Anger towards parents Sf - Day 18

 Anger towards my parents 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become angry at my parents for having me and in this I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for the decisions i have made in my life causing me to have hardship and failure, relieving stress and pain through blame and anger as energy releases through this blame and anger, but i see, realize, and understand it does not stop the anger/blame and thus conflict, but only perpetuates it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately blame and become angry at my parents because they brought me in this world and so in this i become spiteful toward them because i myself do not want to take responsibility for the messes in my life i have created and so say things like 'i wish you did not have me' to my parents where i want them to suffer as i believe i have for them bringing me into this world. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame and so abdicate my responsibility for the choices and decisions i made to get me into a point of pain where i myself see, realize, and understand brought me to this point, and that i can not blame others outside myself as i understand i am the one walking my own life, i am the one making the decisions and have the self power to do what is self honest in the moment or not.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to praise my parents when it suits me to where i feel empowered based on ego desires that are giving me a sense of accomplishment or pride based on family/parent accomplishments, where in a  desire to be seen in a positive light and o see my parents/family in a positive light as this makes me feel worthy/important and thus i receive the energy of goodness without having to actually create it as myself where i actually live in a way that is worthy of life and prideful in myself for walking the self honest path that is best for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in this anger and blame move into hate where i grow a form of hatred toward my parents for not securing my path in this world and guaranteeing success, when i see, realize, and understand practically my parents did the best they could with what they had and what they new of in the space and time they were in.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see my parents as the reason for my flaws/failures instead of taking responsibility for these failures/flaws and working with changing them, processing them in practical self change to make them become stronger as this is practically what can be done with what is here and that my parents are not able to change anything for me, i realize, see, and understand i can only change these points of weaknesses myself. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my parents for their flaws/failures and see them as less then others/me based on these points, and i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my parents where i see them as the root of my failure as i came from them instead of recognize the gift i was given in this life as life and what they did to keep me alive, and secure to have a life and have the ability to walk my process and opportunity to create here.

When and as i see myself going into the desire to think thought patterns about how i am disturbed by my parents, i stop and breath, and go into humbleness and gratefulness for them doing their best with what they had and giving me what they could for me to have a secure platform to live my life from and create with opportunity. I commit myself to stop going into thoughts about my parents, breathe, and live the word self responsibility and self movement where i start moving myself physically to make my flaws such as addictions into self discipline and become stronger in these.

I commit myself to stop judging my parents and stand in their shoes to see where they are at, and support them to be there best self as how i would like if i was in their shoes, i commit myself to see my parents as equals, and walk in oneness as i correct myself first and stop abdicating my responsibility to energy and the mind. I commit myself to live the word humbleness as i see i am also flawed and have weaknesses like all, and so i am an equal as i also am not perfect, thus i work with my own self perfection as one and equal as all life. 

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com 

www.desteni.org

Day 14 - Hate and Blame as Anger Manifest

 

I have been dealing with suppressed emotions, the emotions that I don't necessarily want to look at or face/confront as they are shameful and uncomfortable, but they are here and they are starting to accumulate in my most recent point i am facing with these points, and this has been in relation to my parents. I am seeing that all the points within me that I have regretted or fell in, I am subtly blaming them for as I am seeing that it is a way for me to release the built up energy as I have been accepting thoughts of them so I don't have to face myself and so change cause of addiction, addiction to energy, laziness, and not pushing beyond limitations. I see and am aware of within myself though that in fact mechanically I am generate the energy of blame and anger within me by thinking and accepting the thoughts of blame/anger toward my parents in this instance and not stopping, breathing, and forgiving myself. 

