Showing posts with label survival. Show all posts
Showing posts with label survival. Show all posts

Sunday, September 30, 2018

Who am I as Self Honesty? Day 569




WHO AM I AS SELF HONESTY?

What is first coming up for me when I ask this question to myself is that I am still learning lol. I mean this concept within a practice of living and dedicating myself to it has spanned more than 9 years now, though it continues to expand and grow as I do. Self honesty has been one of the most challenging paths as well as rewarding in my life. I find this concept is actually quite simple in the understanding within the application of what is best for all meaning to live what is best for all one has to live self-honesty, though that is not really getting to the route and core of what this concept and practice actually entails cause self honesty is more then just being honest with oneself.

For me personally, I feel I have always had a connection with my potential, the best of me and seeing the best in people, though back in the beginning of my desteni i process I found that this was hidden and suppressed deep within me, i could mainly only see the worst in my self and what i was living and so the worst in others. This creating mostly outflows of limitation and abuse, which was not who i actually wanted to be, but until desteni i really had no other way of seeing myself out of it.

So self-honesty for me has been a gift and a vehicle within me of movement to be my best, it is moving within me in the sense that whatever is here i work with self honesty and that to me is the truth of who i am in those moments and what i am creating, getting real with those facts and within that making all the effort necessary to change myself to be my best self, this effort of change in seeing the worst of myself or in my addictions or in my laziness patterns, it is difficult to move, though using the tools and standing firm in my desicion to be self honest, what I have scripted for myself in my self forgiveness and self commitment statements supports me to live this through eventually. Though self honesty can also be lived when one is not living one's best, being self honest in the fact that you are struggle, not getting it, not changing as fast as one wanted, these are all points of one's self honesty at times in one's process, yet being self honest is the way to see the realizations as is and then work with the steps to start the process of change. Commitment to change is also a key in living and dedicating oneself to live self honesty in one's day to day life. 

Self-honesty to me is the way to the heaven on earth, it is a solution through and through for the ills we face within us and without. It is also beautiful as it aligns with all in all ways and all can participate in it and all will get equal results if applied within oneself and in one's life, which is a changed being, a better version, and aligning to what is best for all. When all humans live this as there inner code the outflow consequences of who we are will equally change from survival and suffering to self awareness, self expansion, and creativity in our highest potential. So I see potential only in this word and the living out of self in this way, through and through, for all life as self here.

Self-honesty is always about self and I have found always steered me back to this point, self first, self here, who am I, and thus what am i going to live? These are incredible words to embody and embrace, a fantastic adventure it has been and will continue to be into the foreseeable future. Self-honesty is life and thus when life is lived in self-honesty one becomes balanced and more and more aligned to the natural order of life that has always been here, it is our best selves lived. 


Tuesday, May 3, 2016

"Spoiled Child" Character and Solution - Day 506






I am starting a business series and facing points that come up when I am in business settings and relationships.

First point I am going to write on is the fear of failing as the first fear that comes up and triggers when I see, realize, and understand that a point in my life is not working or something happened that is challenging. The fear moves through my whole body and becomes like a fire that is raging through me and I need some sort of outlet to release it or it feels like I may explode. This sort of like a spoiled child who doesn't yet know how to deal with the environment stimulus they are experiencing and the relationships within that environment, they scream and yell and become destructive, not a good scene all around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear when I hear that something in the business is going bad or is creating a challenge to be faced in real time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go to the worst case scenario without seeing, realizing, or considering the outflows and solutions that can be created even in the worst of cases as I see, realize, and understand there is always solutions if one stay motivated, driven, and creative to find them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in this fear and accept and allow the thoughts to move through me that the business is going to lose money or we are going to lose customers or we are not going to be able to stay in business, and fear the livelihood and survival of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the survival of myself within my mind through fear being triggered instead of taking a breath, a step back, slowing down, and realizing that there is a grounding needed by myself to see the situation clearly and get all the facts to then be able to create a solution or support with this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush into assumptions about what the facts are and listen to my mind telling me what the facts are before I have even taken a breath and looked and considered the whole situation or occurrence before making any decision or movement on the matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for what has occurred based on thoughts going on in my mind in reaction to the initial thoughts of the business going down, and thus blame them through my words and actions of calling them out and chastising them for events that are not related and thus are not necessarily any fault of theirs. 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become like a spoiled child who should be listened too and considered and able to just release all my emotions so I am feeling clear and better, not considering or taking responsibility for the outflows my actions and behaviors have on others in my environment and how I am creating more of a destructive environment rather then a supportive expansive one. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to news in energy and emotion rather then breathing, slowing down, and assessing the information in a calm manner that is supportive for the problem, the solution, the people involved, and for my own self responsibility to become a leader in what is best for all rather then a dictator who is tyrannical and nasty.

