Anger towards parents Sf - Day 18

 Anger towards my parents 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become angry at my parents for having me and in this I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for the decisions i have made in my life causing me to have hardship and failure, relieving stress and pain through blame and anger as energy releases through this blame and anger, but i see, realize, and understand it does not stop the anger/blame and thus conflict, but only perpetuates it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately blame and become angry at my parents because they brought me in this world and so in this i become spiteful toward them because i myself do not want to take responsibility for the messes in my life i have created and so say things like 'i wish you did not have me' to my parents where i want them to suffer as i believe i have for them bringing me into this world. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame and so abdicate my responsibility for the choices and decisions i made to get me into a point of pain where i myself see, realize, and understand brought me to this point, and that i can not blame others outside myself as i understand i am the one walking my own life, i am the one making the decisions and have the self power to do what is self honest in the moment or not.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to praise my parents when it suits me to where i feel empowered based on ego desires that are giving me a sense of accomplishment or pride based on family/parent accomplishments, where in a  desire to be seen in a positive light and o see my parents/family in a positive light as this makes me feel worthy/important and thus i receive the energy of goodness without having to actually create it as myself where i actually live in a way that is worthy of life and prideful in myself for walking the self honest path that is best for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in this anger and blame move into hate where i grow a form of hatred toward my parents for not securing my path in this world and guaranteeing success, when i see, realize, and understand practically my parents did the best they could with what they had and what they new of in the space and time they were in.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see my parents as the reason for my flaws/failures instead of taking responsibility for these failures/flaws and working with changing them, processing them in practical self change to make them become stronger as this is practically what can be done with what is here and that my parents are not able to change anything for me, i realize, see, and understand i can only change these points of weaknesses myself. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my parents for their flaws/failures and see them as less then others/me based on these points, and i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my parents where i see them as the root of my failure as i came from them instead of recognize the gift i was given in this life as life and what they did to keep me alive, and secure to have a life and have the ability to walk my process and opportunity to create here.

When and as i see myself going into the desire to think thought patterns about how i am disturbed by my parents, i stop and breath, and go into humbleness and gratefulness for them doing their best with what they had and giving me what they could for me to have a secure platform to live my life from and create with opportunity. I commit myself to stop going into thoughts about my parents, breathe, and live the word self responsibility and self movement where i start moving myself physically to make my flaws such as addictions into self discipline and become stronger in these.

I commit myself to stop judging my parents and stand in their shoes to see where they are at, and support them to be there best self as how i would like if i was in their shoes, i commit myself to see my parents as equals, and walk in oneness as i correct myself first and stop abdicating my responsibility to energy and the mind. I commit myself to live the word humbleness as i see i am also flawed and have weaknesses like all, and so i am an equal as i also am not perfect, thus i work with my own self perfection as one and equal as all life. 

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Peace be with Self - Day 544

Usually the saying goes within the system, specifically religious systems in this world is ‘peace be with you’, this though is not accurate as what the saying should read is ‘peace be with self’, the I of who I am. This based on the principle of who you are is what you will create, so if each one live this word peace within self, then this will then resonate and start to be created within this world as it will start to effect and influence who you are within your living. So you will be able to give peace as you live it rather then in a way ‘hoping’ another person get’s it with the saying ‘peace be with you’. You can create it in your living.

So peace be with self is something I am practicing living at this moment, it is a powerful and empowering word I have found to live as it has the effect if applied to calm the waters so to speak of my inner being, my inner self in a moment. It’s been supportive as sometimes I can become emotional and within that emotion can become overwhelmed within the energy of it, though what I have been practicing in this moment is to stand within myself and speak the words peace as a directive for me to live. Once I speak this word peace, my whole body releases, like an out breath of my whole body and I become ‘at ease’ so to speak, calm, and what I have found it’s in a way seems as if I step back within myself and settle within the body more deeply or more grounded in a way, like in a way it seems as if i sink into the body more causing this supportive effect of the words lived such as I am here, I am ok, I am able to observe and look again, see what I can see, and take another attempt at finding a solution for what ever it is that is bothering me or making me overwhelmed. So this is one application of this word I am currently applying as a support to release from an energy ‘possession’ in a moment to help settle and become at ease.

I have been looking at the word itself ‘peace’ as I like to find and see what is within the words, the letters, and here what I found was ‘patiences emerging as grace’, I have also redefined the word patiences to be ‘pay attention to the essences (life)’ of another and self, and grace as ‘grateful pace’, so walking at a pace in life that is of gratefulness in considering all that is here and become aware of what I have as my life and opportunity that is here for the living. So I like to play with words to understand myself within them in a way to support myself to get a reference of how to see the word in order to live it and practice this in my everyday life.