So it's not actually really who self is or the function of life here, thinking/generating emotions and feelings, and reacting to others, it's limitation as it's illusion, it's a machine within us as us and all around, I am powering as myself within myself with outflows as energy creations from the thinking and so the body creates the energy as a by product causing abuse and self abuse and lots of suffering which is the horror for real. This is happening, i understand to a degree the process, but it seems like it can't be stopped, this another thought cause i can stop it and i have, it takes self discipline and self will/honesty and many others support points. The 'I can't' is a red flag to question as it also is blame and an excuse, why? because I am seeing in this self is unwilling to do the actual will and effort it takes to stop, so it's a matter again of discipline and self fortitude, I was also looking at how life could easily do this with me, blame and become angry at me as i do with others, yet it doesn't as that is not the principles and directive of life itself, it is here and walks the alignment with what is best for all as best for self. This is in the innocence of what is here as life, who we really are beyond harm/abuse/suffering.

I also see I am fearing and trying to avoid my consequence i can see, the facing of my reality where i can't blame anyone or anything as i walked the walk that i am standing within and also i see that again i am taking it to the worst case scenario, so here i see the solution, to walk out of these alignment points, walk out of the points of what i am working and creating in my reality with self acceptance and acceptance of what is here. Separating myself from what is here is the first point of self illusion, and in this once self accept what is here, work with directing it into a solution that is best for all. 

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think thoughts such as 'she is the reason i am so dumb, she doesn't do anything to help herself' 'he doesn't care about anything but work, he didn't take care of me properly' 'she is a robot that just wants to be lazy' 'he is a so nasty, i inherited this hate and anger for others because of him'.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed thoughts of rage anger and spite and hate onto others within myself because i am in pain due to failing to walk my consequence of my actions to a satisfactory degree and in this blame others because i don't want to face the pain and shame of what i have done which is not walked the path of self honesty in the moments where i was given direct and opportunity to walk it. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live in the opposite polarity with the beings that i am thinking and reacting to in negative emotions (in this instance) such as blame and hate, to when they support me and my life works out and things are good, see that i am in a positive stand seeing them as great and lovely beings due to the energy addiction i am seesawing in my mind within the ever flowing ride of the mind and the polarities that exist. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think about and allow the thoughts and in this react in the physical toward one of these beings in anger, shouting and telling her to not do something for me when she was giving me something she thought i would want/need. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take out my anger onto others and in this create a demonic disposition within me where i am not standing in self acceptance of what is here, and in this direct in the principles of patience, self honesty, and what is best for all life. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get angry within myself at others when i see its actually self anger for not standing in a way that is of life and giving into temptation as addictions and mind energy as good feelings/experiences.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that all i can do is exist in this energy, when in reality, it will dissipate through breathe and i can direct myself through self forgiveness in the moment and so stop perpetuating the outflow of harm and separation that is flowed out when i live into the thoughts and act them out.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the pressure that builds up through accepting and allowing thoughts and living into the energy creation is who i am, when in reality it is not, i realize i am of substance as life and that the mind is a separate entity taking but not giving back and thus I see when i live into this i am taking of life and not giving back.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for the thoughts i have accepted and live out as anger toward others in my world and reality as reaction when this is unacceptable as i am creating the actual reaction within me and i am the one allowing it to be lived out as i am generating the energy as i think and accept it as real by speaking and living it out as yelling/being harsh to the other.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become harsh and hateful toward others due to my own self dishonesty and lack of self will to live what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my reality wanting to make it about others, when i see, realize, and understand it is actually about self here as life here as myself and what i am going to do with what i see and what i create as what is here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thoughts as lies that i am accepting and allowing about the others when in reality i am creating and accepting these thoughts without at all standing and physically being able to be/understand from the others perspective and thus it is not logical nor factual with how the thoughts originate from as mind distortion based on memories/pictures/ideas/beliefs, all here say/lies and not fact as reality as reality is one and equal as life in what is best for all. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame others and not faced the fear of shame and self humiliation i may experience when i go deeper into the pains and misstakes i have made in my past and in this accept them, forgive them, correct them, and change to live in a way that is best for all. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to instant gratification instead of standing in gratitude for life here and the breathes i am giving in this time to be able to engage in my process of self change to life so i can support myself and my reality in a way that works and will help build a way where life can come through and find the will to live, as i walk this in my day to day.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe through the points of life here, but stand in a way that is best through forgiving the thoughts, deleting them, breathing through the energy, and standing strong until it's done and the energy release here. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself or others as dumb and smart, i see, realize, and understand that learning is a part of self creation as expression and is done within breath as a unique process of self realization in the moment here, and thus it's not a separate point to judge react to but part of self creation here as life as self. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed judgment of any being instead of realizing the others is me and i must forgive my reaction/judgment and correct and direct life as myself in a way that allows all to express freely without causing any harm.

