Back chat of winning, spite, and reflection of self dishonesty through Annoyance - Day 20

 Hi, I am working through my mind after a significant 'fall' where i had to face some reality consequences that made me realize the requirement of movement that is needed in the process from birthing from the energy of the mind reality as illusion into and as the living reality as self creation through living/action in words as self forgiveness and self correction - for more on some insight into this point and where it came through check out this chat - 1. Saturday 19th May 2012 - Desteni Forum 

When I am annoyed I see that i have some memories in me, mainly toward my sister whom i work with and spend a lot of time with, we are in a setting that is fast paced and i am her manager, so in this environment there are certain common sense expectations that are required. But for me i see my memories are of backchat of becoming angry that she is not listening to my 'direction' and not following the 'rules'. I have justified this anger/annoyance within a point of self righteousness and believing i am stronger and better at my job then her, which in turn in my mind as backchat make me think that i am thus able to bully her to a point where it makes her move quicker, do what i want, so this point of belief 'i am better at my job, she is so slow', creates in me my self justification to push her outside of proper guidelines and limitations and make it emotional where one is wrong/bad and the other is right/better. 

This cause in her an imbalance in the work day without a clear direction of her environment directives, but she is more on guard and thus more in her mind, self compromise, based on the bi-polar nature of myself becoming annoyed/emotional when a mistake is made or point not understood in its best potential. This stems from my ego, believing that cause i am at this skill of being on task and timely to a degree of efficiency for the office setting, i am thus able to diminish another who can't keep up.

This does not say anything about either one in terms of self definition and self creation, but it does say within me that i am being spiteful and evil in my interactions with another in my environment who is my equal, is me in another life, and thus is what should be valued before anything else, the equality and oneness of each one. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see person x as a being that i can bully and push around cause i am stronger and thus able to as the capabilities are at my advantage and i am more able to stay stable, and thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the backchat that this being is weak and thus able to be pushed to extremes due to my desire to be right/get my creation in place thus control the outcome and creating a way where i get what i want.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of self righteousness where i allow and accept thoughts as 'i am so much stronger and smarter then her' 'she is so dump' 'she is so slow' 'she is losing us money' 'she doesn't listen to me' 'she is trying to ruin my leadership abilities and direction' and 'i can't stand her, she doesn't obey'. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become annoyed at another for there life and living reality in this moment equal and one to me as this moment.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge the other where in i see the other as my enemy/competition, instead of seeing it as me and that i require to walk in the others shoes to find out where and how can i support them equal to how i would want to be supported and live in a way that is best for all. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am within and as a point of self defeat when another in my reality doesn't walk my expectation and so i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to control and force another into my will and direction in a way of force and degrading.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be better/stronger cause within my backchat i am speaking things that are not real, and are harmful which is evil, which is not best for all life my commitment and principle of living this life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to instead of standing as an equal to the other and supporting them to be the best they can be, i stand as a point of harm and degrading where i am gaining superiority over her and feeling more powerful and in control through the feeling of success and victory when in reality i am destroying and diminishing something i would not do to myself and not want done unto me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace the other as myself and understand within the interaction what can we do to support each other within a point of self care and self support where both the environments are made to bring through the best for each other and what make practical common sense to allow both the opportunity to become stable and get the work done that needs done in a timely way.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the backchat of judgment thoughts toward other and self glorifying thoughts toward myself for being strong. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed my ego as self interest be my driving force in the work place towards others instead of sitting in there shoes and finding solutions that will ensure all are cared for and all have the ability to be the best the can for the position they are in where things are clear and understood to the best of my ability to get it lived out into completion.

I commit myself to live the words self discipline within stopping my back chat about winning and being better, breathing, and not allowing thoughts of judgment or any thoughts of harm. 

I commit myself to flag point annoyance when or if it comes up showing to myself that i have fallen in self interest and trying to win.

I commit myself to recognize that i am going into ego as a point of self righteousness self glorification, because i am not in control of myself and feel inferior.

I commit myself to embrace the other as myself with love, care, gentleness, and clear direction of common sense as i would myself. I commit myself to use breathing and releasing the energy through physical activity and breathing to no longer direct myself with energy as mind in thoughts and shooting/harm/self glorification, but real living that is an equal and one support for all as i'd like for myself. 

