Self Forgiveness Challenge – Competition – Day 517

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Day 4 -

I have found one of the roots to the abuse and turmoil in my life can be flowed from this one point of participation, and that is competition. Competition comes up in relation to many different scenarios and context, but it stems from experience of lack within self. This lack is seeking to be fulfilled through a source outside, and so the competition of oneself and another ensues causing many outflow consequences that are not best for all. To understand competition on a more in depth level it is where within self there is a point one is not wanting to take responsibility for, and through that point of not wanting to take responsibility, competition is created in a race to fulfill a craving to win and be better. Competition can also be seen as a form of distraction, one that is destructive in most cases, to suppress the actual real issue that driving this desire to be better and that is not wanting to face the real issue which is self needs to change in a way that is best for all.

Self forgiveness on this point:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to compete with another person in a way were it’s not causing harm, when I see, realize, and understand the internal energies that is fueling this behavior is one of superiority, ruthlessness, and desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a desire to become more then another and so within that have apparently more power in the relationship, when I see, realize, and understand I am only compromising myself due to the desire to gain something that I don’t believe I can give to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of self abdication to the responsibility of changing myself and becoming the solution that is here to support what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to seek my own self gratification over others, where I will deliberately seek out my own self interest and advancement within the understanding that others will not receive and so loss.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek over others, and so take another’s share in this world, where I have more than needed and another ends up with less.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live the equality equation within all movements in my life, where I assess and direct my outflows to be that which is best for all rather than only supporting myself to move forward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea that I am more advanced then another person if I am winning in a competition with them either directly or indirectly in my mind, and create an idea of myself that I am inherently better than the other, looking down upon them and creating a feeling of superiority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become ruthless within who I am in competition where I will seek my own self gratification in a moment of instant gratification where another will lose out as I gain more, and so exist within a form of abuse where I take and another loses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately know that I am taking from another and continue to do so due to the addiction of believing I am better and more and so safe from abuse from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the abuser and so create abuse in an escape from my own fear of abuse from others who compete with me, and so perpetuate the competition playout of win and loss over many scenarios and beings in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of self abuse where I believe I have to compete to survive and so do it out of fear of death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed energy as fear as a driving force within me to compete and so create consequences that are not best for all, when I see, realize, and understand that this equation can be lived out and considered in each breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live in breath here and consider each movement I make in what is best for all, where I take responsibility for myself and actions, and support solutions that will support all.

When and as I see myself go into the desire to win, I stop and breath, and realize this will outflow into a form of abuse either to myself or another.

I commit myself to move into the equality equation of what is best.

I commit myself to take responsibility for my fear and move into a calmness where I can live the word physical here as all are here equal to myself.

I commit myself to find solutions that are best for all and stop the desire to win.

I commit myself to live the word competition in a way of understanding what is best through trail and error, and determining through groups and test what is best for all if not apparently understood, and that which is supportive for all in all moments.

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"Don't question My Authority" Character and Solution - Day 505

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A pattern I am noticing at my work that I have been participating in and not taking responsibility for has been when I am becoming irritated at others, not outright or not even a lot of the time, but there are moments where I will become irritated and frustrated as if I allowed these back chat thoughts to accumulate and then they come out in behavior or specific energy presences I’ll be in toward these people. What I am starting to realize more and more is that even though I may seem like I am not effecting others or I am not out right reacting to others in my presence, that even small resistances or irritations that I hold in, resonately can be felt by others and their behavior will in turn change. Before I started taking more and more responsibility for my thought, word, and deed, I would blame the other person for being the problem, reacting and causing a situation in the office or where ever we are, it was them not me. Though now, I am seeing how my very behavior, even in the slightest of movements or non-movements that I make, even one word that I say where I am in a slight reaction, overtime or even in that moment will change the person receiving my behavior and reactions in a way that is not supportive, and thus I can effect and change another persons presence and so have outflows in this instance that are not best for all, which is unacceptable.