I commit myself to let go of the thoughts in the moment with breathe and not allow myself to react.

I commit myself to write out the memories or speak self forgiveness on the memories that i am still reacting to to release them and stop the harm/abuse in my reality to others and myself.

I commit myself to live gentleness and self acceptance as i move through the pain of the falls/misstakes and walk the commitments to change myself and not allow this again.

I commit myself stop blaming others and see that i am one and equal to them as i am them as we are of the same substance and direct myself and so eventually i can direct reality to be best for all.

I commit myself to live in gratitude for life and this physical reality that gives me opportunity to be here and continue to have the opportunity to create myself in a way that is best for all. 

www.desteni.org
www.equalmoney.org
www.creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com


Self Help course to start the journey to life:
lite.desteniiprocess.com


Best for all life until it's done.

How I Learned to Trust Myself with the Desteni I Process - Day 536

 

I discuss in this audio how I learned how to trust myself. I was quite an insecure person with little self trust, now standing within myself in self trust and confidence on a mission to support self change and the world to change in the best way possible. This to support and teach all to become stewards of the earth so we can all learn to live in decency and dignity.

Check out the links for more on the process at desteni:

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course - 

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!

www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Self Supportive Material - 

www.Eqafe.com

Forum support: 

www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki: 

wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page: 

www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group: 

www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook: 

www.facebook.com/DIPLite

21 Day Self Forgiveness Challenge - To Defend and Protect - Day 516

Day 3 -

I listened to an interview called Crucifixion of Jesus - Protection, Defense, and Fear tonight through eqafe which spoke about the underlying issues and mechanisms that one goes into when feeling attacked by another and trying to defend and protect ourselves. I could relate scenario and found a few areas of my life where I go into this mode. What was discussed in this interview was that when a person goes into this form of attacking another or in other words goes into a mode of defending and protecting themselves, somewhere within them they went into a fear that was triggered causing them to react in such a way. I can relate this to the fear that I experience within relationships I am in, and one of the major fears I see triggers me is the fear of my survival being threatened, like somehow or in someway the person/people triggering this experience within me has power over me and thus has power over if I will survive or not based on what is being said or done.

I realize obviously the only way I can be powerless in a situation or limited is if I accept and allow another to make me experience this, so here I will walk self forgiveness on this fear and see what corrections will needed to be implemented to take responsibility for myself and find ways to support with change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of self victimization when I am triggered by a words or words in my reality that trigger the fear of being abandoned and so where I will have to be alone and fend for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of self vicitimzation and blame toward another for triggering this experience within me of feeling like I can’t take care of myself or protect myself and so within that fear that I will be left and have to fend for myself and so possible die within this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone and on my own to have to survive because it is new to me and I believe I would not know what to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that within my living environment that there is many resources that I am able to use and gain support from within my life and also that I am resourceful within myself so if worst comes to worst, I do trust that I will be able to provide for myself and find ways of common sense resolutions to problems in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of fear within the thought or imagination that I may die, when I see, realize, and understand that death is a part of life and that within life there is no need or reason to fear as this will come, though what will define me is how I lived.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for the fear that is coming up within me as fear of death when I see, realize, and understand that I blame it on another and make it their problem.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that within what I have walked within my life that I am always responsible for my own reactions as fears and that within that there is a way of moving into a living word or a solution that’ll support with moving through the tougher points of fear as I see, realize, and understand that I don’t have to move with fear, but can move within common sense living in self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make it about the other person instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that it’s not about the other, but about who I am within myself and how I move into and as a point self responsibility and finding ways to live with myself and others in a way that is supportive and moves into solutions first and foremost.



