myself to see that I am the only one judging myself and so holding myself in these judgments until I release myself and stop judging myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto these judgments so I don’t have to face these fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto judgments so I can continue to get happy energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to have energy to feel good.

When and as I see I am going into a point of judging my mind and going into resistances to look at a point or points within what is coming up in moments within my mind, I stop and breath, and realize that going into resistance is only disempowering me to do anything about the thoughts and or my mind patterns coming up, and so I realize I have to accept myself as my mind, look at it in common sense and self honesty, and stop taking it personal.

I commit myself to stop fear and see directly what is here through breathing and slowing down in the moment to expand myself within what is here.

I commit myself to breath and let go of all resistances to look and investigate my mind and what is coming up within it.

I commit myself to breath and let go any point of judgment or comparison I have towards my mind or my world as I realize this is disempowering me to change.

I commit myself to face my mind in every moment it comes up and move myself to walk the change that is necessary to align with life and live what is best for all.

Interview Support on the Blog Topic I recommend:
Insecurity: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 148
Insecurity: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 149
Insecurity: Insecurity-Confidence Polarity - Atlanteans - Part 150
Confidence: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 151
Confidence: Practical Support - Atlanteans - Part 152
Confidence: The End - Atlanteans - Part 153

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Related articles

• Day 436: Suppressing In Fear of Expressing
• No Progress Without Practice. DAY 312
• Stifling Self Through Suppression - Pt. 2 - DAY 306
• Day 261: FEAR of Disease
• Day 132: DESTENI Character - Self-Forgiveness / Commitments (Part2)

My Relationship With Others- I am a Failure – Day 421

Art By: Matti Freeman

So here I just listened to a few resonant interviews that were held through the desteni productions channel back in 2010 and 2011, please click the links to listen they were very helpful to me, but anyways, I got some great insight through them into my own process and my own mind. One of the contributing factors to my experience of myself with others is this already accepted and allowed belief of myself that I am a failure and that no one is going to want to be around me or be connected to me because I don’t have much to offer.

Now in physical reality I am not really aligned with my mind as I do have things to offer and I do have people around me that see that I can contribute to things, but all the while I am allowing and accepting back chat that I am the opposite, that other’s are not wanting to be around me, and that I am of no worth to others. There is this underlying experience and backchat that is going on that everyone sees me as this despicable person and there is no reason to for me to even approach them because I will be rejected, so I am fighting this within myself. This is very self abusive to myself and so also contributes to my outflows of abuse towards others in different outlets in my daily life, I see, realize, and understand I am participating and becoming possessed in the mind within beliefs that are not based or grounded in reality as I am not basing myself or grounding myself in reality, but too much allowing thoughts and emotions to direct me in my day to day living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be a failure before I even attempt to try or engage with people or in a event in physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my mind when it says that I am not worthy to be with others and that others don’t want to be around me, and so create and manifest this in my reality by not being receptive or physically participating with others but secluding myself and closing the door of opportunity before it has even begun to open.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within myself I am inherently flawed and existing within a point of having something inherently wrong with me based on judging different parts of myself within reality that I have created an absolute about and believe that who I am in this state is who I am always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have no worth in this world and no value within myself in who I am as a being because I judge myself based on the way I act and look and so see that I am not as good as others as I am still accepting and allowing comparison to direct me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself inferior to others and so fear rejection from others as I have placed worth in others higher then my own self worth.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to put my own self worth into the external world and so get emotional and fear the external not accepting me, when i don't accept myself and reject myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by my external reality and so disempower who I am within myself as a living being in my physical body and so in my physical world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to exist within comparing my expression to others and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to create separation within my world in positive and negatives and create my world into a desire to win and so create the disappointment when it turns out to be the opposite.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still exist within beliefs that I have no skills and I am not smart and so believe that I will be of no use to anyone that is wanting to be with me or get me involved in a project.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live out the self victim state within myself where I see that I have too much on my plate and so believe that I am being put under too much pressure when in reality it is me holding onto these self pity of seeing myself as less then others and that I will fail at this anyway and disappoint everyone around me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to disappoint others and will do this because I am not able to get things done and do things in a way that is efficient because I believe myself to be not capable and not smart enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not smart enough and not capable enough to move beyond my mind and my beliefs and work within physical reality, participating with reality, and moving myself as living in physical reality with others to walk what is here, and let go of the points that are not supporting me and move within what I am able to do in each breath.

