Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Day 30 - Getting Lost in Naivety?

Looking at how I have accepted myself to remain in a state of naivety, where I am not totally responsible for myself because I don't know any better, seeing myself as innocent based on being young. Within this I see it as an ignorance is bliss type experience where because of the age I am at, which is not young in terms of responsibilities and work (i am 28 lol) in the matrix, but within myself still desiring to be a kid, not responsible and just free in the ability to fall back into being naive and unaware of the world around me and what is expected of me, and just get lost in myself as mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself based on the position I have come within my family as one of the younger kids (2nd to youngest) as I was always given an easier time and treated as a kid because everyone was older as I grew up and thus always seeing myself free to explore and be innocent through the desire to not have to take full responsibility of myself and walk the necessary steps that is taken in this world to walk what is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use the word innocence as a positive charge to revert into a point of irresponsibility through nostalgia where I can go free within myself and totally enjoy myself without consideration of the other nor my own well being, but use it for my own self interest to not have to really push myself instead of realizing the origins of this as ourselves which is what is real as the innocence of us as equal and one within substance to all that is life, in this is where our true innocence reside once this process is done and we have returned to the innocence as our natural state as pure life/source/substance as who we are in.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a positive charge to the word innocence in a sense of bringing me back to the carelessness of innocence as a child and not have any care in the world or responsibility to do anything about what I see.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to be back in those days where I didn't know or realize the extent of the fuckedness of the human race and not have to do anything with my self and what is here as our process of re-birth but remain in ignorant bliss as this world is being annihilated by this very mind desire.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go within and as desire of the past of 'better' times to thus in essence waste time and not have to push myself and face  myself in what it will take to walk the process to completion as a being who walk in the responsibility of life as self.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to waste time here within desires and wants when I realize this is just stalling and within this stalling I realize the consequence of suffering that is going on each breath as I stall and not push myself to other beings in this equal and one world as this physical existence in waiting for life as self responsibility to get aligned and fix the problems that plague humanity as we infect ourselves within and as our beingnesses as the virus of procrastination and allow the abuse and suffering  continue further and further while I drag my heels.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to indulge within this point of nostalgia of the past as a kid in 'innocence' within and as the realization of the trouble and ills in this world and thus within this realization I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow fear and resistance to direct me and stall the inevitable which is to face myself as my mind and accumulated consequences and walk the correction.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use the excuse of 'I am just a naive being' to direct me in a point of procrastination to not have to walk what I realize I must walk to in fact become equal and one with myself as my mind and this system as a whole to walk my point in this existence to bring about a world best for all life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow and accept procrastination and resistances as points of indulgence as nostalgia to direct and influence who I am here and what I realize I must walk to get to peace and real freedom and innocence as our true essence which is the oneness and equality of all and living this for real within and as all here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear myself as the mind and that I will fail.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear failing when I realize this very thought is sabotaging myself within and as my walk as the point of who I am is unknown and thus undefined until I  walk it here and thus it is done, I am my own direction and thus I realize I have to take responsibility for myself to in fact get this done, the fear is another excuse to not have to walk and push myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be directed by fear into immobility and stagnation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting this point of myself to be stagnant when I realize what must be done as an accumulated step by step, point by point process of myself with and as my mind system and eventually I will be here and be stable in myself, I see this is fact as I have proven to myself that this in fact is true and can be done if I will it.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to indulge in any point of excuse or nice feeling as nostalgia, and stop all these points of energy accumulation, walk here in the physical, and correct my living to stand equal and one with all as the physical.

When and as this point as excuse of naivety and feelings of nostalgia come up, I stop, breath, and get back to the physical thru moving my body. Realize that these points are in fact traps to stop myself from walking and pushing myself in process so I will become stagnant and immobile. I push myself and walk thru these points of mind energy as resistances and stagnation to here as breath in self correction.

I commit to stop all nice feelings as nostalgia and ignorance is bliss and walk my process thru breathing and corrective self change in my living step by step until I am here as all as one as equal.

I commit to correct my living, stop all judgment, and move on to solutions within equality and consideration of all here as I would for myself.

I commit to stop all points as excuse as being naive, and take responsibility for myself in all areas and walk the tools and correction til this process is done.

Visit Desteni Wiki for Easy Reference on terminology used within and as these journey to life blogs, thanks and enjoy!

process, stagnation, getting lost, I am lost, immobile, mind traps, matrix, equality, equal money, eqafe, 7 year journey to life, journey to life, 2012, desteni, garbrielle goodrow

No comments:

Post a Comment