I commit myself to walk self change within these moments of fear death through realizing that I am not in extreme danger and that I can resources solutions.

I commit myself to stop fear of death as it’s inevitable and live here in what is best as my life.

I commit myself to live what is best for all and stop fear in thought, word, and deed through breathing and moving into solutions that support with communication and understanding the other/situation with more depth and unity.

Day 290 – Self Judgment – “I Deserve to Suffer” – Self Commitment Statements to Live

Please reference the blog - Day 289 – Self Judgment – “I Deserve to Suffer?”, to see the self forgiveness in correlation with these self commitments. 

When and as I see myself go into the thought that ‘I am flawed, and I deserve to suffer’, I stop and breath, and realize this is a point of self manipulation to gain attention from others and not face the reality of myself as being a bully to me. I realize that I have to walk the process of letting go these self judgments within and as me so I can see myself from the physical within and as what is real as the physical and let go of the mind definitions as I realize they are not real, they are illusion, and I can and have to will this point of self definition and direction in who I am in each moment of breath.

I commit myself to let go of all the thoughts that are of a self judgment and immediately apply myself in breath to not allow the energy as depression take over and walk through the point of low that comes with self judgment.

I commit myself to remain in the physical by moving through within and as the physical body as a stable support through focusing my movements, my breath, and focusing on the fact that this is what gives me my life to live, my physical body and my breath.

I commit myself to embrace myself within all considerations and appreciate myself within the things that I walk through within a point of self-discipline and self-dedication, giving me self-praise and self-love.

I commit myself to let of the desire for perfection and focus on my physical perfection in my living, moving in the direction of this physical reality as perfection through my blogs, vlogs, and living action with self and with the group that walks this into being.

When and as I see that I go into the point of seeing it is time to abuse my physical by mentally beating on it, I stop and breath, and immediately realize and focus on the fact that this is not real, it’s coming up as thought, which is not physical and the nature of it is self harm, harming myself and physical which is unacceptable as this is what is supporting me to live.

I commit to accept all forms of the physical and thus walk the process of correcting that which is harmful to the physical and self as the physical within self honesty and self correction through self forgiveness.

I commit myself to stop all forms of judgment onto the physical and embrace that point by speaking the purpose of it here as it giving me life. For example, the eye gives sight, the heart gives flow, the breath gives life, and connecting the physical with the physical purpose of it in reality to see for real and sound for real who I am for real as the physical and that it is all support.

When and as I see I go into a point of self interest in not caring about what I do to myself or others and thus cause harm due to ignorance, I stop and breath, and realize that every action I take has an equal reaction, and thus I realize I am interconnected to everything and everyone and my actions have consequence.

I commit myself to stop and breath before I go into a point of action, becoming physically here and assessing my next step within the basis of how I would want to be treated and what will be best.

I commit to continue to walk this point of stopping my actions and breathing before I act through accessing my next action in equality and oneness until I am remain here and can direct myself in full consideration of others as myself in what is best.

I commit myself to write out all points that come up that don’t align with equality and oneness and find what the practical solution is to implement this alignment of equality with others in my world.

I commit to become humble within all my interactions with others and reap what I sow eventually which will be a humble self through and through living and pushing physical realizations in self living to all as equals as one life here.

Day 289 – Self Judgment – “I Deserve to Suffer?”

