Discipline – Re-Defining and Living Words – Day 522

 (I chose the fly as a picture of discipline because most see a pest and something that is to be killed as it's dirty, though if you study the actions of the bugs/animal kingdom you will see that they are extremely disciplined and live with integrity, yes even a fly observe life around you, you will see them as examples of how to live, I will write more on what I've learned from animals/bugs. There is much more to consider in this reality then meets the eye of the mind, life lives beyond the mind reality. For more on the animal kingdom and their purpose, please check out the link here.)

This is a continuation of this Blog:

My Process So Far of Living Words – Day 518

Living Words – Discipline – Morning Routine – Self Forgiveness and Self Change - Day 521

For me discipline is something I can relate to, this based on project I enjoy doing or activities that I am good at. For instance, sports, I was able to be disciplined in sports because I thrived off of it, becoming better in my skills, and competing to be the best among my peers. I find that with things such as reading or focusing on doing a report or writing for my job or responsibilities, I am less enthused and inclined to push myself to move into the decision to be disciplined. This based on the idea I have created within the work environment as not as fun and not able to physically express like how I am able to in a sport.

So points I am seeing that I can align myself within to live this word discipline more wholesomely throughout my day and life is through redefining the way in which I see work and play so to speak and also how I can expand myself in these two areas within the word discipline to indeed succeed in creating myself in more and more areas as well as to become proficient within all activities I encounter to live this word discipline across the board. Make this word an application I can live in many different scenarios.

What is the purpose for me to be disciplined?

The purpose for me to become disciplined is to expand myself eventually with ease, where I use the word discipline as a bridge to move through the transition phase or learning phase of something I take on that is new or I am rusty in, and move into an extension of myself within what I take on to be able to perform in an efficient way as well as to reach my highest potential.

So words that I see also can be applied within living the word discipline in my life would be focus, precision, responsible, purpose, and within this, I can apply myself until the task at hand is no longer something I need to discipline myself within, but comes with a natural expression of wanting to create within it through pushing limitations and expanding myself the best I am able to.

My purpose then would be self expansion within the principle of doing what is best for all in self honest living application, I am always moving myself toward pushing the limit of myself and my environments to bring in the functioning of living in our best abilities and doing what is best for all within this. And here some more words that are coming up is patience because as I walk this process of perfecting my discipline application in many areas, this will take a lot of patience as I go through the ups and downs and find my way within it. As well as the extension of myself into my environment as I support others to become more disciplined as I have learned, I too have to live patience in these scenarios as they walk their process of discipline as well. So I would always want to be supportive for not only myself, but any others I may touch and are interested in expanding themselves in living words as well such as with the word discipline.

Dictionary Definition:

Discipline –

1.      Noun – a system of rules or method of practice.

2.      Noun – a branch of knowledge.

3.      Noun – training to improve strength or self control.

4.      Noun – the trait of being well behaved.

5.      Noun – the act of punishing.

6.      Verb – develop behavior by instruction and practice; especially to teach self – control.

Word Play:

Discipline –

Distinguishing a plan -

Disc – I – planned

Here I am seeing that the redefined word is a way for me to have a plan in place for each scenario I arrive in where I am looking to change a habit or put in more self control to change my behavior to be that which does what is best. So I will make a list of points I want to practice discipline in and within this continue this practice as more points come up.

For the morning routine:

I have been testing this point for about a month now, and found that I am tripping up on waking up super early, what I am going to change within this point is wake up within the 4-6 hour range where I am getting enough rest for my body, but not allowing the mind to infiltrate and permeate more of mind and physical body as it was programmed to due. This to support my physical body and stop the mind from continuing. So this is a step one where I can start to implement discipline in my morning routine, wake up between 4-6 hours of sleep. Once I have walked this for a week, I will expand myself within this, because as I start to reprogram myself to a new behavior, I will then start to naturally become it and will not need as much discipline in place or self will because now it’ll be an extension of me as I live it. From there I can continue to use the application of living the word discipline as having a distinguished plan to expand myself within the waking up routine in a form of self creation, so we will see what is to come.

Thanks for reading!