So I am learning and realizing the responsibility I do hold within walking and being aware as I am of my own mind, my own thoughts, my own reactions, and having the tools of self support and self change I have been walking for six years now, I realize I must move myself to change myself always, it is always the question of ‘who am I in this moment?;. Those in my environment are not the one’s who are responsible at this stage because they have little to no knowledge of self honesty and self forgiveness, and thus their only access to becoming this is through my example and my living presence of myself. So I am moving myself here and forward to stop all reactions within me and not move until I am clear within looking at myself first before I speak or assist another person.

I will be walking the pattern/character that is playing out here in this specific scenario with another person at work and the solutions/living words I will support myself with to not accept anything less then what is best for all and changing myself to become my highest potential.

The character I saw that was playing out within this specific scenario is where my authority was being thwarted and I was becoming competitive and fearful of another attempting to tell me what to do and how to do my job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the character of being the authority over others and placing value in this as if I am more then or superior to others, where I am believing myself to have the right and the privilege to direct and not be questioned or told what to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become superior within my work position because I hold a leadership role over others and have created the belief that I am more then others or better equipped to be in this position and blindly placed a higher value in myself then others in my working environment because of this perceived authority I have over others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive I have the right to tell people what to do and be pushy if I need to be to get people moving.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need to use force to move people rather then living the words patience, gentleness, and support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able and have the right to not be questioned due to what I have to do and deal with at work, when I see, realize, and understand that I am not considering nor standing in anyone else’s shoes, but my own and desiring sympathy and recognition from others for what I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become nasty and spiteful toward others when I am not seen within an authority stand point and so within this become reactive in my backchat that this person is stepping out of line and that I should be respected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a power trip where I believe myself to be special and more then others based on what I do rather then see, realize, and understand that we are all doing work and all are equally here to be honored and respected for participating and supporting the flow of the work done and doing our best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only see the bad of another and harp on that instead of seeing, realizing and understanding it’s not about the other at all, but who am I within what I do, how do I behave, and where am I standing within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be more based on the placement I am in in the company instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that it’s about each one being equals and supporting all to be there best as I support myself to stand in my best and do what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop moving in energy as irritation and take responsibility for myself where I see I am able to change and live the word support, where I can stand as a support for another when the moment arises rather then going into reaction and conflict.

I commit myself to see all in my work place as well as my world as equals and each one playing a role/part to support the whole of the business grow and stay prosperous.

I commit myself to stand with others as equals realizing that my role is not based on what I do but who I am within what I do and how I stand as a supportive example for others to be the best they can be.

I commit myself to live the word humility and see what I can learn from others and be assisted within their presence to grow and expand.

I commit myself to live the words patience’s and gentleness with others as how I would like to be treated if I was in the same position.

I commit myself to write out the systems and directions and become more self directed, so I can become a leader that is effective and supports all to be the best they can be.

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Redefining and Living the Word - Weakness - Day 411

Writing the Point Out

How I would describe weakness is within a negative energetic pattern I experience often within myself in relation to points I have judged in a negative way. I resist this word as well as all negatively charged experiences associated with this word as much as possible.

These experiences are all patterned with the feeling of inferiority or dread, like I am being trapped or caged and am not able or scared to be stuck in this way forever.  Why I resist this word is due to the feeling of weakness being a limitation where I will be seen as bad or negative to another and so within myself I am seeing others as well as myself in weak way if something I judge as weak is lived out in them or myself.

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge weakness as a bad word to be labeled with due to memories of judging others as weak and observing others when one is called weak and how they/myself are ignored or ridiculed or belittled in some way or another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist the word weakness or being labeled by another as weak based on the belief that weakness is a opening up for being ridiculed, belittled, or seen as a lesser person then others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen as weak and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being ridiculed, belittled, or made to feel inferior by others if I would be called weak or seen as weak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach abuse to the word weak and so resist this word being spoken to me at all times.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word weak as an attack word towards others to abuse them and make them feel in this way that I would not want to feel as inferior and less then.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word weak as fighting words and so hurt others with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a bully and hurt other people with words such as weakness.

