Showing posts with label i am a victim. Show all posts
Showing posts with label i am a victim. Show all posts

Monday, July 16, 2012

Day 85- 'I am the Victim' Character




I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into the victim character to not have to face my actions/consequences to who I have become in the moment where the victim character was activated, thus when this is activated I realize that this is a point to take note of and change as this is an excuse to not have to face myself and walk the change that is necessary to be walked to take responsibility and honor life as myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use the victim character to deflect the responsibility and consequence off of me and onto another by believing the lie within myself that it is not my fault and I had nothing to do with it as I realize within myself I am only looking out for my own interest and actually in fear of being caught and confronted so thus I use the victim character to hide essentially from myself and pin the blame on another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the victim character because I fear facing the consequences that I have created thus realizing that this cycle will continue were I will cause abuse and thus create consequence of conflict in my world based on me not considering others and within this will always cycle back and forth because I am missing the key point that this consequence of cycling from conflict to victim is showing me, which is me within in it not taking responsibility for myself and who I am being within the conflict situations thus I will not be able to change myself if I don't see me as the cause and continue to stay as the victim character.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hide from myself within using this victim character to essentially become like a fake face where I can go into blame and confuse the point to a 'he said - she said' and thus accept and allow the point to continue and allow the consequences for myself and another as abuse to continue when I realize now within the moment I see I start to move into the victim character to stop and breath, and find the point of responsibility I need to stand within and as and walk the solution that is necessary to be walked to create equilibrium with the other honoring ourselves as life in each one and doing what is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to within myself believe that I am not in the wrong and it is always the other persons wrong doing because within myself I want an easy time at life and not have to push myself to walk the change because I see this as difficult and taking a lot of effort and consistency to do and thus I see that using and going into the victim character is an easy way out. Within this I realize that it may be easy for a moment, but it is the cause to my own self enslavement where I am resisting and limiting myself to an 'easy feeling', where I could walk through the feeling, take responsibility and stop abusing the life that I am and live equal and one. I realize the equality and oneness of life here is through taking responsibility and standing within this point in all facets of our life to thus establish oneness and equality with all, which is the freedom of life here for real and who we are as the substance that create all life here and is within all that exist.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into polarities within this victim character where I will create up dishonest points within the other as they are 'wrong' and I am 'right' and thus create this idea that this is so and this is fact when only I am being considered and in fact I am not walking the shoes of another so no point of absolution such as I am 'right' and another is 'wrong' can be claimed as I am the other and thus I realize that this polarity play-out of absolution as I claim is not in fact real because I am not considering the other who I realize is me and I am just using it to create myself more into a state of victimization so I can gain sympathy from others and get my actions validated.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into false statements within a polarity play-out of I am right and they are wrong within the 'hope' that others will validate me and thus I can gain a sort of energy boost within myself were I will become elated because I got attention and others are 'agreeing' with me. But within this agreement I realize and see that this is based on the dishonesties of ourselves as another is walking in separation as well going into an agreement with one who is in seperation and they themselves are equally trying to gain validation for their dishonest actions and thus it becomes a game of 'losers' where we are losing the chance at real life by taking responsibility for self and all as self and changing to consider the other equal to yourself and correct that within yourself that is not best for all, which would be to stop playing victim and stop abusing life in self interest.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to live into energy as good feelings by abusing others based on my desire to not have to face who I have become here.

I forgive myself myself for allowing and accepting myself to give my power away to ego and fear and thus accept abuse as me and separate me from who I am here as life diminishing myself and abusing life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow fear to direct me into self diminishment and thus instead accept and allow self interest as survival instead of the survival of all in care for all through living the principles of oneness and equality with all life. I realize and see within and as me that I must stop the fear, stop the self interest, stop my ego from trying to gain over others, and walk the responsibility of my consequences that I have created. Walk the writing and self forgiveness and thus change myself in my living to honor life and myself by living and creating a world that is best for all life through and within my own self living towards myself as all life. This is who we are life not abuse, so I must stop the abuse of others and myself here by stopping my fear and hiding in playing the victim character.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into my mind and validate this victim character by participating in the thoughts and accept them that I am right and others are to blame when I realize and see that I am not in consideration of the other but only attempting to validate my own self interest by using my thoughts as justification for the actions I am taking as victim when I realize thoughts are not to be trusted and are a point of enslavement of the human as the mind consciousness system is designed as. Thus I realize I must stop the thoughts of justification and validation of the victim character, and walk the physical process to be physical and not be directed by my mind.

I commit myself to take responsibility for my actions within and as a point where I desire to go into a victim character scenario, but stop and walk the change. I stop, breath, and do not accept and allow myself to use the victim point to point fingers and for a moment get out of facing my responsibility.

I commit to stop the backchat thoughts and diminishment of others within my mind and stand in equality and oneness here with all others in physical reality as breath and slow myself down and do not participate in the mind in self interest, but walk the correction by considering all as myself in physical common sense practical living.

I commit myself to stop my ego and self interest in only considering myself and my own feelings and thus I must stop living for feelings over the best for all life.

I commit to stop abusing life by only considering myself and walk the correction to consider and walk the consideration of all I come into contact with especially when I see that I am about to go into the victim character.
I commit myself to let go of the desire to have others like me and validate me by agreeing with me when I go into this victim character as this is an easy way to make 'friends' as I realize this is self diminishment and not real, only based on characters and self interest to be 'validated' as I am not accepting myself.

