Day 285 – Self Judgment – The ‘Flawed’ Eye – Self Corrections to Live Part 2

Please reference these blogs for further perspective:
Day 281 – Self Judgment – The Point I don’t Want to Face
Day 282 – Self Judgment – Fueling the Imprisonment of Self as the Mind
Day 283 – Self Judgment – Judging My Physical – The ‘Flawed’ Eye
Day 284 – Self Judgment – Judging My Physical – The ‘Flawed’ Eye – Self Commitments to Live – Part 1

When and as I see myself go into a form of resentfulness towards others based on the way of my judgment towards myself as abnormal and them looking normal, I stop and breath, and realize that this is due to my own insecurities and inferiorizing myself based on features of my face that I have defined less then others. I realize this is only going to cause me to live in this cycle of polarities as positive and negative never being stable and thus abusing others based on this resentment I hold.

I commit myself to stop and breath and find why I am going into this point of resentfulness, so then I can realize how to stop it.

I commit myself to stop this point of judgment in polarities to others as good and bad, and learn to accept myself by seeing me equal as life not based on pictures.

I commit myself to stop defining myself by the individual flaws I see in myself and realize I am a physical body and accept myself in wholeness.

I commit to let go of the idea that I am flawed and realize this is my physical form and is keeping me alive.

When and as I see I go into comparison and start separating myself from others do to my mind thoughts of judgment based on this comparison, I stop and breath, and realize that this is going to end in me becoming abusive to myself and others through spite, and so I realize I must stop continuing to exist in comparison as it cause this separation within me and my world due to points that can not be changed.

I commit myself to stop and not accept myself to go into comparison by becoming aware of it and not accepting it to continue.

I commit myself to stop and not go into any point of resentment towards others if I see that I am starting this path of comparison through breathing and using my self will to not participate in this point of judgment and comparison in my world.

I commit to walk the acceptance of my physical and all physicals here by walking the process of correction through self-forgiveness and self commitments until I am here and do not go into judgment but stand in my decision to stop.

When and as I go into definitions of what is normal and what is not and thus start to define society in these terms, I stop and breath, and realize that I am being possessed by the mind within judgment as I am accepting judgment within and as me, I realize that to stop this pattern I must stop existing in this polarity.

I commit to walk all points where I see I go into judgment investigate it, correct it, and direct it into correction when I walk to that point again.

I commit to not accept myself to walk in to judgment and judge my world around me, and thus embrace others as me and grow in understanding of all walks of life that is here in their individuality but always living one and equal with all life.

I commit to walk the path of honoring all life as me in the physical and become in unison with it through acceptance and direction into what is best as I walk this within and as my own physical.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
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Day 284 – Self Judgment – Judging My Physical – The ‘Flawed’ Eye – Self Commitments to Live – Part 1

Please reference these blogs for further perspective:
Day 281 – Self Judgment – The Point I don’t Want to Face
Day 282 – Self Judgment – Fueling the Imprisonment of Self as the Mind
Day 283 – Self Judgment – Judging My Physical – The ‘Flawed’ Eye

When and as I go into a thought of judgment towards my eye and thus make myself inferior or superior to others in my world, I stop and breath, and realize this is a cycle of entrapment as I am being directed by themind within energy activation and addiction, and thus not self directed within walking the principles of my beingness as life in equality and oneness and what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop the thoughts within breath movement and physical movement until I am stable within myself and am not moved by any thought of judgment of my eye.

I commit myself to walk the acceptance of myself as my eye in focusing on the physical as what it is and how it supports me to see the physical world and how I am life as the physical world within my physical beingness as all of life that is here on this earth.

I commit myself to make strong my eye of the physical in seeing what is really here through breath and thru considering all the life that is here.

I commit to stop the backchat by when it comes breathing and saying no stop, no stop until it is no longer here.

When and as I go into a point of blame towards my eye in seeing it as the problem of why my self interestdesires of being popular and getting attention is not fulfilled, I stop and breath, and realize that I amabdicating the responsibility of myself to life in stopping my self interest to be more then others, breath, and bring myself back to reality through breath and the realization that I am equal and one with the life within all and this polarity desire has got to be transcended.

I commit myself to breath and not accept myself to blame any being outside myself for what it is that I am participating in.

I commit myself to flag this point when I go into to blame and breath through it and not follow it and if I do investigate and see where it is I am abdicating my own responsibility.

I commit myself to stop separating myself into desires, let go of the desires, as I focus and push in my livingequality as I see this is best for all in the end and what is real and will last.

I commit to when I start hiding pieces of myself investigate and write about this, and walk the correction ofacceptance of all of me and stop this point of judgment as it is not real.