More links to support:


Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
http://www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Self Supportive Material -
http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support:
http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DIPLite

21 Day Self Forgiveness Challenge - To Defend and Protect - Day 516

Day 3 -

I listened to an interview called Crucifixion of Jesus - Protection, Defense, and Fear tonight through eqafe which spoke about the underlying issues and mechanisms that one goes into when feeling attacked by another and trying to defend and protect ourselves. I could relate scenario and found a few areas of my life where I go into this mode. What was discussed in this interview was that when a person goes into this form of attacking another or in other words goes into a mode of defending and protecting themselves, somewhere within them they went into a fear that was triggered causing them to react in such a way. I can relate this to the fear that I experience within relationships I am in, and one of the major fears I see triggers me is the fear of my survival being threatened, like somehow or in someway the person/people triggering this experience within me has power over me and thus has power over if I will survive or not based on what is being said or done.

I realize obviously the only way I can be powerless in a situation or limited is if I accept and allow another to make me experience this, so here I will walk self forgiveness on this fear and see what corrections will needed to be implemented to take responsibility for myself and find ways to support with change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of self victimization when I am triggered by a words or words in my reality that trigger the fear of being abandoned and so where I will have to be alone and fend for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of self vicitimzation and blame toward another for triggering this experience within me of feeling like I can’t take care of myself or protect myself and so within that fear that I will be left and have to fend for myself and so possible die within this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone and on my own to have to survive because it is new to me and I believe I would not know what to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that within my living environment that there is many resources that I am able to use and gain support from within my life and also that I am resourceful within myself so if worst comes to worst, I do trust that I will be able to provide for myself and find ways of common sense resolutions to problems in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of fear within the thought or imagination that I may die, when I see, realize, and understand that death is a part of life and that within life there is no need or reason to fear as this will come, though what will define me is how I lived.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for the fear that is coming up within me as fear of death when I see, realize, and understand that I blame it on another and make it their problem.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that within what I have walked within my life that I am always responsible for my own reactions as fears and that within that there is a way of moving into a living word or a solution that’ll support with moving through the tougher points of fear as I see, realize, and understand that I don’t have to move with fear, but can move within common sense living in self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make it about the other person instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that it’s not about the other, but about who I am within myself and how I move into and as a point self responsibility and finding ways to live with myself and others in a way that is supportive and moves into solutions first and foremost.



I commit myself to walk self change within these moments of fear death through realizing that I am not in extreme danger and that I can resources solutions.

I commit myself to stop fear of death as it’s inevitable and live here in what is best as my life.

I commit myself to live what is best for all and stop fear in thought, word, and deed through breathing and moving into solutions that support with communication and understanding the other/situation with more depth and unity.

21 Day Self Forgiveness Challenge – Wanting Depth with my Partner – Day 515

Day 2-

Within myself I have always been a deep person, looking for and finding the truth of myself and this existence, I have been fascinated by this quest, pushing it and pushing myself to more and more depths, I thrive on this I would say. This is more a personal journey with myself, though with others, I have been seeing that there has been a desire to have such depth, to push for the meanings, the understandings, the realizations, and more of who we are together, though not all people are like me. Some are yes, though many that I have met aren’t and within this I have been struggling to feel satisfied with others and so only seek out those who support with this depth that I thrive off of. This has been especially coming up lately with my partner because we see things quite differently, it’s almost as though we see things in opposite ways, he tends to be more practical, scientific, and mathematical, where I am again looking for self introspection and realizations that will spring humanity into a new era of evolution and prosperity through this evolution of ourselves back to life here.

And it’s not to even say this is how it is, but this is more how I am seeing it at the moment, so within this relationship I am desiring this depth though it hasn’t manifested as of yet. I have been seeing that I am going into a frustration because of the two different ways we interpret and look at reality, so what I realized with a help of a friend is that every single relationship that we are in is unique unto themselves, there is no two that are the same and within this one can explore and create and express oneself in the uniqueness that is each one that we meet and interact with. This could be human, animal, or anything for that matter. I thought that was a very cool way of looking at it and supports with being here, living more real time and within this creating and expressing oneself based on the uniqueness of the moment rather then in the mind in comparison, wants, and backchat.

