My Journey to Life

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Opening Up Inferiority in the Mind – Knowing When to Stay or Go – Part 3 – Day 372

Visit more cool art here: Desteni Artists

Follow this series:

Opening Up Inferiority in the Mind – Part 1 – Day 370
Opening Up Inferiority in the Mind – What does it mean in the Mind to be Embarrassed? – Part 2- Day 371

So a point opened up yesterday regarding a party I got invited to and based on being sick, I could not go, but the struggle was within myself of should I go or should I stay home. Some points that come up of why I would do one over the other is based on a point of fearing either the situation I am about to go to so I would not go in an attempt of avoiding facing the situation or a point where I would push myself to go when in reality I did not need to go such as being sick, and so being comfortable with staying home. I see within both scenarios there is the starting point of inferiority through not looking at reality for what it is and holding judgments about myself that I have projected on the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing others in reality based on a judgment I have made about myself that I will be inadequate and make myself lesser appealing then I was to them before I came to the party.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing others due to a judgment I hold that I am being seen by others as a lesser person due to my interruptation over the years of how people associated themselves with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted adna llowed myself to fear people seeing me in a bad way or not being liked.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as inferior to others who I assess as better in look or skill or intelligence and so fear facing these people in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing people in reality based on an assessment that I am less then them.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that reality is not based upon the imprint of what I am thinking in a moment to moment basis, but it is based on the actuality of the reality as truth of what is being lived and so aligning with this and assessing reality directly to so be able to live and direct in my ultimate expression as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain the mind within fear and accept my mind to direct me in reality based on pictures, imaginations, beliefs, and ideas of what others ‘might’ be thinking about me or even if they are that I accept and allow that to effect and direct me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my mind personal and project it onto others to not face the mind and change myself in relationship to it because I fear it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my mind and facing who I am as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to change and face all that will come with that in reality.

When and as I see I am going into fearing facing reality and the mind as myself, I stop and breath, and realize that I must walk in such a way to realize who I have become and so change myself to live in a different way that is aligned with the physical and common sense through my own physical process of actually living it, testing it, and finding the solution.

I commit myself to stop fearing my reality as my mind.

I commit to face the process of the mind as myself in my self will and action daily as I walk the journey to life.

I commit to support myself to change, stand up within myself when I fall, and change myself in the patterns that don’t support life to the patterns of living that due support life and do what is best for all.

I commit to stop projecting myself onto others as fears, note them, walk them in writing and move to the correction in my living.

Eqafe Interview Support that I Recommend:

Insecurity: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 148
Insecurity: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 149
Insecurity: Insecurity-Confidence Polarity - Atlanteans - Part 150
Confidence: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 151
Confidence: Practical Support - Atlanteans - Part 152
Confidence: The End - Atlanteans - Part 153

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Saturday, January 4, 2014

Opening Up Inferiority in the Mind – What does it mean in the Mind tobe Embarrassed? – Part 2- Day 371

Visit more cool art here: Desteni Artists
Featured Artist: Andrew Gable

Follow this series:

Opening Up Inferiority in the Mind – Part 1 – Day 370

Being embarrassed I find is a reaction that is activated due to a starting point within myself of feeling inferior to the people/person I am interacting with that witnessed or was part of the point of me reacting in embarrassment within myself. So embarrassment is an outflow of a construct within my mind of existing within desires of being superior to others and so within this desire create the balancing out effect, which is becoming inferior. If I pursue superiority and the belief of myself that I am this, inferiority will also be created as a belief, neither are true in fact, but I certainly can create it to be real and thus true for me. Hence the way I am experincing myself at the moment, split and in conflict with reality and myself.