More self support at:

www.desteni.org

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Eqafe Hangout: From Shyness to Self Confidence - Day 554

Thanks so much to Valentin Rozman for sharing your realizations and solutions you have walked in your process in this hangout.

Find the interview here:

https://eqafe.com/p/from-shyness-to-self-confidence-life-review

Interview synopsis:

"How to Transcend Shyness and become Self Confident within absolute Unconditional Self Expression."

Here in this discussion, Valentin and I will be looking at our experiences in our life of how we have transcended shyness to live with more self confidence and self authority. We will share what tools and practical methods we walked to create this change for ourselves. Also, we will discuss what fears we had to face and work through in this journey of walking through shyness and transforming it into self confidence.

These hangouts are for the purpose of educating all on the support given at the eqafe.com website, which shares through thousands of audio recordings the understanding of the human potential in this life. Where the listener can gain practical support that can be walked to help themselves become more effective in their everyday living.

Walking the Path of No Return – Day 407

Visit cool art here: Desteni Artists

For a while now I have been walking multiple dimensions of the point of self judgment where in reality it manifest as me sabotaging myself in many different ways in my everyday life. I have looked at it from many different angles and seen where the trigger points are, where the mind takes over, what occurs and how I feel when I’m shifted in a moment into the mind energy feeling of suppression and dread, and so I have now examined and walked through enough of this system to finally face it and stop it from taking over and possessing me. So I am at the point currently in making an absolute decision and standing within this decision in reality to stop participating in self abuse and direct myself into self change as self stability.

I see what has caused me to delay such a stopping and absolute stand of – ‘no more, this is enough’, has been the fear of becoming vulnerable and opening myself up to others. I have created such a belief that I am less then and inferior, that I have accepted and allowed so much of my actions to be compromised by this belief, and so allow fears to direct me when with others in my world.

Though within this I realize that fear is just energy and it can be stopped in a moment, in a breath as it's finite and not substantiated in it's existence and so me as life substituted here in reality can stop that which is not real. I also realize that I am not inferior nor superior to any being in this physical reality and that we are all existing and experiencing ourselves in the same or similar ways, that it’s not personal, it’s how we have created and designed our minds up until now. And also, I have already proven that I can stop fears and change in my process through utilizing writing, breath awareness, sound, and self will to stop myself from continuing to go ‘there’. I see that I am capable and so ready to make this next step to stop this program and direct this self abuse to self care once and for all, absolutely until it's done. Self care being where I care about who I am and how I am existing within the acceptance that this is my responsibility and I deserve to give this to myself as I would and do give it to others, I am an equal as well within this reality and accepting and so allowing myself to express in who I really am will be a gift as I walk this into a living application.

I haven’t ever allowed or accepted myself to really create and express myself in absolute vulnerability and openness, I have always been in fear of others and fear of myself, and so this will be a great opportunity within such an encompassing point of self judgment to push through and go beyond my accepted limitations I set for myself. In this process, I am grateful I have given myself and been given through the support of others the opportunity to face this point and let it go, and move on to the creation process of myself in self acceptance and self care that awaits. Also, realizing that this self care and self acceptance will only exist when I give these self directive points to myself and so give this also to all who I meet, giving as I would like to receive as this is the true sense of the word self care and self acceptance. This to ensure that all are included within this equation to create a world that is best for all and so care and accept all within the principle that all is self/one and all are equal.  

So I have made the decision long ago that I will walk whatever it takes to be self directive and align my mind and beingness with life here as the physical, and so walk the process this will take. I realize consistency is key and necessary to ensure that I continue on this path and walk whatever it takes to support myself to stop, change, and direct myself in what is best. I will continue sharing on this point of consistency as my partner and I are set to redefine this word shortly for ourselves and so will share what we come up with as a living word. Thanks for reading.