Here I am looking at this desire within this self judgment persona I have lived out for many years in my life and walking it out to transcend, I see within this I believed that I deserved this self torture I was giving to myself with the beliefs and ideas that I had something wrong with me, that I was dumb and was barely useful in anything, and that it didn’t matter if I live or was gone, I was useless and not worthy, so it was really a point of self hate. I didn’t like myself within the life I had and the body I had, and thus because of this point of hate towards myself, I allowed myself to abuse and harm my physical body through mental torture and fear. I desired a specific outcome, a specific way of life, a specific look, and thus when I was not able to achieve these things, I created the opposite, a point of suffering because I didn’t match up to my ideal and thus I was not going to live the life I wanted, and it’s my fault, it’s my bodies fault for being flawed, and this I didn’t care what happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to program within myself that I deserve to suffer due to the belief that I am ‘flawed’ and cannot be fixed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to suffer because I was angry at the fact that I was ‘flawed’ and within this anger want to destroy that part that was causing this anger and pain in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my physical body that which allows me life for the thoughts in my head that I am flawed and thus I deserve to suffer because I am not the idea in my head as a perfect body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my physical body because of how others treated me and thus instead of seeing the comments of others as a point of insecurity on the other, I blamed my body as the reason of these comments and saw it as the problem.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only care about my own self interest and miss the others in my world in the harm and abuse I caused as conflict and spite due to existing in jealousy and comparison, and thus abusing others due to my desires for getting what I want and take my anger out on them because I didn’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so blinded within my desire to be happy and thus created the absolute point of polarity as misery within my world because I could not get my self interest and thus blamed that which I could everyone else and everything else to not have to face the creator of this suffering and that would be me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create suffering within myself and my physical body, and desire myself to suffer because I believed I could get what I wanted in self interest.


For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Artwork By Fellow Destonian:
Rozelle de Lange

Check Him out here:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rozelle.delange
Blog: http://rozelledelangeblog.blogspot.com/
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/Rozelledelange

Day 72- 'Why don't you Love me?'

I had a dream last night of a past relationship, it was interesting because it brought me right back to the feelings and emotions I experienced while being with this person, and it was a feeling of not being loved.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the desire to be loved. I realize and see that this desire is based on the fact that I don't love myself and thus don't love others as searching for love is not being love. To live love and be love is to stop the desires and feelings for love from another, and live love as a solution for this world to bring about a world that is best for all and all life are free to enjoy their expressions as life, which is real practical love as this gives all life freedom in being life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame and become angry at another for me not receiving what I expected to make me feel good as love, and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to treat another in anger and blame based on how I was feeling and projecting onto them within my own self interest as a want to feel good in being loved. I realize and understand that within this desire for another to give something to me that I don't believe I have within myself, I will never be satisfied as I am denying myself the love that is who I am. I am life and thus life is who I am and to deny myself any point of life here within this world within giving to others the joy that self can give, then I am not going to every receive love as you only receive what you give. If I don't give the love of myself to others one and equal as who I would want it, I can't blame nor expect any different outcome from another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not give how I would like to receive and thus go into blame and anger towards another because I was not willing to do what I was expecting. I realize and understand I am the other and thus giving to the other is giving to myself and thus within this giving I create a oneness of life here in equal giving as all is giving to all and thus all is received by all and this will create the best world for all, what we always have wanted to receive for ourselves, but the point to always consider and look at within myself is if I am giving it equal and one.

I commit myself to stop the expectation for love from another. I commit to be love as life and give love as life to all here within all ways I am able to give to all that which I can give, and thus this will always be the greatest reward.

I commit to stopping going into blame and anger towards another when I don't get what I expected and desired but always consider myself within what is here, and walk the correction to always give to others how I would like to receive.

I commit myself to always push myself and be an example for others to show what giving to another is and live this so life is giving instead of desiring, and we are open and free here by giving this to/as ourselves.

Day 29- I Hate You

Looking at the point of rage and this energy I exist within towards others in my world as hate, and what within myself I am accepting and allowing to not actually face within me and my living, but blaming and thus projecting into another is what I will be walking in this blog. Hate is the opposite of love and thus it's a cyclical polarity cycle that is existing within me that I see I participate in based on my self interest and not getting what I want.

