"Spoiled Child" Character and Solution - Day 506

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I am starting a business series and facing points that come up when I am in business settings and relationships.

First point I am going to write on is the fear of failing as the first fear that comes up and triggers when I see, realize, and understand that a point in my life is not working or something happened that is challenging. The fear moves through my whole body and becomes like a fire that is raging through me and I need some sort of outlet to release it or it feels like I may explode. This sort of like a spoiled child who doesn't yet know how to deal with the environment stimulus they are experiencing and the relationships within that environment, they scream and yell and become destructive, not a good scene all around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear when I hear that something in the business is going bad or is creating a challenge to be faced in real time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go to the worst case scenario without seeing, realizing, or considering the outflows and solutions that can be created even in the worst of cases as I see, realize, and understand there is always solutions if one stay motivated, driven, and creative to find them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in this fear and accept and allow the thoughts to move through me that the business is going to lose money or we are going to lose customers or we are not going to be able to stay in business, and fear the livelihood and survival of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the survival of myself within my mind through fear being triggered instead of taking a breath, a step back, slowing down, and realizing that there is a grounding needed by myself to see the situation clearly and get all the facts to then be able to create a solution or support with this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush into assumptions about what the facts are and listen to my mind telling me what the facts are before I have even taken a breath and looked and considered the whole situation or occurrence before making any decision or movement on the matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for what has occurred based on thoughts going on in my mind in reaction to the initial thoughts of the business going down, and thus blame them through my words and actions of calling them out and chastising them for events that are not related and thus are not necessarily any fault of theirs. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become like a spoiled child who should be listened too and considered and able to just release all my emotions so I am feeling clear and better, not considering or taking responsibility for the outflows my actions and behaviors have on others in my environment and how I am creating more of a destructive environment rather then a supportive expansive one. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to news in energy and emotion rather then breathing, slowing down, and assessing the information in a calm manner that is supportive for the problem, the solution, the people involved, and for my own self responsibility to become a leader in what is best for all rather then a dictator who is tyrannical and nasty.

When and as I see I am going into this rush of fear when I move from a shock experience of something happening in my environment, I stop and breath and realize that at this time I need to take a step back, ground myself in my body through breath, slow down, look and understand all the facts involved, and assess what changes/solutions are needed to correct the point and make changes that will support what is best for all.

I commit myself to live the word slow down and breath when the shock comes of an event that is challenging and/or difficult in my life.

I commit myself to fact find before I take any course of action within the matter.

I commit myself to stand as a support and example for others to understand the mistake made and find solutions to correct the mistake and circumvent it happening again.

I commit myself to use common sense in business matters and do what is best for all within my dealings with business matters, business relationships, and business solutions.

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Day 59 - Valuing Money Equal to Life

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to value money over life. I realize and see that money within what it is, is paper, and thus is equal in value of all that is here and thus hold a purpose to express within equal consideration to what is here as an equal partner to create a world best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to make money my life as I use it and desire it for keep going with my very existence seeing that I need this above all else to be able to continue to live and be here in this world. I realize and see that this desire and need to survive is not what is best for all and cause much hardship and pain to many, I realize and see that  a system of money movement can be put in place where money is equal in value to life and thus will be a support to walk what is best for all as it will be equal and one with the beings living among it not have more power and consideration then life itself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to have money in place at all times so I am satisfied and in no stress for money and thus live and accept this money system as is where I am using it for my own self interest to stay comfortable instead of using it at all times to support a way and a will to walk the process into creating a world that is best for all. I realize and see that to create a new system where all life is supported I will need to give up everything to see this through as a want or desire is separation and thus will only create a money system of want and desire and cause divide and dominance.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give money more value then life itself where I allow and accept a system that consume to death many living beings without a consideration or a blink of an eye of the life that is being destroyed in the taking of the product that is being ready to  to be sold for profit. I realize and see to stop this atrocity to life, money and the money system needs to be spread equal among all and available to all where it do not define who live or die, but is used as a medium to facilitate a new world that is best for all and support the best way of living for all in all ways possible.