Here are some blogs for some reference on how I walked through and supported myself to stop Self Judgment and Change:
Day 283 – Self Judgment – Judging My Physical – The ‘Flawed’ Eye
Day 284 – Self Judgment – Judging My Physical – The ‘Flawed’ Eye – Self Commitments to Live – Part 1

Day 285 – Self Judgment – The ‘Flawed’ Eye – Self Corrections to Live Part 2

Eqafe interview support I recommend:

The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination – Where does Self-Judgment come from? - Part 11
The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination - Omnipresence of Self Judgement - Part 12
The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination - Self Judgement: Waging a War against yourself - Part 13
The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination - Self Judgment as Punishment - Part 14
The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination – Self Judgment: The Bully in your Mind - Part 15
The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination – Self Judgement support - Part 16
The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination – Transforming Self Judgement into self Acceptance- Part 17

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Day 285 – Self Judgment – The ‘Flawed’ Eye – Self Corrections to Live Part 2

Please reference these blogs for further perspective:
Day 281 – Self Judgment – The Point I don’t Want to Face
Day 282 – Self Judgment – Fueling the Imprisonment of Self as the Mind
Day 283 – Self Judgment – Judging My Physical – The ‘Flawed’ Eye
Day 284 – Self Judgment – Judging My Physical – The ‘Flawed’ Eye – Self Commitments to Live – Part 1

When and as I see myself go into a form of resentfulness towards others based on the way of my judgment towards myself as abnormal and them looking normal, I stop and breath, and realize that this is due to my own insecurities and inferiorizing myself based on features of my face that I have defined less then others. I realize this is only going to cause me to live in this cycle of polarities as positive and negative never being stable and thus abusing others based on this resentment I hold.

I commit myself to stop and breath and find why I am going into this point of resentfulness, so then I can realize how to stop it.

I commit myself to stop this point of judgment in polarities to others as good and bad, and learn to accept myself by seeing me equal as life not based on pictures.

I commit myself to stop defining myself by the individual flaws I see in myself and realize I am a physical body and accept myself in wholeness.

I commit to let go of the idea that I am flawed and realize this is my physical form and is keeping me alive.

When and as I see I go into comparison and start separating myself from others do to my mind thoughts of judgment based on this comparison, I stop and breath, and realize that this is going to end in me becoming abusive to myself and others through spite, and so I realize I must stop continuing to exist in comparison as it cause this separation within me and my world due to points that can not be changed.

I commit myself to stop and not accept myself to go into comparison by becoming aware of it and not accepting it to continue.

I commit myself to stop and not go into any point of resentment towards others if I see that I am starting this path of comparison through breathing and using my self will to not participate in this point of judgment and comparison in my world.

I commit to walk the acceptance of my physical and all physicals here by walking the process of correction through self-forgiveness and self commitments until I am here and do not go into judgment but stand in my decision to stop.

When and as I go into definitions of what is normal and what is not and thus start to define society in these terms, I stop and breath, and realize that I am being possessed by the mind within judgment as I am accepting judgment within and as me, I realize that to stop this pattern I must stop existing in this polarity.

I commit to walk all points where I see I go into judgment investigate it, correct it, and direct it into correction when I walk to that point again.

I commit to not accept myself to walk in to judgment and judge my world around me, and thus embrace others as me and grow in understanding of all walks of life that is here in their individuality but always living one and equal with all life.

I commit to walk the path of honoring all life as me in the physical and become in unison with it through acceptance and direction into what is best as I walk this within and as my own physical.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Photo Source

Day 284 – Self Judgment – Judging My Physical – The ‘Flawed’ Eye – Self Commitments to Live – Part 1

Please reference these blogs for further perspective:
Day 281 – Self Judgment – The Point I don’t Want to Face
Day 282 – Self Judgment – Fueling the Imprisonment of Self as the Mind
Day 283 – Self Judgment – Judging My Physical – The ‘Flawed’ Eye

When and as I go into a thought of judgment towards my eye and thus make myself inferior or superior to others in my world, I stop and breath, and realize this is a cycle of entrapment as I am being directed by themind within energy activation and addiction, and thus not self directed within walking the principles of my beingness as life in equality and oneness and what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop the thoughts within breath movement and physical movement until I am stable within myself and am not moved by any thought of judgment of my eye.

I commit myself to walk the acceptance of myself as my eye in focusing on the physical as what it is and how it supports me to see the physical world and how I am life as the physical world within my physical beingness as all of life that is here on this earth.