I am owed money from someone and she is stalling to not have to give it to me by saying she does not have it, here, within myself I go into assumptions and thoughts of diminishment towards her based on my knowledge and past assessments of what she has and what I know of that she pays for. Thus within this abusive energy as 'hate' that I 'feel' towards another being, I realize that I use the thoughts of assumptions I have created and base my living with this person on to use it against her and creating war as hate to get what I want achieved. This only furthering the hell that is here as this world, as this is the hell that is existing within me, fighting and conflicting with myself because I desire something that is impossible to have because I am missing myself within it, I am missing me. These energies being fueled by anger from the thoughts that I am not getting what I want, which is the money and thus go into superiority to thus diminish her and force her to give me what I want, the money = the energy.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into superiority towards the other in an attempt to put fear in the other so I have an easier time getting what I want.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the other due to trying to be more powerful and get an ego boost from winning through my force.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to try and dominate another through my desire to be seen as the best and most powerful, and thus use anger and hate as a fuel to create the energy needed to be more powerful all the while abusing the other and diminishing myself as an abuser to life = myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as thoughts of separation towards another being be more powerful and force them to give me what I want, energy = money.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give more value to money and my desires then giving her the freedom to give me the money when she has it instead of going into ego as anger and hate and create a build up of energy through participating in the back chat that she is selfish and doesn't consider anyone else but herself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the other and define myself within and as energy as rage to then go into a point of hate as back chat thoughts of diminishment towards the other and live this out by speaking loudly and trying to diminish the other through my spoken words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into energy as rage and thus speak in a loud voice to try and diminish the other through fear so I can get what I want out of the situation even to the suffering of another that I have caused deliberately.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to deliberately cause suffering and pain to another based on holding onto this point of ego as desires to get what I want and thus when I don't, no matter what the case my be, I go into blame towards the other and desire to get revenge on them.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into revenge where I am deliberately trying to cause the abuse to the other in an attempt to release this now accumulated energy of built up frustration and anger that I have created through the back chat of assumptions and thoughts that she is to blame, and thus cause deliberate abuse to myself as her and separate and diminish myself as I am the other that I am abusing.

I forgive myself that I haven't yet accepted and allowed myself to live among all here within stopping desires and giving to others as I would want to receive, and thus within this I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to give to another without the desire to receive something in return and thus when I do not get my due I go into anger and rage because I fear that I have lost something.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear lose when I realize and understand all that is here is me and thus I can never be lost as I am here one and equal with all, only fear as lost can exist in the mind as a made up illusion I am allowing to direct me as I believe it to be real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within a world where one have to fear the lose of something as I have created a separation among myself where I have separated myself with myself and thus have veiled myself to myself through this illusion that I can be lost not realizing in this that I have always been right here, in the flesh as the physical as breath as all as one as equal, and in essence as life can never be lost, it's not real it's all in my mind being created through energy as feelings, thoughts, and emotions.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within a point of mind as energy through defining myself by feelings, emotions, thoughts, and thus reacting to others in separation by following these points as if they are who I am and thus miss myself here within the other and abuse life in this process and thus abuse myself as life into self diminishment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place money and material things within a possession point of ownership where I desire to keep a hold of all my things and keep note of what is owed as I desire to have what is mine here and given back if I share it to another.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to give the gift of life here unconditionally and realize those who do not give are here as me and thus require examples to see what this entail and what this brings about as the giving up self as all to all here within equality instead of conflict is true freedom and true self expression as you are giving to your self the freedom of life to live and be here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not give myself unconditionally to all in the realization that when I give all to all here equally I will receive equal and one this giving as the equality of all in the oneness of ourselves as life is all encompassing and thus I will want for nothing because all will be here as me to enjoy.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be blinded by rage in deliberate knowledge of what I was creating as abuse but based on the release of energy that was now built up due to the anger and rage feeling I created through the hate that I experienced towards the other and thus accumulated the consequence of separation which little by little diminishes me as a being of life to the mind as energy where eventually I will cease to exist as the mind as me will end.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give my power away to the mind based on accepting and allowing to exist within the polarity of love/hate and thus create myself from these energy outflows as anger and rage, and happiness and excitement, which are not real as they don't last and thus only create the cycles of the up and down polarity poles that this will create in my world and I see as I participate in it with the unsettledness and abuse I create when I exist and continue to direct myself from this starting point with others as mind as relationships of energy attachments rather then standing here within and as life in equality finding solutions and considering the other as myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to engage in the emotions of anger and rage and the experience of hate that I am allowing to direct me towards others in my world as my desires weren't met and thus creating the selfishness within and as myself that I am projecting onto the other based on greed and impatiences.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be directed by desires as greed and impatiences to thus separate myself from others in what is here as what is physically practical fact within the matter that is real as physical and thus direct myself in decency with the other to consider their situation and their circumstance and come to solutions that is able to be lived and agreed by both to thus get the money issue resolved and have their be a solution that is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow the mind as ego as energy addictions to direct me into abusing others for my own self interest pleasure of releasing energy and gaining energy through the relationship connections that are built and thus participated in to attain what I want and thus feed off these relationships in both negative and positive poles to gain my energy as my self interest so I can be happy again and get my needs met.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to live within energy relationships as mind illusions within my world where I abuse life and separate myself here form physical substance as who I am and as who all are here in the perfection of life as breath in the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abuse life due to greed as ego.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abuse life due to rage and anger as emotions and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as emotions in separation to life here as me in equality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself into the illusion as mind creation of polarity poles of negative/positive as I realize and see I am both the negative and positive and thus must and will walk to equalize myself with what is real and stable, the physical as life which is and always has been one and equal with me.

