Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Day 45- Starting with My Secret Mind

Within and as myself more and more as I have started walking my process and becoming more of my 'secret mind' which is the part of myself within my mind that I keep secret and within this place I can be/say/do anything that I want, I realized that is like a constant chatter, a constant movement, and it's very noisy and anything goes. There is multiple dimensions going on within the secret mind as it's based on the accumulation of myself in all the suppression, anger, hatred, fear, memories, past events, judgments, comparisons, achievements, and all the other separations that I have existed as, but to start within this blog I will look at me within it, being the creator of the secret mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from existence as a whole and within and as each part, where I created a secret place for myself to go and create dishonesty's as myself by keeping things from others through keeping it in my head in a way where I would be ashamed or in fear to say to ones face.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to create a space within myself that is secret where only I know of and can create the desires and imaginations I want that will satisfy my self satisfaction not considering the implications it has for myself within existence and existence as a whole as I am equal and one with the creation of existences and thus I am creating it within spitefulness and friction because I desire to be the winner and be able to bring down my 'opponents' without any consequence.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within the idea that there's no consequence for my secret mind activity because it hasn't effected anyone else so I though, it's only in my head. Realizing now that this is not so as what I think in my secret mind within myself I become.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe this thought that 'these thoughts in my secret mind are not of any harm and are not effecting others' when I could see and understand that it was having an effect through my actions and movements towards others that was done in competition and spitefulness based on the thoughts that were created within and as the spaces in my secret mind and thus these thoughts being accepted continually through and as my secret mind as anything went within that space

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow thoughts that are abusive and spiteful towards others based on the belief that no one will know and I have freedom because it's just my mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within the application of myself as the idea that 'no one will ever now and it's just in my mind' justifying and giving myself validation to go ahead and abuse life in my secret mind even though the nature of it was a dishonor and devaluing life as myself in a way I would not want done onto me, but based on the secret chambers I accepted it because I desired to do this because I was in competition to be the best and diminish others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abuse others and continually feed the desire to be on top within my own secret mind creating a net of deception within myself that will always catch me in and as shit as this is what I am creating in the ignorance that this is not affecting anyone which I realized is not true I continued it because it was easier and I desired to abuse life so I could be seen as the best.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not care about the abuse that was going on within my mind and continue to participate in it based on my desire to be the winner and be on top.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think about abuse and spitefulness within my secret mind towards others even though I realized that it will cause the harm of others eventually through my actions or words but accept and allow it because it made me feel in control and powerful.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to be in control and more powerful then others and thus build this up within my secret mind as it was so easy.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within the secret mind in easement as it's easy to exist as a system robot abusing and diminishing life as all systems in this world are created around this system of abuse and competition, but here I stop this and walk the path of equality and oneness with all as myself no matter what it takes so I as all are truly free and able to all live in a life of decency free of mind influence but able to be trusted as we are living in self trust within ourselves through self honesty and self forgiveness through our own will and self direction.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abuse others in my mind in secret because I was to cowardly to say it to their face and ashamed of the thoughts that were being created.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to participate in thoughts and deception that bring down others and create spitefulness and conflict within my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to create spitefulness and conflict in my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow the secret mind to exist and direct me to abuse life and devalue myself as life because I am not here in reality but in my mind creating the separation of me one and equal with substance that is here for all but only given to those who are trusted, me within my secret mind I am not able to be trusted as it's not visible and can not be cross reference and the nature of it is evil as its not in equality but within competition and me living to be better then others which I will never be able to be one with all as I am deliberately separating myself so I can exist within and as energy as the mind so I realize it's best to stop the secret mind and live openly so self trust can be built within myself and my world.

When and as this point of the secret mind emerge where I go into this secret chamber to be spiteful and abusive, I continually stop the participation and do not accept myself to give the thoughts, emotions, feelings attention and push breath and working here in the physical. Accumulating the self honest truth of what is here as my physical application in the tools of writing, self forgiveness, self honesty, and self corrective application to disentangle and discontinue my ego as desire and need for power and control over others.

I commit to stop participating within my secret mind.

I commit to walking the process of walking out of my secret mind so thus I can stand stable here in self trust.

I commit to use breath and the physical body as my support to keep me stabilize and walk the equalization of myself to all life in what is best for all.

I commit to walk as an example for others through writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application that this is possible and can be done within and as each one through our own wills.


secret mind. self trust, trusting self, can i be trusted, evil thoughts, imagination, no consequence, mind delusion, deceptive behavior, equality, equal money, equal life, eqafe, desteni, 2012, journey to life

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