When and as I see myself go into a comparison and desire to be seen and liked by those that are normal and thus form a jealousy towards these people because I saw myself as not normal, I stop and breath, and realize what I am doing within this act of comparison and jealousy, I am separating me and life into categories and definitions that are not real but made up in my mind so I can gain something over others in self interest which is not the way to life but death, and I realize that death is the lost of life and really unfortunate as I have wasted my opportunity of full expression of life here within myself and within all, the greatest shame one can manifest as self.

I commit myself to when I see I go into comparison stop and not accept this point, move myself into awareness through realizing my breath and what I am doing here in the physical, and not participate until I can move myself into correction without question.

I commit to move through this comparison point and thus let go of jealousy as I walk the correction of accepting others as myself, when I am with others breath and move to correction by approaching those I resist and finding the equality within the situation and come to resolution.

I commit to come to resolution with those I resist and push the awareness of breath as life as equality among all that walk this earth through pushing it within myself, letting go of the thoughts that separate within myself by not participating.

I commit to let go of the judgment as normal and not normal as this is not the way of life, I breath, and walk the equality as myself in acceptance as I accept myself I will accept all others as self as my principles that I live as one and equal.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Day 283 – Self Judgment – Judging My Physical – The ‘Flawed’ Eye

Please reference these blogs for further perspective:
Day 281 – Self Judgment – The Point I don’t Want to Face
Day 282 – Self Judgment – Fueling the Imprisonment of Self as the Mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my physical eye.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of ‘my eye is so ugly, why does it have to look like this’ direct me into feeling less then others in my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my eye looks to me as flawed and ugly, and thus allow a feeling of sadness come over me because I realized that this means that I am not going to be able to be the prettiest girl and get all the attention I desired from others in my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my eye for me not being able to be the prettiest girl within my environment and thus see my eye as the problem for losing out on this opportunity to get the most attention as being the prettiest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and hide my eye within makeup and the way I stood to not have people notice this flaw in my eye because I was afraid they would judge me as how I have judged myself as ugly and not normal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others thinking that I was not pretty and thusfear not having friends in my world and the attention that I wanted as being popular, desired, and liked by all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide my eye that I saw as not normal in pictures by only having my ‘good’ side show because of fear of people seeing the real way I look, and not wanting to have anything to do with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to fix my eye and make it look like everyone else's eye because I judged it as not normal and thus not acceptable because I had no chance of getting what I wanted, to be desired and given attention by everyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am flawed, and thus become jealousof all others who I saw as normal or had symmetrical looking faces and thus had no notice of imperfections.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and thus judge those with flaws as abnormal and as less then important then those that where normal looking because of my belief of what I can get by being normal looking as my desires would be met, and thus only looked for how I could be this in my world ‘normal’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become jealous of others and their physical features, and thus become rude and angry at them within myself because I resented the fact that I couldn’t have this, I couldn’t be looking normal because I judged my face as abnormal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become resentful of those I compared myself to and saw as better looking then me, and thus imagined what my life would be like, basically better, if I looked like that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare and thus become spiteful towards others based on our physical features and designs, and thus desire to be like them and dislike myself even more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine what my life would be like if my eye were just normal looking and thus become resentful towards it for my eye not being normal looking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea that my eye is not normal and thus I must be flawed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief that those who are not perfect within their look are not the best in society and thus can’t reach their desires in life, which is thus a life wasted and unfulfilled, which I feared greatly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within desire for the perfect look and living in spite and anger towards others because I didn’t have this within my idea of myself and how I saw myself based on judging me as not normal looking and that there was nothing I could do to change this outcome, which caused my resentment towards those that were normal looking become more and more over the years of holding this desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create separation as polarity with myself and life that is here as normal eyes and abnormal eyes, and separate myself from the physical living of being able to see life and the privilege this is within being alive by seeing the eyes in separation to myself as this polarity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my eyes and my physical body for granted and impose beliefs and ideas on to them that are not real, and energy reactions that harm the physical as anger, jealousy, and resentment based on my own desires for self perfection to gain my self interest in being likedand gaining attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be selfish and not consider the life I am effecting as my physical body, and I forgive myself that I have not seen, realize, nor understood the reality of what it takes to see out of my eyes and live here in this physical existence on earth as a physical human body and a physical eye seeing.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

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Day 282 – Self Judgment – Fueling the Imprisonment of Self as the Mind

So the point I am looking at here within this point of self-judgment is when I see someone rub there eyes around me or go and touch their eyes. You may be like what the heck, why does that bother me when someone touches there eyes, and for me there is like a mile long of emotions, memories, and thought patterns that are being activated at times during this point of people rubbing there eyes around me. I mean this seems very unusual and like not important, but this point has been very tough to transcend because of me accepting and allowing my mind to define me within the perception, interpretation, and definitions of who I believed myself to be as what my mind was saying to me specifically within this case when people would rub their eyes around me.

