A pattern I am noticing at my work that I have been
participating in and not taking responsibility for has been when I am becoming
irritated at others, not outright or not even a lot of the time, but there are
moments where I will become irritated and frustrated as if I allowed these back
chat thoughts to accumulate and then they come out in behavior or specific
energy presences I’ll be in toward these people. What I am starting to realize
more and more is that even though I may seem like I am not effecting others or
I am not out right reacting to others in my presence, that even small resistances
or irritations that I hold in, resonately can be felt by others and their
behavior will in turn change. Before I started taking more and more
responsibility for my thought, word, and deed, I would blame the other person
for being the problem, reacting and causing a situation in the office or where
ever we are, it was them not me. Though now, I am seeing how my very behavior,
even in the slightest of movements or non-movements that I make, even one word
that I say where I am in a slight reaction, overtime or even in that moment
will change the person receiving my behavior and reactions in a way that is not
supportive, and thus I can effect and change another persons presence and so
have outflows in this instance that are not best for all, which is unacceptable.
So I am learning and realizing the responsibility I do hold
within walking and being aware as I am of my own mind, my own thoughts, my own
reactions, and having the tools of self support and self change I have been
walking for six years now, I realize I must move myself to change myself
always, it is always the question of ‘who am I in this moment?;. Those in my environment
are not the one’s who are responsible at this stage because they have little to
no knowledge of self honesty and self forgiveness, and thus their only access
to becoming this is through my example and my living presence of myself. So I
am moving myself here and forward to stop all reactions within me and not move
until I am clear within looking at myself first before I speak or assist
another person.
I will be walking the pattern/character that is playing out
here in this specific scenario with another person at work and the
solutions/living words I will support myself with to not accept anything less
then what is best for all and changing myself to become my highest potential.
The character I saw that was playing out within this
specific scenario is where my authority was being thwarted and I was becoming
competitive and fearful of another attempting to tell me what to do and how to
do my job.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
go into the character of being the authority over others and placing value in
this as if I am more then or superior to others, where I am believing myself to
have the right and the privilege to direct and not be questioned or told what
to do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
become superior within my work position because I hold a leadership role over
others and have created the belief that I am more then others or better
equipped to be in this position and blindly placed a higher value in myself
then others in my working environment because of this perceived authority I
have over others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
perceive I have the right to tell people what to do and be pushy if I need to
be to get people moving.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe I need to use force to move people rather then living the words
patience, gentleness, and support.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am
able and have the right to not be questioned due to what I have to do and deal with
at work, when I see, realize, and understand that I am not considering nor
standing in anyone else’s shoes, but my own and desiring sympathy and recognition
from others for what I do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
become nasty and spiteful toward others when I am not seen within an authority
stand point and so within this become reactive in my backchat that this person
is stepping out of line and that I should be respected.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
go into a power trip where I believe myself to be special and more then others
based on what I do rather then see, realize, and understand that we are all
doing work and all are equally here to be honored and respected for
participating and supporting the flow of the work done and doing our best.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only see the bad of
another and harp on that instead of seeing, realizing and understanding it’s
not about the other at all, but who am I within what I do, how do I behave, and
where am I standing within.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe myself to be more based on the placement I am in in the company instead
of seeing, realizing, and understanding that it’s about each one being equals
and supporting all to be there best as I support myself to stand in my best and
do what is best for all.
I commit myself to stop moving in energy as irritation and
take responsibility for myself where I see I am able to change and live the
word support, where I can stand as a support for another when the moment arises
rather then going into reaction and conflict.
I commit myself to see all in my work place as well as my
world as equals and each one playing a role/part to support the whole of the
business grow and stay prosperous.
I commit myself to stand with others as equals realizing
that my role is not based on what I do but who I am within what I do and how I
stand as a supportive example for others to be the best they can be.
I commit myself to live the word humility and see what I can
learn from others and be assisted within their presence to grow and expand.
I commit myself to live the words patience’s and gentleness
with others as how I would like to be treated if I was in the same position.
I commit myself to write out the systems and directions and
become more self directed, so I can become a leader that is effective and
supports all to be the best they can be.
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