Weakness Direct Definition

Weakness in it’s direct definition is a physical amount of depth and material to make an object in reality in a state of weakness compared to another object in reality that has more materials and depth within it to make it hold more weight thus be stronger.

Weakness is also a place in self where it is showing that points need to be looked at and worked with to support to become the highest potential, so when I hear or am associated with the word weak, I realize that this is a flag word to listen to and see where it is that I can learn and strengthen myself to correct that which is being shown to me so I can be the highest potential in the physical. It’s not to be taken personal as I realize who I am as a person learning and growing within myself and my action in the physical, and so I let go of the energy associated with the word weakness and work with the physical application to strengthen and so perfect that which is showing signs of misalignment or weakness in my world.

Self Corrective Statements

When and as I am called or associated with the word weakness or weak, I stop and breath and realize that this word is simple a word that is describing a specific situation or occurrence in reality, I do not have to let it define me, but can use it as a tool to support in self growth.

I commit myself to see the word weak within a way that is centered in self support in where I learn where to change and improve myself through what is being shown as weak in my living.

I commit myself to stop taking the word weak personal by breathing through the energy and finding what the point is being shared with me.

I commit myself to let go of the energy attachment to the word as negative and look at the words in reality to see where it is that I am being shown where I need more work and application through flagging the word weak.

I commit myself to flag the word weak, breath through the energy, and find a solution to where it is I can grow and become more strengthened in my resolve to move through the mind and live as physical direct here.

Cool Support to Help With Redefining Words:

Redefining Care - Reptilians - Part 266
Redefining Value - Reptilians - Part 267
Redefining Humble & Considerate - Reptilians - Part 272

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Day 282 – Self Judgment – Fueling the Imprisonment of Self as the Mind

So the point I am looking at here within this point of self-judgment is when I see someone rub there eyes around me or go and touch their eyes. You may be like what the heck, why does that bother me when someone touches there eyes, and for me there is like a mile long of emotions, memories, and thought patterns that are being activated at times during this point of people rubbing there eyes around me. I mean this seems very unusual and like not important, but this point has been very tough to transcend because of me accepting and allowing my mind to define me within the perception, interpretation, and definitions of who I believed myself to be as what my mind was saying to me specifically within this case when people would rub their eyes around me.

Now my mind is me because of the way I have participated in it, designed it within how I interpreted and kept that which I believed to be me as a definition I would hold of myself and use over and over again in my living, and thus created my external world according to what I was telling myself as my mind in thoughts, pictures, imaginations, and backchats. This is what I have been creating within myself over the years taking bits and pieces of my external environment, moments in time, specific looks, celebrity looks, past memories of abuse, (ect) and carrying this with me like a heavy bag on my back bringing it here to make me feel bad about myself and lock me into the same depression cycle that comes up every time I have this point of someone rubbing there eyes. It’s like this physical point of suppression and depression I exist as within this playout, and it’s based in these memories of being called a retard in school and believing that this point of my eye is a point that makes me this way and why people were calling me this. I believed I was what others were saying to me because of this belief about myself, and thus I put myself as vulnerable to this abuse, attack, and humiliation because I believe I deserved this and this is who I am inferior to others, I accepted and allowed this of myself as within myself I always inherently believed I was less then others. (This is how I saw myself and judged this word 'retard' during this time I am writing about now, I will in blogs to come redefine and look at the attachments I hold to this word, and walk a point of correction once and for all to stop my judgments and separations towards this word and thus those in this world that have to live in this way.)