I commit myself to make strong my eye of the physical in seeing what is really here through breath and thru considering all the life that is here.

I commit to stop the backchat by when it comes breathing and saying no stop, no stop until it is no longer here.

When and as I go into a point of blame towards my eye in seeing it as the problem of why my self interestdesires of being popular and getting attention is not fulfilled, I stop and breath, and realize that I amabdicating the responsibility of myself to life in stopping my self interest to be more then others, breath, and bring myself back to reality through breath and the realization that I am equal and one with the life within all and this polarity desire has got to be transcended.

I commit myself to breath and not accept myself to blame any being outside myself for what it is that I am participating in.

I commit myself to flag this point when I go into to blame and breath through it and not follow it and if I do investigate and see where it is I am abdicating my own responsibility.

I commit myself to stop separating myself into desires, let go of the desires, as I focus and push in my livingequality as I see this is best for all in the end and what is real and will last.

I commit to when I start hiding pieces of myself investigate and write about this, and walk the correction ofacceptance of all of me and stop this point of judgment as it is not real.

When and as I see myself go into a comparison and desire to be seen and liked by those that are normal and thus form a jealousy towards these people because I saw myself as not normal, I stop and breath, and realize what I am doing within this act of comparison and jealousy, I am separating me and life into categories and definitions that are not real but made up in my mind so I can gain something over others in self interest which is not the way to life but death, and I realize that death is the lost of life and really unfortunate as I have wasted my opportunity of full expression of life here within myself and within all, the greatest shame one can manifest as self.

I commit myself to when I see I go into comparison stop and not accept this point, move myself into awareness through realizing my breath and what I am doing here in the physical, and not participate until I can move myself into correction without question.

I commit to move through this comparison point and thus let go of jealousy as I walk the correction of accepting others as myself, when I am with others breath and move to correction by approaching those I resist and finding the equality within the situation and come to resolution.

I commit to come to resolution with those I resist and push the awareness of breath as life as equality among all that walk this earth through pushing it within myself, letting go of the thoughts that separate within myself by not participating.

I commit to let go of the judgment as normal and not normal as this is not the way of life, I breath, and walk the equality as myself in acceptance as I accept myself I will accept all others as self as my principles that I live as one and equal.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Day 283 – Self Judgment – Judging My Physical – The ‘Flawed’ Eye

Please reference these blogs for further perspective:
Day 281 – Self Judgment – The Point I don’t Want to Face
Day 282 – Self Judgment – Fueling the Imprisonment of Self as the Mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my physical eye.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of ‘my eye is so ugly, why does it have to look like this’ direct me into feeling less then others in my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my eye looks to me as flawed and ugly, and thus allow a feeling of sadness come over me because I realized that this means that I am not going to be able to be the prettiest girl and get all the attention I desired from others in my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my eye for me not being able to be the prettiest girl within my environment and thus see my eye as the problem for losing out on this opportunity to get the most attention as being the prettiest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and hide my eye within makeup and the way I stood to not have people notice this flaw in my eye because I was afraid they would judge me as how I have judged myself as ugly and not normal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others thinking that I was not pretty and thusfear not having friends in my world and the attention that I wanted as being popular, desired, and liked by all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide my eye that I saw as not normal in pictures by only having my ‘good’ side show because of fear of people seeing the real way I look, and not wanting to have anything to do with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to fix my eye and make it look like everyone else's eye because I judged it as not normal and thus not acceptable because I had no chance of getting what I wanted, to be desired and given attention by everyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am flawed, and thus become jealousof all others who I saw as normal or had symmetrical looking faces and thus had no notice of imperfections.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and thus judge those with flaws as abnormal and as less then important then those that where normal looking because of my belief of what I can get by being normal looking as my desires would be met, and thus only looked for how I could be this in my world ‘normal’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become jealous of others and their physical features, and thus become rude and angry at them within myself because I resented the fact that I couldn’t have this, I couldn’t be looking normal because I judged my face as abnormal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become resentful of those I compared myself to and saw as better looking then me, and thus imagined what my life would be like, basically better, if I looked like that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare and thus become spiteful towards others based on our physical features and designs, and thus desire to be like them and dislike myself even more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine what my life would be like if my eye were just normal looking and thus become resentful towards it for my eye not being normal looking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea that my eye is not normal and thus I must be flawed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief that those who are not perfect within their look are not the best in society and thus can’t reach their desires in life, which is thus a life wasted and unfulfilled, which I feared greatly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within desire for the perfect look and living in spite and anger towards others because I didn’t have this within my idea of myself and how I saw myself based on judging me as not normal looking and that there was nothing I could do to change this outcome, which caused my resentment towards those that were normal looking become more and more over the years of holding this desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create separation as polarity with myself and life that is here as normal eyes and abnormal eyes, and separate myself from the physical living of being able to see life and the privilege this is within being alive by seeing the eyes in separation to myself as this polarity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my eyes and my physical body for granted and impose beliefs and ideas on to them that are not real, and energy reactions that harm the physical as anger, jealousy, and resentment based on my own desires for self perfection to gain my self interest in being likedand gaining attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be selfish and not consider the life I am effecting as my physical body, and I forgive myself that I have not seen, realize, nor understood the reality of what it takes to see out of my eyes and live here in this physical existence on earth as a physical human body and a physical eye seeing.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Photo Source

