Wednesday, July 26, 2023

Day 6 - drugs




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that drugs are a solution in any way of the self honest person (based on one’s self honesty) and use drugs to hide the actual desire and rancidness that exist as me to fuck around and not live the point of self support necessary to stop the addiction to energy as high, and make a place and reality that supports all life through the principles of equality and what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust my mind where I believe it is helping me and transforming my body internally to a way where I am helping this process to become more aligned and best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am in control and directing myself when on drugs, when I could clearly see that I was running chaotically and addicted to the experience I was getting from it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do drugs and weed when I understood it was a tool for the mind programs and to enhance the minds ability to possess me in my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire drugs to fill a void within that I am doing something of value for life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delude myself in to believing that I am doing something of worth on drugs instead of stopping and realizing I am harming my physical body and the abusive outflows such as outburst that occur when I am off them. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to direct myself within chats and principled living talk while in my secret mind on drugs and using drugs to help me to be better and more then.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete with my peers in group and believe that drugs are helping me with an edge to get over on the other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as unworthy and use drugs as a way to fill the void and experience myself as able to compete with my reality.

I commit myself to stop any and all drugs where I am behind the scenes competing and in delusional states of chaos.

I commit myself to stop weed forevermore.

I commit myself to educate others on the brutal nature that comes out through drug use and that the purpose of life is not to get high but bring about a world that is best for all life as best for oneself.

I commit myself to educate others on the consequences I face where my life is forever damaged from this and will have to face and live with consequences that I didn’t see or expect, but are here and not best for all life.
 

Monday, July 10, 2023

Day 4 - love and desire




 
 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be loved by another and create a belief that this makes a happy/good life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  desire someone to give me the compliments and loving embrace and within this fall and love into points that cause self consequences that create the opposite as the polarity balances it self out to hate, and within that go back into the desire to be loved.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to love others and in this seek a return on my investment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give as I’d like to receive, and in this create a lack I myself where I fill it with energy as the love experience instead of walking and living in common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to live for the love energy and become misguided and confused when it stops or no longer is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not redefine love and in this find a definition that creates an outcome that is best for all and in this will be best for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in hate when the love energy is taken away as I see, realize, and understand that I am fooling myself as the outplay is the same lack and consequences as I did not stand in the common sense of giving all this as a living experience and not stop until that outcome is the result, but seek self glorification and self interest in gaining energy as it feels good for some moments.
 

Day 5 - Abomination as a human




I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become a human that has disrespected and made degusting the life i was given as a gift from life itself, which i see, realize, and understand resides within all here as the physical.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use my physical body and living substance in a way to help defile and deform the gift of life as the physical within the equality equation of common sense one plus one equals two. 1+1+2.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to seek pleasure and glorification of who i believe myself to be in my mind based on the feelings i am generating from thinking about who i think i am as a portal/god type being, instead of breathing in these moments and finding the will to stop my desires, and get into the common sense of the matter that if life is still not being cared for on all levels, as starvation, war, poverty, and my own self insecurities are still rampant.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be two faced as the split i have accepted and allowed myself to become, one in my mind in desires/fears, and one in the physical as my physical body in a way in chaos not realize through abdication of responsibility what is real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not stick to the equality equation as accumulated living steps to the commitments and agreements i set out to live, but instead desired self glorification and pleasure where i am the king/queen, regardless of the state of myself as this world and my life, which is not what is best.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not hold the entire ecosystem of life within me, but the mind's desires, wants, and ideas which when measured with the ecosystem of the natural/physical world i live in, doesn't equate to be balanced.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire the fruits of this life, without standing in the principle of the physics of the living flesh, which is one plus one equals two, and thus create an abomination of a human being, as life is not able to stand within what is best as the best is tainted with evil, equal live backwards, not balanced.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to follow others due to lack of effort in walking the equality equation of one plus one equals two, but instead desire others to walk for me, and me follow which causes a lack of accountability and responsibility to the direction my life will go as it's now in chaotic flow, rather then what i can do to the best of my ability and will, which is to walk within directive principle as my living word/action and forgive myself when i am seeing this is necessary as well as live the corrective action to stop the evil and abnodation of human being i have become to one that births life from the physical and gives back to myself the breathe of life as me here balanced as my thought, word, and living action.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a belief that i am a good person or i am an evil person, and within that polarity separate myself from the mechnaism which is my physical breathe by breathe living in a way that will support others as has supported me.

I commit myself to stop the experiences of lostness and shame to direct in each moment I am given to support others and myself to see that life is able to be free within the principles lived that is best for all.

I commit myself to stand in the shame of what has happened to show and let others see that not standing in one’s self honesty and self responsibility to be a human being with integrity through the equality equation, you lose a great sense of self understanding and self awareness, and it’s not worth it. 

I commit myself to help myself out of the shame and holes of doubt and fear I have created for myself to again stand and do my best to live in a way that is best for all.
 

Day 3 - anger and blame


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry when life doesn’t go to plan.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry at others when life doesn’t go to plan.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry at others in my life and not let go and move on to stand in a way where I can find a way that is best for me in a way of changing my starting point, and find the will to not blame but support in what’s best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for the pain and hurt I am experiencing in moments of regret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take self responsibility for the actions I did and in this get up after the falls and keep willing myself to do better/best. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate responsibility to others, where I give my ability to respond in the fate of what may be, and thus allow mind systems such as anger and blame creep in and cause more consequences then if I stood in that moment and directed myself in what is best for all as I’d like for myself.