I commit myself to accept myself and all life here and walk the correction of acceptance of all and self responsibility for all as myself and walk the walk to a new world where all are honored and all characters cease to exist except the character of life that is here as physical as a breath that I am one and equal with all that exist.


victim, I am a victim, head games, blame game, characters, actors in life, life is a stage, he did it, equality, equal life, eqafe, desteni, 2012, journey to life, garbrielle gabrielle goodrow

Friday, April 20, 2012

Day 6 - I am an Anger De-Man

I exert my anger where I find that I am believing that I am more then another or where I blame and see myself as a victim, both I see are not real as they are abdicating my self responsibility to life as I am the creator of who I am and how I experience myself, thus I stop this through self forgiveness, and walking the change to stand equal with life in a way that is best for all.

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I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within anger in my world towards any point that comes up in the statement that I see another at fault and thus am reacting in blame and creating unnecessary abuse as I exert my anger onto another. I see and realize that anger is but a manifestation outflow of not taking responsibility for myself and seeing self as a victim, I am here though and see that I am the cause of all that is here as me, and thus I walk the correction of stopping this anger from directing me through slowing myself down and seeing that I am the source, core, origin of why I am behaving in such a way as anger towards another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to go into a point of victimization towards my world and what has occurred with others and thus go into blame and energize my back chat of thoughts that I am the victim, I am the one who gets the short end of the stick, and I should not be treated this way it's not fair. Within this backchat I allow it to accumulate to such a degree where eventually I will go into an energy outburst towards others as anger and ruin any trust or equality built by accepting myself to demonize and diminish others thru exerting my force over them through shouting and calling them names. I realize and see within this that I am the cause, source, and origin of this deliberate abuse towards another by not controlling my emotions and existing in spite and blame towards another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within spite and blame towards another being because I don't want to give up this energy as anger based on the sensation I get when I exert it and it releases the built up of frustration and irritation I have within myself, this feeling of release I have become addicted to and exhilarated by as it gives me a form of a high when I unleash it on others, allowing me for that moment to gain a release and feel 'good'. But I realize and see within this feeling of 'good' it will always come down to the reality of what I have done and created within my mania of anger towards others, which is regret and the living out of 'what have I done'. I see and understand that I am the cause of this and that I need to stop the accumulation of emotions and blame to not get to a point where I unleash and exert anger onto undeserving beings, I am the source thus I must stop this within myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be addicted to the energy accumulation and release of anger and in moments enjoy releasing it onto others as I feel within this moment more powerful and in control as a sense of dominance over another, and within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to separate myself into the belief that power and control is through dominating another and causing them to 'pay' for what I see is their fault. Within this point of 'payback' I see and realize this is a complete abdication to my own self creation of allowing this pattern to continue as I continue to participate in thoughts of 'I hate this person' 'this person is such an asshole, look how they just cut me off' 'aw will she just get the fuck into reality, and stop taking shit' and accepting these thoughts to direct me to separate me from the being where I have the false pretense that I am more deserving or more then this being because I have created these thoughts within myself as justification for the abuse and anger I exert on to them as accepting these thoughts as valid and true.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the thoughts 'I hate this person' to direct me in moments where I have the ability to stand up within myself stop the separation within  self interest, and walk one and equal within the persons shoes to get to know who they are, where they come from, and why they have created themselves in such a way to thus give myself understanding and assistance to stand with in finding solutions rather then going into ego and creating abuse within personality play outs of I am better then her/him.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the thought 'this person is such an asshole, look at them just cut me off' as I see I am only going into ego to see myself exalted as the righteous one to thus see myself more then another to gain acceptance for myself within myself as myself within the polarity of inferior/superior as competition in my world. Within this I see and realize that this justification of being better towards another due to the fact that I am existing in competition so I can be the winner is unacceptable as it causes separation and harm, this is unacceptable due to it be a self indulgence to go the easy way out and not have to face myself as the creator of this experience, I am the one reacting and allowing anger and competition with another when I see I can simply let them go, stop, and direct in a way of self responsibility to a solution best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the thought 'aw will she just get the fuck into reality, and stop talking shit' this again I see and realize is a point of exalting my ego so I can be seen as more then another being, and thus going into self righteousness where I believe I can call her out or inflict some sort of harshness onto her as I believe that she is just 'talking shit'. Where instead I realize I could stand one and equal with the other in an attempt to come to some common ground and see where she is coming from based on her whole perpective on things, where there is more understanding who she is as a being, and then from there direct myself within given perspective of my own, within common sense and working towards solutions rather then causing conflict.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exalt my ego in attempts of trying to be more then others and thus within this exhalation of my ego from and sourced within the thoughts i have created of being self righteous, instead of fully understanding and standing equal to that being, I am only creating conflict within my world and diminishing myself as I am being an abuser and causing harm to the life here that where I see I am harming me. I will always get what I create, thus I am the creator of  myself, I am responsible for my creation. I see and realize that the ego as self righteousness is just me not accepting myself and the anger is me accepting and allowing dishonesty to grow as I go into abuse rather then in self honest introspection to stand equal and find solutions to what is showing within my world as resistances.

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My Self Correction:

When and as I go into this point of thinking about others in ways that are self righteous and diminishing them, I stop and say 'No' breath through the thoughts as I stop giving them energy, and thus I see that the accumulation of anger will diminish as I am no longer fueling with thoughts and emotions. When I see and realize that anger is accumulated, I stop and breath, and apply self forgiveness for this accumulation point, seeing and realizing that the being I am taking out my anger on or am directing it towards is me, and thus I stop abusing me as life.

I commit to stand within thoughts of accumulation and energy build up by disengaging them through stopping the participation with this back chat of blame and victimization, and remain here thru letting the energy go through breathing.

I commit myself to walk with beings as we walk our processes to become stable here, sharing myself in humbleness of what I have walked to give assistance if I see the need, and create the best way for all to stop conflict and stop anger by pushing and walking this stopping within myself.


anger, demonize, anger demon, human hell, i am a victim, self righteous, abuse, self abuse, hate, responsibility, stop anger, living solutions, peace, journey to life, 2012, process, desteni