Self Forgiveness Challenge – Competition – Day 517

Photo Source

Day 4 -

I have found one of the roots to the abuse and turmoil in my life can be flowed from this one point of participation, and that is competition. Competition comes up in relation to many different scenarios and context, but it stems from experience of lack within self. This lack is seeking to be fulfilled through a source outside, and so the competition of oneself and another ensues causing many outflow consequences that are not best for all. To understand competition on a more in depth level it is where within self there is a point one is not wanting to take responsibility for, and through that point of not wanting to take responsibility, competition is created in a race to fulfill a craving to win and be better. Competition can also be seen as a form of distraction, one that is destructive in most cases, to suppress the actual real issue that driving this desire to be better and that is not wanting to face the real issue which is self needs to change in a way that is best for all.

Self forgiveness on this point:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to compete with another person in a way were it’s not causing harm, when I see, realize, and understand the internal energies that is fueling this behavior is one of superiority, ruthlessness, and desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a desire to become more then another and so within that have apparently more power in the relationship, when I see, realize, and understand I am only compromising myself due to the desire to gain something that I don’t believe I can give to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of self abdication to the responsibility of changing myself and becoming the solution that is here to support what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to seek my own self gratification over others, where I will deliberately seek out my own self interest and advancement within the understanding that others will not receive and so loss.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek over others, and so take another’s share in this world, where I have more than needed and another ends up with less.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live the equality equation within all movements in my life, where I assess and direct my outflows to be that which is best for all rather than only supporting myself to move forward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea that I am more advanced then another person if I am winning in a competition with them either directly or indirectly in my mind, and create an idea of myself that I am inherently better than the other, looking down upon them and creating a feeling of superiority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become ruthless within who I am in competition where I will seek my own self gratification in a moment of instant gratification where another will lose out as I gain more, and so exist within a form of abuse where I take and another loses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately know that I am taking from another and continue to do so due to the addiction of believing I am better and more and so safe from abuse from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the abuser and so create abuse in an escape from my own fear of abuse from others who compete with me, and so perpetuate the competition playout of win and loss over many scenarios and beings in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of self abuse where I believe I have to compete to survive and so do it out of fear of death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed energy as fear as a driving force within me to compete and so create consequences that are not best for all, when I see, realize, and understand that this equation can be lived out and considered in each breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live in breath here and consider each movement I make in what is best for all, where I take responsibility for myself and actions, and support solutions that will support all.

When and as I see myself go into the desire to win, I stop and breath, and realize this will outflow into a form of abuse either to myself or another.

I commit myself to move into the equality equation of what is best.

I commit myself to take responsibility for my fear and move into a calmness where I can live the word physical here as all are here equal to myself.

I commit myself to find solutions that are best for all and stop the desire to win.

I commit myself to live the word competition in a way of understanding what is best through trail and error, and determining through groups and test what is best for all if not apparently understood, and that which is supportive for all in all moments.

Self Supportive Material -
http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support:
http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
http://www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Revenge of the Ego – Writing – Day 493

The revenge of the ego is a point that effects all humans on the planet, to say differently is just your ego. Now this is something that if not understood is not going to make sense in the sense that we don’t ever learn about humans being egos or what the ego is in fact. This because the whole system that we live from our economic system, social system, cultural system, education system, religious systems are all based on the equation of the ego. This being parasitic, getting before giving and so creating lack and suffering to ourselves. Where life here in what is best is always giving and through that all receive and so self receive, all being equal and one within what is given and so create what is best for all. This is the highest potential and honor of life lived and so what life is in fact - living in what is best for all.

The ego is powerful and knows everything about self, it is me, I have accepted and allowed myself to become the ego, we all have. And yes, we learn about Sigmund Freud and how he identified the ego, but only a few actually studied him and similar such psychologists, and within that study, nothing comes close to actually understanding the extent and control the ego as consciousness has on the human beings of this earth. This is why the desteni material and the message within this material is the destiny of the universe because it indeed goes into all aspects and understandings of what the ego is as consciousness, where it comes from, and the tools and practical ways to transcend the ego and be life here.

These words are specific that I am writing and that are being placed because when I say ‘be life here’ I mean that literally, breathing as life here as one physically lives in each moment. And there is a way to be life, this is what jesus spoke of when he was here, his words were also specific and same with Bernard while he was here, his words are specific, words are living and so what we speak creates, so speaking words one should be specific as words create our life in fact on an individual level to the global level within and without.

So back to consciousness and how the ego has taken over the human mind and bodies, I will be walking through my ego and dissecting, forgiving, and writing out corrective application to transcend my ego and become life here in breath. Life exist we can see that all around us, though what is interesting is that we don’t in fact really exist here in reality, but in our minds, in an alternate reality and this alternate reality or dimensions of our mind reality is illusionary and that is where the ego lives and thrives, in the dimensions of our mind. And we all know the many many dimensions of our mind we can go into, the fears, the thoughts of judgment, desire, jealousy, anger, and they cycle, we all have been spun out based on the way our mind thinks and moves, I certainly can relate to this.