When and as this point of anger as rage comes up and I go into blame as a hate for another being, I stop, breath, and continue breathing to re-align myself with my physical body by going to another location and stopping the participation with what ever I am doing completely. I breath through all reactions as energy movements to go back for more, and simply let go of the point of participation in the drive to gain and release energy onto others. I realize and see that it is abusing life and thus abusing me, I stop abusing life as I would not like to be abused myself.

I commit to stand and stop all points of energy addiction as thoughts, emotions, and feelings as mind as I see them come up until they are stopped and I am here stable within and as the physical as breath.

I commit to walk within and as myself to let go of all separation within the polarity play outs I currently exist as til I remain here and am not moved by anything, only my own self direction.

I commit to live here among all life when and as I have come to stability within my direction as myself in finding solutions to what is here as separation and faulty living by standing as an example as I walk myself to life and thus help and show others the way to walk as themselves to life through and as the self honest living here as me.

I commit to stop my ego and stand here among life in humbleness and gentleness as caring and sharing for the other as this is for me too.



hate, rage against the machine, raging, rage, spiteful, i hate you, self hatred, abuse to others, fighting, conflict, debt, love/hate, relationships, equality, equal life, equal money, desteni eqafe, 2012

Day 6 - I am an Anger De-Man

I exert my anger where I find that I am believing that I am more then another or where I blame and see myself as a victim, both I see are not real as they are abdicating my self responsibility to life as I am the creator of who I am and how I experience myself, thus I stop this through self forgiveness, and walking the change to stand equal with life in a way that is best for all.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within anger in my world towards any point that comes up in the statement that I see another at fault and thus am reacting in blame and creating unnecessary abuse as I exert my anger onto another. I see and realize that anger is but a manifestation outflow of not taking responsibility for myself and seeing self as a victim, I am here though and see that I am the cause of all that is here as me, and thus I walk the correction of stopping this anger from directing me through slowing myself down and seeing that I am the source, core, origin of why I am behaving in such a way as anger towards another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to go into a point of victimization towards my world and what has occurred with others and thus go into blame and energize my back chat of thoughts that I am the victim, I am the one who gets the short end of the stick, and I should not be treated this way it's not fair. Within this backchat I allow it to accumulate to such a degree where eventually I will go into an energy outburst towards others as anger and ruin any trust or equality built by accepting myself to demonize and diminish others thru exerting my force over them through shouting and calling them names. I realize and see within this that I am the cause, source, and origin of this deliberate abuse towards another by not controlling my emotions and existing in spite and blame towards another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within spite and blame towards another being because I don't want to give up this energy as anger based on the sensation I get when I exert it and it releases the built up of frustration and irritation I have within myself, this feeling of release I have become addicted to and exhilarated by as it gives me a form of a high when I unleash it on others, allowing me for that moment to gain a release and feel 'good'. But I realize and see within this feeling of 'good' it will always come down to the reality of what I have done and created within my mania of anger towards others, which is regret and the living out of 'what have I done'. I see and understand that I am the cause of this and that I need to stop the accumulation of emotions and blame to not get to a point where I unleash and exert anger onto undeserving beings, I am the source thus I must stop this within myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be addicted to the energy accumulation and release of anger and in moments enjoy releasing it onto others as I feel within this moment more powerful and in control as a sense of dominance over another, and within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to separate myself into the belief that power and control is through dominating another and causing them to 'pay' for what I see is their fault. Within this point of 'payback' I see and realize this is a complete abdication to my own self creation of allowing this pattern to continue as I continue to participate in thoughts of 'I hate this person' 'this person is such an asshole, look how they just cut me off' 'aw will she just get the fuck into reality, and stop taking shit' and accepting these thoughts to direct me to separate me from the being where I have the false pretense that I am more deserving or more then this being because I have created these thoughts within myself as justification for the abuse and anger I exert on to them as accepting these thoughts as valid and true.