So I will do some self forgiveness on the desire to have depth in relationships and redefine the word unique to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a depth within relationships where I go into comparison of my relationship with myself and others, and create a negative or positive feeling based on the result of this comparison that effects the relationship within many aspects of the interaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want the depth of a relationship that I feel with some, but not see, realize, and understand that it took time and patience to get to a point where the relationship could be lived in such a way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within my life I need to have all my relationships have depth and introspection of life’s biggest questions to have a meaningful and substantial development with another, when I see, realize, and understand how limiting this is within my life and my relationships with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the energy of feeling good and excited when I meet someone who is deep and interesting and so go into a belief that ‘I like this person a lot’, when I see, realize, and understand that this is just based on a desire fulfilled and keeps me complacent in my life to not change and experience that which is outside my comfort zone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an emotion of anger and resentment when I am with another who is more interested in other subjects or things to do that don’t hold my interest and want to retreat and retract myself from the situation as fast as possible so I can go back to my comfort zone which is discovering depth and truth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow emotions such as anger and resentment toward another for being them, and not see, realize, and understand that this is actually limiting and diminishing my capacity of growth and expansion outside my comfort zones to new topics and doings that I would have never had access to otherwise.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like a person or not based on the feeling of excitement and goodness I go into when another peeks my interest of depth, as I see, realize, and understand that I am not directing myself within these relationships, but being moved by energy and dismissing beings equal to myself with equally something to share that is substantial and meaningful in whatever unique way is created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the uniqueness of each and every relationship I am in based on the very nature of life itself, it is always changing, ever expanding, and ever creating and within this one can expand and grow with and as life as one walks with others in their life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others based on this belief that I need depth and not see, realize, and understand everyone has meaning and everyone has a unique expression to share and learn from.

I commit myself to move into a uniqueness of each moment I am in, exploring the moment with another, expressing myself within depth and/or expression whenever it is here to express.

I commit myself to move myself into new opportunities and within my relationships to expand and grow in learning about others no matter who or how they live and seeing what we can walk together in what is best for all.

I commit myself to live unique which is walking without comparison with others and finding the individual expression that everyone I meet has to share and exploring and enjoying myself within these moments.

Self Supportive Material -
http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support:
http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
http://www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Eqafe Hangout: The Pace of Breath - What does this mean? - Day 513

In this hangout we are going to discuss the Kryon series - The Pace of Breath interview:

https://eqafe.com/p/the-pace-of-the-b...

We will be discussing how we often go into emotional overwhelming experiences, and where do these come from sometimes seemingly out of nowhere?

Also what parts of the mind are involved with emotional overwhelmingness experience?

What are the relationship dynamics going on within the body and mind interactions that cause such experiences of emotional overwhelmingness to occur and with such intensity?

What support is available within the interview and the hangout guests experiences of walking the desten-i-process to move themselves from a point of mind emotional overwhelmingness to self awareness in self empowerment?

What tools are available to support one to get out of the mind emotions and empower oneself to have self control?

For More Support on the Desteni I Process, please check out Links below:

Self Supportive Material - 

http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course - 

http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support: 

http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki: 

http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page: 

https://www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group: 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/journ... 

DIP Lite on Facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!

http://www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Automatic Behavior - How to Stop it from Limiting You - Day 512

What is behind the responses that become automatic, where it feels like we don't even think about what we are doing never mind actually consider if it is practical or best for us? What causes such a response and how can each one practice ways to become more responsive to one's environment in a way where we give direction that will support us to be better or best. Check out more in the audio recording. Thanks

Self Supportive Material - 
http://www.Eqafe.com 

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course - 
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com 

Forum support: 
http://forum.desteni.org 

Desteni Wiki: 
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page 

Eqafe Facebook Page: 
https://www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136... 

7 year journey to life Facebook group: 
https://www.facebook.com/groups/journ... 

DIP Lite on Facebook: 
https://www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
http://www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

The Outsider - Day 511

What has been overwhelming for most of my life is the feeling and experience of myself as someone who was different and didn't belong. Here my story as the outsider answering questions like:

How have i experienced being an outsider most of my life? Is it something I desired? What were the pros and cons of such an experience? How did I find ways to make it work and what was the benefit of this? These questions and more are discussed in this interesting story about a girl and her life as an outsider. Enjoy.

