Day 25- Not Getting What I Want

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into a mini temper tantrum when I don't get what I want and expect due to the fact that I was expecting a certain point to manifest and when it doesn't I go into anger and frustration and blame because I am addicted to the desires I am expecting to occur.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into mental tantrum towards life when I don't get my way and tear through someone with back chat and nastiness so I can diminish them within myself as I seek revenge against them for not fulfilling my expectations of desire I am addicted to.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into back chat and thoughts of abuse and nastiness due to me taking it personally that someone did not give me what I wanted and thus I go into attack mode.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to berate and abuse others within my mind because I am feeling inferior to who they are here as I have come to believe that I am at a disadvantage and thus within this position I have created within my mind to use all means to become more then them, even if that is to cause abuse and suffering through my words or actions due to the thoughts I am creating towards and about them.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take actions of another that happened in real time as a personal attack unto me without any understanding or direct knowledge of what the circumstances may be, but based on assumptions of 'it must be because they don't like me or theirs some problem with me' I go into inferiority towards the being and thus try to diminish them as I am seeking to gain control again through becoming in some way superior to them.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take real time actions that happen in life as a personal attack onto me and that it is being done to harm me when I realize and see that within myself I can not be harmed and see that I have no real stability within the situation as I am completely reacting due to ego and desire.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to let go of this desire to get what I want at all times and thus become impatient and angered when what is suppose to happen in my mind and thought do not manifest within this I realize that thought is not real nor in practical consideration of the physical as space time thus only looking at the situation in an egocentric 'me' only outlook and thus missing the actuality of what is here and causing unnecessary abuse based on assumptions that are unfounded and based on reactions not fact.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be directed within thoughts as assumptions through accepting and allowing reactions of my desires not being met and thus go into backchat and eventually abuse in my living based on thoughts that aren't real and creating unnecessary suffering to another and the diminishment of myself as life here in equality as I am only taking myself into consideration and my own needs.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to miss myself here within physical practical reality and within the consideration and physical living of others within my world and within this reality and thus realizing that life is not always going to go to plan nor going to be able to be predicted and thus I must and will walk to become flexible and patient with others allowing life to unfold as it will and thus go with in equality and oneness and let go of the desire to control and have my ego engaged and fulfilled.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist only within desire in a quest to attain something from outside within this world based on me not accepting myself here and being comfortable with who I am and how I live, and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use desire as an escape to not have to face myself within who I have become as a being who dislikes herself and always accept this point of want and need to exist because I am not fulfilled within myself as who I am existing as based on judging and comparing myself to others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to believe that I am missing something within myself and thus search for it within points outside in my world in hopes that I will find that missing piece that makes me complete, and thus when I don't get what I expected and desired I go into fear because I believe I need that to continue living and understanding who I am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe and perceive myself as less then other life here and go into fear in the presences of others based on my idea that I am not as worthy and that I am not as good.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into beliefs about who I am here within and as myself as I easily get lost within the mind dimensions of judgments and comparisons, so thus i stop judgments and comparisons and stop thoughts by remaining here living in reality and accepting myself continually as all life in equality as I realize this is what is here as life and thus I am here a part of life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into beliefs and judgments about myself that I am not worthy and less then other beings based on the way I perceive things through my mind and thus react to others based in these beliefs and judgements and cause abuse.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to perceive life through the mind as thoughts and feelings/emotions which is limiting me to existing within and as all life, as mind is only based on energy relationships as positive/negative and thus I am only existing within these two points of polarity in generating this which will always cease to continue eternally, but within life, life is here within everything, and thus I as life am part of the everything and can thus exist as everything forever as this is what is here as the physical and is such the evidence and truth of this, I must only will this as self in oneness and equality with all as me here in life as this physical existence to be it here for real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within and as the mind as energy play outs for feeling and emotions as desires and self fulfillment when I see and realize this in fact is not real as it is only within the mind dimensions which is made up and created by me thus I can stop it and let go the desires and emotion addictions and live here within the physical as who I really am as all life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be addicted to desire based on being addicted to this point of fear of life and so allow anger and frustration to direct me towards others in blame when I don't get my desires fulfilled.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow desires to direct me and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow anger and frustration to exist and direct me in my living.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use revenge towards other when I see that I am only going into a mental state of withdrawal and inferiority and thus I stop blame and inferiority and live within myself here as one with life and live equal as who I am with all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself with wants and desires and abuse life when I don't get what I want.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into separation and blame others for what I created and accepted within me as taking things personally, and thus I realize and see I must accept myself here and stand as the solution in oneness and equality with all as myself to be free of these mind games as want and desire and just live and enjoy all here as who I am really am one with the physical.

When and as this point of desire come up to get what I want, I stop breath, and do not accept the desire to direct me as I realize this will go into a point of expectation and thus abuse as separation towards others and myself will ensue, thus I stop the point at it's core within stopping my desires. I accept me here fully within who I am and thus accept all here within who they are, walking in common ground with others and coming to solutions and best for all scenarios stopping blame and anger when things turn out different then planned. I allow life to be lived and I adapt and transform myself within all situations as acceptance and equality as I realize what is here is my creation and thus to live in oneness and equality I have to take responsibility for myself and my creation as my life and walk equal and one as the physical with the physical and to live best for all as practical solutions we all can enjoy.

I commit to stopping all points of desires when they arise and stand within and as practical reality here as physicality to come up with solutions and best for all scenarios to be in equality with all.

I commit to stop being directed by energy as my mind within emotions/feelings/desires and live here within and as my physical participation, slowing myself down, breathing, and letting go to the addiction as mind energy to life here in living as myself with all in equality.

I commit to stopping taking things personally and live within and as the acceptance of myself with all here and allow myself as well as all life to live and find common ground stopping all conflict.

I commit to stop fear of others and my insecurity of who I have been in the past, and push to remain here and stand equal with all as I realize I am here and thus I am equal.




not getting what I want, wrath of hell, cry baby, raising hell, inferior, addicted to desires, attack, consciousness, mind, mental states, equality, equal money, desteni, journey to life 2012,