Monday, July 17, 2017

Focused Living - Day 558

How to Practically Live a Word - Focus

My current definition and how I see this word Focus:

Focus for me as how I have been seeing it and living it in the past is I am seeing as an undesired force put upon me in things that I did not want to focus on, mainly i am seeing my mom making me focus on things i had no real interest in like church or playing with dolls, this when i was little and thus being forced to focus on these things based on her needs and not my own. Also I am seeing school where teachers would make us focus on our school work in classrooms where i couldn’t get up and move around, and so I was forced to focus on subjects and topics in boxed rooms closed off to the outside world where i couldn’t move about in freedom, which i highly resisted. This would more be the negative attachments to the word focus i have placed in me. 

On the positive side, I am seeing the word focus as a means to an end where i get something, like money or accolades for focusing in on something, doing it well, and then being reward with some sort of praise or gift. Focusing then was done to inflate my ego or my experience of myself as superior through gaining something externally to make me feel more important or better about myself. So needing something externally like money or praise from others as a reward for me to feel something about myself in a positive way, and if i was focused in what i did I realized I had a better chance of getting these things that made me feel good about myself and my life.

My Redefinition: 

Focus - how i am seeing living the word focus is an actual physical movement within myself in moments where i become distracted in thinking and/or in things I am doing. So to live focus would be to move toward the center of myself in my awareness into the center of my body. It’s a supportive word that realigns my self awareness back to my center point and i am noticing that this center point focus is right in the middle of my chest, just above my breast bone and below my neck. This is specific this spot as it feels in a way like a source of strength, this strength is here within me as me and living this word focus when i move my awareness into my physical presence of myself as this center point in my chest and then i live it into the task i am doing I find my ability to live what it fact I set myself out to do becomes much more streamlined and specific, and I have less strain to in fact get it done. A support word I have found also is the words slowing down, which supports with moving from the busyness of the distraction such as thinking or getting entertained by something outside myself, slowing back to down to my physical breath and thus moving into the word focus which I again support myself with to move into this center point in my chest. From here, I move into the task I set out for myself to live. 

Contexts in how i will live this word Focus:

Work - In work i plan to write out a list when i first sit down at my desk and start my day, living the word focus, i am going to use this word as the redefined living of it to move my focus back to my physical body, working with centering my self awareness in that center point in my chest when i see i start to lose focus in my day and become distracted with desires such as checking facebook or getting up and speaking to people around the office unnecessarily just to not face what it is I must get done. Using the word focus and the action of become centered inside myself focusing on breathing and my physical body, I can move myself out of the desire to distract myself and stick to the task list i had made out in the beginning of my work day to stay on task and move through the day with more effective efficency. 

Yoga - Yoga is an activity i have been wanting to integrate in my day to day, though I have resisted it due to the uncomfortability in my body i feel in doing it because it is slow and hurts me as i am not that flexible. Here i plan to use the word focus to again focus my awareness on the physical, bringing me out of the distractions of my mind and into my physical body movements as i work with yoga positions and breathing techniques. 

Desire to give up at task during my day - I notice often how easily i tend to go into giving up when things become uncomfortable in my body or I have to put a bit more effort or even sometimes a lot more effort into something that I am doing. For example, I was bringing laundry up a flight of stairs and it was extra full and thus extra heavy. I wanted to give up and just drop it to get a break. I remembered this word focus with the movement of slowing down meaning moving out of my head in thoughts and back into my chest center point as my physical presence awareness, and from here i moved my awareness into my whole body. I found this supported with balancing myself in my body where i was using a lot more muscles and focus on these muscles rather then going into my head and wasting my energy in thinking and thus eventually giving into the desire to stop. So here i am going to use this word focus to support me in these moments where i want to give up and instead of giving up, center myself in my physical body, move into my self awareness as this chest center point, and from here as my self awareness is present live the word focus as i focus in on the task at hand and live that to get it done. 

Thanks all for reading and will report later in the week of how this is going.