Self Supportive Material - 
http://www.Eqafe.com 

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course - 
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com 

Forum support: 
http://forum.desteni.org 

Desteni Wiki: 
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page 

Eqafe Facebook Page: 
https://www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136... 

7 year journey to life Facebook group: 
https://www.facebook.com/groups/journ... 

DIP Lite on Facebook: 
https://www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
http://www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Day 298 – Self Judgment – Is Comparison the root of all Evil?

What I have realized through excellent support within the series on eqafe, The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination – specifically in regards to walking through the dimensions of self judgment, and how in essence it is based on a point of bullying, punishing, and sabotage oneself through one’s own hand so to speak as thoughts, backchat, imaginations, pictures, and memories one participate in based on comparisons one has made and continues to exist within through out ones days and eventually one’s life. And so, I as self judgment through comparison define myself constantly and continuously through my external world through polarities based on my own self interest desires of wanting to be perfect for others, and so I stay trapped within the mind in abuse as there is no end to this because it’s impossible to fulfill as it is not real, it’s in my mind, and the mind and reality never match up.

Comparison is not a single event that one does and then just leaves from that moment to the next, it stays with you over time and through time, and you define and continue to redefine yourself from this external view of the mind as a comparison over and over and over again, seeming that it is a new scenario cause it is a new environment, but it’s the same pattern repeating in the mind.

Comparison is the root of all evil of self I found based on the nature of who one is within it, this for me has always been me against myself, not being satisfied with who I am in some parts and thus desiring to make these parts better through seeing what it look like and trying to change it to be that. But what is not realized within this on the surface is the amount of self judgment, anger, jealousy, and resentment is built because within the physical aspect I do not like for instance, I can never change, I mean I can’t reconstitute my physical body to be different shaped, different look, different position, it’s impossible, so I am fighting the impossible basically not realizing that this fight is and will continue to go no where. But I continue because there is that time where I am more, I do have a comparison where I am better, so then I feel good again about myself. It’s like an unconscious sleep walking cycle I have been living in, seeing myself powerless to stop this based on not realizing that there was another way, that is where desteni has stepped in and stepped up to show me how to correct these points and stay committed to do this.

Within the mind of the human, we like to create that which isn’t actually there in reality, but more often then not I define myself and determine who I am based on this conclusion of the results of my mind imaginations, and thus based on desires and not common sense, I search for this impossibility as perfection within the ideal picture I have created in my mind of this. Now I realize that the physical can and will never match up with my mind because the mind doesn’t and can not take physical reality into consideration. The mind is creating itself from memories as thoughts that are stored within the physical body, and uses this database of memories to define self to it’s own optimum outcome not in consideration of me as the self in equality, but in the interest of itself as an energy generator. The mind is after energy, and me as self judgment within the constant dueling of this judgment through comparison through jealousy, superiority, inferiority, and a whole host of other emotions and feelings that are activated within these scenarios in my world are fueling the mind continuously  And so the mind is gaining a lot of energy for it’s own generation of itself within and as the physical body, and all the while I as the life force within the physical body am living in misery and instability.

I realize I am doing this to myself, I am the being within the mind and within my body accepting and allowingto be directed by energy and desires, and thus seeing what I am doing to myself as the abuse to my body mentally and physically, and the abuse to others as anger outburst, jealousy, and arrogance. I am here to take responsibility for this pattern once and for all of comparison and self judgment, and thus use the tool of comparison for what is best for all in practical physical considerations, stopping making it about me, and use it for what it’s purpose is, compare what is here and find what is best.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Photo Source

Day 200 -Back to Basics - Giving What I Recieve

I am on day 200 in this journey of writing and walking my physical process of aligning my living to be one and equal with all life in everything that I do. This journey so far has taught me many things about myself that I did not know existed, like perseverance and self disciplin. I am grateful for this journey as it is a true opportunity for each being equal and one to all other beings in this existence to be free and become again who we are as life in equality. Living simple, back to basics, were life is not about what we have or what we can get, but who we are as beings and how we treat other life as beings in communion.

