Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Update: How I Have Been Letting Go of Self Judgment - Day 442




Updating on my process of letting go of self judgment, this I have walked in many blogs and vlogs. Thanks.

"Here I speak on some points on how I have started to walk the self judgment of myself to a point of letting it go. What tools and support have I used to help identify and let go of these triggers that send me in the downward spiral of the consequences of judging myself? And how I am continuing to walk this transcendence of living with self compromise to become a self directed human being?"


Some Blogs I have written on self judgment:
Day 281 – Self Judgment – The Point I don’t Want to Face
Day 282 – Self Judgment – Fueling the Imprisonment of Self as the Mind
Day 283 – Self Judgment – Judging My Physical – The ‘Flawed’ Eye
Day 284 – Self Judgment – Judging My Physical – The ‘Flawed’ Eye – Self Commitments to Live – Part 1

Check Out these Awesome and Life Supporting sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Stubbornness: What am I making more difficult then it has to be? Day 441



So tonight I listened to the second recording of the very supportive series from eqafe about stubbornness, and in this discussion they spoke about some key points that I found helpful, one being that when taking on the mind within the process being walked in these journey to life blogs as well as the desteni group in general, is we have to take on all parts of our mind that are coming up equally ensuring all parts are considered and taken on with equal capacity. I found this important to look into for myself because I to have seen myself go into a form of ‘favoring’ some parts of my mind I would like to change, where other parts of myself I chose to look the other way or push it to the future because facing them seems way to difficult and other excuses are used like I am not ready yet.

This has now come to the point where I have walked quite a bit within my mind and have made some progress on myself, though I see other parts of my world where I am still tending to make my life more difficult by resisting the points that are intense and serving the mind through following it rather then serving myself as life and directing my life in a way that is best for all. I have had enough with a specific point that I have been now walking over a few years and it still has had power over me, this point being the judgment of my physical body. I have made this process more difficult then it needs to be because I have allowed my thoughts to take over and the energy that goes with these thoughts overwhelm me rather than living here in my physical body and stopping myself through breath. I have proven to myself that I am able to do this in other points I have stopped, showing that I am able to do in all points of my mind as the tools and the principles as well as the living application remains the same. 

Another point that I have also found which had contributed to making my process more difficult is that I had started to write less and less and within doing this my application and effectiveness was becoming less and less. I realized what I was doing on some level was just living out the resistances I had already participated in my mind and now was manifesting into my reality as feeling lethargic and depressed, and so had no energy or desire to move myself. All a consequence of continuing to exist in the self defeatist thoughts and the energies of despair and resentment.  I made excuses and justification overpower my actual will to stop, and because I was not supporting myself with the tools that have always been available, I was not making progress on these points and so empowering the mind more then my living self.

And of course this had consequence in my world and reality, where I became more reclusive then open and comfortable with others, where I would become more reactive and take things personal rather than stable and understanding, and where I would go into deep emotional highs and lows and not stand effective in my application of change that I had set out for myself to do. So I realized that if I do not support myself with the tools that are available, the writing of self forgiveness and self correction and then living the change, I would fall more and more into the mind. The tools being the key for the walking of this process as doing it alone or going about it in resistance and giving into the resistance makes this process much more difficult then it needs to be and so the living of my life much more difficult then it needs to be.


Pushing through resistances in all forms and keeping consistent in the application of the basics as they are called and as I wrote above, is the support structure in place to support life to birth ourselves into the physical, back to what is real, back to who we really are, and allowing the stubbornness experience to continue in this way of making my process and my life more difficult is just plain stupid. So I will continue on with this point in my next blog and implement self forgiveness and self commitments to ensure my application of consistency and stability remains steadfast as I remain here walking breath by breath. Thanks for reading.