When and as I see I am in a point of  belief and thinking of how I am a failure and judging myself within any way that is in polarity, I stop and breath, and look within myself to realize that I am able to live here and express myself, it only takes a breath and a movement, I realize I don’t have to continue to exist within this mind belief of less then, and can let it go and exist in a way that is by principles and self directed assuredness through building self trust and self integrity by living my words.

I commit myself to let go of and stop all back chat that is self defeating and also self praising.

I commit myself to move through these energy experiences of feeling low or desiring to get a high.

I commit myself to move myself in physical reality in these moments where I want to go into self defeat and push my fears to stop them.

I commit myself to walk this path until I am here and able to self honestly live my utmost potential and prove to myself that I am able to direct myself and have let go of the system thoughts that I am not capable and no one likes me.

I realize that it’s not about the other or the external reality, but who I am within myself, so I commit myself to build myself within my living word and stop my mind from directing me into self compromise as I direct myself as the mind into and as self correction in alignment with what is best for all.

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Related articles

• Day 238: Future Hope Displacement
• Day 113: Disappointed At Myself Means Disappointed At My World
• Hiding - Part 1
• Forgiving Myself...
• Day 100: Stop The Fear

Caring for Another as Myself - Walking Gentleness - Day 418

Photo Created By: Matti Freeman

Within walking this process of gentleness in the previous blog you can find here, I have spoken on a few dimensions of this word I would like to correct and align to what is best for all. The first dimension I looked at was the experience of myself within treating others as I would like to be treated, and so caring for others as I would like to be cared for. I am going to walk self forgiveness in this blog on this first dimension to align myself into the physical correction of caring for others as how I would like to be cared for in who I am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not treat and care for all the walks of life I meet equal to how I myself would like to be cared for and treated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create preconceived ideas and opinions of others before I even meet them and so create a separation within the interactions and words i speak towards them based on following and participating with these thoughts as ideas and opinions, and eventually live these opinions and ideas out into my world where I do not consider the other equal to myself because of a biased I have created to always benefit my own self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a belief within myself about others intended within myself in my hidden or secret layers of my mind to create a point of superiority over them as I exist within the desire to be seen more than others or be seen by others in a specific self benefiting way so I can feel good/positive within energetic responses within these moments of superiority I live out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow my desire filled self interested thinking within the starting point of being liked or being accepted, and so compromise myself standing as an equal with all others no matter what is within my mind as desires and ideas as I realize these do not serve life as the outflow consequences of these actions of putting myself before others, and so I see and understand this creates a point of abuse to others and so eventually with myself as I live within the cycle of the mind as polarities of positive and negative experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and see myself as not equal to others based on my ideas and beliefs I have participated in and created of myself that I am not good enough or not as good as others within skills or actions, and so create a point of inferiority within myself not honoring the principle of treating myself as I would like to be treated in a way that is best for me and life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own anger and disappointment within myself when I don’t live this principle of caring for life equally as I want for myself and I see that I haven’t been living in a way that is of self care or self respect and so I am not in a stand to live and walk this with others although I pretend as if I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my self integrity of living within principles of what is best for life by continuing to exist within self abuse and so abusing others in my reality through my thoughts, and so words, and then living these words out that are in separation to what is best for all and so myself as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to participate within my mind as judgments and emotions and feelings about myself and the external world not realizing, seeing, and understanding that this is my creation and I am showing to myself that I am not living the principle of treat others with care as how i would want for myself, and so my world is not then aligning to this care and equality as I am not living this within myself. I am the creator and so the creation of what it is my life is showing me, self abuse and so self compromise at this moment of my self creation process.