So this imprisonment feeling I am describing here really started back in school when kids would call me this, and I realized that my eye on the left side is misshaped or not completely symmetrical with my other eye, which created the reason for me being called this and thus this was something that was true then I reasoned. And when these certain people called me retard, I immediately connected this to the shape of my eye and how it is messed up, and so I believed that they were making fun of me based on this point with my eye. So I grew this great resistance to this specific eye and would be very much focused on it within interactions with others in public, and in my mind the thoughts would race, ‘do they think I am ugly?’, ‘do they think I look retarded’, ‘do they see me as inferior to them?’ ‘they are so much more confident and better looking, I am inferior’, so thoughts like this, making myself completely disempowered within my mind because I am only focusing on what my mind is telling me about this point rather then the physical interaction, what is being said, who we are as life, and so I eventually grew to a point where I could barely talk to others in public because I started to see this rubbing of the eyes everywhere I went.

This rubbing of the eyes was a reaction to seeing my face at times because of the way my eye is shaped for others, it is what it is really, but I have accepted this now and realize the insignificance to this or rather the reality of it, but to get to this point of where I am now with accepting it as a reality of myself and that it does in no way define me is miles away from where I was in the past. It was really a decision and a decision I continually have to walk for myself in each breath as at that time I never believed I could move beyond this point.

Because it was a point of a creation of a prison within myself, what I have created as this perception of myself and it was being held in place and thus I was being imprisoned within it through the self judgment I constantly was participating in within myself every day I was living. I was seeing myself through my mind and through the external world of how my mind perceived things. This was the point of enslavement because I was giving my power away to the mind, I was allowing the mind as myself to direct me and tell me who I am, and within this the mind consciousness system used this against myself because the mind is aware and is trying to survive just like me, it’s survives through me as my energy production, so it’s interest is energy not life as me in support. So it’s been quite a road with this point of inferiority and it was continued and fueled over many years through my acceptance and participation of self-judgment. I will walk the more specific points of how I created this imprisonment within my mind and the points where I haven't faced yet due to fear in blogs to come with self forgiveness and self commitments.

Thanks for reading.

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Day 281 – Self Judgment – The Point I don’t Want to Face

So within the past year I have been specifically working with and walking through multiple points and dimensions of self judgment that I have created in relationship to myself, my physical body, and my interactions with others. I had created a possession point within myself with self judgment where I became isolated and could hardly face people because of what was going on within my mind. I have since realized and understood within my investigation of myself as self judgment and great support from desteni sources, that self judgment is my own creation, I am doing this to myself as I am keeping it alive in essence within myself, my thoughts, my backchats, my memories, and thus my living actions. I have found it is based on a point of not wanting to give up my image of control within the image I present as someone who is superior to others. I have always desired to be superior and thus gain power through becoming this image that is presented as superior that I have created in my mind.

This image is created through pictures, media, consumerism, people, past moments, characters I liked, and I use this archive of knowledge and information not only to design me as superior, but also to the design as inferior. I have now defined a specific image and design of what is superior, and now I must live up to that or else I am inferior. So this creating the perfect play out for me to exist within self judgment fueled by comparison in trying to be an image that can not be reached in my mind as superior because it is not real, and thus I torture myself with the play out of self judgment because of me seeing through the mind in self interest and not what is real as the physical as me.

So my image, what I present to others was very important to me and had to be perfect, otherwise I lose my opportunity for what I truly desire and craved, and this attention and admiration from others, this obviously boosted my ego and feeling about myself as superior. So within my mind I had created quite the perfected image and design I had to live up to, and when this design and image was faced in reality, I fell very hard. I will walk this point of a playout that lasted for many years, and open it up and release it within me so I can befree of it, this the point I haven’t wanted to face.

So in my next blog I will start at the pits of this hellish experience I was starting to live out within self judgment that I blamed on others, but realizing now it was all me.