I forgive myself to accept and allow myself to hold on to anger and resentment toward others, instead of letting go of the energy as anger and resentment to putting myself in the others shoes and finding a way forward that is best for both.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others when in reality, I see I am equally responsible as I lived into temptations and did not stand in a way that supports life.

I commit myself to let go of the past, and move forward from here.

I commit myself to let go anger and breathe when it comes up.

I commit myself to breathe when others are in anger and see if and where I can help resolve the issues or let it go.

I commit myself to stop blame and take responsibility for my actions, to do my best to rectify what has been created, and find a way to create something better.

I commit myself to stop resentment of others, let that go, and find a way to live better within my day to day life, take each new day and moment fresh and with the ability to respond in a better way.
 

Day 2 Fear of Failure



forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the failure of my life and fear not being life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to make it this life and not stand in my own self authority in moments I see I am able to, but give in to the mind temptation such as feeling good for a moment or snacking on things of pleasure, and then go into this fear of failing, when in reality did not stand in my point of self authority by stopping in the moments that the desire or temptation is here.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire to succeed without putting in the physical step by step process it’ll take to stand equal and one to the pattern in real life living, which is daily mathematics of stopping through time, until I stop, and distract myself with fear of failure. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to face the understanding that failure is a part of life, and standing up and moving forward to change and stand as the directing point as myself to stop the failure point in real time moments by standing and saying til here no further, I stop. And I live this over and over.

Revenge

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to seek revenge for me failing and not standing in my own points of transcendence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want revenge in others whom I blame for my fall and failure, when I see that I walked the fall and thus must reestablish my authority in myself, and thus change the outcome for myself and the other in a way that will be supportive and best for both.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the idea of failing as a means to hide behind where I really am resisting doing the actual steps to stop a pattern of behavior of harm, and thus fall and fail inevitably due to self defeat and laziness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed laziness to exist within me, and not stand in the face of the minds desire to give in and give up, and fail in pity for not standing and stopping.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up, and not push through when I am able to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for failing and falling in supporting myself to stop a pattern that is not beneficial to my life and living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to seek revenge of those I deem put me in these ways of living, instead of living the change in self honesty that I walked and lived this myself. I am the creator.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility of standing and stopping my mind demons and desires, and blame it on something outside myself.

I commit myself to stop the thoughts of revenge, and stand in the others shoes so I can direct myself in a way that will benefit life and living in what is best.

I commit myself to accept failure as a part of this life process and get up every time, until I stand as the equal authority of the pattern.

I commit myself to walk in sounding self forgiveness the thought patterns of these patterns of revenge and failure, to stand when these patterns come again.

I commit myself to get back up, each fall knowing I can and will myself to find eventual peace as this is what is best for myself and so all.
 
For more on the tools of self perfection and change, check out:

Thursday, July 6, 2023

Starting again - Day 1

 


 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am special for being a destonian.

I frogive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am special because of the intelligence i believe i have and thus can use this idea and belief of myself to in my mind make myself feel more then, better then others, and thus believe that i can get something out of it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be better then others to fill a void in myself where i lack confidence and care and love for myself because i judge myself and so judge others to fit into the roles of my mind creations that suit me in the moment.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find the time to stand and sit and contemplate about who is what and create ideas and thinking patterns of what is here and who is what, rather then take my day to day life step by step and breathe by breathe.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to be special because i feel i lack any real value and worth to make people like me and stay around.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am not worthy of anything because of what i have judged of myself and what i have done to a degree where i shamed life as myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to stay in self pity and victimization for my past and what i particpated in, and thus go into laziness and robotic dullness where i don't do much and just want to waste away.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be a portal of good, and thus fear being the worst, bad, or evil that i have participated and accepted to exist. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame others and not see that i am not standing myself and walking the talk that it takes to become self honest and live a new way that is supportive of myself and others equal and one.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear of failing and thus fear that i am going to be lost for good in the sea of my mistakes, and never recover.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming lost.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming abandoned by life/myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abandon and let others be lost, not supporting them when i see they can be.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear the worst of myself and not make my life into the gift i was given.

I forgive myself that i am too far gone to ever have forgiveness of life and be in a state of peace and naturalness.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire peace, and so not give it and live it as myself to others as i'd like to receive. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not give as i'd like to receive but hold it as a transaction where i want a return.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be conditional with others and so not give as i'd like to receive.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not stand when my mind kicks in and wants to rage.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to forget self forgiveness and common sense when i see that i am in the throws of emotions and feelings.

I commit myself to let go of the past and stand fresh here to give to myself the gift of living in a better way, a way that'll support me and so others.

I commit myself to stop the rage within me, and breathe with self forgiveness until i am again clear.

I commit myself to stop myself when i go into a idea of what is best, and let it go until i can ensure that what is best for all is in fact the outcome through proper study and investing time into the point to see what dimensions and points exist so i am better understanding what is happening before acting.

I commit myself to take it slow and walk the points more in writing before i live it.

I commit myself to give of myself what i would like to give to others so i can in fact be able to gift to others what is best as this is what i'd like for myself.

 I commit to not speak or write in emotion, but go to sf and breathe until i am clear, walking patience with myself as the point so i infact cause no harm.