Day 282 – Self Judgment – Fueling the Imprisonment of Self as the Mind

So the point I am looking at here within this point of self-judgment is when I see someone rub there eyes around me or go and touch their eyes. You may be like what the heck, why does that bother me when someone touches there eyes, and for me there is like a mile long of emotions, memories, and thought patterns that are being activated at times during this point of people rubbing there eyes around me. I mean this seems very unusual and like not important, but this point has been very tough to transcend because of me accepting and allowing my mind to define me within the perception, interpretation, and definitions of who I believed myself to be as what my mind was saying to me specifically within this case when people would rub their eyes around me.

Now my mind is me because of the way I have participated in it, designed it within how I interpreted and kept that which I believed to be me as a definition I would hold of myself and use over and over again in my living, and thus created my external world according to what I was telling myself as my mind in thoughts, pictures, imaginations, and backchats. This is what I have been creating within myself over the years taking bits and pieces of my external environment, moments in time, specific looks, celebrity looks, past memories of abuse, (ect) and carrying this with me like a heavy bag on my back bringing it here to make me feel bad about myself and lock me into the same depression cycle that comes up every time I have this point of someone rubbing there eyes. It’s like this physical point of suppression and depression I exist as within this playout, and it’s based in these memories of being called a retard in school and believing that this point of my eye is a point that makes me this way and why people were calling me this. I believed I was what others were saying to me because of this belief about myself, and thus I put myself as vulnerable to this abuse, attack, and humiliation because I believe I deserved this and this is who I am inferior to others, I accepted and allowed this of myself as within myself I always inherently believed I was less then others. (This is how I saw myself and judged this word 'retard' during this time I am writing about now, I will in blogs to come redefine and look at the attachments I hold to this word, and walk a point of correction once and for all to stop my judgments and separations towards this word and thus those in this world that have to live in this way.)

So this imprisonment feeling I am describing here really started back in school when kids would call me this, and I realized that my eye on the left side is misshaped or not completely symmetrical with my other eye, which created the reason for me being called this and thus this was something that was true then I reasoned. And when these certain people called me retard, I immediately connected this to the shape of my eye and how it is messed up, and so I believed that they were making fun of me based on this point with my eye. So I grew this great resistance to this specific eye and would be very much focused on it within interactions with others in public, and in my mind the thoughts would race, ‘do they think I am ugly?’, ‘do they think I look retarded’, ‘do they see me as inferior to them?’ ‘they are so much more confident and better looking, I am inferior’, so thoughts like this, making myself completely disempowered within my mind because I am only focusing on what my mind is telling me about this point rather then the physical interaction, what is being said, who we are as life, and so I eventually grew to a point where I could barely talk to others in public because I started to see this rubbing of the eyes everywhere I went.

This rubbing of the eyes was a reaction to seeing my face at times because of the way my eye is shaped for others, it is what it is really, but I have accepted this now and realize the insignificance to this or rather the reality of it, but to get to this point of where I am now with accepting it as a reality of myself and that it does in no way define me is miles away from where I was in the past. It was really a decision and a decision I continually have to walk for myself in each breath as at that time I never believed I could move beyond this point.