So with an embarrassing moment I had, there are already existing beliefs that I am trying to live up to or create in my reality based on them being created in my mind, so for example, a belief that I must never slip on ice and if I slip on ice especially in front of others, I will be seen as an idiot and so become embarrassed. This happen today and this is the thought I had, ‘of course, the mailman had to see that’, and so what creates this point of reaction to something that happen in reality that I had no control to stop in the moment, is the belief that I am inferior to others if I am not at all times living as my mind desires myself to live in - picture perfection. That's not real though and so the conflict in life and fighting this experience of embarrassment is being created, which is counterproductive and creating abuse within and as my physical body as stress and without in the world that I am separating myself from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a starting point in my world of desiring to be able to survive, to be better, to win, to get money, to stay stable, and so create the balancing point of inferiority to exist within me as I see, realize, and understand that when you create an imbalance within living such as desiring one and avoiding another living reality, you will create what you resist because of the mere fact that you are trying to avoid it and it in fact being a part of you to be faced and corrected thus it's impossible to avoid it because its a part of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I am trying to avoid myself and not have to face the points within myself that I see as inferior and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for these points within myself that I desire to abdicate to the chance of living in polarity and so create an endless cycle of abuse towards myself and others through projecting reactions such as embarrassment onto others when all the while I see, realize, and understand it’s a point of anger within myself that I am not accepting myself and changing myself to embrace all of who I am here in this reality, change that which is not best for all, and walk through all the points needed to ensure this change in what is best for all is lived into reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate myself from the responsibility within who I am here as a being of life to correct my relationship to myself and to this world within separation that I have been living as inferior/superior and live what in fact is real and will then create the physical alignment that is required to start moving myself as well as all the life that is here that I will effect/touch in my living to move to the alignment of life as oneness and equality to balance this world into equilibrium and stop the way of life that is destroying who we are here as seperation of Self as Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist and embrace energy as the mind to direct me and give me instant satisfaction where I don’t have to move in fact in the physical to create self change, but can live in the mind in illusion and be ignorant in bliss to the fact that I am not considering life and how I am effecting it and still 'feeling' something, and so in this relationship of ignorance, abusing and destroying life in many ways that I would not in anyway want for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse life and destroy life by allowing ignorance as bliss to overcome me and follow it completely where I don’t push myself to move beyond the mind in the energies of reaction but stay in it and participate in it and so continue to abuse others as I have in my reality and not change in self interest of having my 'own' experience.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to move beyond the reactions, energies, and beliefs of the mind and move into physical living completely as breath by breath decisions to ensure I am in self awareness and moving according to common sense and consideration of the environment I am in one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be consumed with inferiority due to not accepting myself as is, and so I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to align to the physical body and live in the physical, breathing, changing my living in self honesty and self forgiveness, and walking the path of life here out of the illusion of polarity, this where I am whole and complete and able to direct myself in self determination and self creation.

When and as I see I am going into survival and going into the polarity of desiring the superior stances in my world such as beauty attention, status, praise, prestige, reward, pleasure as my experience, I stop and breath, and realize that I am separating myself from reality and so will create separation in my world such as inferiority and embarrassment with the outflow consequence being abuse to others and myself. I realize these outflows of separation are not in fact real livinv as who we really are as life beings in awareness, but it’s the mind working as it does in it’s design creating energy to control self and so to have complete control of the physical reality.

I commit myself to move beyond the polarity of superior/inferior and direct myself in the moment in alignment with the physical necessary step to take, take a breath and assess the physical, and move within the assessment made in consideration of the physical environment I am in equal and one, and live.

I commit myself to let go of anger and the outflow of embarrassment within myself and towards my world.

I commit to embrace myself and accept myself in moments where I see I want to go into judgment, I breath, and bring myself back to the physical as who I am as life and step beyond the moment to a new moment that is here, fresh and stable.

I commit to let go of the past and walk breath by breath in each moment new here.

Eqafe Interview Support that I Recommend:

Equal Money System - Site

Friday, January 3, 2014

Opening Up Inferiority in the Mind – Part 1 – Day 370

Inferiority for me I would say I have allowed my mind to run rampant with all the ideas, beliefs, imaginations, and thoughts that come up about this fear of rejection specifically, like being rejected from society, from others, from family, from friends, from peers is the worst thing to happen. I mean in reality it is not so much, it can and is a tough point to walk through, but it’s something that can be faced and walked practically in reality for solutions. In the mind though man it can feel like climbing up a mountain with your eyes closed. So here I will start the process of walking self forgiveness on the points within inferiority that I have not walked yet and bringing them through to self correction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to have inherently something wrong with me where I believe myself to not have the capabilities and potential of other human beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit and compromise myself expression due to a belief that I am inherently flawed and that I don’t have the equal oppurtinity that all have here to become the greatest potential I can be, when I realize, see, and understand the only one that is limiting me from reaching this expression is me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am inherently flawed due to holding onto memories of not matching up to other kids in school where either I didn’t preform as they did in test and I was always just average in studies and where I would not see myself in appearance as the other kids and so see myself as lacking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am based on past beliefs and definitions that I am not smart due to the lack of effort and motivation I had for school in general and the lack of realizing I can move beyond my beliefs about myself and preform as best I can in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as stupid based on being called stupid and retard growing up from kids and sisters and so within myself started to see myself as not as smart as other people based on this name calling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take being name called as a kid personal as if these kids where defining who I was not realizing that kids are also going through the same as me and are trying to survive and so become nasty within themselves as I would withn myself when I felt threatened or was trying to compete to get ahead.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a point of survival within my living based on competition and created conditions that cause inequality and polarity of superior/inferior to manifest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reject any part of my reality in not seeing, realizing, and understanding that that part of reality I am rejecting is a part of me and so I am rejecting myself and the opprtinity to create unity within who I am with all that I am here as all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself due to fear and create a point of limitation due to the belief that I am less then the fear that I have created of others rejecting me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear to have power over me and who I am in my physical living as I realize fear is just energy and can be stopped within a decision and a living movement by myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be accepted and find happiness when in reality it can’t be found somewhere outside myself as that is just separating me from the solution that I can live and so take responsibility for my own happiness which is the happiness eventually for all as we are all equals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up my self empowerment through the mind as desires and fears, and so I realize that I must stop existing within these two dynamics in the mind, and move myself to the physical in breath and walk self responsibility in real time to create myself into the person I see I can be.

When and as I see I am going into any point of inferiority toward myself reality, I stop and breath, and realize that this is just a point I have given my power away to my mind in a fear that is not real and can be transcend through a decision and a self movement.

I commit myself to when I see I am going into thoughts of inferioirty or fears towards my world, I let go of these mind points, and walk the push through the point I am fearing or feel inferior to.

I commit myself to continue to open up the points that I see I am being influenced by in my reality in more specificity to so create my self in each moment.

I commit to accept others as myself and realize that in face I am one and equal with all here as I would want for myself being treated the way I should be treating others.

I commit to accept myself and let go of the pictures in my mind of judgment.

I commit myself to let go of the past in live here in each moment as breath by breath living.

Eqafe Interview Support that I Recommend:

Equal Money System - Site

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Confidence in the Mind when Alone – Part 7.3 – Day 369

Featured Artist: Marlen Vargas Del Razo

Visit more cool art here: Desteni Artists

This is a Series, here are the others for reference:

My Experience Before and After Beginning Process with Animals and Nature – Part 1- Day 361

Horses and People– Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature Part 2 – Day 362

Horses and People – Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature – Part 3 - Day 363

Opening Up Confidence In the Mind – Before/After Starting to Walk Process – Part 4 – Day 364

My Experience with Confidence In Appearance - Part 5 - Day 365

Opening Up Confidence within the Mind – Money – Part 6 – Day 366

Confidence in the Mind – In a Group/Alone – Part 7.1 – Day 367
Confidence in Group Dynamics – Part 7.2 – Day 368

Just a point to put into the physical as words and that is that I will be writing everyday for the next year as I realize that it just takes a decision and actually living it, so I have it here, and will live it into life so I can trust my wordswithin myself as I have in fact lived them, build my self discipline, and push self movement to a point of naturalexpression for myself, building a solid foundation within who I am to live from. Thanks for reading and the support.

Today I will write on the point of having the experience of confidence within a situation where I am not in a group, but alone within my own doing. This comes up at times when I have done something where I have received some recognition, and this something was done within my own will and action. Through receiving praise for the actions I preformed well, I gain a point of confidence and arrogance over others in a form of seeing that I am more valued and so more worthy in the eyes of those who praised me based on ‘my’ work and those who have received no praise they then are below me. I see that I do not create a point of equality within the environment I am in, where each have there own skills and expressions, but I move often within competition and seeing where it is that I can gain over others and get ahead.