I have realized that life is not to be taken for granted and we have consciously and unconsciously been taking life for granted completely. Life though is equal and balanced, thus what goes around will come around, and you will get what you give, so thus the answer is in our dilemma within the current condition and state of this world, what is it that we give, what do I give life, is it equal to what I take? Do I give to others what they give to me in learning, understanding, help and assistance? Do I give back to nature what it gives to keep me living here? Do I give to others my time and attention in the detail of living in perfection in equality that is necessary for all life to be considered always? Am I giving my all in each moment? I immediately can say no, my taking does not equal my giving, and thus an imbalance has been created within my life and my living, which is my physical body and my lack of awareness of my world. I have many pains and aches within my body as with my mind there are many pains and sufferings as fears and insecurities, but who is the one creating this, who is the one not giving what I am taking and thus causing the imbalance within and without? Me of course.

Pain and discomfort is instability within the body, just like in nature, when there is instability, there is a point of discomfort within the flow of living. In the body, when the body is not in stability, the pain is here. So I am giving myself the opportunity here to give that which I receive, through this process of living self correction within respect and honor of who I am as life and everything else that exist here as well. When life is equal and balanced within this giving and taking within myself and thus within this world, life will cease to suffer, the discomforts will be gone as we are living in the balance of life, giving what we receive in the understanding that all life is me. Taking more then what I am giving will be only done within self interest and not respecting the flow of life, thus dis-ease will occur and my life and my world will be unstable.

So I will focus and walk this correction of stopping taking life for granted and brining myself into awareness that everything that is here is life, has an awareness unto itself, has senses, has experiences, and has a story so to speak, even the speck of sand on the ground, it is life and has been on a journey within itself that has to be considered by all to realize and see life is all that exist, we are all equal, a grain of sand is equal to a human being, because we are life. The core value is life and honoring and respecting this within everything that exists, if there is any point of separation in seeing one over another, then peace will never exist, we will always cause conflict, and we will end up annihalitating ourselves as we can see is happening as we speak. We don't live in equality, but ignorance and self interest. It’s up to each one, the journey being walked in these blogs is a tool to bring yourself back to life, back to equilibrium with the life that is here as you, back to awareness of this physical existence and everything within it that is living amongst us. We miss allot, more then I care to admit, but the path is here for me to walk, so I will keep walking until I am here aware of all as myself for real as equals.


For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Day 187 - Fear of Dying

For further perspective, reference the following blogs:

Day 179 – Introduction to My Anxiety – Part 1.1 - Fear of Being Exposed
Day 180 – Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Exposure Part 1.2 Day 181 - Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Being Seen in a Bad Light - Part 2.1
Day 182 – Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Being Seen in a Bad Light Part 2.2
Day 183 - Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Not Making It - Part 3.1
Day 184 – Introduction to My Anxiety – Fear of Not Making It – Part 3.2
Day 186 – How to Stop the Fear of Failure

Within looking at this fear, the fearing of death, I see it is as a fear of facing the consequence of myself and this world as a whole, in death I realize there is no escape to who I have become and what I have contributed to this world, if anything significant  and this I find I resist. Within this realization, I fear death because I fear losing my chance to correct myself, fear that I will not be able to get my process done in the physical and have to do it from the dimensions, and a fear of missing out in life and getting an equal world and system in place. So I see this as a fear of facing the consequence of myself within my physical individual process as well as facing myself within the world system and the world existential process, and will I be able to get everything done before this final absolute point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own self existence in where I go into a petrification of myself within my mind in the thoughts and imaginations I create of what could happen or what might happen in death rather then being here and stable within myself and my living into a breath movement of self stability in the physical. I realize and understand within myself that when I allow my mind to wander and thus I allow this fear of myself and what is to come consume me I will accumulate and accumulate this fear energy into more and more energy as petrification where more and more thoughts come up to fuel these fears and thus I go into a constriction to not being able to even move and express within a stable point in my world and living.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of fear of myself and thus go into the mind and start imagining what will be at death, I stop and breath, and focus on my breathing letting go of the thoughts unconditionally and not allowing myself to fuel them. I also commit to breath through the fear of what may come of myself and focus on what I am physically doing in this present moment, focus on what is here, and only work with what is here as that is all that is here and real, and thus I work within reality, using common sense and my physical application to walk myself into equality with all life as solutions that are best for all and best for this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into these thoughts of what will happen to me and what will come of me at death, and thus create a fear within this where I fear facing who I have become within a point of self judgment, and thus allowing myself to sabotage my process in this moment due to fear and self judgment of who I am being within a process that is here and being walked and can not be judgedbecause it is what it is. I realize that judging myself and thus allowing fears to direct me into fearing death and within this not allowing myself to move, I will compromise myself and not allow myself to really progress and move within my process to get what is needed done and correct this point of fear.

