My Journey to Life: bad

I discuss in this audio how I learned how to trust myself. I was quite an insecure person with little self trust, now standing within myself in self trust and confidence on a mission to support self change and the world to change in the best way possible. This to support and teach all to become stewards of the earth so we can all learn to live in decency and dignity.

Check out the links for more on the process at desteni:

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!

www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Self Supportive Material -

www.Eqafe.com

Forum support:

www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:

wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:

www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:

www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook:

www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Photo Source

Gentleness has been a point that has come up recently for me to look at and integrate into my life because I realized through support that I have not allowed this expression to come through in myself and so in my living. I have recently started to open up the side of myself that I have always resisted to face and that is the more evil side of who I have become in this life. Now there is a movement within me when I see that I am evil in my ways and obviously this is not what the mind as ego wants to look at as it shows our true nature, who we are underneath the shell of the persona we have created for the outside world. The secret mind of ourselves is what I am currently looking at and the implications of the evilness that I have participated in in my mind and so then lived out in my life which causes outflows of abuse that can not be really understood of their reach. What I mean by this is that when I say something in reaction to a co-worker for instance, I don’t know how that person will internalize it and then through their own mind live it out, it could be they get up and live the job for instance or they go home and yell at their kids and then their kids are effected by one instance of outburst I lived out because I was not self aware and self disciplined enough to stop myself. The effects of our words and actions ripple’s throughout time and through life so it’s important that we understand this and walk the process of self correction.

So with the support of others, my buddy specifically through the desteni I process I am currently walking, she shared the insight that I have not yet allowed myself to be gentle with myself and so I then can not live this out in my world because it is not an expression of me as of yet. I have not yet given to myself the tools to support to understand what this means to be gentle, how I am not being this way, why I should live in this way, and so the solution as the realizations as foundation to live this within myself and so in my life.

So first I want to clear the word evil to let go of the negative attachment I have toward it and then walk the point of investigating and supporting myself to practically live gentleness for myself and so for everyone in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the word evil in fear as I see this as something that can not be undone or be corrected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the word evil is an absolute definition about someone or something and within being labeled or seen as evil then you are damned to this label forevermore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the belief that the word evil means absolute when in reality I see, realize, and understand that evil is a point of misalignment and so within that there is a correction process that is required to become back in alignment with life as one lives.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the process of correction as something that is so far in the future that I fear that I will fall and not be able to give up my evil ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the belief that I will fall and give up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to engage in the thoughts that I will fall and give up and continue with what is not best for all as the evil that exists within what I do in this way of living, and so manifest this and perpetuate in in my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the breath of life as this process being walked where life is here and so am I, and then in each moment is the opportunity for life and through applying what is here as tools of support and solutions that are common sense and best for all, this process of self correction and self perfection is inevitable as I walk breath by breath here where I am always at and so can create from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a bad person because of the way in which I behaved and acted based on not being disciplined and self determined to stop my thoughts and energies to thus prevent the abuse from occurring as I see the outflows it will create before hand.

I forgive myself that I have not as of yet accepted and allowed myself to live the act of prevention is the best cure by staying principled within my living and stopping my mind from directing me through counterbalancing it with my own self directive will in the moment to moment application of day to day living where I see, realize, and understand that change is able to be lived by don’t live it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall within self honesty where I give my mind more of myself by giving into resistances and so face the consequences of abuse and mis-takes as I am not able to be here and be fully aware because I have allowed myself to go into my mind and live it out through accepting it to overwhelm and live it out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to the personality play outs I have existed as in my living and so become addicted to the programmable reactions where I allow that to play out as it’s easier rather then asserting myself and changing myself to become my own self directive will by actually willing myself to stop and so change in real time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for this as a bad/evil person and so want to punish myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to punish myself and so create the breeding ground for the mind to overwhelm and live out the abuse in my life.

When and as I see I am going into a point of seeing myself as evil and moving in the direction of giving into resistances in my living, I stop and breath, and realize this is a recipe for self abuse and so abuse out in my world.

I commit myself to let go of the belief that evil is bad or unchangeable through realizing that it’s a mis-alignment in life that needs understanding and correction through a self process.

I commit myself to investigate all ways and mind patterns in which I describe as evil so I can understand myself as it and correct myself.

I commit myself to let go of the addictions to resistances and energy movements and push myself beyond my limitationseach and every time I see it is able to be done until I do not have to push anymore but it is lived as me.

I commit to redefine words that will support me in this venture to ensure I give myself care equal to how I would like to give it to others.

I commit myself to redefine evil and live this word as actions of misalignment in my living followed by thought patterns andenergy reactions that are in need of understanding and correction asap.

The next blog, I will walk the process of redefining gentleness for myself and laying a foundation for how I will walk in practically in my life and why I am doing so. Thanks for reading.