When and as I see I am going into this rush of fear when I move from a shock experience of something happening in my environment, I stop and breath and realize that at this time I need to take a step back, ground myself in my body through breath, slow down, look and understand all the facts involved, and assess what changes/solutions are needed to correct the point and make changes that will support what is best for all.

I commit myself to live the word slow down and breath when the shock comes of an event that is challenging and/or difficult in my life.

I commit myself to fact find before I take any course of action within the matter.

I commit myself to stand as a support and example for others to understand the mistake made and find solutions to correct the mistake and circumvent it happening again.

I commit myself to use common sense in business matters and do what is best for all within my dealings with business matters, business relationships, and business solutions.


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Monday, November 30, 2015

Family and Competition: The Pressure that Builds - Day 487



What causes the child to rebel against there parents as I had within my childhood? I mostly translate it to the fact that I didn’t know how to really connect with them in the way that my inner being desired. There was also this disconnect in a way that was created through words or the resonance of words that drove me to have inner conflict and anger outflowed into my world because I couldn’t articulate what it is I was wanting from my parents and what it is that I was experiencing within me, I had no idea what it was, though this inner voice was there and it was powerful. This obviously created frustration on both ends of the spectrum, myself were I would be chastised and partitioned away based on my parents not really having the time nor the real patience to hear me and get to the essence of what I was looking for. With my parents, where they didn’t have the opportunity or the know how to really connect with me on a deeper level and understand from a point of view that was necessary, they couldn’t walk this based on survival. And this is not to blame my parents or blame any point within myself or my childhood, but a real self honest understanding of what creates such a rift between parent and child growing up and into adulthood.

One of the key factors was money, there was always pressure and stress in relation to money and also there was also a pressure and stress within myself to live to a certain standard. This was impulsed from many directions in society be it schoolmates, billboards, tv, magazines, neighbors, celebrities and what I had or didn’t have was always running in the back of my mind. Everybody wants to be seen as the best/cool and no one wants to be seen other then this, so there is also this stress going on to be accepted, and within this, the parents are the only way for the child to fulfill this requirement to gain acceptance in their childhood. We had enough though there was always this feeling within me that I wanted more, there was never enough, I was always feeling inadequate in some way or another, and my parents not able to satisfy this self anger of not having enough, this rift started to form based on the idea that I had created that there must be something wrong with me or my family because I can’t get what ever one else has.

This then stemmed into my family structure where I started comparing myself to my sisters and seeing that I am not this and I don’t have that skill, I need that to feel fulfilled, but I don’t know how to get that. So there was not only the pressure of the outer world to be accepted, I was finding there was also a pressure within the family, the place were you are suppose to be most safe and comfortable, much was communicated between everyone and it was a lot of mental and physical pressure.


More to come in later blogs.  

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Thursday, November 26, 2015

Family and Competition Part 2 - What Causes Lack? Day 485



So within my last blog I spoke about how the education system initiates children into the system within competition from the get go, showing us as adults who we are within what we are doing, does it register and do we even care that we are creating our entire society and what we do within it from a competitive starting point. I mean even at five years old, I became stressed and anxious within going to my first day of school, this is not the best environment for children nor what I would want any child to have to endure. We tend to use the excuse of “oh but it’s human nature, this is just how it is” or “they will survive, I mean I did and look at me, I am successful, I worked hard, I survived”. But again is this the best we can do? Is this how we want our children to be experiencing their worlds? Why not have a place were all are welcome, there is a place for everyone, everyone is accommodated, and we create solutions and tools to facilitate the best environment for all. 