Now my mind is me because of the way I have participated in it, designed it within how I interpreted and kept that which I believed to be me as a definition I would hold of myself and use over and over again in my living, and thus created my external world according to what I was telling myself as my mind in thoughts, pictures, imaginations, and backchats. This is what I have been creating within myself over the years taking bits and pieces of my external environment, moments in time, specific looks, celebrity looks, past memories of abuse, (ect) and carrying this with me like a heavy bag on my back bringing it here to make me feel bad about myself and lock me into the same depression cycle that comes up every time I have this point of someone rubbing there eyes. It’s like this physical point of suppression and depression I exist as within this playout, and it’s based in these memories of being called a retard in school and believing that this point of my eye is a point that makes me this way and why people were calling me this. I believed I was what others were saying to me because of this belief about myself, and thus I put myself as vulnerable to this abuse, attack, and humiliation because I believe I deserved this and this is who I am inferior to others, I accepted and allowed this of myself as within myself I always inherently believed I was less then others. (This is how I saw myself and judged this word 'retard' during this time I am writing about now, I will in blogs to come redefine and look at the attachments I hold to this word, and walk a point of correction once and for all to stop my judgments and separations towards this word and thus those in this world that have to live in this way.)

So this imprisonment feeling I am describing here really started back in school when kids would call me this, and I realized that my eye on the left side is misshaped or not completely symmetrical with my other eye, which created the reason for me being called this and thus this was something that was true then I reasoned. And when these certain people called me retard, I immediately connected this to the shape of my eye and how it is messed up, and so I believed that they were making fun of me based on this point with my eye. So I grew this great resistance to this specific eye and would be very much focused on it within interactions with others in public, and in my mind the thoughts would race, ‘do they think I am ugly?’, ‘do they think I look retarded’, ‘do they see me as inferior to them?’ ‘they are so much more confident and better looking, I am inferior’, so thoughts like this, making myself completely disempowered within my mind because I am only focusing on what my mind is telling me about this point rather then the physical interaction, what is being said, who we are as life, and so I eventually grew to a point where I could barely talk to others in public because I started to see this rubbing of the eyes everywhere I went.

This rubbing of the eyes was a reaction to seeing my face at times because of the way my eye is shaped for others, it is what it is really, but I have accepted this now and realize the insignificance to this or rather the reality of it, but to get to this point of where I am now with accepting it as a reality of myself and that it does in no way define me is miles away from where I was in the past. It was really a decision and a decision I continually have to walk for myself in each breath as at that time I never believed I could move beyond this point.

Because it was a point of a creation of a prison within myself, what I have created as this perception of myself and it was being held in place and thus I was being imprisoned within it through the self judgment I constantly was participating in within myself every day I was living. I was seeing myself through my mind and through the external world of how my mind perceived things. This was the point of enslavement because I was giving my power away to the mind, I was allowing the mind as myself to direct me and tell me who I am, and within this the mind consciousness system used this against myself because the mind is aware and is trying to survive just like me, it’s survives through me as my energy production, so it’s interest is energy not life as me in support. So it’s been quite a road with this point of inferiority and it was continued and fueled over many years through my acceptance and participation of self-judgment. I will walk the more specific points of how I created this imprisonment within my mind and the points where I haven't faced yet due to fear in blogs to come with self forgiveness and self commitments.

Thanks for reading.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

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Day 281 – Self Judgment – The Point I don’t Want to Face

So within the past year I have been specifically working with and walking through multiple points and dimensions of self judgment that I have created in relationship to myself, my physical body, and my interactions with others. I had created a possession point within myself with self judgment where I became isolated and could hardly face people because of what was going on within my mind. I have since realized and understood within my investigation of myself as self judgment and great support from desteni sources, that self judgment is my own creation, I am doing this to myself as I am keeping it alive in essence within myself, my thoughts, my backchats, my memories, and thus my living actions. I have found it is based on a point of not wanting to give up my image of control within the image I present as someone who is superior to others. I have always desired to be superior and thus gain power through becoming this image that is presented as superior that I have created in my mind.

This image is created through pictures, media, consumerism, people, past moments, characters I liked, and I use this archive of knowledge and information not only to design me as superior, but also to the design as inferior. I have now defined a specific image and design of what is superior, and now I must live up to that or else I am inferior. So this creating the perfect play out for me to exist within self judgment fueled by comparison in trying to be an image that can not be reached in my mind as superior because it is not real, and thus I torture myself with the play out of self judgment because of me seeing through the mind in self interest and not what is real as the physical as me.

So my image, what I present to others was very important to me and had to be perfect, otherwise I lose my opportunity for what I truly desire and craved, and this attention and admiration from others, this obviously boosted my ego and feeling about myself as superior. So within my mind I had created quite the perfected image and design I had to live up to, and when this design and image was faced in reality, I fell very hard. I will walk this point of a playout that lasted for many years, and open it up and release it within me so I can befree of it, this the point I haven’t wanted to face.

So in my next blog I will start at the pits of this hellish experience I was starting to live out within self judgment that I blamed on others, but realizing now it was all me.


For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

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