This word play of the word peace, I have just today looked at and wrote about so I have not yet tested the living of this word as i stated, ‘patiences emerging as grace’ though I can see within the potential of this application to support with emerging in a peaceful and more wholesome way of living in my everyday enviroment with others. One of the greatest gifts that is emerging in my personal process as of late is my growing awareness and understanding of others beyond my own reactions of them, so through working with and releasing my systematic reactions to others such as emotions like anger, judgment, embarrassment, I am more moving into living words such as gratefulness, grace, consideration, care, understanding, and through this I am starting to connect with people more on a real and substantial level. This I have not yet in my life been able to do, well maybe when i was a child, but since about 12 years old and on I have been very much trapped in insecurity and shyness where i had almost become retarded in my ability to socialize and function normally with others. So this has been quite a process and ability I have developed for myself and this is just the beginning, which is awesome.

What I have been realizing as I have been slowing down and practicing these living words such as peace, grace, patiences, understanding, and others is the absolute magnificence that exists here as our natural everyday life, it’s in a way missed because we are so much in our minds, thinking about this and that, that and this, speedy, busy, what is missed is the actual detail of our natural environments. The way the moon looks, the way the tree bark looks on the trees and the different shapes and kinds of trees that I visit every single morning with my dogs, my dogs expression as they sniff and express themselves from one spot to the next, the smile that my neighbor shows as she exits her front door in a delight of the fresh air and sun, and living the word peace where I become patience emerging as a grace, I become grateful for what is here because I become more aware and in tune with the life that is existing here, and there is so much! Everything is in a way alive and fascinating yet so simple. There is so much that is going on here and when I am in a state of peace as I practice this word in, I am seeing more and more of me here, my awareness and my ability to respond to life in a way of gratefulness and joy for the gift that it is.

Thanks for reading.

For more on how to walk the process of becoming physical and doing what is best, check out the links below.

Earth Haven - Sustainable Living Environments -
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Self Supportive Material -
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Forum support:
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Desteni Wiki:
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Eqafe Facebook Page:
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7 year journey to life Facebook group:
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Self Commitment Journal - Morning Routine - Day 520

I have been walking a process on the desteni forum on committing myself to waking up in the morning early and in those few hours before work or the start of the day, I instead of sleep become productive. I walk my ups and downs, and what realizations and change implementations I am using to walk this commitment into a living reality for myself. I will post the link here, and if you are inclined can check it out and hope to give support to anyone also facing this point in their lives. Thanks

Self Commitment Journal - Morning Routine 

Sites that are helpful:

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
http://www.schoolofultimateliving.com/


Self Supportive Material -
http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support:
http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Embracing Change - Day 488

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In a very short time my life’s direction has the potential to change and is going to change quite drastically. At work, the person above me unfortunately passed away suddenly where I am as well as many others faced with filling the responsibility this being stood as. So it’s purely based on circumstances and initial positions that each one was in before this event happened, and now as I speak personally, I have to become more effective, more disciplined, more skillful, and embrace this change to operate in the best of my ability. I don’t necessarily want this position I am in though I am grateful as this will challenge me in ways that I haven’t yet had the opportunity to face.

I have in the past faced this point in a smaller scale so I realize I do have the capability to do it, what is different now is that I am more responsible and essentially standing in a leadershipisque role, which brings up fears and anxieties within me. I see these fears activate right as I open my eyes in the morning, a deep experience of dread washes over me and it seems like the world is going to shit and that I am heading for doom as I move into the unknown. So I have been practice waking up in self forgiveness and moving myself through that experience because I see that it’s not real and that it doesn’t in fact determine what and how my day will go, I determine that. I realize if I stay in that energy and allow it to fester by participating in it, it does over take me and possess me, so being self aware in those first moments as I wake up is important to move into a productive day as I direct it rather then a destructive day in energy and thoughts that are compromising.

I am feeling this dread point come up more and more and also within this I am seeing this experience of ego coming up, so there is a seesaw happening where I am moving from absolute fear and dread to wanting to be better then others and be noticed by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of self victimization based on this feeling of dread and fear come up within me when I participate in thoughts such as ‘I am going to die’ or ‘I am going to miss my opportunity to become life’ or ‘I am going to fail at my mission with my business’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the fear energy where I participate in it as it moves from my stomach area up into my chest, filling it up into my head, and then allow the thoughts to overwhelm me where I move away form people and isolate myself as insecure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have this experience of overwhelming dread come over me as I accept and allow myself to participate in the thoughts of dread and fear and death and not move into my physical breath here and move into physical action so I can stand through this energy and move myself with physical deliberateness and live my change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear that I will not make it in my business or I will die before I get a chance to do what I want to do here and not see, realize, and understand that I am committed to walking my process and have shown steadfastness within this venture.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself as I accept and allow these thoughts to come over me that I am going to experience dread instead of moving into a point of physical movement, self change, and living words that will support me to live action that will be best with life instead of restricting myself and going into the energy possession of fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compensate with this insecurity feeling to become more pushy and aggressive where I am showing my strength as ego and becoming more rude within my behavior so I can show I am strong and in charge when in reality I am isolating myself form the solution and harming others through my words and behavior through and as aggression energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become insecure within myself and so feel like I have to compensate by being superior on the external reality.

