Monday, December 24, 2018

Some In-Sights to this Christ-mass Day - Who AM I? Day 571

Christmas, a day of giving. 

Here I have been looking at christmas today due to lots of my life being involved in it even if I didn't want this much christmas in my world lol. For instance, I have a business leadership responsibility where I have to follow certain traditions that have been put in place, such as giving bonus checks out at the end of the year as a gift from the owners to the employees. I also like to give something extra as a gift from the new leadership in the company, which is my cousin and myself, and it be something practical, cool, and an advertisement for the company, this year I gave an embroidered lightweight backpack for people to go hiking, biking, take to the gym, whatever. So I enjoy surprising people with that.

I also am living at my sisters house and she hosts christmas dinner for my family, so I have had to give myself to helping her in many ways due to the fact that there are so many little factors that creates the eventual party that everyone will enjoy with food, drink, bake goods, and children opening presents. So there is christmas everywhere in my world and always has been around this time, though I realize not everyone is able to take a day off and enjoy with there family or friends, I do consider this at all times as best I am able to to not lose sight of what is important and who I am in my life and living. 

So I have been playing with this day today as in recent past I have disliked christmas, not wanting to be a part of it, seeing it as a scam, ect. which in many ways the idea of christmas and how it is directed in our reality is messed up, though I have been redefining it for myself and so I have found a way to stand within it and just be here with myself and everyone else regardless of what is happening and what is out of my control at this time.

I have chosen this word - play in my process to support me to anchor myself into my reality and so instead of becoming depressed or inferior or judgmental or superior, stand within a point of play, having fun, being creative, and being present and this supports with anchoring me into my body and so becoming balanced within who I am quite nicely I have found. The act of being present and finding like an adventure out of your everyday routine or life, makes life quite interesting and enjoyable to walk through. Not every moment, of course, is like this and there are moments where seriousness or some other state of being needs to be lived, but I push myself to balance myself back into this word - play and thus fun and adventure whenever the opportunity arises or I am reminded to do so. 

These words like play, fun, adventure, creative have served me well as I find I a much more at ease within my body and my self as me when actively living them and expanding within them as my living, and through this I have more of an influence and reach within my reality, I am able to connect more to people, hold more communication, eye contact, and intimacy with others, I am able to expand myself within who I am as a person that is here to support, not to harm, and also to expand in my reality, understanding more, understanding myself more, and so the path and journey continues. Always having my pillars of inner support being self honesty, self forgiveness, self introspection, self correction, and living the change within self and one's world, this is a process at desteni, it is a cycle, and it goes deeper and deeper into self, which is equally part of the play, fun, and adventure!

I found this christmas more the living of giving in a truer sense within myself in not only giving gifts as wrapped toys or presents, but actually being the present, being present with others and giving the gift that is my expression, where I make an effort to be present with the other, connect, engage in a way that adds benefit, and so leave the moment with a giving of myself as the fulfillment of who I am and can be in that moment to the best of my ability that I could see and so live. Living my highest self, pushing this as a focus and steadfast point as who I am until it is natural, this being a gift for me and others this christmas, so I am grateful and look forward to the day where I am just here breathing and living what is best for all regardless, it is who I am, simple as that. 

Christmas is just a day to practice this more intently due to the nature of the holiday, eventually it’ll be transcended though for the time being I like to use the day with efficiency and for sure fun, play, and radical self expression in the giving of who I am as the gift itself. 

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