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Day 275 – Redefining the Word Winner to be Lived By All

Winner

So I, a few blogs back, redefined the word loser in relation to the polarity of the different energies we can exist within our minds as a negative as a loser and a positive as a winner for instance, but what has been clear through my own self investigation and should be clear within the obviousness of how we experience ourselves within these energies, is that they never last. We are always searching for more positive energy as winning in life and less negative energy as losing in life, but there is a way to live in stability, grounding ourselves to what is here in reality, what is really being lived, and living our words in their real purpose, which means to create words in what is best for all, universal meanings and to what their practical purpose is. Again, the word winner will have to be purified within self as all words will have to as each word carries attachments with them, different meanings, memories, pictures, definitions to thus be able to really live the word for what it's purpose is, and not be directed by our self interest within the word in what purpose we want it to have.

I will now redefine this word and walk this with the word winner as I did with the word loser. Now, to ground this word I will walk it in the same context as we did with the word loser, using it as a point of defining what is the best that will be used within our society within an equal money system through a competition of many things, and thus within that competition of many different products, services, policies, ect, finding what will be best for all through what in it's purpose is the actual best for it's reason for being. The winner being the best in what it will do and how it will function in consideration of all the life that it will touch, so in all areas we are able to consider, this product will live the best of it's ability in consideration of all in equal value and honor in the oneness of life that all have within it's very existence as it's beingness.

No more will the word winner signify or represent an ego definition for self or another as more then or better then as there is no relevance in this and no need to do that, because all things in life that exist in the physical will be valued equally and thus respected as such. So what will change will be the value we place on words being equal to life, all being respected as life, and all living within this protection so to speak to exist, and thus deserve a life of dignity and reverence   Then real world order can come of that because there is no more bubble worlds all gaming to make 'me' be the winner and not consider the consequences of one's actions on the rest, but we all win as one world in order as we all live as one life, individually expressing creating always what is best for all and thus this always being best for self, a win - win for all, which is optimum.

Winner(s) in the equal money system will be for the purposes of allowing life to see what is best within what we create because what is created will be within it’s purpose alone and will be valued equal to everything else, so it will no more be abused for profit or self interest, and thus all suffering will end once and for all. There will be no need for brands or any kind of consumer competition, all will be made to last and be the best of it's kind it can possibly be made as to thus reduce waste and make the most creative product/service we can. It will be quite fascinating and interesting to walk this into reality, grounding ourselves to real life, the physical, living words, and walk the process of creating ourselves, our society, our living systems, our policies, our products, our services in the best way possible through living this simple truth as princple of doing what is best for all in all we do.

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Day 274 – Winning – “I am Better then You” – Self Commitments to Live – Part 2

Please reference these blogs for further perspective on this post:
Day 265 – What Does Being A Loser Imply? Behind Words
Day 266 – What Does the Word Loser Imply? – Self Forgiveness
Day 267 – What Does the Word Loser Imply? – Self Corrections to Live
Day 268 – Redefining the Word Loser
Day 269 – What Does Being a ‘Winner’ imply in this World for the Human Being?
Day 270 – Winning- Fulfilling a Desire for Self Satisfaction - Self Forgiveness
Day 271 – Winning – Fulfilling a Desire for Self Satisfaction – Self Corrections to Live

In relation to this specific Post, please reference this blog:
Day 272 – Winning – “I am Better then You” – Self Forgiveness
Day 273 – Winning– “I am Better then You” – Self Corrections to Live – Part 1

When and as I see I am using memories to fuel my backchat and actions within the physical of revenge through competition and trying to win, I stop and breath, as I realize that this fueling of the backchat and my actions within this allowing the backchat to direct me will cause abuse to others and cause a point of conflict because I am not considering the other in equality and looking for the most harmonious direction to take for myself and the other in equal consideration where both will benefit, but only within my mind as me blaming them for me losing in the past as these memories of them beating me and thus seek to gain my power back through beating them. Within this I realize it is just self-interest only seeking to boost my ego because I want attention and fear being seen in a bad light by others when I am already here as life no need to seek it from others to let me know, but live it within and as my own self expression as I am already life here.