I commit myself to help facilitate this new equal money system set in place by changing myself to be a being that live by these principles of equality and oneness to all life and thus bring about the solution that will end the strife to live and an end to suffering, and create a world that is best for all by creating this within and as myself only walking what is best for life equal and one to myself.

I commit to walk myself in writing in self investigation, self forgiveness, and self honesty to facilitate the change that is necessary to bring about this self change to stand equal to others and direct myself within equality in all ways, letting go of wants, desires, and the need to survive through money.

I commit myself to bring about a world best for all by walking step by step the implementation of the equal money system by sharing my realizations, understandings, and educating all who will hear to share the understanding that equality with and through all life is the only way to true peace and prosperity for all life that live as lived is to be valued and honored equal to and one with how I would want this done for myself.



money troubles, equal money system, equal life foundation, equal life, economic system, debt, survival, fear, war, death, starvation, solutions, desteni, 2012, journey to life

Day 29- I Hate You

Looking at the point of rage and this energy I exist within towards others in my world as hate, and what within myself I am accepting and allowing to not actually face within me and my living, but blaming and thus projecting into another is what I will be walking in this blog. Hate is the opposite of love and thus it's a cyclical polarity cycle that is existing within me that I see I participate in based on my self interest and not getting what I want.

I am owed money from someone and she is stalling to not have to give it to me by saying she does not have it, here, within myself I go into assumptions and thoughts of diminishment towards her based on my knowledge and past assessments of what she has and what I know of that she pays for. Thus within this abusive energy as 'hate' that I 'feel' towards another being, I realize that I use the thoughts of assumptions I have created and base my living with this person on to use it against her and creating war as hate to get what I want achieved. This only furthering the hell that is here as this world, as this is the hell that is existing within me, fighting and conflicting with myself because I desire something that is impossible to have because I am missing myself within it, I am missing me. These energies being fueled by anger from the thoughts that I am not getting what I want, which is the money and thus go into superiority to thus diminish her and force her to give me what I want, the money = the energy.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into superiority towards the other in an attempt to put fear in the other so I have an easier time getting what I want.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the other due to trying to be more powerful and get an ego boost from winning through my force.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to try and dominate another through my desire to be seen as the best and most powerful, and thus use anger and hate as a fuel to create the energy needed to be more powerful all the while abusing the other and diminishing myself as an abuser to life = myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as thoughts of separation towards another being be more powerful and force them to give me what I want, energy = money.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give more value to money and my desires then giving her the freedom to give me the money when she has it instead of going into ego as anger and hate and create a build up of energy through participating in the back chat that she is selfish and doesn't consider anyone else but herself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the other and define myself within and as energy as rage to then go into a point of hate as back chat thoughts of diminishment towards the other and live this out by speaking loudly and trying to diminish the other through my spoken words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into energy as rage and thus speak in a loud voice to try and diminish the other through fear so I can get what I want out of the situation even to the suffering of another that I have caused deliberately.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to deliberately cause suffering and pain to another based on holding onto this point of ego as desires to get what I want and thus when I don't, no matter what the case my be, I go into blame towards the other and desire to get revenge on them.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into revenge where I am deliberately trying to cause the abuse to the other in an attempt to release this now accumulated energy of built up frustration and anger that I have created through the back chat of assumptions and thoughts that she is to blame, and thus cause deliberate abuse to myself as her and separate and diminish myself as I am the other that I am abusing.