So this desteni I process is specific and is done in a way that we investigate ourselves as our mind, self forgive our mind that is not best for all and living in life as one and equal, and so within that realization writing the living correction that will be practiced in our lives day to day, moment to moment as we walk our process from consciousness egos to living beings here in physical reality. It’s really an interesting journey though it is not a process to take lightly, I have been challenged many times and in many ways, giving up is not an option because life in what is best for all is worth all the challenges I will face. I have committed to face myself, change to live in what is best and so transcend my ego. 

So I welcome you on this journey as I share my writings on the ego dimensions of myself, and so report and support all others who can relate and are supporting themselves to do the same. Thanks for reading, in my next blog I will continue with the ego. In the meantime, listen to this video by Bernard Poolman on the Revenge of the Ego. Enjoy.

Support Material for the topic of Ego:

How Consciousness Evolved to EGO - Reptilians - Part 133
Transcending Emotions - Reptilians - Part 405
Right and Wrong - Relationship Success Support
Veno - Self Forgiveness - Female Ego

Check out more support at:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Others Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Day 136- Appearance Dimension Self Correction

I commit myself to stop judging my face as a point of self definition of being good, where in I stop all points of comparision to others faces, and thus walk the equality point by stopping the trigger point which would be judging my face as good/bad when I catch a glimpse of it somewhere or look in a mirror.

I commit myself to stop looking at magazines, tv programmes, media where in I see I go into a desire to be like someone or desire to get another, where in I will go into a comparison to see I match up, so stopping the trigger point of looking at the media until I am clear and able to stand within each picture.

I commit myself to stop putting value on my face and thus walk the point of equality as the physical as all physical parts, realizing that all here is physical and so all here is life, the face is just a face and thus need not be separated as a point of definition, so stopping the definition of the face as something more.

I commit myself to stop creating a polarity of perfection within defining life by pictures, as this is only done in self interest for myself to be seen as more and gain attention, so realizing this and stopping going into the thoughts of trying to be perfect and walk the perfection as myself as life.

I commit myself to stop living in my mind as a polarity of perfection where in I stop judging myself, so thus I commit myself to when I see I go into any point of self judgment or judgment from another, immediately take a breath, and stop, and apply self forgiveness until I see that I don’t have any points of judgment come up, thus pushing myself to walk the physical stopping the mind.

I commit myself to walk the process to equalize my inner and outer world, where I am stable as I stand, by walking the process of sorting out my inner reality to stop the points of separations and reactions of others and myself, and be able to walk as the physical with/as life.

I commit myself to stop the fear of not being like, and walk the process of accepting myself/becoming comfortable with myself, so I am not determined by others, but I decided who I am in each moment which is stable as I accept me here as all life and live the principle of simplicity – which is what is best for all, which will always be what is best for me.

I commit myself to live in the here as breath, stopping my thoughts of judgment as well as my backchat of judgment of life in pictures, stop this until it is gone, moving through the thoughts with self standing, not participating, breathing,  saying stop delete, until it ceases to exist and I am here as life and able to stand without any internal backchat of judgments of any sort.

I commit myself to bring myself back to the physical when I see I go into my mind as idealizing pictures, and walk the physical, stopping the pictures, thoughts, using breath to stabilize and move.

I commit myself to stop the internal conversations within myself of trying to be better, by stopping the internal conversation each breath, moving through it, and breathing one and equal to the physical here by moving as awareness in the physical.

I commit to stop fear of loss, by focusing on my self here in my breath, and walking the physical as myself, realizing that life is here as me, and I am one with it, so I use my physical as me to walk this as life, and stop the directing of the mind to tell me how I am, always I decide in each breath.


For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

2012, alone, appearance, behavior, bernard poolman, best, character,compete, compete to win, desteni, dimension, equal money system, fear, picture perfect, psychology, rejection, self change, survival, system, win

Day 135- Appearance Character - Thought Dimension Self Forgiveness

The thoughts that activate this character are based on thoughts activating attention on my face, as it is not symmetrical, and thus not perfect, so the imperfection that are there, I have defined as less then other human beings because I have allowed this point of perfection to direct me in defining who I am and who others are to me. This is a point that is happening in my internal conversations and backchat, as it’s points that I would never tell anyone or allow anyone in on, as this I would see as a point of vulnerability, which was unacceptable to show as I was competing in thought because I was in compensation for the thoughts of inadequacy I was feeling based on the imperfection and not being able to match up in my appearance with others around me.