Interview Support on the topic of Stubbornness:
Stubbornness: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 154
Stubbornness: Overcoming - Atlanteans - Part 155
Stubbornness: Practical Application - Atlanteans - Part 156
Stubbornness: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 157
Stubbornness: Redesigning - Atlanteans - Part 158
Physical Sound - Atlanteans - Part 159
The Consequences of Speaking - Atlanteans - Part 160
Stubbornness: Independence, Dependence, Interdependence - Atlanteans - Part 161

Check Out these Awesome and Life Supporting sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Monday, December 22, 2014

Stubbornness: How am I creating this within myself? – Day 440



I listened to the first interview in the Atlantean’s series on the construct of stubbornness that I have placed on the bottom of this blog, it was on the understanding of how stubbornness is created within us, and how it effects our lives within ourselves and with other people. Some insightful take aways that I realized is that to go into stubbornness is a form of serving the mind because I am allowing the experience of ‘I can do things alone’ for instance hinder my opportunity to gain assistance and support from other people in my world. I often go into this experience where I don’t want to be helped or supported by another and use stubbornness to not have to engage with others so I can protect my mind, my fears, and my self belief that I have things under control.

Realizing that within this fear and belief of myself I am compromising my self development as well as potentially harming my physical body by not considering if I really do need help or not, but just become driven by fear and the desire to have things my way. The fear being that I will come to a point with another where I will be challenged, and through that challenge I could potentially fall or fail and so be vulnerable by others to judge me or attack me. I fear this based on the fact that within myself I have judged and attacked others for falling or failing in some way or another. So because I do that within my backchat towards others, I will hold back and shy away from allowing other people into my world to support me and thus expand myself into situations where I will be challenged and tested on who I am, thus stunting and compromising myself.

Stubbornness is the experience within myself I use to continue to exist within this pattern, I have seen it many times come up in my current relationship with my partner, where I do not want to face the fact that I am in fear and so rather then taking responsibility, will attack and go into a form of stubbornness in not having to face myself in the request of my partner to do something I am uncomfortable with.

So this is a cool point to understand for myself and show that when I start to see this point of wanting to be alone, resisting getting support from others, and not walking the tools that are here on a consistent basis to move myself through points that are consequential, I then can move and implement the changes I construct to stop this pattern from taking over and serve myself as life and walk the process to align with life here in the physical as I move myself here in the self correction process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that who I am within and as stubbornness is creating a form of servancy to the mind as the enslavement of life by compromising my potential to expand and grow with other’s support through resisting it and wanting to do things on my own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that who I am being within myself in these moments where I go into the stubbornness of not wanting to hear or receive support from other’s is someone who is pushing against the grain, pushing and resisting other people and their words, and creating consequence that is harmful and destructive to the opportunity that is here to build relationships with others as a point of living and implementing oneness and equality in who I am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within this experience of stubbornness go into hiding the fact from myself that I am in fear of facing challenges that I will surely face with others where I don’t know what will come and so what I will need to do or have in place to get through it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into sturbbornness and essentially dilude my abilities here to change who I am to become more skilled, learn more, engage more, and so expand more with others because of this fear of failing or being judged by others for messing up.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let go of the fear of being judged or failing at something as I realize, see, and understand within falling or failing in something you are given a gift of seeing who you are and how you can change through the miss-take to perfect that point in the trys ahead and so slowly become more specified in my application and push myself beyond my limits and expand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to engage in judgment and making fun and rejecting others who have fallen or messed up or failed in something to then make myself feel more important, though realizing this just creates the entrapment within the cycle of fear of movement as I myself will then fear what I have created with others, continuing the cycle of harm and abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse others when they have taken a miss-take and used there hardship for my gain in self interest to feel good or positive about myself cause I wasn’t the one who failed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use another being for my personal gain instead of standing equal to another and realizing they are me in another pair of shoes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the form of stubbornness to not have to face myself in real time with challenges and can escape into myself and the comfort of my own habits by myself only answering to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking responsibility for myself and so for others when I have to face challenges in my life and so use stubbornness to not have to move myself beyond my fears and limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing me here in reality and so I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand I have created the now manifesting consequences in the physical, and so I have to walk through and face these consequences once and for all and so stop postponing my process of change and so the process of changing life into a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the experience of stubbornness to postpone the inevitable of facing myself here in reality and changing to be a being of correction of self integrity and creating solutions that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue waiting and postponing for myself and so use stubbornness to hide within and escape for a time period that will end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste time and not move beyond my limitations as stubbornness and expand myself in the potential that I see is possible.