This is most certainly possible, we are using the above excuses and one’s like those to avoid and not face the change that is inevitable within each one. We don’t want to change ourselves, we don’t want to change our minds, we don’t want to walk the talk so to speak of creating a better world because as we know this best for all society is not going to create itself, we in fact have to create it, build it, endure the trials and tribulations, the failures and miss-takes, everything this will take. And another point I have realized is that this world is not going to come about one that is best for all and considers all if each one doesn’t change within themselves to accommodate such a society, if we want to create peace and harmony, we have to do that internally in our own worlds/self.

Each (human) being is a universe, and so with great knowledge comes great responsibility, but the fruits of the labor put in is a world that will be heaven on earth, who can deny such a world and a world we can birth for our children to come who in essence is each one of us. So competition in our worlds is showing one thing currently and that is that we are not living life, but surviving, we are not finding solutions, but existing as the problem, we are not walking with others, but trying to destroy and become better then others. This I have found is due to the inherent insecurity each one of us feels about ourselves, so this point of insecurity and so superiority we all cycle within has to be investigated, corrected, and transcended to see the solutions that lie beyond that play out. This all takes a process and has already been walked by many on this earth, which is the desteni I process. It takes years of dedication and discipline to walk this journey to life, but there is no other choice for all those who stand within a self integrity and honor for life, we must get this done.

Here I will walk some self forgiveness on the point I mentioned in my childhood and the competition that is driven within the education system currently. This so I/we can support the solution of what is best and creating an equality within the education field.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be in competition with other people in my world based on a standard test that is placed on humans to gauge where they stand and how to systematize there living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a system in place to limit and diminish the creative expressive ability of human life into standardized testing to put human life into categories where it’s easier to be controlled and hoarded around to facilitate the system of slave/master mentality we have made a way of life here on this earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to taint innocent life with survival and fear of survival based on the belief that some lack and some are more worthy in this physical earth, when I see, realize, and understand that there is neither lack nor fear that is necessary on this planet and that all things can be measured and walked into what is best based on the physical mathematical equations to see this through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become greedy within myself where I desire to have more then others and create an experience for myself of more, when I see, realize, and understand that this experience is only a fleeting one and will never truly fulfill me, but only continue to diminish me as I continue this quest for more and so within that create equally create the experience of lack.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the systematic experience of survival where lack is displayed and survival needs are developed through this belief based on the greed of self interest and desire for more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of self judgment when I do these things of harming life instead of forgiving myself, moving to the correction which is walking what is best for all, and moving into solutions immediately that will facilitate the best outcome for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become enslaved within my own creation based on following experiences of energy instead of remaining balanced here in breath and realizing and so living the principles of life that is here one and equal and doing what is best for all which will always create the best life for self in all ways.

When and as I see I am going into a form of desire and greed to gain more then another, I stop and breath, and realize that this will create the experience of superiority which will then in turn cycle through the experience of insecurity causing survival to activate and lack to become manifested.

I commit myself to let go of the desire to have more and walk what is best for all in all I do and live.

I commit myself to let go of the experience of superiority where I see I am more and then take more, by standing within an integrity of myself by stopping this thought and solving the problem which will create what is best for all involved.

I commit myself to stop the experience of lack and realize all the gifts already here in my life and living reality.

I commit myself to be grateful for life and my breath and stop the experiencing of not enough.


I commit myself to change myself to be the best version of myself and walk solutions so the children to come are respected and honored as equal physical beings the same as self here.

I will continue in my next blog, thanks.


