Sunday, April 21, 2013
Day 281 – Self Judgment – The Point I don’t Want to Face
So within the past year I have been specifically working with and walking through multiple points and dimensions of self judgment that I have created in relationship to myself, my physical body, and my interactions with others. I had created a possession point within myself with self judgment where I became isolated and could hardly face people because of what was going on within my mind. I have since realized and understood within my investigation of myself as self judgment and great support from desteni sources, that self judgment is my own creation, I am doing this to myself as I am keeping it alive in essence within myself, my thoughts, my backchats, my memories, and thus my living actions. I have found it is based on a point of not wanting to give up my image of control within the image I present as someone who is superior to others. I have always desired to be superior and thus gain power through becoming this image that is presented as superior that I have created in my mind.
This image is created through pictures, media, consumerism, people, past moments, characters I liked, and I use this archive of knowledge and information not only to design me as superior, but also to the design as inferior. I have now defined a specific image and design of what is superior, and now I must live up to that or else I am inferior. So this creating the perfect play out for me to exist within self judgment fueled by comparison in trying to be an image that can not be reached in my mind as superior because it is not real, and thus I torture myself with the play out of self judgment because of me seeing through the mind in self interest and not what is real as the physical as me.
So my image, what I present to others was very important to me and had to be perfect, otherwise I lose my opportunity for what I truly desire and craved, and this attention and admiration from others, this obviously boosted my ego and feeling about myself as superior. So within my mind I had created quite the perfected image and design I had to live up to, and when this design and image was faced in reality, I fell very hard. I will walk this point of a playout that lasted for many years, and open it up and release it within me so I can befree of it, this the point I haven’t wanted to face.
So in my next blog I will start at the pits of this hellish experience I was starting to live out within self judgment that I blamed on others, but realizing now it was all me.
For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help