I commit myself to when these fears come up and I go into my mind, and then create and fuel this fear of death with sabotaging myself through self judgment, I stop and breath, and do not accept and allow myself to go into this fear and self judgment by focusing on what is real through my movement and focus on my physical body by breathing, staying in breath, and staying physically active.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what is to come once I am dead and that I fear this point of the unknown and thus accept ideas in my head of what might happen, and thus I go into the worst case scenarios which fuel this fear in my mind. I realize that participating within this fear, I will accumulate and exist within fear not being able to move, and so I realize I have to stop the ideas and projections of worst-case scenarios, and focus on what is here.

I commit myself to when and as I go into this fear and ideas, I stop and breath, and push myself to commit to walking in breath, not looking into the future or the pas, but remaining here in the physical. Self forgiving that which is not aligned with what is here in breath in the physical, and walk the correction so I am stable and not allowing fears as ideas of worst case to direct me as this is not real and not practical in finding solutions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what is within me and fear facing this eventually in death, showing I am fearing it facing it here in the physical sabotaging my process due to fear od what I am. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what is within me as bad as I realize it is not to be judged or condemned but realize it’s me and change it to align to what is best.

I commit myself to stop the fear of facing myself, and thus walk my process in each moment, directing myself and not allowing fear to influence me into inaction. I stop judging this fear as bad or myself as bad, and accept me by walking here in the physical and accepting what is here, and breathing and living with no judgments but equality with all and solutions in what is best for all.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Day 184 – Introduction to My Anxiety – Fear of Not Making It – Part 3.2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not making it in this world due to the belief that who I am is not good enough or capable enough to live what it takes to become successful in this system. I realize that within this belief that I am not good enough, I am sabotaging myself within my starting point when walking this point of anything I am doing, and will not become my fullest potential because I am notseeing myself at the optimum I can be which is in equality with others.

I commit myself to when and as I go into this belief of seeing myself less then others and thus living this out in my actions of not going for things full out, I stop and breath, and do not accept myself to live into this point of self sabotage by doing things full out in the best I can and not participating in the thoughts that say I can’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of self sabotage within believing that I am not good enough compared to other people and thus accepted this fear of that I am not going to make it, because I am basing myself in comparison with the ideas I have in my head of what it takes to make it. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed pictures of successful people in business suits with nice and fancies clothes, cars and gadgets that look very proper and done up, and within myself believe that I can never be this way because I don’t see myself keeping everything together as I don’t have the patience’s to do so. I realize that within this point of judging a picture as more then me and then comparing myself to these people in the external world that fit this picture, I am creating the platform for self sabotage as I can’t compete with a picture in my mind I am holding as the standard of what success is as this is not real success put only living into imagination as the mind, and never truly living my own success within my own living in my own physical doing. I also realize that within this point of patience’s it is to practice and become consistent within the patience with myself to learn and thus physically practice and become proficient within a point of study so I can realize how to do something within understanding within each detail and each step that it will take, so thus embrace patience’s within and as my own self doing and living, and stop the rush to get things done within a heist of what others may or will think.

