So this past week I was in a situation where I was
forced to push through my limitations, this for all intense and purposes is a
very cool experience and one I welcome as it births growth of self. This
experience I was having to directly speak to people I had never seen or spoken
to before about a business venture that I am currently pursuing. For me
speaking to people face to face has always been something I avoided especially
people I did not know. I experience within myself anxiety, fears, and also
memories of being embarrassed in the past of moments where it didn’t go as
expected. So as I approached this event, my mind started to bring up these very
familiar emotions along with the thoughts and memories of failure and dread and
what ifs, so this all comes up as the event draws closer. In the past, I would
always find distractions or simply would not put myself out there because at
that time I had no tools to support me to move beyond these very intense and
uncomfortable emotional experiences going on inside of me, I just allowed these
thoughts and emotions to overwhelm me. When I did face these situations of
having to speak and direct conversations into a specific way, I would get
overwhelmed and allow the experience to overwhelm me and perform less then
ideally, where I would never go beyond my limitations, but inevitably
compromise my true potential.
Here I will start with self forgiveness and self correction statements on some
points that came up through the two day event that I say was part of this ‘self-compromise’
character I go into, so I can find the ways where I can support myself in those
moments, and change to be the best potential I can be. Because why not? I
realize that there is no one stopping me, but myself, and I have the drive to
succeed and become the true potential that I am capable of.
There was one moment where a person compared me to my
partner and not in words, but in my interpretation of what he was saying. I
interpreted it as him saying that I was not worth being teamed up with because
I was not doing well within my sales pitch. Now, this is the way in which I
interpreted his words, his gestures, his physical presence, and many other
subtle factors, but this is not in fact what actually was going on as I don’t
know what he meant by his words. I never asked directly to know and I also
never introspected the moment to see where I compromised myself or sabotaged
myself. As it’s important to remember and focus on for myself when pushing
through limitations is that no one outside of you can define you and/or has
power over you, you are the direct principle within yourself, and so any point
that doesn’t go well or you preform less then ideal, you can remediate this
through writing for instance, and find the correction to walk in future moments
with. This for me is key to understand and implement into my living, as I would
have used this moment of interpretation to sabotage myself and not approach
others due to fear of the same experience happening again. This I did not do,
but before I go there I will walk the self forgiveness and self correction to
this point.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
create a belief about myself through another persons gestures, communication
style, eye movements, and judgments I have made that I am being seen as not as
important or good as another person I am working with and so judge myself as
less then others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through
external factors direct my living into self compromise by myself creating a judgment
that I am less then others, when I realize, see, and understand that the
external does not define me nor does it create who I am, I do this within my
own living and what I do in these moments.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe my mind when I see it within me saying that I am being judged as
inferior and being seen as not worth being within in terms of being part of a
team.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
project my own fears and judgments against myself onto the external world in
where I can abdicate responsibility to change and blame it on this man who I interpreted
as judging me in this way.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
abdicate responsibility to my own judgments and my own thoughts and blame it on
external factors based on the idea that I am not strong enough to change and
that I will fail.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
create a belief of myself that I am not strong enough to face my mind within my
judgments of myself and that I will fail at attempts to change myself in my
living.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
judge and inferiorize myself with others and make my living be in accordance
with what my mind is doing within each moment instead of stopping my mind in
the moment, and directing myself within common sense and self honesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
compare myself to others within the event and see myself as doing not as well
as others, and believing this is showing that I am not as good as others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
create these thoughts within myself that I am not as good as others based on a
in the moment judgment of myself not taking into consideration the context of
the situation and that each one is in their own process walking themselves into
stability, and this walk is different for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
compromise the rest of that day’s event where I was in my mind judging myself
and projecting anger and blame to this man, when within myself I could have
taken responsibility, changed myself in the moment, and walked the tools that
were necessary in self honesty to be change my living to be best for me and
best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
exist in the mind in that day’s event and miss opportunities to move myself
here in the moment into real time self change.
When and as I see I am going into my backchat and judging
myself about who I am in that moment in a specific situation, I stop and
breath, and realize that these judgments and backchat thoughts will come out as
projections and blame in my physical reality, and so compromise my living and
who I can be with others to be less then my utmost potential.
So I commit myself to in the moment I see I am going into backchat thoughts of judgment
towards myself or others, I stop and change in the moment to be physical and
write on the point as soon as I am able to to direct the point and ground it
into change for myself.
I commit myself to stop the judgments of myself in my mind
before a big event and correct myself into grounding myself through breathing
and self forgiveness and self correction.
I commit myself to stop comparing myself with others in the
moment and find where I can learn from others.
I commit myself to breath and move myself in the moment in a
way that pushes my self expression here as I breath with no thoughts.
I commit to stop my thoughts and judgments, and accept all
as myself and walk what is best for all.
I will continue on with my realizations and writing on this
work event in my next blog, thanks for reading.
Interview Support on the topic of moving through Fears:
You Will Never Let Go - Quantum Mind Self Awareness
Can't Let Go: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 229
Can't Let Go: Transform Your Memories - Atlanteans - Part 230
Can't Let Go: Giving Up - Atlanteans - Part 231
Can't Let Go: Traumatic Memories - Atlanteans - Part 232
Can't Let Go: One-Dimensional Memories - Atlanteans - Part 233
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