I forgive myself that I haven't yet accepted and allowed myself to live among all here within stopping desires and giving to others as I would want to receive, and thus within this I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to give to another without the desire to receive something in return and thus when I do not get my due I go into anger and rage because I fear that I have lost something.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear lose when I realize and understand all that is here is me and thus I can never be lost as I am here one and equal with all, only fear as lost can exist in the mind as a made up illusion I am allowing to direct me as I believe it to be real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within a world where one have to fear the lose of something as I have created a separation among myself where I have separated myself with myself and thus have veiled myself to myself through this illusion that I can be lost not realizing in this that I have always been right here, in the flesh as the physical as breath as all as one as equal, and in essence as life can never be lost, it's not real it's all in my mind being created through energy as feelings, thoughts, and emotions.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within a point of mind as energy through defining myself by feelings, emotions, thoughts, and thus reacting to others in separation by following these points as if they are who I am and thus miss myself here within the other and abuse life in this process and thus abuse myself as life into self diminishment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place money and material things within a possession point of ownership where I desire to keep a hold of all my things and keep note of what is owed as I desire to have what is mine here and given back if I share it to another.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to give the gift of life here unconditionally and realize those who do not give are here as me and thus require examples to see what this entail and what this brings about as the giving up self as all to all here within equality instead of conflict is true freedom and true self expression as you are giving to your self the freedom of life to live and be here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not give myself unconditionally to all in the realization that when I give all to all here equally I will receive equal and one this giving as the equality of all in the oneness of ourselves as life is all encompassing and thus I will want for nothing because all will be here as me to enjoy.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be blinded by rage in deliberate knowledge of what I was creating as abuse but based on the release of energy that was now built up due to the anger and rage feeling I created through the hate that I experienced towards the other and thus accumulated the consequence of separation which little by little diminishes me as a being of life to the mind as energy where eventually I will cease to exist as the mind as me will end.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give my power away to the mind based on accepting and allowing to exist within the polarity of love/hate and thus create myself from these energy outflows as anger and rage, and happiness and excitement, which are not real as they don't last and thus only create the cycles of the up and down polarity poles that this will create in my world and I see as I participate in it with the unsettledness and abuse I create when I exist and continue to direct myself from this starting point with others as mind as relationships of energy attachments rather then standing here within and as life in equality finding solutions and considering the other as myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to engage in the emotions of anger and rage and the experience of hate that I am allowing to direct me towards others in my world as my desires weren't met and thus creating the selfishness within and as myself that I am projecting onto the other based on greed and impatiences.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be directed by desires as greed and impatiences to thus separate myself from others in what is here as what is physically practical fact within the matter that is real as physical and thus direct myself in decency with the other to consider their situation and their circumstance and come to solutions that is able to be lived and agreed by both to thus get the money issue resolved and have their be a solution that is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow the mind as ego as energy addictions to direct me into abusing others for my own self interest pleasure of releasing energy and gaining energy through the relationship connections that are built and thus participated in to attain what I want and thus feed off these relationships in both negative and positive poles to gain my energy as my self interest so I can be happy again and get my needs met.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to live within energy relationships as mind illusions within my world where I abuse life and separate myself here form physical substance as who I am and as who all are here in the perfection of life as breath in the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abuse life due to greed as ego.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abuse life due to rage and anger as emotions and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as emotions in separation to life here as me in equality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself into the illusion as mind creation of polarity poles of negative/positive as I realize and see I am both the negative and positive and thus must and will walk to equalize myself with what is real and stable, the physical as life which is and always has been one and equal with me.

When and as this point of anger as rage comes up and I go into blame as a hate for another being, I stop, breath, and continue breathing to re-align myself with my physical body by going to another location and stopping the participation with what ever I am doing completely. I breath through all reactions as energy movements to go back for more, and simply let go of the point of participation in the drive to gain and release energy onto others. I realize and see that it is abusing life and thus abusing me, I stop abusing life as I would not like to be abused myself.

I commit to stand and stop all points of energy addiction as thoughts, emotions, and feelings as mind as I see them come up until they are stopped and I am here stable within and as the physical as breath.

I commit to walk within and as myself to let go of all separation within the polarity play outs I currently exist as til I remain here and am not moved by anything, only my own self direction.

I commit to live here among all life when and as I have come to stability within my direction as myself in finding solutions to what is here as separation and faulty living by standing as an example as I walk myself to life and thus help and show others the way to walk as themselves to life through and as the self honest living here as me.

I commit to stop my ego and stand here among life in humbleness and gentleness as caring and sharing for the other as this is for me too.



hate, rage against the machine, raging, rage, spiteful, i hate you, self hatred, abuse to others, fighting, conflict, debt, love/hate, relationships, equality, equal life, equal money, desteni eqafe, 2012