A Lady's Journey to Life: Opening Up Inferiority in the Mind – What does it mean in the Mind tobe Embarrassed?

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Opening Up Inferiority in the Mind – Part 1 – Day 370

Being embarrassed I find is a reaction that is activated due to a starting point within myself of feeling inferior to the people/person I am interacting with that witnessed or was part of the point of me reacting in embarrassment within myself. So embarrassment is an outflow of a construct within my mind of existing within desires of being superior to others and so within this desire create the balancing out effect, which is becoming inferior. If I pursue superiority and the belief of myself that I am this, inferiority will also be created as a belief, neither are true in fact, but I certainly can create it to be real and thus true for me. Hence the way I am experincing myself at the moment, split and in conflict with reality and myself.

So with an embarrassing moment I had, there are already existing beliefs that I am trying to live up to or create in my reality based on them being created in my mind, so for example, a belief that I must never slip on ice and if I slip on ice especially in front of others, I will be seen as an idiot and so become embarrassed. This happen today and this is the thought I had, ‘of course, the mailman had to see that’, and so what creates this point of reaction to something that happen in reality that I had no control to stop in the moment, is the belief that I am inferior to others if I am not at all times living as my mind desires myself to live in - picture perfection. That's not real though and so the conflict in life and fighting this experience of embarrassment is being created, which is counterproductive and creating abuse within and as my physical body as stress and without in the world that I am separating myself from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a starting point in my world of desiring to be able to survive, to be better, to win, to get money, to stay stable, and so create the balancing point of inferiority to exist within me as I see, realize, and understand that when you create an imbalance within living such as desiring one and avoiding another living reality, you will create what you resist because of the mere fact that you are trying to avoid it and it in fact being a part of you to be faced and corrected thus it's impossible to avoid it because its a part of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I am trying to avoid myself and not have to face the points within myself that I see as inferior and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for these points within myself that I desire to abdicate to the chance of living in polarity and so create an endless cycle of abuse towards myself and others through projecting reactions such as embarrassment onto others when all the while I see, realize, and understand it’s a point of anger within myself that I am not accepting myself and changing myself to embrace all of who I am here in this reality, change that which is not best for all, and walk through all the points needed to ensure this change in what is best for all is lived into reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate myself from the responsibility within who I am here as a being of life to correct my relationship to myself and to this world within separation that I have been living as inferior/superior and live what in fact is real and will then create the physical alignment that is required to start moving myself as well as all the life that is here that I will effect/touch in my living to move to the alignment of life as oneness and equality to balance this world into equilibrium and stop the way of life that is destroying who we are here as seperation of Self as Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist and embrace energy as the mind to direct me and give me instant satisfaction where I don’t have to move in fact in the physical to create self change, but can live in the mind in illusion and be ignorant in bliss to the fact that I am not considering life and how I am effecting it and still 'feeling' something, and so in this relationship of ignorance, abusing and destroying life in many ways that I would not in anyway want for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse life and destroy life by allowing ignorance as bliss to overcome me and follow it completely where I don’t push myself to move beyond the mind in the energies of reaction but stay in it and participate in it and so continue to abuse others as I have in my reality and not change in self interest of having my 'own' experience.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to move beyond the reactions, energies, and beliefs of the mind and move into physical living completely as breath by breath decisions to ensure I am in self awareness and moving according to common sense and consideration of the environment I am in one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be consumed with inferiority due to not accepting myself as is, and so I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to align to the physical body and live in the physical, breathing, changing my living in self honesty and self forgiveness, and walking the path of life here out of the illusion of polarity, this where I am whole and complete and able to direct myself in self determination and self creation.

When and as I see I am going into survival and going into the polarity of desiring the superior stances in my world such as beauty attention, status, praise, prestige, reward, pleasure as my experience, I stop and breath, and realize that I am separating myself from reality and so will create separation in my world such as inferiority and embarrassment with the outflow consequence being abuse to others and myself. I realize these outflows of separation are not in fact real livinv as who we really are as life beings in awareness, but it’s the mind working as it does in it’s design creating energy to control self and so to have complete control of the physical reality.

I commit myself to move beyond the polarity of superior/inferior and direct myself in the moment in alignment with the physical necessary step to take, take a breath and assess the physical, and move within the assessment made in consideration of the physical environment I am in equal and one, and live.

I commit myself to let go of anger and the outflow of embarrassment within myself and towards my world.

I commit to embrace myself and accept myself in moments where I see I want to go into judgment, I breath, and bring myself back to the physical as who I am as life and step beyond the moment to a new moment that is here, fresh and stable.

I commit to let go of the past and walk breath by breath in each moment new here.

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