I commit myself to let go of the energy of these memories of lose through releasing myself within the hold of revenge as I see that we are equal and there is no reason to fight back, I am here and alive and thus I have no reason for conflict, I live, I need nothing else but to live this, so thus I commit to support myself and life as best I can to let go of emotions as revenge and become humble within myself and my world as what is best for all is only a living realization that must be lived and thus conflict will end.

I commit myself to investigate why these memories are being triggered within the moment and thus stop this trigger point from directing me and reacting through self forgiveness and self commitments and thus live the point of love thy neighbor as thyself even until it is here among us for real.

I commit to breath and release revenge and emotional anger when another is not supporting what is best for al and harm me, through letting it go, and support the other in peaceful means to see what they are doing, and if they can not hear let it be and walk my process as interacting will cause more harm then good.

I commit myself to let go of my ego and walk the path of peace which is self acceptance, accepting myself and everyone here in breath as life, I walk this by moving slower becoming aware of my breath, and walk the principles in my day to day interaction with others through stopping competition through stopping my memories and thoughts of competition, and practice walking support and assistance of others to a harmonious environment for all.

When and as I see I am going into abuse in my mind or in the physical, I stop and breath, and immediately come to realization that this is unacceptable, I am not taking responsibility for myself and practicing the equality equation, I realize this will end in self compromise and abuse to the other and thus myself.

I commit myself to stop the thought patterns of anger and revenge through stopping my participation in conflict situations with others, where I see that I can let go of my wants, needs, and desires, and walk in a way that support the best outcome for all through communication with others and practical common sense to come up with ways that will support all to understanding universally.

I commit to stop my self interest in only looking at my own wants, needs, outcomes, and thus allow all to benefit and do what is necessary to support others the way I would like to be supported.

I commit myself to let go of my attachments to things, and walk in simplicity what I need practically to live and walk my process and that’s it let go of the desires for more when in self honesty I see it is wasteful and not necessary.

I commit to let go of my self interest to be seen by others as more by letting go of the desire to have power over others through putting myself in the shoes of the other and asking myself, “is this how I would want to be treated?”

I commit to walk humbleness in finding it within myself and living it within my living in all that I do through acceptance of life here as myself and all, and unconditionally support myself through not accepting separation through thoughts of my perception of reality through the eyes of memories and the mind, but what is here in the physical in the understanding that I am all that is here in fact and how can I live to support all to live this as well.

When and as I see myself go into the mind to find out who I am through energy as winning and losing, and thus live in reality within a positive or negative experience of myself based on what idea as memories and thoughts have showed to me that I am, I stop and breath, and I realize that this is not who I am, I am not defined and based by energy in my mind as emotions and feelings of good and bad feelings attached to pictures, words, ideas, beliefs, or thought patterns, but am able to direct myself here in the physical in stability in the principle of equality and oneness, and through this realization of who I am as the physical as life in all that is powerful and magnificent within this living in oneness and equality with all that live as self, live this in fact in the statement of my expression through actually living here breath by breath in taking into full consideration who I am and all that is here and walking the best I am able to by correcting myself when I see I go into energy, breathing, and supporting myself as all in unconditional support to realign this life to what is best for all.

I commit myself to let go of feelings and emotions as reactions in energy to pictures and words and thoughts streams in my head, letting go of ideas, beliefs, and opinions I have of myself and others, and remain here in my breath, practicing each and every day to become stable in my breath, aware of the life that is here as me and in everything that I see and live with in the phsyical, and walk the support that is necessary for me and life to live one and equal by slowly but surely producing this as my expression and thus the expression of this world through self correction and self sustenance.

I commit to continue to investigate and correct all points I see activate competition and the desire to be superior, and walk the correction by stopping the energy and living the correction of supporting life, step by step until I move me in my own self will and direct all points as a expression of myself.