When and as I see I am going into a form of postponement or stubbornness within the act of avoiding facing myself, I stop and breath, and realize this will only prolong the inevitable of having to change myself here or in the hereafter, I will face myself, I realize I have all the tools and the will and the ability to walk it here on earth where it counts.

I commit myself to breath when I see the experience of stubbornness comes up to not move myself and physically move myself to go into the physical opportunity that is here to face myself and change.

I commit myself to face my fears and move myself in physical reality beyond my limitations and boundaries through breath.

I commit myself to use the tools as much as I am able to to ensure I walk all the points necessary and continue to move forward in my process of self creation.

I commit myself to stop allowing abdication of my responsibility through hiding in stubbornness by taking on more projects with others and becoming more social.

I commit myself to push my communication with others and push through the experience to do things on my own and go into my comfort zone.


I commit myself to stop escaping reality into my mind as comfort zones and always push myself into the uncomfortableness of reality as myself as I realize this is where change is for the best.


Interview Support on the topic of Stubbornness:
Stubbornness: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 154
Stubbornness: Overcoming - Atlanteans - Part 155
Stubbornness: Practical Application - Atlanteans - Part 156
Stubbornness: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 157
Stubbornness: Redesigning - Atlanteans - Part 158
Physical Sound - Atlanteans - Part 159
The Consequences of Speaking - Atlanteans - Part 160
Stubbornness: Independence, Dependence, Interdependence - Atlanteans - Part 161


Check Out these Awesome and Life Supporting sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Stubbornness Dissected - Who am I within this? Day 439



I have come to realize that I am quite a stubborn person, I have a hard time not getting my way and having to adhere to another’s way of doing things. I have for a while wanted to deny this aspect of myself or simply run away from it because to look at this means I have to face it and change it. I find that within this fear of facing myself within stubbornness, I fear losing my stand I have believed myself to have with others in my world of getting my needs met and making sure that I survive or get taken care of, because in essence if I don’t take care of myself, who will? Though, I have taken this belief of myself to an extreme point where I have believed myself to be able to handle everything, I don’t need anyone in my life, I don’t need help, I can take care of myself, and within standing within this stubborn belief of myself, I have in ways stood alone.

There is benefit’s to having this stand within self as this allows for self sufficiency and self empowerment, but also it can lead to an unbalanced relationship with other people in my world where I push them away and not embrace the ‘gifts’ they have to share with me, be it the treasures of companionship or the harsh reality of facing who I really am in the eyes of another. This truth of self especially coming from an outside source is where I go into a wall of stone cold, where I have an extremely difficult time allowing someone to show me where I am doing something wrong or where I can improve on something. This is specific to the person as each person I meet I find there is a different relationship that develops, but with specific people I have created myself in relation to them in ways where I find myself comfortable and my nature or who I have created as my personalities catered to based on the personality of the other, these relationships I desire as there is an easement to them and I am usually able to get my way eventually.

Now with endeavoring on the desteni I process and standing as a point of living example for those who come after me, I am here and have committed myself to see myself for who I really am, change my nature, and report openly and self honestly to those who will read this. I am finding that I have to correct and change myself to fit into all walks of life, the easy and the difficult, the comfortable and the uncomfortable, I can no longer escape into my comfort zone of just seeking the easy and comfortable path, I have put myself in a position where I stand until I in fact do or stand to lose much in the way of not standing. As within reality there is always consequence to the decisions we make, I no more can pretend that all will be good and the universe will take care of me, as I realize I am a universe unto myself and I am the creator of myself so no one is going to take care of me, I have to take care of myself meaning I have to correct my living to align with life and what is best for all. There is simply no other logical or harmonious way to go about living my life realizing these facts that what is best for all is the law of the universe and treating and considering others as equal and one to self is life.

So I have come to start writing and correcting myself within this current realization of seeing myself within the understanding that I am stubborn and am determined to get my own way without considering all the dimensions of this desire push. I have currently been facing this in my agreement so will walk some self forgiveness in relation to this as well as walking the correction process.

Thanks for reading. 

Interview Support on the topic of Stubbornness:


Check Out these Awesome and Life Supporting sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site