When and as I see I am going into a point of separating myself by judgment or belief, opinion, or idea, I stop and breath, and realize that these mind participations within physical reality is taking me out of physical reality and directing me into areas that I don’t have directive principle within because the mind is vast and has directive principle through energy and structural alignments within interdimensional dimensions of this physical existence.

When and as I see i am going into points where I am not treating others as how I would like to be treated or treating myself in a way that is not what is best, I stop and breath, and realize that I am in self abuse and this is only compromising and sabotaging my ability to create myself in what is best for all and so create this as my expression and my life.

I commit myself to let go of the mind dimensions of polarity when I see I am bringing these energetic points up within me.

I commit myself to use breath and walk the points of physical reality where I am able to ground myself and find a stable movement where I can move through the energetic pull to follow my mind patterns of thoughts, emotions/feelings, or imagination beliefs and use my physical body as a grounding point.

I commit myself to find practical physical based solutions that will support others as well as myself to do what is best for all.

I commit myself to let go of the reactions to others as I move through and let them go of getting my needs met, and so I commit myself to move to consider others before myself and find the common ground within a solution that will benefit all involved.

Suggest reading:
Day 116: Re-Defining Words to Living Words

Day 5: In the Beginning was God

Also, listening to these Supportive vlogs:

From Energy to Sound - Atlanteans' Support - Part 63
From Speaking to Sounding Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans' Support - Part 64
Finding your Stability Voice/Sound - Atlanteans' Support - Part 65


Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Related articles

• Day 418: What God taught Me when I met Him
• How to Let Go of Bullying Memories (part 1) - Day 50
• Day 223: Self Judgements and Feeling Bad
• Day 151: Principle of Self-Purification
• 403. How to Stop Living in Defense Mode
• Day 286: Understanding and Living by the Principle of What is Best for All

What is the Physical Showing Me? Stomach Nervousness - Day 413

Writing the Pattern out the Physical is Showing:

Looking within the direct seeing of the physical, the stomach nervousness, the acidic nature of it, causing it to burn in my stomach feeling like I am creating holes within my physical flesh, this the physical consequence of the energy allowing to be created over and over again everytime I go into this nervousness. This being physically lived through the disease that has manifested in my physical body called Crohns disease. The point that is causing this is with a group of people where I judging my physical features and judging and comparing myself to them based on this point of seeing myself inferior to them. This only causing my physical to get damaged in this way due to the point that I am creating it.

Self Forgiveness on Pattern of Nervousness/Anxiety:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become anxious and create energy of an acidic nature within my body due to the fear points that are created within me of seeing myself less then others and fearing being viewed in this way by them as less then due to this judgment I hold that I am not able to compete because I am not physically equal to them in our picture.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my physical form within a limitation of image only and compare image only to others in a way to try and gain feelings of appreciation and admiration from others through being better looking and thus creating the opposite as a conflict point within myself of this idea I have created that I have to be beautiful to be accepted. And so I experience the opposite as being ugly and thus less then those who are beautiful. I realize this creates always a polarity within me of separating myself from all that are here who in the physical are in fact equals to me, we are not separate based on image that is illusion we are here as life as we are all physical and we are in fact equal as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a physical reaction within my physical body of acidity and burning of the physical stomach line based on using my mind only to interpret reality and what is here happening within what others do to me or act towards me creating a specific relationship with these actions or sayings in where I take it personally. I realize that it is not personal but more a point of showing the physical reactions of what is here and has to be transcended in the moment for me and for others to let go of the physical as image, as ideas, as pictures only, and see it for what it is here as one with all life, no matter the form, and thus being able to direct the point into a stability of realizing that we both equally have the right to be here and enjoy this expression within what it is and what it will be in the potential that is always here to be one and equal with the life within and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have this relationship of how others look, behave, or speak around me determine who I am within my beingness, I realize that I as well as all are not perfect within what is here and thus have points still that need aligning when relevant, but what is here is here and thus I walk the equality of what is here within what will be best for all until it is done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cause physical harm to my body as disease in my stomach from the fear and nervousness where I created this belief that I am at a lost within myself, I need something more, I need more entertainment points for me to be able to be satisfied instead of realizing I am already here, I already have the point to walk to be here and thus access my real potential as life to support what will be best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create burns in my stomach based on judging my physical body and not seeing it as good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body as not good enough based on a mind interpretation of how others I perceive are seeing me as my body instead of standing as my physical and with my physical in acceptance instead of looking for it out there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept myself within the point of my physical image and thus I realize I need to unconditionally let go of the desire to be more or better and see what is here direct as physical life in each moment as it really is as physical beings living and breathing.

