Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Day 16- Depending on a Man

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as a need to have a relationship with another to feel secure and taken care of.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to depend on another to have my needs met instead of directing myself to stand equal with the other as I direct myself in what needs to be done for myself so thus stopping the dependency on someone outside of me to take care of me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see myself less then others and thus believe I need them in my world to feel safe and taken care of.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see within that need of wanting another to keep me safe and secure I am giving my power away to another within polarity of me feeling weak while another is strong instead of realizing the fact that I am my own security and care as I am the one who is here to walk this as myself no one can give me security and care if I don't give this to myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to attach care and security onto another as male as I have seen and come to believe that women need men to be secure and raise families as this world is tough and will be much harder with only one at the head of a household.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe within and as society's 'norms' that say that women need men to have nice lives and thus have money come in to be secure and taken care of.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to follow suite within and as society norms of man need to be their in women's lives to be able to run a household comfortably and be safe as I have always believed that what is normal is a man and women married with kids, the man works and the women take care of the kid, within this I realize and see that this is an assumption and done through tradition and is not necessarily so as it does not depend on if a man is with me or not to have security and care in my world, but who I am within whatever I live.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to play into this role with a man and thus become dependent on him to keep me safe and secure as I saw this within the man based on the physical size of the man and the idea that men have to be the bread winner for the relationship because they are big and strong and women are small and weak. Within this I realize that this is not an equal agreement and thus is me separating myself from the man in the attempt to gain security instead of walking this as myself and remaining equal with care and giving between us in an agreement that we are not in dependence of each other but indeed walking as equals in physical agreement to walk what is best for both  here within the principles of equality and oneness as who we are.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to define a being based on the physical stature and presentation instead of realizing and seeing we are here as equals no matter what the picture present as, we are all life and thus all capable and responsible to direct ourselves as equals as one as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire a man to take care of me as I have come to define myself as inferior to men and see it as an easy way out as I don't have to put that much effort in, but just stay in a relationship and do all the point such as sex, cleaning, taking care of him, and just playing the motherly/girlfriend role.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself into a role as motherly and girlfriend as I realize these limit me within who I am as an equal with another and thus limiting me to be free to express myself as equal as I have put barriers on me as being a girlfriend and motherly instead of standing here as equal in physical reality and walking this in an agreement with another to live this to the best of our abilities with all life equal and one to us as we walk.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into desire within self compromise to have life be easy by giving into the relationship play out of need and desire and thus enslaving myself to another as a co-dependent in energy exchange to continue these feelings of goodness and liking towards the other as these feelings are based on need from the other and desire to get something from them. I realize within this that this is a entrapment as I have submitted myself and my equality within becoming attached and addicted to the other in separation as what I can gain from them and thus use this through giving what they need to get what I want, and thus becoming in a energy play out of give and take until it runs out and the relationship dies.

When and as this point within my world with another as in a relationship comes up to gain security and be with them for them to take care of me, I stop, breath, and focus on the physical as who I am. I realize that this point of dependency on another is separating me from me as self empowerment by standing equal and one with all as who we are. I will walk this point of becoming equal with all and become self sufficient within who I am and what I do to be able to stand equal with all and not become dependent on the other in a polarity play out. Thus I walk to become in an agreement with another as equals in all ways and thus walk this into physical application within all points of living together til we have become this with all our words as ourselves equal and one within physical living in creating the best life we can create for all here as we do for ourselves.

I commit to stop my addiction to others in needs and desires and stand within equality and oneness to become my own self empowerment through my own self direction to thus be able to stand equal in fact with another in physical living here.

I commit to walk an agreement with another out of the mind as need and desire and all the facets within what this entail in separation, and become self intimate with another as myself in self correction to become truly here and truly present with another as myself as we walk from mind dependency to self empowerment by living as equals, and live this for and as each other in to the best beings we can be as we stand and direct ourselves as equals walking together here.

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