Anger towards parents Sf - Day 18

 Anger towards my parents 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become angry at my parents for having me and in this I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for the decisions i have made in my life causing me to have hardship and failure, relieving stress and pain through blame and anger as energy releases through this blame and anger, but i see, realize, and understand it does not stop the anger/blame and thus conflict, but only perpetuates it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately blame and become angry at my parents because they brought me in this world and so in this i become spiteful toward them because i myself do not want to take responsibility for the messes in my life i have created and so say things like 'i wish you did not have me' to my parents where i want them to suffer as i believe i have for them bringing me into this world. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame and so abdicate my responsibility for the choices and decisions i made to get me into a point of pain where i myself see, realize, and understand brought me to this point, and that i can not blame others outside myself as i understand i am the one walking my own life, i am the one making the decisions and have the self power to do what is self honest in the moment or not.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to praise my parents when it suits me to where i feel empowered based on ego desires that are giving me a sense of accomplishment or pride based on family/parent accomplishments, where in a  desire to be seen in a positive light and o see my parents/family in a positive light as this makes me feel worthy/important and thus i receive the energy of goodness without having to actually create it as myself where i actually live in a way that is worthy of life and prideful in myself for walking the self honest path that is best for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in this anger and blame move into hate where i grow a form of hatred toward my parents for not securing my path in this world and guaranteeing success, when i see, realize, and understand practically my parents did the best they could with what they had and what they new of in the space and time they were in.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see my parents as the reason for my flaws/failures instead of taking responsibility for these failures/flaws and working with changing them, processing them in practical self change to make them become stronger as this is practically what can be done with what is here and that my parents are not able to change anything for me, i realize, see, and understand i can only change these points of weaknesses myself. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my parents for their flaws/failures and see them as less then others/me based on these points, and i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my parents where i see them as the root of my failure as i came from them instead of recognize the gift i was given in this life as life and what they did to keep me alive, and secure to have a life and have the ability to walk my process and opportunity to create here.

When and as i see myself going into the desire to think thought patterns about how i am disturbed by my parents, i stop and breath, and go into humbleness and gratefulness for them doing their best with what they had and giving me what they could for me to have a secure platform to live my life from and create with opportunity. I commit myself to stop going into thoughts about my parents, breathe, and live the word self responsibility and self movement where i start moving myself physically to make my flaws such as addictions into self discipline and become stronger in these.

I commit myself to stop judging my parents and stand in their shoes to see where they are at, and support them to be there best self as how i would like if i was in their shoes, i commit myself to see my parents as equals, and walk in oneness as i correct myself first and stop abdicating my responsibility to energy and the mind. I commit myself to live the word humbleness as i see i am also flawed and have weaknesses like all, and so i am an equal as i also am not perfect, thus i work with my own self perfection as one and equal as all life. 

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Day 82- Men are Strong, Women are Weak Part 1- Self Commitment Statements

Walking the Self Commitment statements from the blog called Day 79- Men are Strong, Women are Weak - Part 1 to help support myself to stop the playout of living into a polarity within myself of fighting with myself where I try to be strong as what I desire and thus becoming more like a 'man', but living who I am physically as a 'female' and thus limiting myself within the confines of all these labels within and as what they hold behind it. Here I walk my correction, and thus will continue to open this point up more in later blogs.

Self Correction:

I commit myself stop participating within and as the polarity play out that men are to be strong and are more strong then females, and thus I commit to stop defining women weaker then males based on my memories of childhood of how my parents were and thus defining myself by the playout of the male/female dynamic as the strength of the family backbone by the male and the gentleness/weakness of the mothers care.

I commit myself to stop define strength within ones physical body and how one carries themselves in terms of if they are aggressive or not.

I commit myself to stop defining aggressive and forceful behavior as a strength and I commit to stop defining it as masculine trait.

I commit myself to stand one and equal with each being no matter who one is nor what gender one is and realize that they are not defined by the sex of them or by their expression but simply here to walk and live in what is here to walk and live in oneness and equality in what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop defining men within a superiority point in comparison to women based on the media and my perception of what I see within the outlets of this world as I realize and see that life is equal and thus we as defining ourselves as gender have got to equalize ourselves to walk in fact one with all life.

I commit myself to walk with all life here in oneness and equality and stop my ideas and perception of what men should be as strong based on the points played in society such as men are strong, and stand within myself  as life in real strength which is living equal with all in the ways and means of bringing about a world that is best for all.

I commit to stop define life by our gender roles.