Self Correction of the Pattern of Anxiety/Nervousness:

When and as I go into any movement of judgment or perception of how others see me and go into thoughts of taking it personal as ‘they are seeing me as ugly’ I stop and breath, and immediately let go of the thought, breath through the energy, and release the energy through breathing until it is clear. I can walk the point of allowing the other to do what they do and focus on my own communication, my own physical movements, and what the other is saying within learning from them to be able to align and direct myself in the best way possible to support what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop the fear of judgment of my physical by committing myself to let go of all and every thought or energy of burning sensation or tightness in my stomach, and move myself to focus on my physical, my breath, and what the other is saying.

I commit to listen to the words regardless of the movements of the other.

I commit myself to focus on what is being said and stop specifying on what the person is doing.

I commit myself to let go unconditionally any and all gestures others make towards me as I realize that it is a physical point and that is what is here to be faced by each one.

I commit myself to push through the point of limiting myself due to fear and inferiority, and walk the process in all moments to align myself with the fact that we are equals.

Cool Support to Help Transforming Nervousness to Self Empowerment:

Deconstructing Nervousness - Atlanteans - Part 89
Overcoming Nervousness - Atlanteans - Part 90
Overcoming Nervousness (Part 2) - Atlanteans - Part 91
Sounding Self Forgiveness for Nervousness - Atlanteans - Part 92
Finalising Nervousness Support - Atlanteans - Part 93

Join Us:

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Journey to Life Group - On Facebook

Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related

Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians

Destonian Social Network

Eqafe - Self Perfection Support

Equal Life Foundation - Site

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Day 308 - Are you in Control of your Mind or are you Mind Controlled?

What I have understood through the desteni material and realized through my own practice of the tools they share through the ‘process’ that is recommended to walk is that the mind is not just a simple thing that is to be mistaken for a part of human life, we have never really spoken about the mind in any authority as we do with the physical world because we have never understood why in fact we speak as thoughts within our mind, and where and how these thoughts and thinking are created within us. We know the physical in a sense because we can see it, dissect it, study it tangibly, and test it to gain a relative definition and understanding of what the physical is in our world, with the mind though such as a thought, we can do none of this. We know the effects of these thinking patterns have on the behavior of a person and at times what feels like possessions that come over us through bouts of emotion or feeling that are created through the thinking, but again, no one can explain in detail and specificity, where emotions and feelings come from, how in our body/mind they are created, what are they for, and questions such as how can they be natural if we know nothing about them? 

This is self honestly for yourself to consider and have a look at in your own life, you can see evidence of this involuntary and absolute certainty of the mind creating these thoughts and emotions within an anger outburst for instance, it comes up due to thoughts accumulated towards another over and over that can not be voluntarily stopped, and then the emotions will rise and rise until eventually you will be triggered by an external force and blow up and release the energy of anger within what has been accumulating.  So we are moved due to our thoughts and then the accumulation of energy through the thinking of these thoughts over time to then have a outburst that is not self directed nor self controlled, but is what feels like forced through the mind to engage in the environment in this way as a release of all the energy built up within oneself, so the question here is are we really in control as we presume we are or is it all our mind?

