Monday, May 28, 2012

Day 43 -Sup-Press Me Down Please, I'm Afraid

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself in front of others because I fear sounding stupid when I realize and see that this is only my self projection of the judgments I am having of them and thus I am limiting myself due to the judgments I hold of others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself due to the fear of failing at what it is that I am expressing in and will be seen as less then others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge others and thus be in competition of others when I meet them as my starting point.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within suppression of myself because I am competing with others and allowing fear of being less then others direct me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as competition towards others and thus define my living based on how I will be able to win and become more then others and thus go into suppression if I see that I will not be able to win.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into suppression to escape and hide from having to put myself out there in front of others and be vulnerable.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear putting myself out there and being vulnerable because I fear I will get hurt.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear getting hurt by another and fear another seeing me as less then who I am here based on the belief that I will get hurt if I don't walk this point into perfection which caused me to feel this vulnerability.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself because I fear being seen less then others here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself because I fear being seen as stupid.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself because I fear being seen as boring.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself because I feared being called out by another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself because I fear being humiliated or embarrassed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself because I see myself not as good as others and thus give up before I even give something a go.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself because I see myself less then others and not as capable as others thus always have the belief that I will fail and not be able to succeed completely in what it is I am doing thus I use suppression to not have to face the failure in front of others so I just don't even try and just get comfy in the depths of suppression of myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself because I don't accept myself here and see myself able to do anything worth while in a meaningful and perfect way.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself because I believe that I will hurt and diminish others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself because I fear letting others down and having to face them when the shit hits the fan so to speak.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself because I fear facing people.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself because I fear that I will not make it.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself because I hold myself up to a standard of perfection and thus do not actually live and walk perfection which is a process but expect it every time in immediacy which is not realistic nor practical and actually impossible because it is not being walked in real space time but here and immediate within my mind showing it is not real but a belief made up in the head and showing the irrationalbility the mind exist within and as in this reality because how can I be perfect when I don't know what it means to be perfect because I haven't walked the understanding of it as this take time and direct participation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not give myself the opportunity to live and express myself in freedom because I am allowing fear and feelings of self diminihsment to direct me thus I accept and allow myself to go into suppression so I don't have to face myself here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into suppression to escape myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use fear as a means to not have to face myself and thus I realize this is only a point of self interest where I am not walking through the fear which is not real but allowing and accepting diminishment of myself here as fear and allowing the mind to direct me as fear is a mind creation is not real, is not substantial thus not rational to allow something as fear to direct me that does not in fact exist but I have made up within myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from myself here as life and allow suppression and fear direct me instead of me here standing directing myself in what has to be done to walk equality and oneness as myself for what is best for all and walk the process that is here back to life as who I am as all in oneness and equality to what is real as this physical existence where all are.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into beliefs about myself and others within allowing and accepting polarities in self interest so I can be comfortable and not have to push myself out of my comfort zone to have to walk the change and stand as life as what is real and what is best for all meaning push my comfortability and walk in instability for a moment to become stable for real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be directed by beliefs and polarities which I realize neither are real as they come from the mind in separation to me here as life and thus I stop participating in them and walk within the physical and correct myself by stopping the energy participation of myself in these separations as belief and polarities.

When and as this point to suppress myself comes up in my world to escape taking responsibility for myself or not wanting to face a fear, I stop, breath, and immediately walk into and as what I resist and want to suppress and face the responsibility I created and walk through the fears and judgments I am holding. I walk within the focus and understanding of who I am here and keep it physical with what is real and what is common sense and can be directed in practical terms for what is best for all. I realize and see that the only way to transcend this feeling of fear and desire to suppress myself to hide is by facing myself each and every moment and using my self honesty to walk my resistance and walk the process of myself to re-align with who I am here one and equal with all life.

I commit to stopping going into suppression and facing my fears and resistances in self honesty.

I commit to give myself some room to breath and not expect myself to be perfect when I haven't walked self perfection yet in my living.

I commit to be humble with myself and gentle and allow myself to breath and move at a pace I am comfortable with not going into ego to win or do this for others, but walk my SELF support to walk this for real and transcend this fear of failing and facing myself here within and as my world.



why do I suppress myself, no self trust, fear of life, fear of people, fear of living, limiting self, self perfection, living stable in this world, equality, equal life, equal money, eqafe, journey to life, desteni 2012

No comments:

Post a Comment