I commit to say ‘no, I do not have to be directed by this energy’, when I see I am going into energy possession, and thus get up and move myself physically to stop the activation of this energy possession through also stopping the thoughts that fuel the energy.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki


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Day 273 – Winning – “I am Better then You” – Self Corrections to Live – Part 1

Please reference these blogs for further perspective on this post:
Day 265 – What Does Being A Loser Imply? Behind Words
Day 266 – What Does the Word Loser Imply? – Self Forgiveness
Day 267 – What Does the Word Loser Imply? – Self Corrections to Live
Day 268 – Redefining the Word Loser
Day 269 – What Does Being a ‘Winner’ imply in this World for the Human Being?
Day 270 – Winning- Fulfilling a Desire for Self Satisfaction - Self Forgiveness
Day 271 – Winning – Fulfilling a Desire for Self Satisfaction – Self Corrections to Live

In relation to this specific Post, please reference this blog:
Day 272 – Winning – “I am Better then You” – Self Forgiveness

When and as I see myself experiencing energies of self righteousness and superiority towards another based on accepting a memory stream to flow through my mind of me beating them in the past in some competition and go into a superiority stance towards them, I stop and breath, and realize that living within this mode of living from memories and thus living from these memories alone, is accepting and allowing myself to compromise my ability to live in the physical in the best I am able to as well as abuse others because I have created the experience within my mind that I am more then this person because I am accepting memories as real and justifying my experiences of superiority based in these memories I have selected as me as the winner. I realize though within this that these memories are not real, they are in my mind and thus are illusions as what is in my mind is not physical, can not be tested, cross-referenced, and verified as true, and thus I am not being self honest within the moment, but only in self interest feeding my ego in feeling better about myself by making another feel less important.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing memories to direct me within sustaining my living here, reacting to these memories as if they are real and define the physical, and thus live from the physical here in every breath, treating others how I would want to be treated.

I commit myself to stop my ego in superiority by seeing what I am doing in the moment of trying to be more and stop in that moment, finding ways and solutions where there is a common ground and that all are able to benefit equally and thus treated equally as well.

I commit myself to walk from the physical what is in reality through testing points and seeing if they are conducive for all and make sense over time, walking self honesty within my reality and stopping the mind as memories to direct me.

When and as I see that I am going into a point of superiority with another and demanding competition from them where they must prove they are better then me and when I am not satisfied I will lash out in irritation and anger, I stop and breath, as I realize that this behavior is showing the complete lack of respect for myself and integrity within myself where I have to abuse and push others to be as I am as an abusive person, to prove my ego is the strongest, and thus cause uncomfortableness with others and conflict because I want attention and the energy of feeling more important and thus go as far as pushing others and myself to prove it by creating more and more competition and thus I can gain more and more energy, which is I realize abusing life for my self interest, unacceptable as I would not want to be treated in this abusive and degrading way.

I commit myself to stop and breath and do not accept myself to go into points of competition and proving to be more, this through letting go of the energy, breathing through it and saying no I will not accept this competition any longer.

I commit to see all in this world and in my world in there shoes, communicating with them and coming to common ground, and so stop the point of being more by accepting me, getting to know and understand how my mind works, and continue to walk the correction process in self honesty to correct my living to always consider others as equal and do what is best for all.

I commit to accept myself each and every time I see I am going into comparison and competition, by saying no I don’t accept me in competition, and embrace that part of me I am trying to beat. Open it up in writing and see why I am not aligned with it, what am I not accepting of myself, and so direct it into alignment with what is best for all through self forgiveness and self commitment statements.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki


Photo Source

Day 272 – Winning – “I am Better then You” – Self Forgiveness

Please reference these blogs for further perspective on this post:
Day 265 – What Does Being A Loser Imply? Behind Words
Day 266 – What Does the Word Loser Imply? – Self Forgiveness
Day 267 – What Does the Word Loser Imply? – Self Corrections to Live
Day 268 – Redefining the Word Loser