We speak often of mind control, like monks and sages having control over there minds and thus being able to direct there body into extremes within human capacity that the ‘average’ human couldn’t believe could be possible. I remember when I was in primary school, a father came in and he was a tae kwon do master/teacher, so he was highly trained in this martial art, and he said something that completely baffled my young mind at that time. He said he sat still for 8 hours with out moving once. I couldn’t believe that this was possible, I put myself within his shoes and tried to imagine myself being able to sit for 8 hours, and I just could not fathom that it was possible, I didn’t have the patients, the control of my mind and my body to stay put for that long, but the question still remains is, is it beyond the human capacity to control the mind and thus direct self for instance in this case to sit for 8 hours? No, as proof of this tae kwon do teacher, it is possible, one need to use tools, and realize in physical reality how this is possible and walk the steps to master it. The imagination of me as a child though was not controlled and thus was not directed within reality in common sense, so I completely got possessed by this line of thinking in my imagination, and from that point on never believed it would ever be possible for me to do such a thing, it’s too hard, I am to impatient, I would be so bored, what would I do, and so never allowed myself to walk this path as I had given up before I even tried due to the mind controlling and possessing me into the imagination thought pattern of defeat.

Now, here this is an interesting way of seeing our reality, me as a child in this instance, being taken over in that moment by the mind and absolutely giving up before I even tried, and really having absolutely no desire for movement to do anything in this sort of manner, of controlling the mind, having self discipline, mastering patience, breathing through uncomfortablity, angst, and committing myself to become a person who is able to direct myself to do something that is not within the realm of what I could believe myself to do. Although I don’t advise to sit in one spot for 8 hours, the act of self discipline, self control, mind control, and stability this teacher showed is quite honorable thing though as it definitely takes a form of effort and self will and mastering one’s own capacity of belief and stimna.

But my point here is the point of where the mind as me as a child so easily took me to self defeatism, self giving up and giving in, self sabotage as these thoughts and imagination scenarios, like a tv show going off somewhere in my mind in another realm or dimension within my body I can’t, see, touch, nor smell, but it in all ways has absolute control of who I am. And what kind of human being did this create within me as this mind that I was listening to and allowing and accepting to direct me in this one instance out of countless instances within my life up to the point of finding desteni, it brought me to become a person that is not in control or has little to no self will and thus within this outlook of myself brought on no real point of self respect or self directiveness. I suggest to read my earlier blogs for proof of this claim and evidence of the way in which I saw and behaved towards myself and my world, all within the starting point of self sabotage and self inferiority, and I am sure you will recognize these patterns as well within yourself.

The mind has complete control of the human being in this life, we don’t really know what this mind is nor what it consists of or operates from or as, and thus is this something we should blindly trust and become directed by so easily as we do? Is the mind a point of life affirmation and creating an optimum world and betterment for the life that is here? No obviously, ok, if not, why not? We can see through the evidence of this world, this creative power we call our mind is not our own, is not self power as life power as self direction, but has a mind of it’s own within our minds as our physical, quite a tongue full, lol, but worth investigating. Study and research the links for more unprecedented and mind blowing material, videos, articles, and first hand experiences with walking the mind of self, and how one can walk a process to control it and thus direct it not only for what is best for self, but what is best for all to create a world worth living in. 

The mind is not the enemy nor the victor, it is us, we have to take self responsibility as it and direct ourselves in all ways of considering life in equality and what is best for all, using the mind as an equal part in this equation through accepting and allowing what is best in self honesty, and always correcting self to live in this standard into eternity. This is not a process that can be walked alone, there is support and much research done on the mind and self within it, I suggest investigate desteni to find out more. 

I leave you with another fitting quote by Loa Tzu, enjoy:

“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.”

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
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