I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to when I do a project or work on my own, within my mind I have backchat desires to be recognized as the best and the most accomplished based on my desire to make the most money and gain the most prestige.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am based on how much I make rather then ensuring that who I am is based on principles I can live with into eternity and so within this walk the practical common sense steps to ensure my physical living conditions are functioning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire prestige with others and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on others view of me rather then defining myself in each moment that I am here based on the living of myself in reality, how I contribute to life in the greater as well as within self, and am I worthy of life in the way that I exist in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry and annoyed at others around me when I see that they are not working in the same pace as myself, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become reactive and harsh toward these people when I have allowed the energy to accumulate to such an extent that eventually I go into conflict with them and say things that are harmful and abusive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in my mind in backchat of how others are not doing a good job, and they are slacking, and they are making more money then me, and I should be getting the mostmoney because I am the best here, and so create an illusion of entitlement within myself based on thoughts that are not physical based but only catering to my self interest to be seen and gain feelings of excitement and happinesswhen I am recognized and also competing to become the highest paid due to a belief that I deserve it over others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself within my own mind believe myself to be the best and deserve the highest pay due to the belief that alone I am excelling over others, but in reality, I don’t know how others work in terms of their capabilities and their production, I am not in there shoes and so I should not and can not judge others for this as I would not want to be judge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within my mind in a desire to be the top paid and be the best in my existence alone in my thoughts, when in reality, I am not alone, I am with groups of people interacting on many different levels and many different connections, and so I am not anymore or any less then others, but have to walk a functional way in reality to ensure all are equally consider and so all are equally able to live in the expression they are in self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in my own world within myself and so build this experience of confidence based on the beliefs that I am so much better then others when in reality I am scared to face myself, face others, and be shown that in fact I am not the best, and so I realize that this is showing that I am in fact only existing as a point of ego desiring my own satisfaction in my mind where it gives me stimulation as energy and disregard the reality of the physical where I am effecting and influencing others in a harmful way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a way of ego where I only consider myself and only desire my own satisfaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to stay in my own world so I am not challenged and can continue to pretend I am the best when in reality this is not in fact the case as I abuse others in self interest.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that being best within this physical world is living within a point of self direction where I move myself in a point of support and assistance of doing what is best for all as I realize that will equally always do what is best for me, anything else is self interest and so abuse will in fact be created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse others due to my desire to be the best and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gain a false sense of confidence within the belief that I am the best when in fact none of this was real because it did not stand in the physical based on the conflict and abuse I have given others within reaction rather then self movement in support in what is best in self trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself in reality and so I stay stimulated within my own mind world in beliefs and ideas and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to separate myself from reality and abuse others due to my desires of self interest where I can hide and escape alone in my own mind world.

When and as I see I am going into a point of existing in my mind world and walking alone in my world creating beliefs and ideas about myself in relation to reality, I stop and breath, and realize that this in fact is not real because I am not walking in the physical with how I am existing within my mind and so it will in the end cause abuse and harm as I have already seen happens within my world in many instances because I am not taking physical reality into consideration and all others into consideration as how I would in fact want to be consider as an equal.

I commit myself to stop the mind reality of beliefs that I am better then others and deserve more then others.

I commit myself to walk the physical steps that are here to be walked to ensure I create the outcomes I have as my goals and not debate it in my mind as this is where I will manipulate myself to gain stimulation as good feelings and so abuse will occur.

I commit myself to move in physical reality by breathing and moving myself when I see I am going into reaction and do what it takes to stop the reactions through the tools shared at desteni.

I commit myself to support others as myself as equals when I have proven I am here and can direct myself into a physical stability and common sense solution, and so have stopped the abuse within a polarity of being more or less.

I commit to build self confidence through actually living the actions to the outcome I have set for myself and stop thinking and reacting to it in my mind through escaping into a mind reality of energy stimulation which is not real and cause abuse to occur due to self interest only being considered.

I commit myself to let go of self interest desire and walk as others in there shoes, and support life as how I would like to be supported in moments where I see I want to react and go into self interest, I stop, breath, and move into support as an equal.

