Continuing with living this word for myself, i wrote some sf and a blog last night on this word and the programming within it, and found it was due to the extremes of energy distractions i have lived into in the positive as indulging in these feelings, being happy, being excited, being curious, being elated, ect. in a way how i physically stand within these points in my body is it's a rush to my head from my solar plexus/stomach area in many cases and warm sensations come over my body and within my head area i am following a line of thoughts, pictures, and im off somewhere in my mind in a way distracting me from the self responsibility I am to face, understand, and change within walking my desteni i process of self forgiveness, self honesty, and living change until it is done.
The polarity of these extremes has been wanting to rebel against the system and those i blame for creating it, underneath that I found deep petrification of survival and death, so still working through these memories, though the realization and change process i am seeing to walk and in a way have redefined this word extreme to be from the outer world as my behaviors through the mind as separation in positive chase for the experience of feeling good for a moment and so balancing it out with the negative experiences of most fear, instead flipping the script and working with the word from the within to the without of self.
I am redefining the word extreme to be an inner fire, passion, that point of life essence that is burning inside of me, pushing, gentle yet in the ultimate strength of never giving up, never giving up on life here in what is best, and using that will as self as my realization and understanding of who i am as life, as the source, as the solution into my expression for all to learn from, be supported by as I have been supported, and creating life here, through the worst, coming through the ashes like a phoenix, that life force that makes it possible to breath and live, that is what extreme i will live, for life, the passion and fire that burns within to use as a force for what is best as my own self will, as my own living word, as who i am in all ways until it is done.
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