In relation to this specific Post, please reference these blogs:
Day 269 – What Does Being a ‘Winner’ imply in this World for the Human Being?
Day 270 – Winning- Fulfilling a Desire for Self Satisfaction - Self Forgiveness
Day 271 – Winning – Fulfilling a Desire for Self Satisfaction – Self Corrections to Live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the thought within my mind as memories of times when I beat a specific person in competition and thus hold onto these memories as a justifiable stream of evidence that I indeed am better then this other and thus within this justification through memories, create myself in relationship with this other in superiority, where I will create a point of arrogance towards them expecting them to live up to me and my memories of competition or continue to be seen as less then me because I am creating this experience within me of being more because I hold onto memories of me apparently winning, which is not real because it’s in my mind and thus easily can be distorted from what in reality actually happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue existing within memories as I bring them here within talking to another I know I have beat in competition in the past and thus treat them in my speak and mannerisms in superiority, seeing within myself that they deserve this treatment because I won, I am better, and thus I deserve to live as the superior one because I beat them and they lost.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept memories as real when I realize they are not real as it is not here in the physical and use the memories in self interest where I will gain feelings of superiority based on defining myself through the actions that took place as winning in a competition, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an arrogance and self righteousness towards the other based on believing myself to be better then this person because I have defined myself more to them based on beating them and that I am referencing to validate this definition of myself through the memories I have brought up of me winning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by what has happened in the past and hold onto it and use the memories as a validation of who I am as more then others when in reality I am showing how self interested I am and abusive by treating another life being as less then me when me in the physical is equal and one to the other and thus competition in the seeking of gaining definition of importance and superiority to another is not acceptable and cause abuse as separation and conflict as I use these memories only for energy for myself to feel more, superior, and better then this other which makes me feel important.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the energy as superior and better to others in beating them in defining who I am as more because I desire to feel important and be seen as this by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live out this superiority in my world by treating others less then me through yelling at them and not allowing them to walk any process with me in their own self expression, but I demand them to prove that they are the winner and thus always exist within competition as comparison and polarity as better/worse when we interact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the opposite polarity where I will suppress the memories of me losing to not have to face that within myself as I have now only defined my self importance or self worth through winning, and so when I do allow memories of losing I accumulate the energy of anger because I see I am not good enough and thus this fuels the competition I participate in and so become extremely competitive with others in becoming physical at times and abusive verbally and mentally at times.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame those I compete against for me becoming a loser and feeling bad and stifled within myself, and thus use this blame to get even through competition and when I win rub it in the others face to make sure I gain attention and recognition for this win, and I see as more then others which makes me feel important within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for my own participation in competition and self righteousness allowing and accepting myself to abuse others mentally, verbally, and physically based on holding onto memories of lose and not dealing with them in self honesty, but suppress them until I bring the anger here that is involved within this memory of lose to fuel me to be aggressive and win in my competition towards them always resulting in abuse as I am existing within separation as you vs me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become aggressive and in the point of you vs me and so doing whatever I can to win, where I will name call or abuse in my mind and at times physically when I was younger to win and so I can be seen as more and better then the others and thus gain that self importance which makes me feel worthy again within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from others and only exist within competition based on defining myself by what others see of me and how I live in the physical compared to others instead of accepting myself and living in unison with others in equality and what is best for everyone where all ultimately can benefit equally as one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept abuse within words, thought, and deed towards others within myself in the belief that I am better but realizing this is only ego and hiding the fact that I don’t actually accept myself and see myself as worthy, but live from the mind as ego to make myself feel better because within myself I feel inferior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for me not standing up for myself and living within principles of what is best and equality to stop the cycle of polarity living in energy of inferior/superior or better/worse, and thus create separation with others because I am searching for myself, my expression through the external as competition but will always be unstable and unequal with others because I am only seeing myself in energy as highs and lows through win and lose and thus I will never be stable because energy will exist in this way to balance itself and never last as an expression of me because it’s not real it’s based in the mind as thoughts that construct this idea of myself as the ‘winner’ when in reality, I am not accepting myself and thus in separation with life as who I really am.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki


Photo Source