Day 34- Annoying Bitty You are a Loser

annoyance; when you've had backchat in your mind towards people where you have won and they have lost, and then you manifest annoyance towards them as your armour of protecting your 'i was right and you were wrong


I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into superiority as the idea that 'i am the winner, and you are the loser' when a point in my world come up where I have interpreted myself as right/winner and the other as wrong/loser and accepted myself to separate myself within a personality of I am better, I beat them and your less, you loser.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to beat another being in this world to give myself a boost within myself of acceptance as I am not seeing myself within equality with all but in a survival mode where I have to win and compete to be on top.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become addicted to this energy rush as winning and beating others and thus got lost within who I am here as one and equal with the other and thus in physical reality only diminishing myself and separating myself from life is I am trying to compete with what I already am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the feeling of happiness come over me when I beat another being and feeling proud because I did good by the system and was able to prove that I am better then another thus a worthy competitor.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compete and become addicted to the energy rush as winning when others lose and I separate myself from oneness and equality based on my desire to be seen as more to satisfy my mind as personality and be accepted by the system as system worthy.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from life as oneness and equality and desire to be accepted as the system by being a winner, which is only driven off of competition and self interest.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compete with myself and desire to beat myself and thus cause abuse due to this desire of ego to win against myself as I see all here in life is me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to when I win, go into annoyance towards another if there is a dispute or they give me a hard time in any way, this to thus keep in place the winning stance of myself and create conflict within the other so thus there is a division I can use to stay on top and keep the other suppressed by allowing the annoyance to direct me into diminishing them and defending who I am as right.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use annoyance to keep another suppressed by cause deliberate friction with the other due to my belief that my winning status with them could be proven wrong or argued against so I must go into this stance as defiance and friction with that being so there is a barrier and thus a protection to keep me in place as the winner/right and them as the loser/wrong and stay on top while fighting at all cost to keep me there with annoyance as a tool to keep myself safe within my own mind and justify the abuse I am allowing through remaining in this separation that I am more then you.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to abuse others and create abuse through suffering within my own self interest to stay on top and thus not be able to be questioned and prove wrong because I fear looking like an idiot if I am proved wrong so use annoyance as a point to buff this point of being proven wrong and looking like an idiot.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being made wrong by another and thus made to look like an idiot and have others see me in this way because I fear being a loser.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear to be labeled/seen/called a loser by others and thus I will strive to be the winner and protect this stance as a winner through conflict and friction as annoyance with the other and thus I have a better chance to remain as the winner and not have to face this point with others of being a loser all the while not realizing that I am living within a cycle of polarities back and forth of win/loss where this cycle will repeat until I equalize myself by living equal with all life as what is real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to care and be defined by how others think/see/speak about me as if what they say/think/see of me is who I am and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself by others and thus diminish myself by reacting in polarity's as win/loss and abusing life through conflict and friction, which I realize is only abusing myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow fear to direct me here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not consider the other as me and walk what is here to be walked in correction of myself and what is best for all and stop my ego, fear, and irritation as a protection for my ego stance to remain on top.

When and as this point comes up of going into annoyance, I stop breath and see what is the point that is showing itself where I want to win as a personality defending my stance and thus within this stop the fear of being seen in a certain way, and walk the correction that is necessary in self honesty to be walk and live it with the other I am reacting in annoyance to. Find the solution that is here for what is best for all and live it, stopping the polarity play outs of trying to be more and winning, and thus fearing losing and being humiliated, so thus equalizing myself with all here and living in physical practical reality with all as myself to find solutions rather then creating more problems.

I commit to stopping reacting to others in fear and thus trying to protect myself from fearing being less then by trying and pushing myself to be the winner, and thus I commit to live in equality as the physical to solutions that will support all involved.

I commit to stop the fear by facing the fear step by step and writing myself out and self forgiving myself to see why I have the fear in the first place.

I commit to living here in physical reality and considering all the points involved and I commit to stop my reactions to others in how they approach me but live stability and direct myself one and equal as how I would want someone to direct and approach me. So I commit to stop taking points in my world personally and walk me here as process to equality and oneness.

2012, annoying people, competing to win, competitors, desteni, eqafe, equal life, equal money, equality, how to succeed, I am the winner, i beat you, loser, system worthy,