I commit myself to stop defining men by my idea of them as strong and walk as equal as who we are here also in practical solutions.

I commit myself to stop pushing myself to be like a male as I stop my idea that to succeed in this world you have to be strong and thus I stop pushing to be more masculine to try and show that I am strong.

I commit to live my expression in breath as who I am and stop my projections from my ideas of who I am from the illusions that is mind and past.

I commit to stop competing with other life to show I am strong and thus become humble and push to walk in equality.

I commit myself to stop the idea that I must win to be the best and thus push to be strong physically to attain this through sports.

I commit to stop living in to the polarity playout of strong/weak and stop judging men and women by this limitation and stand equal in freedom through stop the thoughts of separation.

I commit to stop judging and having ideas about the physical and thus walk here in oneness with all life as who we are as the physical itself no judgment just acceptance as life.



men, women, stopping fighting, conflict resolution, living equal, family, family dynamics, mother, father, siblings, head of household, nurturer, equality, equal life, journey to life, desteni, 2012

Day 79-Men are Strong, Women are Weak Part 1

Looking at this point that came up within speaking my vlog tonight about the point of me and judging myself as not being feminine enough as a women. I see within myself I have created an idea since childhood that women are weak and men are strong, so thus lived into this point of being more masculine/male because I desired to be strong and seen as strong as I was a competitor and wanted to be seen as the best within all I did thus I had to be the best and thus I saw I had to create myself more as a male. Within myself however, I have an inclination to be more masculine in terms of my expression, so I am this within my natural expression, but will not and do not limit myself by any sort of definition of how man and women should be or define ourselves by, but simply live in how we see that we would like to express and be free to express in this way equal and one to all in what is best for all life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to from my childhood create an idea that men are stronger then women based on the way my parents were within their relationship where I saw my dad was more dominant and was the final say in terms of the decisions of the family, and my mom was more the one who was the care taker and had a say, but not like my dad who was more forceful and dominant then my mom. I realize and see within holding on to this idea of my parents as strong and weak in terms of the layout of their relationship and the dynamics of our family structure that it was based on the structure of the family system in society of how men were seen and pushed to be the strong and heads of the household and thus seen in a more of an authoritative and dominant place within this world/society/family and is not what is real as I realize what is real is that we are equal and have equal responsibility to create whats here in all facets of life to be best for all and not separate ourselves into gender roles as strong/weak based on society standards/traditions.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hold onto the idea that because of what my dad was like growing up as dominant/strong/a decisive force in my life I assumed and associated this is what all men were and that they within themselves are the ones who are able to take on more of a leadership role and do the points within the physical that take strength and are challenging, were I identified myself and related to my dad within this because within myself I had the desire to be in this way as well, strong physically and capable physically to handle and do what is necessary to be done to get things moving and solve problems. I related to my dad and thus became more infatuated with him were I saw him as a 'god'head and that he is the one that is the best in my family because he is strong and I saw that he can do anything, he was able to always fix things and answer all my questions that I came up with, and thus grew more of an infinity to him and grew a desire to be like him because of the power I saw he held within the role he played in the family. I realize and understand that my desire to be strong and the best within my world placed judgments on points within my world, where I defined others by this strong weak point based on the idea that those who were strong physically, dominant, and decisive where the ones I wanted to be like, and thus I associated the strong with male as the figure in my life who exemplified this was my father. I realize and see that strength is not defined by what one can do physically or who one is within their sex, but is based on who one is within their living and how they are in regards to life, do they live in equal and one to others and respect others and self in this regard.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hold onto a desire to be like my dad growing up because I desired to be strong and seen as strong by others and thus I push myself to be within this male role and push myself to compete with men so I can be within myself knowing that I am the best because I can beat men and be equal in what I am doing and essentially prove that I am just as strong as men.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself within myself to desire to prove that I am able to compete with me to myself as I held a standard of perfection within myself and I would only see myself as this perfection point if I was able to beat all points within my world and I saw this within beating men as they were the strongest and the competition was always based on sports.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to beat others and define myself as the winner.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hold onto a standard of perfection and push myself to be this winner so thus I could see myself as perfect.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see life within strong weak within physical capabilities and thus define life within this way.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see life within a strong/weak polarity based on dominance within the demeanor of the being and always associate and connect this to being male based on the stature and shape of their physical and their role within society as the head of households.

To be continued....



2012, desteni, eqafe, equality, father figures, head of household, journey to life, men are from mars, men are strong, men vs. women, women from venus, women weak, family make up, family dynamics, family ties, mother, father roles