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Equal Life Foundation - Site

Saturday, May 30, 2015

What do we Place our Value In? – Day 461




Let’s first start with the definition of value, I have defined this word in relation to myself meaning what do I give value to and what gives me value. Value being that which substantiate self. Substantiate is that which is growth, expansion, expression, within self movement. So giving value to is the movement of self in the physical that creates something more. This is what it is, but within the self creation process we are living as our lives, it’s a question to look at and become aware of, because we are giving value to something, what we are giving value to will determine our future, not only for ourselves but life as a whole.

Value is an interesting point because I can deduce it based on my own personal process walking to two outcomes, one that is external to self and one that is internal to self. And this is a self process alone, who you are as the value you create and how you define yourself by what you create. Are you determined by what other’s place value in as you or do you determine for yourself what you as value place yourself within and as you create yourself as your life.

The value placed on the external in relation to self’s definition would be everything that is of the system we live in now, the currency measure being in dollars and cents, one of the main ways we can place our value of ourselves in is based on how much we are worth. Like a job payment scale value, I am worth this amount of dollars, and so one can go further, I drive this car and live in this type of house, I have these kinds of clothes and go to these kinds of restaurants, and these value placements are not seen in plan sight. Meaning we never openly talk about this to others, our value and what we are really think is of value, no we do this in the confines of our own mind and we pre-tend to have values within human decency and life giving ways, but in reality, this is not how the human race lives, we don’t live we survive. When it comes down to the day to day living of a human being, we are most concerned with our survival and what most place value in is whatever means of survival to make sure I am able to live, the more comfortable and secure the better. Though this outflow of survival creates scarcity and fear, and thus abuse and separation is the outflow as what is currently being proven as evidence with starvation, poverty, and war on our planet. In placing value outside of ourselves to the external we do not value life, but only value what can gives us securtity, and again what is that, the currency of dollar and cents, this is where the truth lies, the numbers of our worth according to the current survival system we are creating. And this is no way to live as it’s not living, but is suffering for the many who can't get the numbers.

Fortunately for some, the self value of the internal life that is here as our physical bodies and who we are as life that exist within each living being, is a movement of a different order, this value is not based on what externally we can attach to ourselves and define ourselves by, but what brings us together and unites us within the principle of life that we are all one as life and equal within this fact. This is what is really here and this is the path to real truth of self and freedom. Living from the value of who one is from within measured by how one lives in this world is a whole new way of living, this way of living for the human race is a physical step by step process of self correction through self investigation of one’s living based on the principle of doing what is best for all because one is now living the understanding that all life is self, equal and one.  So within this understanding, harming another is harming oneself and so all abuse becomes corrected and essentially ceases to exist as the question is asked, why would i abuse another (self)? This is new because we have been programmed from many levels in this world and even from other dimensions through controls and have been moved like chess based on humanity misplacing value from within to the without of self. Self here is where empowerment exist, it is where life essence exist, it is where our self expression exist, it is where our creative power exist, and so putting value within who one is as what they live each and every day gives value that is real and measureable. And this is lived through words, living words in the fullest expression of self is life here expressed through and as the physical you then create measuresbke physical value as your creation here in real time, doing it in self awareness based on principled living, you create real value thats honoring life which is doing what is best for all. Again this takes a process and is being walked by many currently, though it is certainly possible real self freedom.

We don’t need anything external because in a way we are already a part of everything, we exist here and so looking for ourselves within other things and placing value in things outside ourselves is really devaluing who we are as life beings as equals in this physical reality. We create that equality from within by also giving this equal value to others as we have done for ourselves and stand responsible for self to stand within what is here at all times and be able to create, be able to add value, be able to self express to give life as we have been given. Express and live what is best.  

So this point of what we place value in is a path of self discovery as well as self awareness that is a journey, it’s a path from the external value placement of self to the internal value placement of self through self understanding and self creation to become a real person of value that can stand and be here and express here totally and wholesomely each breath, so we walk until this is done.

