I have been dealing with suppressed emotions, the emotions that I don't necessarily want to look at or face/confront as they are shameful and uncomfortable, but they are here and they are starting to accumulate in my most recent point i am facing with these points, and this has been in relation to my parents. I am seeing that all the points within me that I have regretted or fell in, I am subtly blaming them for as I am seeing that it is a way for me to release the built up energy as I have been accepting thoughts of them so I don't have to face myself and so change cause of addiction, addiction to energy, laziness, and not pushing beyond limitations. I see and am aware of within myself though that in fact mechanically I am generate the energy of blame and anger within me by thinking and accepting the thoughts of blame/anger toward my parents in this instance and not stopping, breathing, and forgiving myself.
So it's not actually really who self is or the function of life here, thinking/generating emotions and feelings, and reacting to others, it's limitation as it's illusion, it's a machine within us as us and all around, I am powering as myself within myself with outflows as energy creations from the thinking and so the body creates the energy as a by product causing abuse and self abuse and lots of suffering which is the horror for real. This is happening, i understand to a degree the process, but it seems like it can't be stopped, this another thought cause i can stop it and i have, it takes self discipline and self will/honesty and many others support points. The 'I can't' is a red flag to question as it also is blame and an excuse, why? because I am seeing in this self is unwilling to do the actual will and effort it takes to stop, so it's a matter again of discipline and self fortitude, I was also looking at how life could easily do this with me, blame and become angry at me as i do with others, yet it doesn't as that is not the principles and directive of life itself, it is here and walks the alignment with what is best for all as best for self. This is in the innocence of what is here as life, who we really are beyond harm/abuse/suffering.
I also see I am fearing and trying to avoid my consequence i can see, the facing of my reality where i can't blame anyone or anything as i walked the walk that i am standing within and also i see that again i am taking it to the worst case scenario, so here i see the solution, to walk out of these alignment points, walk out of the points of what i am working and creating in my reality with self acceptance and acceptance of what is here. Separating myself from what is here is the first point of self illusion, and in this once self accept what is here, work with directing it into a solution that is best for all.
Self Forgiveness
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think thoughts such as 'she is the reason i am so dumb, she doesn't do anything to help herself' 'he doesn't care about anything but work, he didn't take care of me properly' 'she is a robot that just wants to be lazy' 'he is a so nasty, i inherited this hate and anger for others because of him'.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed thoughts of rage anger and spite and hate onto others within myself because i am in pain due to failing to walk my consequence of my actions to a satisfactory degree and in this blame others because i don't want to face the pain and shame of what i have done which is not walked the path of self honesty in the moments where i was given direct and opportunity to walk it.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live in the opposite polarity with the beings that i am thinking and reacting to in negative emotions (in this instance) such as blame and hate, to when they support me and my life works out and things are good, see that i am in a positive stand seeing them as great and lovely beings due to the energy addiction i am seesawing in my mind within the ever flowing ride of the mind and the polarities that exist.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think about and allow the thoughts and in this react in the physical toward one of these beings in anger, shouting and telling her to not do something for me when she was giving me something she thought i would want/need.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take out my anger onto others and in this create a demonic disposition within me where i am not standing in self acceptance of what is here, and in this direct in the principles of patience, self honesty, and what is best for all life.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get angry within myself at others when i see its actually self anger for not standing in a way that is of life and giving into temptation as addictions and mind energy as good feelings/experiences.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that all i can do is exist in this energy, when in reality, it will dissipate through breathe and i can direct myself through self forgiveness in the moment and so stop perpetuating the outflow of harm and separation that is flowed out when i live into the thoughts and act them out.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the pressure that builds up through accepting and allowing thoughts and living into the energy creation is who i am, when in reality it is not, i realize i am of substance as life and that the mind is a separate entity taking but not giving back and thus I see when i live into this i am taking of life and not giving back.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for the thoughts i have accepted and live out as anger toward others in my world and reality as reaction when this is unacceptable as i am creating the actual reaction within me and i am the one allowing it to be lived out as i am generating the energy as i think and accept it as real by speaking and living it out as yelling/being harsh to the other.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become harsh and hateful toward others due to my own self dishonesty and lack of self will to live what is best for all life.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my reality wanting to make it about others, when i see, realize, and understand it is actually about self here as life here as myself and what i am going to do with what i see and what i create as what is here.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thoughts as lies that i am accepting and allowing about the others when in reality i am creating and accepting these thoughts without at all standing and physically being able to be/understand from the others perspective and thus it is not logical nor factual with how the thoughts originate from as mind distortion based on memories/pictures/ideas/beliefs, all here say/lies and not fact as reality as reality is one and equal as life in what is best for all.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame others and not faced the fear of shame and self humiliation i may experience when i go deeper into the pains and misstakes i have made in my past and in this accept them, forgive them, correct them, and change to live in a way that is best for all.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to instant gratification instead of standing in gratitude for life here and the breathes i am giving in this time to be able to engage in my process of self change to life so i can support myself and my reality in a way that works and will help build a way where life can come through and find the will to live, as i walk this in my day to day.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe through the points of life here, but stand in a way that is best through forgiving the thoughts, deleting them, breathing through the energy, and standing strong until it's done and the energy release here.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself or others as dumb and smart, i see, realize, and understand that learning is a part of self creation as expression and is done within breath as a unique process of self realization in the moment here, and thus it's not a separate point to judge react to but part of self creation here as life as self.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed judgment of any being instead of realizing the others is me and i must forgive my reaction/judgment and correct and direct life as myself in a way that allows all to express freely without causing any harm.
I commit myself to let go of the thoughts in the moment with breathe and not allow myself to react.
I commit myself to write out the memories or speak self forgiveness on the memories that i am still reacting to to release them and stop the harm/abuse in my reality to others and myself.
I commit myself to live gentleness and self acceptance as i move through the pain of the falls/misstakes and walk the commitments to change myself and not allow this again.
I commit myself stop blaming others and see that i am one and equal to them as i am them as we are of the same substance and direct myself and so eventually i can direct reality to be best for all.
I commit myself to live in gratitude for life and this physical reality that gives me opportunity to be here and continue to have the opportunity to create myself in a way that is best for all.
www.desteni.org
www.equalmoney.org
www.creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
Self Help course to start the journey to life:
lite.desteniiprocess.com
Best for all life until it's done.
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