I commit myself to when and as I go into this desire to be successful and go into my mind to see what successful is through pictures and thus then go and compare myself to others who fit this picture and see myself as less then this because I don’t have enough patience to be successful, I stop and breath, and re-align myself with myself through physical movement. I stop my participation in ideas about what is success through pictures of people in my mind, so then to stop the judging of myself by not accepting myself to compare myself to others. Here I commit to find my own pace of becoming successful in my living in what it is I am doing in each moment, and learn and become educated in the fields that is necessary to help me understand and become more expanded within what it is I am interested in. I realize and commit to push myself to walk each step it will take to get the task done that are necessary to be done to get greater understanding in what I am looking and studying in to thus then become successful by applying what I understand to my living and so I can help others do the same and help myself be more aware of what it is I am living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not making it and failing in life when I realize and see what is necessary to be done, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this fear in my mind because I am only looking within the point of my own self interest in not having this perfect picture of happiness in my mind, and thus judging all the points in my head that I find that are not aligning with this point as I am looking at things to be a certain way and expect it to go this way, but realize that this is not possible nor the way life is, so I stop and let go of this belief that happiness is a picture I have to live into, and start living within each and every moment that is here with no expectation of what is to come.

I commit myself to when and as I go into self interest in a point of desiring to have this point of happiness in my life, I stop and breath, and do not accept the fear that will come with this desire, by stopping both from directing me. I commit myself to live in breath, live in what it is I am doing each and every day, and commit myself to walk step by step into what is best for all within what I can do to bring this about, it’s not about the success of me in this life, but of all life and what I can do to help bring this about. I commit to let go of this desire to be happy in my world, and push myself to expand myself and grow in what it is I am living so I don’t allow any point of resistance or fear to hold me back realizing I am here in the physical and thus I use common sense to walk the process to my success as life in oneness and equality with all other life.

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Day 183 - Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Not Making It - Part 3.1

This fear is one of the strongest fears or more intense fears that comes up within me, this being the fear of not making it, within this, it can be seen as a fear of failing and not getting to enjoy life. Not that life is actually really enjoyable as there is so much suffering and hell being faced by so many currently, but still within this there is this inherint fear of not surviving. I feel this fear most with money and bills, I am currently in a transition period were my money situation and my security in the future is not certain or known, meaning I don’t have something definitive to show me where I am going to be and that I will absolutely be able to pay for everything. I really fear being not able to have money and thus this fear of not making it in life, so this showing the enslaved power money has over life as we have chose greed over giving all what is best in equality.

I have to face this fear as all do and realize that this fear is not me, is not real life, we don’t have to exist in fear, it is our choice and thus our creation that we have created such a way of life. This due to the ability of some having enough and others not having enough, and thus creating a platform of fear because the support is not a guarantee for all to have life, some will automatically suffer, and thus fear will ensue. We don't also recognize that those that have enough, will still be in great fear as they fear that they will lose this enough, and end up where they see there fellow human beings are at with nothing and in fear of death. Inherently we all realize that all need to be supported with the necessary conditions to sustain a decent life, but we allow self interest to direct our way of living and thus allow some to go without, creating a world of fear rather then a world of peace where all life is supported equally. We have thus been the creators of our own destiny as we live throughout the ages in this world, it's now time to take responsibility for myself as this fear, face it through writing and my living, and stop it from direct me and so I can come to common sense solutions in full awareness of myself as all life, and be a part of a solution that will support all life.

Within my own process, I am allowing this fear to haunt me into not being able to move myself and becoming in a state of helplessness, where I am going into blame towards everyone else around me not looking at the creator of this fear in my life, which of course is me. I find I tend to immediately go into a panic and always fear the worst is going to happen, and go into my mind and really make myself fear with thoughts of what could happen. This obviously is creating the intensity and anxiety within me, when if I was here and clear, I would be stable as I am creating it. I find usually the point is blown out of proportion and taken out of context, which when I let the mind direct me this will be the result, as the mind works on energy and the fear and my participation in it is generating energy for the mind. Also, I find a big point that I participate in and that increases the intensity of the fear is allowing myself to go into future projection as well as delve in the past happenings and allowing points to re occur and be recreated in my mind, creating illusions and living as if these are real.

Its important to always stay focused in my process that these points are not real, the fear, the energy, the thoughts and emotions, and that I am making them up. And so, the best way to stay stable and in reality is to stop the mind as the thoughts as fears, pictures, projections, and stay in the physical - stay in breath, and don’t allow the mind to wonder. It’s controlling the mind as self and directing it into reality, this takes self discipline and self will and will solve or thus enhance this issue with fear of not making it in my world, I always decide.


For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki