Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Day 38- My Face to Face

Judging my face/eyes based on the past and based on the desire to be beautiful, which has caused massive separation and turmoil within me over the years because I am holding onto this idea that I am and can be the most beautiful as within I see a ugly being.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge my face.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare my face to other faces in this world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to create the idea within my mind that my face has to be beautiful and thus go into comparison with others to see if I am beautiful or not.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare myself to others based on an idea that some are more then others within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the polarity of myself that I am more/less then other (me's)within what is here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge my eyes as messed up due to them not being symmetrically perfect and thus go into judgment of myself because I am not perfect symmetrically.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge my eyes due to the past of others judging them and making fun of them thus judging my face/eyes in a negative charge due to holding on to the belief that I am ugly.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame god/someone else for making me this way, when I have created and defined myself by myself and thus I have created the misery within all that I live by my self.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame a god/someone else for the way I am experiencing myself as less then when I realize and see it is I myself who have defined myself as less then and judged myself in this way by allowing comparison and competition to direct me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow comparison and competition to direct me when I realize this is not real as all that exist here is myself so thus I am comparing me to me and only competing with myself within illusions that I have made up like there are some who are better and some who are not so good = not real an illusion based on ego and my self interest to be special because I am not accepting me here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge my eyes/face based on memories of the past and hold onto them here within life and thus go into a point of self judgment when around others if their is any motion to their eyes where I will see my eyes as the problem and go into inferiority because I fear that the other is judging me in there head and thus I fear being seen as less then them.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to assume that someone else is judging me in their head based on my idea and belief that the motion made was in relation to me and thus make the whole point about me and how I am feeling/being treated/ being accepted instead standing in the physical equal and one and stopping the judgment, comparison, competition within myself to everyone I met. I realize I must stop the separation within me for it to stop within my world as myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being seen less then another because I am in competition and comparison to everyone here within the desire to be more and be the best and thus when I go into a possession point of seeing others as judging me I will go into inferiority and limit myself due to fear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge others actions as a personal attack onto me when I realize and see it is me who is creating this idea that I am being judge when the real truth is that I am the one judging myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge my physical body and thus exist within this desire to be beautiful when I realize real beauty does not exist here, our physicals are our life source here and thus what gives me life here, why do I judge it and compare to other physicals because I desire to be more and be seen as special.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to be seen as more and special among beings I desire to like me or see me in a certain way because I want a relationship with them and thus I believe me being me will not be enough to impress them so thus I am judging myself and not seeing myself as good enough.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to impress others based on the way I look because I don't see them liking me any other way.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to sabotage myself to such an extent where I don't even feel the ability to be able to be liked by another within and as just being me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself through this point of self judgment and the judgment of life here I have created myself in such a way to only be living based on polarities and ego where I am not actually living among life here but only competing, comparing, and diminishing others to be on top because I am not accepting myself and seeing myself as worthy equal and one to all because I am not living this.

To be continued.....

When and as this point comes up where I desire to go into self judgment, comparison, competition about my face/eyes or physical in any way, I stop, breath, move my physical body, and stop the participation in the thoughts or ideas of judgment. I stop judgment of all life here as myself and thus focus on my self application, my living in and as walking self perfection, and stop the focus on how others are seeing me and who I am being here among others, but live and be physical.

I commit to stopping self judgement and the judgment of all beings here through breathing through the desires, wants, and needs and focusing on my physical one and equal with all here as we all are physical and that's it.

I commit to stop comparison to others and see life as me, putting myself in their shoes, and stopping my desire to be more.

I commit to stop trying to impress others and just live the acceptance of myself through living myself here in what I am doing, and only focus on self application of mySELF.

I commit to stop competition and the desire to be more/win as I am only competing with me and I thus will myself to live one and equal with all as I would want for myself in acceptance and real love.



self judgemnet, comparision, ugly, beauty, beautiful girls, sexy, perfect body, self abuse, self hatred, equality, equal life, eqafe, journey to life, desteni, 2012,

1 comment:

  1. Cool Gabrielle:)
    My face is assymetrical as well

    ReplyDelete