Interview Support on more Topic Perspectives:

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Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Stubbornness Dissected - Who am I within this? Day 439



I have come to realize that I am quite a stubborn person, I have a hard time not getting my way and having to adhere to another’s way of doing things. I have for a while wanted to deny this aspect of myself or simply run away from it because to look at this means I have to face it and change it. I find that within this fear of facing myself within stubbornness, I fear losing my stand I have believed myself to have with others in my world of getting my needs met and making sure that I survive or get taken care of, because in essence if I don’t take care of myself, who will? Though, I have taken this belief of myself to an extreme point where I have believed myself to be able to handle everything, I don’t need anyone in my life, I don’t need help, I can take care of myself, and within standing within this stubborn belief of myself, I have in ways stood alone.

There is benefit’s to having this stand within self as this allows for self sufficiency and self empowerment, but also it can lead to an unbalanced relationship with other people in my world where I push them away and not embrace the ‘gifts’ they have to share with me, be it the treasures of companionship or the harsh reality of facing who I really am in the eyes of another. This truth of self especially coming from an outside source is where I go into a wall of stone cold, where I have an extremely difficult time allowing someone to show me where I am doing something wrong or where I can improve on something. This is specific to the person as each person I meet I find there is a different relationship that develops, but with specific people I have created myself in relation to them in ways where I find myself comfortable and my nature or who I have created as my personalities catered to based on the personality of the other, these relationships I desire as there is an easement to them and I am usually able to get my way eventually.

Now with endeavoring on the desteni I process and standing as a point of living example for those who come after me, I am here and have committed myself to see myself for who I really am, change my nature, and report openly and self honestly to those who will read this. I am finding that I have to correct and change myself to fit into all walks of life, the easy and the difficult, the comfortable and the uncomfortable, I can no longer escape into my comfort zone of just seeking the easy and comfortable path, I have put myself in a position where I stand until I in fact do or stand to lose much in the way of not standing. As within reality there is always consequence to the decisions we make, I no more can pretend that all will be good and the universe will take care of me, as I realize I am a universe unto myself and I am the creator of myself so no one is going to take care of me, I have to take care of myself meaning I have to correct my living to align with life and what is best for all. There is simply no other logical or harmonious way to go about living my life realizing these facts that what is best for all is the law of the universe and treating and considering others as equal and one to self is life.

So I have come to start writing and correcting myself within this current realization of seeing myself within the understanding that I am stubborn and am determined to get my own way without considering all the dimensions of this desire push. I have currently been facing this in my agreement so will walk some self forgiveness in relation to this as well as walking the correction process.

Thanks for reading. 

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Friday, January 24, 2014

Survival Instinct Programming - Day 391



Looking at this relationship between becoming excited at another person’s demise based on the fact that within it I will benefit in some way or another. I don’t see myself within this relationship necessarily aiming to have anything ill come to another or have any form of abuse come to them, but within the point of gaining something from another’s down fall I have a relationship of guilt within it as in a way I enjoy this as I will gain something. This desire and excitement for another persons lose is a form of survival i have accepted and allowed within me, and use in times of belief that I need what the other has to survive. And in ways I see I have pushed and aided in this point of another's downfall based on my desires to succeed, win, and gain more. 

I do see that I have been in reaction towards this person for a while and this is the point where I am limiting myself as I am not bringing the point back to myself and changing my relationship to be that of support. So the point of desiring to benefit has been the reason for my compromising who I am in relation to this person causing me to feel guilty within their presence, as I see within that there is a point of competition and need to conquer. And within this desire and need to conquer the 'evil' comes out where I only exist for myself and have no real regard about what is the best way to go about supporting or directing this situation. Desire has been overriding my common sense assessment in equality to ensure what is best is lived. 


I am sure that this relationship is due to a need within me that I will not be able to get enough and so I feel that others who I judge as not as good as me, survival and self interest. So I am existing within this starting point based on valuing myself as more then others, and within this situation it is based on worth of physical skill and know how. It’s very much based on survival and existing within the dog eat dog world, and accepting survival programming to override life and living how I would want to be treated. I will continue writing on this tomorrow. Thanks.

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