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the thoughts 'I hate this person' to direct me in moments where I have the ability to stand up within myself stop the separation within  self interest, and walk one and equal within the persons shoes to get to know who they are, where they come from, and why they have created themselves in such a way to thus give myself understanding and assistance to stand with in finding solutions rather then going into ego and creating abuse within personality play outs of I am better then her/him.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the thought 'this person is such an asshole, look at them just cut me off' as I see I am only going into ego to see myself exalted as the righteous one to thus see myself more then another to gain acceptance for myself within myself as myself within the polarity of inferior/superior as competition in my world. Within this I see and realize that this justification of being better towards another due to the fact that I am existing in competition so I can be the winner is unacceptable as it causes separation and harm, this is unacceptable due to it be a self indulgence to go the easy way out and not have to face myself as the creator of this experience, I am the one reacting and allowing anger and competition with another when I see I can simply let them go, stop, and direct in a way of self responsibility to a solution best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the thought 'aw will she just get the fuck into reality, and stop talking shit' this again I see and realize is a point of exalting my ego so I can be seen as more then another being, and thus going into self righteousness where I believe I can call her out or inflict some sort of harshness onto her as I believe that she is just 'talking shit'. Where instead I realize I could stand one and equal with the other in an attempt to come to some common ground and see where she is coming from based on her whole perpective on things, where there is more understanding who she is as a being, and then from there direct myself within given perspective of my own, within common sense and working towards solutions rather then causing conflict.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exalt my ego in attempts of trying to be more then others and thus within this exhalation of my ego from and sourced within the thoughts i have created of being self righteous, instead of fully understanding and standing equal to that being, I am only creating conflict within my world and diminishing myself as I am being an abuser and causing harm to the life here that where I see I am harming me. I will always get what I create, thus I am the creator of  myself, I am responsible for my creation. I see and realize that the ego as self righteousness is just me not accepting myself and the anger is me accepting and allowing dishonesty to grow as I go into abuse rather then in self honest introspection to stand equal and find solutions to what is showing within my world as resistances.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Self Correction:

When and as I go into this point of thinking about others in ways that are self righteous and diminishing them, I stop and say 'No' breath through the thoughts as I stop giving them energy, and thus I see that the accumulation of anger will diminish as I am no longer fueling with thoughts and emotions. When I see and realize that anger is accumulated, I stop and breath, and apply self forgiveness for this accumulation point, seeing and realizing that the being I am taking out my anger on or am directing it towards is me, and thus I stop abusing me as life.

I commit to stand within thoughts of accumulation and energy build up by disengaging them through stopping the participation with this back chat of blame and victimization, and remain here thru letting the energy go through breathing.

I commit myself to walk with beings as we walk our processes to become stable here, sharing myself in humbleness of what I have walked to give assistance if I see the need, and create the best way for all to stop conflict and stop anger by pushing and walking this stopping within myself.


anger, demonize, anger demon, human hell, i am a victim, self righteous, abuse, self abuse, hate, responsibility, stop anger, living solutions, peace, journey to life, 2012, process, desteni