Because it was a point of a creation of a prison within myself, what I have created as this perception of myself and it was being held in place and thus I was being imprisoned within it through the self judgment I constantly was participating in within myself every day I was living. I was seeing myself through my mind and through the external world of how my mind perceived things. This was the point of enslavement because I was giving my power away to the mind, I was allowing the mind as myself to direct me and tell me who I am, and within this the mind consciousness system used this against myself because the mind is aware and is trying to survive just like me, it’s survives through me as my energy production, so it’s interest is energy not life as me in support. So it’s been quite a road with this point of inferiority and it was continued and fueled over many years through my acceptance and participation of self-judgment. I will walk the more specific points of how I created this imprisonment within my mind and the points where I haven't faced yet due to fear in blogs to come with self forgiveness and self commitments.

Thanks for reading.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Photo Source

Day 281 – Self Judgment – The Point I don’t Want to Face

So within the past year I have been specifically working with and walking through multiple points and dimensions of self judgment that I have created in relationship to myself, my physical body, and my interactions with others. I had created a possession point within myself with self judgment where I became isolated and could hardly face people because of what was going on within my mind. I have since realized and understood within my investigation of myself as self judgment and great support from desteni sources, that self judgment is my own creation, I am doing this to myself as I am keeping it alive in essence within myself, my thoughts, my backchats, my memories, and thus my living actions. I have found it is based on a point of not wanting to give up my image of control within the image I present as someone who is superior to others. I have always desired to be superior and thus gain power through becoming this image that is presented as superior that I have created in my mind.

This image is created through pictures, media, consumerism, people, past moments, characters I liked, and I use this archive of knowledge and information not only to design me as superior, but also to the design as inferior. I have now defined a specific image and design of what is superior, and now I must live up to that or else I am inferior. So this creating the perfect play out for me to exist within self judgment fueled by comparison in trying to be an image that can not be reached in my mind as superior because it is not real, and thus I torture myself with the play out of self judgment because of me seeing through the mind in self interest and not what is real as the physical as me.

So my image, what I present to others was very important to me and had to be perfect, otherwise I lose my opportunity for what I truly desire and craved, and this attention and admiration from others, this obviously boosted my ego and feeling about myself as superior. So within my mind I had created quite the perfected image and design I had to live up to, and when this design and image was faced in reality, I fell very hard. I will walk this point of a playout that lasted for many years, and open it up and release it within me so I can befree of it, this the point I haven’t wanted to face.

So in my next blog I will start at the pits of this hellish experience I was starting to live out within self judgment that I blamed on others, but realizing now it was all me.


For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Photo Source

Day 157 – What is in a Name? 'Garb' age Part 2 Self Corrective Statements

This is a continuation to the blog Day 156 – What is in a Name? Part 2 – ‘Garb’ age

I commit myself to stop the pictures of digust within my mind when the word garbage is spoken as I realize it is what it is within the physical consequences of our partipcation in physical life.

I commit myself to stop the judgment of the word garbage as gross and disusting and stop the point of correlation to me as my name as garb within it and thus I assosicate myself and judge myself as gross and disgusting because of this point when I realize it has no relevance to myself, the only point of similarity is the letters within a sequence that is the same to the beginning of my name.

I commit myself to stop the negative charge to the word garbage by stopping the pictures in my head of rotting groos waste, and thus breath through this reaction and stabilize myself by focusing on the common sense understanding that it is the consequence of how living process here as life and the physical process of the food process and life process.

I commit myself to stop the judgment of myself in seeing myself as negative when called the word garbage, as I stop and breath, and let go of the judgment I hold of this word as disgusting and gross, and thus see it within the context of a joke or an ignorant person, and thus direct the point within understanding that I am not defined by a word but who I am within what is here or said to me, I define me, I decide.

I commit myself to let go of the judgment of self based on the word garbage, and thus stop the inner conflict when someone calls me this by stopping and breathing when I go into any judgment realizing that I am not defined by this word through stopping my negative association with it and living it for what it is here in the physical meaning of it.