Above is from Blog Post, Day 133 – Appearance Character – Thought Dimension

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my face’s physical structure as I have defined it within a point of definition based on this idea that I need to have a perfect looking face, where in I judge my face as good/bad based on this idea that my face has to be good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my face based on pictures I have seen on the tv, in magazines, and through media that is in it’s structure perfect, and thus compare myself to this picture of perfection I have designed now over time to thus separate myself and enslave myself to this idea that perfection within my appearance defines who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to define myself by the appearance of my face  and thus separate myself only based on a desire to have the perfect look as the perfect face, where in I subject my body to physical abuse as I go into emotions and feelings as this desire is met and failed through the cycles of living into this illusion that one can have the perfect look in separation of self through comparision with others, where I realize I will come down from the high.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have not realized and thus lived the fact that life is not based on pictures within an attempt to trying to be perfect, but is here within and as the living of every breath, the thought that I have to be perfect, is not based on any tangible point of support for any life, but for my own self interest in wanting attention and to be seen by others as special, so it’s a point for myself to feel good and fit in with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use a sense of perfection within my outer look as a way to compensate for the inner turmoil that exist within me, judging life on the outer and not really working with the point that matters, walk the process to sort out the inner separation, to thus not be influenced or defined by the outer in separation to myself as it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others not accepting me and not liking me due to the way I look, and thus create of fear of loss based on the look I have created for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about the way I look in my back chat and judge myself towards others in my internal conversations, where in I will go into suppression if I don’t look a certain way that is the perfect picture in my mind.

I foegive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into suppression based on comparing myself to a perfect ideal picture in my mind of what I look like at my best and thus missing me here in my living to develop equality with my world as it has no relvence to what looks look like in terms of solutions and wlaking equality with all life, because all the life here is self in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an ideal in my mind instead of living here in physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create internal conversations about my look and thus judge others looks to try and win.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse others in my mind as judging them instead living in integrity here as self as equals as all that is here to create a unity that in fact exist as the physical as self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have created fear of loss in terms of others, and realize that I am here in all and thus I can never be lost. 

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki




2012, alone, appearance, behavior, bernard poolman, best, character, compete, compete to win, desteni, dimension, fear, gladiator, picture perfect, psychology, rejection, survival of the fittest, system, win, equal money system, self change

Day 134 – Appearance Character – Fear Dimension Self Correction

 I commit myself to stop fear of survival and stop the desire to be the best in my appearance realizing this is based on self interest where I am trying to gain power over others, and not for what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop competition in appearance of self and so push myself to become more unconditional with others in understanding who they are and what they have been through, and let go of the idea that we have to compete to be somebody.

I commit myself to stop the competition of appearance and become more aware of who we are as physical beings, becoming more aware of my physical body, and so assist and support it rather then diminish it through desires to be the best.

I commit myself to stop the participation in thoughts and judgments about the appearance of myself and thus the appearance of others, and walk with others in the real issues that are relevant with helping change life from being about illusions of competition to living the best we can.

I commit myself to stop limiting myself based on accepting thoughts that there is a way to be the best, when I realize that the ‘best’ is not based on individual self interest to get ahead, but for all of this world, all life, and thus walk the solution as myself to live best for all life, by assisting life here to walk the implementation of an equal money system.

I commit myself to stop cycling within polarities of win/loss, and thus walk to practical solutions such as helping around the house, helping finish assignments, helping with projects, getting to know others that I react to and so I can walk the equality point within the physical, and stop existing within my head.

I commit myself to stop the thoughts, and thus the process of becoming abusive towards others, by walking the process of stopping comparisons between life through when a comparison pops up in my mind, speak ‘stop, delete’ and move my hands as I focus on the breath, to start to release and diminish the automatic reaction to go and participate in the thoughts.

I commit myself to let go of the desire to win and thus let go of all the material and system rewards one will attain for within self interest, such as fame, money, status, reward, and thus I commit to focus myself and all my resources to bringing about change in this world through and with the group supporting an equal money system.

I commit myself to stop fearing others, and thus stop taking things personally, where I walk the process to get to know myself and equalize myself by what’s here, to walk the living realization that all is me, and there is no need to go into a fear and creating an opinion about someone/something, as this is the mind, so stick with physical practical points with others, and if it turns abusive, stand up, practice getting comfortable with supporting myself with being directive and coming to solutions through common sense, using breathing and physical movements, to move through the thoughts and desires to react in these emotions.

I commit myself to face others and stop hiding through isolating myself.

I commit myself to stop the fear of change, and walk change in each moment, pushing this until it is a proven point within self trust, to thus show myself that I am more then the mind, and I can change to support all life.

I commit myself to stop fearing rejection from others, and thus investigate the points that I am reacting to in fear, so to see that part that I am not accepting of myself, and thus start to walk the process to equalize that point.

fear, rejection, alone, appearance, character, dimension, behavior, psychology, fear, compete, win, best, picture perfect, system, survival of the fittest, compete to win, gladiator, desteni, 2012, bernard poolman, #teamlife, #changetheworld