Looking at the point of rage and this energy I exist within towards others in my world as hate, and what within myself I am accepting and allowing to not actually face within me and my living, but blaming and thus projecting into another is what I will be walking in this blog. Hate is the opposite of love and thus it's a cyclical polarity cycle that is existing within me that I see I participate in based on my self interest and not getting what I want.
I am owed money from someone and she is stalling to not have to give it to me by saying she does not have it, here, within myself I go into assumptions and thoughts of diminishment towards her based on my knowledge and past assessments of what she has and what I know of that she pays for. Thus within this abusive energy as 'hate' that I 'feel' towards another being, I realize that I use the thoughts of assumptions I have created and base my living with this person on to use it against her and creating war as hate to get what I want achieved. This only furthering the hell that is here as this world, as this is the hell that is existing within me, fighting and conflicting with myself because I desire something that is impossible to have because I am missing myself within it, I am missing me. These energies being fueled by anger from the thoughts that I am not getting what I want, which is the money and thus go into superiority to thus diminish her and force her to give me what I want, the money = the energy.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into superiority towards the other in an attempt to put fear in the other so I have an easier time getting what I want.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the other due to trying to be more powerful and get an ego boost from winning through my force.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to try and dominate another through my desire to be seen as the best and most powerful, and thus use anger and hate as a fuel to create the energy needed to be more powerful all the while abusing the other and diminishing myself as an abuser to life = myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as thoughts of separation towards another being be more powerful and force them to give me what I want, energy = money.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give more value to money and my desires then giving her the freedom to give me the money when she has it instead of going into ego as anger and hate and create a build up of energy through participating in the back chat that she is selfish and doesn't consider anyone else but herself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the other and define myself within and as energy as rage to then go into a point of hate as back chat thoughts of diminishment towards the other and live this out by speaking loudly and trying to diminish the other through my spoken words.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into energy as rage and thus speak in a loud voice to try and diminish the other through fear so I can get what I want out of the situation even to the suffering of another that I have caused deliberately.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to deliberately cause suffering and pain to another based on holding onto this point of ego as desires to get what I want and thus when I don't, no matter what the case my be, I go into blame towards the other and desire to get revenge on them.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into revenge where I am deliberately trying to cause the abuse to the other in an attempt to release this now accumulated energy of built up frustration and anger that I have created through the back chat of assumptions and thoughts that she is to blame, and thus cause deliberate abuse to myself as her and separate and diminish myself as I am the other that I am abusing.
I forgive myself that I haven't yet accepted and allowed myself to live among all here within stopping desires and giving to others as I would want to receive, and thus within this I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to give to another without the desire to receive something in return and thus when I do not get my due I go into anger and rage because I fear that I have lost something.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear lose when I realize and understand all that is here is me and thus I can never be lost as I am here one and equal with all, only fear as lost can exist in the mind as a made up illusion I am allowing to direct me as I believe it to be real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within a world where one have to fear the lose of something as I have created a separation among myself where I have separated myself with myself and thus have veiled myself to myself through this illusion that I can be lost not realizing in this that I have always been right here, in the flesh as the physical as breath as all as one as equal, and in essence as life can never be lost, it's not real it's all in my mind being created through energy as feelings, thoughts, and emotions.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within a point of mind as energy through defining myself by feelings, emotions, thoughts, and thus reacting to others in separation by following these points as if they are who I am and thus miss myself here within the other and abuse life in this process and thus abuse myself as life into self diminishment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place money and material things within a possession point of ownership where I desire to keep a hold of all my things and keep note of what is owed as I desire to have what is mine here and given back if I share it to another.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to give the gift of life here unconditionally and realize those who do not give are here as me and thus require examples to see what this entail and what this brings about as the giving up self as all to all here within equality instead of conflict is true freedom and true self expression as you are giving to your self the freedom of life to live and be here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not give myself unconditionally to all in the realization that when I give all to all here equally I will receive equal and one this giving as the equality of all in the oneness of ourselves as life is all encompassing and thus I will want for nothing because all will be here as me to enjoy.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be blinded by rage in deliberate knowledge of what I was creating as abuse but based on the release of energy that was now built up due to the anger and rage feeling I created through the hate that I experienced towards the other and thus accumulated the consequence of separation which little by little diminishes me as a being of life to the mind as energy where eventually I will cease to exist as the mind as me will end.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give my power away to the mind based on accepting and allowing to exist within the polarity of love/hate and thus create myself from these energy outflows as anger and rage, and happiness and excitement, which are not real as they don't last and thus only create the cycles of the up and down polarity poles that this will create in my world and I see as I participate in it with the unsettledness and abuse I create when I exist and continue to direct myself from this starting point with others as mind as relationships of energy attachments rather then standing here within and as life in equality finding solutions and considering the other as myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to engage in the emotions of anger and rage and the experience of hate that I am allowing to direct me towards others in my world as my desires weren't met and thus creating the selfishness within and as myself that I am projecting onto the other based on greed and impatiences.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be directed by desires as greed and impatiences to thus separate myself from others in what is here as what is physically practical fact within the matter that is real as physical and thus direct myself in decency with the other to consider their situation and their circumstance and come to solutions that is able to be lived and agreed by both to thus get the money issue resolved and have their be a solution that is best for all.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow the mind as ego as energy addictions to direct me into abusing others for my own self interest pleasure of releasing energy and gaining energy through the relationship connections that are built and thus participated in to attain what I want and thus feed off these relationships in both negative and positive poles to gain my energy as my self interest so I can be happy again and get my needs met.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to live within energy relationships as mind illusions within my world where I abuse life and separate myself here form physical substance as who I am and as who all are here in the perfection of life as breath in the physical.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abuse life due to greed as ego.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abuse life due to rage and anger as emotions and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as emotions in separation to life here as me in equality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself into the illusion as mind creation of polarity poles of negative/positive as I realize and see I am both the negative and positive and thus must and will walk to equalize myself with what is real and stable, the physical as life which is and always has been one and equal with me.
When and as this point of anger as rage comes up and I go into blame as a hate for another being, I stop, breath, and continue breathing to re-align myself with my physical body by going to another location and stopping the participation with what ever I am doing completely. I breath through all reactions as energy movements to go back for more, and simply let go of the point of participation in the drive to gain and release energy onto others. I realize and see that it is abusing life and thus abusing me, I stop abusing life as I would not like to be abused myself.
I commit to stand and stop all points of energy addiction as thoughts, emotions, and feelings as mind as I see them come up until they are stopped and I am here stable within and as the physical as breath.
I commit to walk within and as myself to let go of all separation within the polarity play outs I currently exist as til I remain here and am not moved by anything, only my own self direction.
I commit to live here among all life when and as I have come to stability within my direction as myself in finding solutions to what is here as separation and faulty living by standing as an example as I walk myself to life and thus help and show others the way to walk as themselves to life through and as the self honest living here as me.
I commit to stop my ego and stand here among life in humbleness and gentleness as caring and sharing for the other as this is for me too.
hate, rage against the machine, raging, rage, spiteful, i hate you, self hatred, abuse to others, fighting, conflict, debt, love/hate, relationships, equality, equal life, equal money, desteni eqafe, 2012
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