I commit myself to stop the feelings of being attacked based on taking the word garbage personally by stopping the reactions through breathing.

I commit myself to direct myself within a stability point when this word is spoken towards me by stop taking it personally as I realize it is just a word and has no relevance to me but only if I allow it to, so I stop this point from bothering me.

I commit myself to stop the point of giving up and reclusion when I am called this word as I stop taking the word personally by breathing and remaining in in the breath until the emotions/feelings stop, and realize that it is just a word.

I commit myself to stop going into a suppression point when I hear this word spoken and directed towards me and stand stable in the understanding of how I am as equal to others and that I am not directed by words, but I direct myself as
words.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

best names, birth, bullies, bullying, desteni, eqafe, equality, name, naming, parents,say my name, self forgiveness, garbage, being picked on, name called,

Day 156 – What is in a Name? Part 2 – ‘Garb’ age

Now my name is Garbrielle, and within my friends and what name stuck was this name of Garb, I didn't ever really consider this name being anything then just a nickname until it was used in a not so pleasant way. When I first heard my nickname used in a diminishing way or what I found to be diminishing way is when I was called ‘Garbage’ as obviously garbage is rotten, old foul leftovers of human waste, and thus is generally resisted and frowned upon due to the unpleasant smells and appearance of what this look like. So I did not take to kindly in hearing others call me this name, either in a friendly joking way or in a way to diminish me. So everytime I hear the word garbage I recluse into myself as I know that within this point I am vulnerable to attack and abuse, and being attacked and abused was not a point I desired due to me wanting the ‘good’ life of basic self interest.

But within this, is this who I am and how I define myself, someone defined by a word and thus only thinking about myself and my own happineness in life. For a long time, yes, this was me, but this never brought me any form of happiness or satisfaction within a wholeness of myself, but constant inner conflict and swayed by the tides of others. I have learned throughout the years thought that this way of living I don’t want to continue living in this way. I realize that within the word ‘garbage’ I hold a negative charge as I described above and thus within being called this reacted in negativity towards myself and thus created an instability within me based on this judgment. But within the word garbage it is just a word, there is no chain coming out of the word latching me by my feet and enslaving me to it, I am the one doing it to myself by allowing this word to have power over me by judging the word as negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word garbage within a picture in my head as gross rotting waste and thus within this point take it personally when another called me this because my name has the likes of this word within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge this word as negative and thus define myself in a negative way as a worthless person based on others calling me this because of the deliberate nature of the word to be seen as something that is not wanted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thus define myself by being called this name in a way that created an inner conflict based on seeing that people where calling me this on purpose because I am this way worthless and unwanted, but not considering the point of it being a joke or just done in a similarity type of way not personally, and thus just see the dark and negative connotations to the word and the correlation of me within this as being this word as the idea I have placed on it as worthless and unwanted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word garbage as a disgrace and an attack and thus within this saw myself less then others and so went into self diminishment based on defining myself by the idea I had placed on the word ‘garbage’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take being called garbage as a personal attack and thus go into a reclusion within myself towards the other in a giving up way to show that I have defined myself by this word as negative and thus see myself as less then that who called me in such a way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a give up character when I am called garbage as if I am defined and determined by my idea of this word as worthless and unwanted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself in my world as worthless and unwanted and thus take this word as garbage personally as I am already defining myself in such a way and thus further manipulating myself into self sabotage by using this word to define me as what I think about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself based on holding onto the idea of a word as being who I am based on being called it in a way that I deemed demeaning, and thus live into this as self suppression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by how others treated me and thus go into self suppression within my physical interaction with others in a suppression and tightness within the body when this word is spoken.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my physical to restrict based on defining myself by this word as garbage, I realize that the word is a word and it doesn’t define me as it simple describing a point of physical processing and has no relevance to me or my name.

Will continue in the next blog.


Artwork By Fellow Destonian:
Damian Ledesma -

Check Him out here:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/damianldsm?fref=ts
Blog: http://damianspanish.wordpress.com/


best names, birth, bullies, bullying, desteni, eqafe, equality, name, naming, parents, say my name, self forgiveness, garbage, being picked on, name called,