I commit myself to in the mornings take a breath, do self forgiveness on the points that are here, and move through it by living the word excitement as a moving with more physical energy and smiling as I move.

I commit myself to say ‘I am going to have a productive day where I check off the tasks on my list with joy’.

I commit myself to live the word joy by being spontaneous with others throughout my day and communicating this with words of support and encouragement to live what’s best for all.

I commit myself to let go of the ego by humbling myself to others and see myself in them as I am them and source what I can learn from them so I can grow and share with them so they can equally benefit.

I commit myself to live the word growth as I learn from others and ask questions to investigate the points at work I will need to understand with a passion and vigor to do the best I can do.


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Equal Life Foundation - Site

Why are Words Important and What Do they Imply?– Day 327

Words, I have recently realized the importance of words within our lives and our living environments. We use words all the time, it’s how we communicate who we are and our expressions with others. I am currently on the desteni farm and words is very much emphasized within how we live them and speak them within our starting point of when we use them. Words have a directive principle within and as them that ripples within the receiver of the words and beyond that as the receiver will integrate the word and then from there it will travel from person to person through the process of communication and perception. Words though within how we speak them now are based on many energy charges such as the emotional or feeling connections we can put to words. For example, the word food, there is a point we can all define this word as within our own individual worlds, such as “food is so good”, “I enjoy exploring different versions of food”. Or another person can see food as a problem and have a negative relationship to food that creates a resistance to it. But within the purpose and meaning of the word food, it's direct physical purpose, it’s a point of giving the physical body nourishment to live.

So we don’t much look at our meanings to words and what attachments are connected to the words we use, which is quite strange because these words can cause so many problems, conflicts, and fights and do in our worlds. This happening when one person communicating to another person has different meanings, experiences, and associations attached to the word they use that will be different from what the other person receiving the words experience, associate and give meaning to, which will create a point of misunderstanding and misdirection within the two communicating for instance. This often can happen in relationship scenarios where the partners can often misinterpret the meaning of a word or hold a different definition to the place holder of the word in there mind that is different to the partner speaking, and because there is no communication between the two about re-defining words and making them a directive decision from both partners cooperation, their will be always miscommunication cause essentially the two of you from even one word are coming from two different worlds of meaning that will cause resistances and friction within the communication and thus the living of you two together.

So it’s interesting that we have not seen this simple solution within our world of creating universal meanings for words within which we live that are agreed upon, but this can be done starting within a partnership with another. It will take time, dedication, and much discussion to come to a direct agreeable meaning to a word, but there is a process being developed and can be applied within the Agreement Course and Desteni I Process courses that will be of great value for you if you see the importance of how words define who we are and direct our worlds.

There are methods developed through the courses mentioned above that redefine words to be established and created to be able to live the words here in reality in their direct practical purpose, and stop the past attachments and energy charges to the words we use within our world from directing us and controlling the way we feel about them. We use self forgiveness and self corrective statements to be able to clear these meanings within ourselves of the words we use, and walk the correction of the definition of the word in a practical sense that will be best for all.

Here is a blog series I did for more context on the process of redefining the word Loser:

Day 265 – What Does Being A Loser Imply? Behind Words

Day 266 – What Does the Word Loser Imply? – Self Forgiveness 

Day 267 – What Does the Word Loser Imply? – Self Corrections to Live 
Day 268 – Redefining the Word Loser

Words are not feelings nor emotional, but simply ways for us to communicate who we are to the world around us. There is a lot that will be able to be communicated with a lot more effectiveness if we use our words within a purpose of direct understanding of the meanings of things and cut out all the mind attachments that are really not necessary and create more friction then resolves it.

Living words to there direct relationship within a understood collective decision that will create the space for learning and expansion of ourselves as human beings and will be the correction process to see direct and live direct within reality and what is really happening in each moment. Living words breath by breath is the best form of living because you are not basing any point of your life or your living on assumption, past, future reference, or pictures and associations, but through living knowledge you have acquired through the direct relationship of what the word mean that all understand and can live by. It will create much more simplistic living and communication, and will give us much more time to start to build our world with a foundation of solidity because the words we use, which build the foundation for the world we will create is based on what is real and what is best for all through universal understanding and respect that all are able to understand what is being said.

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