Eqafe Interview Support that I Recommend:

Equal Money System - Site

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Confidence in Group Dynamics – Part 7.2 – Day 368

Visit more cool art here: Desteni Artists

This is a Series, here are the others for reference:

My Experience Before and After Beginning Process with Animals and Nature – Part 1- Day 361

Horses and People– Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature Part 2 – Day 362

Horses and People – Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature – Part 3 - Day 363

Opening Up Confidence In the Mind – Before/After Starting to Walk Process – Part 4 – Day 364

My Experience with Confidence In Appearance - Part 5 - Day 365

Opening Up Confidence within the Mind – Money – Part 6 – Day 366

Confidence in the Mind – In a Group/Alone – Part 7.1 – Day 367

Group Settings

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that I have to define myself according to others in a group and so compromise who I am within myself in each moment based on believing I have to be a certain way towards others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to compare myself to others within my environment or a group setting and see where and how I stand within the group based on my skills and looks, and so either become charged within a negative or positive energy depending how I conclude myself within the group dynamic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on the people I am with and compare myself in a negative or positive way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my looks to others in a group and define myself as more or less and so define myself based on the charge of positive or negative energy related to the point that I have defined myself as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my skills within a group setting and see that I am either better or less then those in the group based on the assessment I have made in that moment and so believe that this assessment in a moment defines me absolutely, and so become either happy or depressed based on the definition I have held of myself in relation to comparisons among the group and myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others and so create a inferior or superior stance within the group based on the results I have found according to how I match up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I have assessed I am better, become heightened within who I am and see myself as more accepted from others and more comfortable based on this belief that I have more value then others based on my comparison assessments that I am more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create value judgments based on my mind assessments asthoughts, ideas, and beliefs, when in reality I realize this does not stand up to physical reality and realize that each one have value in equal regard as life and that all have the potential for excellence in that which they decide to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within a group setting based on the feeling I get through a belief that is based on a point of fear as being not as good, so I enhance myself whenever I can and so become inconsiderate of others within the group because I am only acting within my self interest to get to the top.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself within a group in self interest in desiring to be at the top so I can feel comfortable and accepted because I have defined being comfortable and accepted only based on who is the best rather then a living expression of me in the acceptance of myself as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on the belief that to be the best is to be without fear and to be able to be accepted by all and comfortable within the group, when in reality, this is only the fear showing itself as I am fearing people rejecting me and being uncomfortable within group settings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the belief that to be the best I will be accepted and comfortable within the group and so limit myself to desire to be the best instead of living in the moment in absolute self expression with no expectations or desires for more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself based on fear of being rejected and uncomfortable in a group setting because I have defined this experience as painful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the experience of being rejected from a group as a point of being painful and so uncomfortable, when I realize I can define myself and express myself in the way that I decide who I am.

And so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make others feel rejected and uncomfortable based on fear and so live out this illusion as belief that those that don’t have skills or are not the best are not as important as those who are the best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this belief that the best is based on a polarity as some are and some arent instead of living this within myself in all that I do in consideration of all here as equals and so ensure that all live the best rather then competing for it as this is not necessary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear to direct me and also I forgive I have accepted and allowed desire to be the best direct me into seeking positive energy as experiences of happiness and acceptances, when in reality these are not real because I am not living these in fact within myself but seeking it outside myself from others approval.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek others approval rather then live here and become the potential I can be in each moment as living my words in oneness and equality, and so become an example so all can live this as well and we live in what is best.

When and as I see I am going into a point of comparison within a group setting, I stop and breath, and move myself into my body through moving myself physically, ground myself, and realize I am equal and one with all that are here and do not need to attain anything to realize this, but walk self honesty and change myself to be the living word.

I commit myself to ground myself and move physically to stabilize myself from participating in energy of desiring to be the best.

I commit to stop comparing myself to others in group and work on walking my words in self expression and self acceptance.

I commit myself to stop judging others and so accept all as self and walk with people in equality and see who they are and learn/enjoy them as I would like them to do the same with me.

I commit myself to stop fear of rejection and walk the point of accepting all as life as who we are here.

I commit to move myself to open and push self expression in groups and find ways to expand and grow together.

Eqafe Interview Support that I Recommend: