Day 19 - Spitefulness - Wanting things for free

Image by Marlen Vargas Del Razo

www.equalmoney.org

I had a significant moment in my process, actually two, where i got something for free and i desired to keep getting that point for free due to the logic that i deserve it because ..... there is not much within the looking at my reason to why i deserve something for free when in fact it cost money to produce, money equal time, labor, blood, sweat, and agony at times for others. SO why should i get something for free when others have to spend time/energy/resources essentially themselves to produce it, input in and input out, so there is a balance that must occur within all points of the physical. When self/some/all take and take and do not give back, there becomes an imbalance and in imbalance there is suffering, what is best is best within a point of equality and the oneness that we are all the same, from the same source, life that which creates what is here. 

So as been said we are creating as we are life, and thus we produce, but what i have been allowing and accepting is the spite, the spite of my mind consciousness desiring more and to have it 'easier' as i don't have to give my time/effort to earn that money to get that product, i can get it for 'free'! But as i have discussed it never is really for free, there is always a price that is paid, one that either supports life or harms it. Each have a consequence and only one supports self in one's and everyone's best potential. Why would self not want to support all life in a way that end suffering? I can't understand at times how i allow such obvious and deliberate spite and abuse, where i make such dumb and quick decisions due to being addicted to the experience, the rush of energy, the thrill, but again not considering the consequence. 

This decision in spite, the one i made a long time ago, where i wanted something for free, it cost me a lot as i look back in that moment of seeking the mind/spite, and so i did not buy it which would have help many people/families/children, but due to spite i did not buy it cause i didn't get it for free. Missing an opportunity to live a prosperous and fruitful life for myself and many others that i could see, but what did i decide, what came first, my desires, my wants, my experience, my mind, my mine, my precious, my money, and so what did i miss, life, the physical, the others building and creating WITH me, myself as an equal as life, and i understand this is not the way i would like to live. 

I forgive myself for the misstep i took back in that time, not considering the actual physical that goes into creating life, many parts and many points of physical labor and movement, and when done in a willingness of what is best for all, magic happens/life in its limitless forms is birthed, the best we have to offer, but i understand i must forgive myself for my past/harms and rebirth and breathe and live what is best when i come to this point again in my journey. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have things for free in a spiteful way where i understand it's to only benefit my own pocket and have more then what is actually my equal share as a point of exchange one a product the other the ability to prosper with money. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to move into a point of spitefulness accepting and allowing harm unto another deliberately with the belief that i deserve it, i am saying then i am superior to that other, i am special, when i see, realize, and understand that is an idea do not physical fact as we all are actually here creating as our physical labor in our own capacity and expression, and thus we all deserve life as what is best in equal exchange where all benefit.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see myself as an equal but in separation as specialness and superiority, showing i am not this as i am not standing in what is actual fact that we are all here, all have our own unique expression that is part of what makes us life as the limitless expressions that exist, and that we all require and need what is giving us at this time the ability to live, equal exchange for our services as the ability to live which is at this time money.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define freedom as a way to get out of doing what is best for all, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify harming another through the mind as beliefs as i deserve it and i am thus more special then the other cause i am more experienced or given it freely in the past, when i see realize and understand that circumstances change and what is real here is what matters, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist in the past and define myself by the past as knowledge instead of understanding the principles of what i am living as doing what is best for all and supporting all as i would like to be supported. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that in the society of living beings where all are equally exchange in a way of what is best for all, freedom will emerge as a natural outflow of a world that is best for all life, where suffering ends, and life is in balance and thus freedom will be a living expression the way in which it was meant to be lived.

I commit myself to stop the ideas and beliefs i deserve something that not considers all life one and equal.

I commit myself to not stop and let go of my ego as desires to get something for free so i don't have to work as hard, when i see realize and understand this is harmful and is a miscalculation of the physical reality and what is best for all life.

I commit myself to stand in the shoes of the other and do my best to stand the principle of balance giving as i'd like to receive. 

I commit myself to walk the path of not giving up on myself and all until an equality system in what is best for all is here as the physical reality and freedom is lived as an expression of myself. 

I commit myself to understand that life is not free but is at a cost, where it is being expressed within a physical action of others as me equal and one and the balance of equality in what is best has to be given back, as i'd like if i was in there shoes. 

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Little birdie blue and a pear - day 11

Little blue birdie sitting on a perch

Smelling the air, it seeks out its lover

Who just landed on a pear 🍐 

The pear sits there for anyone to take

Unconditionally it gives no matter the snake

The snake comes and slithers, and digs his fangs in

It sucks up the nutrients and begins his journey again

The pear half eaten falls onto the ground,

Where the blue bird flys and eats some he found

It was splattered across the pavement as the pear fell to earth, 

with no one hearing its whistle

he knew where this would go, no worry no cause, life does go on

it's out the bum of the bird and the snake who had there fill for this day

The blue bird flys away full and sustained, and grateful he was as he meets his mate again

Shame - Part 2 - Living this as A Gateway to our Best Self - Day 595

The Awareness of the Eagle through the Portal at Eqafe

Continuation of Day 594 -
Shame - Part 1 - Living this as a statement of self correction through self forgiveness - Day 594

Through the experience of shame, this shame is when one do something in one's life that creates an outflow in one's behavior that cause harm and abuse in some way, and is in one's face, eventually when we do not in fact take self responsibility for our actions, these points of self compromise and regrettable actions will be lived out. We don't often consider or become aware of our shameful acts, I know before I was walking the desteni i process, I would not very much take note of the times where I did something to cause harm to another. And when I did, all i wanted to do was escape the event or the people and move onto something that made me feel good inside myself, though the shameful occurrence is a truth now and did in fact happen, this fact can't be denied forever. 

So it's not going to go away, it can be suppressed and buried within, but doesn't ever go away and thus will in turn happen again through time because I did not learn from the last event and I didn't do anything to change the outcome to be something different. Thus in this terrible game I play with myself, i not only weaken and harm my own self integrity and self core as a Living being among all other life and life forms that reside among me, I harm and weaken others around, which creates rippled outflows from beings they will touch and integrate with, and thus exponential abuse is created by my one single action to abdicate responsibility and live out my self irresponsibility to change who I am to be able to stand the outflow of what is best for all, thus why not just face the shame and change myself to be a better human being here now, what better opportunity then the one's life gifts to us as our self experiences day in and day out, breathe by breathe. 

At last, until I finally realized the power of self forgiveness and self will in the corrections of myself that is best for all in my self commitments statements, I did not realize the full and total impact my actions not only have on my mental, spiritual, and physical well being, but every other living thing I touch, which in fact is everything, cause self is one and equal to the physical and thus life itself within to the without. Shame I have found to see my false face and find the grace I was equally given by life itself, to give it another chance to see a better way and for me to take that opportunity and create something more and better for myself and so every being I will touch from that moment forward. So we have extraordinary impact in this life, for better or worse, this always defined and refined by self, and I highly suggest the desteni i process tools to work through who we are as shame and the outflows this creates. 

This the kind of commitment I found was required to walk through my shameful acts and really self investigate who I am within myself to in fact give myself the ability to change in the next moments it could occur again. A never giving up on self's ability to learn and change and a point of self willingness to push into unknown territory and suffering in ways, this when one finally face the shame of self and build up the self empowerment of proven living change to do better for oneself and others, you become a being who is not moved, can move self and direct self into eternal life by living and creating for oneself life to others as how you would want it best for yourself.

Also, a willingness to push oneself always beyond what one thought possible, this I found doesn't have to be an extreme type experience, but to in the moments that open up in your day to day life when you face a challenge, to walk through the fear and face the challenge....and build on this each and every day, to each and every moment it opens up in your world. I am not saying this is all you do all day long, no, just be aware of yourself in your day to day moments and start learning how you operate, the mechanics of self. So working with the moments that bring me shame and I started to become aware of these moments by actively taking self responsibility, I found the point of building oneself up over time, slow but sure, with consistency is the most efficient and effective way to just get it done. It's a slow process, but highly interactive and fascinating, and this i found the gift in living the word shame. 

Shame I have redefined as being ashamed - a- sham (false) - e (expression), so it's a false face I am putting on within myself to mask the real evil (= live in reverse) of who I am being and how I am living in moments with myself and so into moments with others in my actual physical everyday moments. Most of the abuse is in specific personality types I have accepted and allowed to live out, such as self inferiority, self righteousness, ego patterns, and much more, though it was patterned and over time I learned my self abusive patterns through the tools and practice daily of listening to eqafe.com, applying self forgiveness in writing and out loud, and commitment statements for myself through learning from writing each forgiveness statements I made. This so the next time I face this shame and stopping the compounding of abuse, I had a directive in my awareness that I spoke or wrote and was able to redirect my living into a way forward that is best for myself and so best for all I meet. So the shift happens in awareness from the mind disturbances to what and how can I change my physical living to be more efficient in my living mechanics of myself, the way I operate, and how my thoughts, words, and actions has a rippled exponential effect for better or worse. 

And I repeated this over and over until I was satisfied with my self honesty within myself in the process point I was practicing changing. I followed my gut and now recognize this as my self core, self honesty, inner voice, sanctuary that I have created within myself. This inner guide and self honesty support with how to move in my reality, what is best to do, how best can I support live, and where can i make a difference to be a better me, more efficient, more impactful is key to self creation i have found in a way that benefit all. 

The sky of life is the limit as far as I am concerned, and within the limits of life principle in what is best for all, certainly heaven on earth can be created by correcting the inner mechanics of self into the outer by common sense self sustainability in taking self responsibility for one's actions. Being ashamed is difficult yes, but I see it as a gift to my highest potential as motivation to move from what I know to be not who I really am into the being that I know i can be, the best of myself as I give myself to others the best I am able to and living this until its proven in the physical. 

Thanks for reading and please feel free to leave any comment or questions if you see fit.

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Looking forward to meeting you there.

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The Gift that Keeps Giving - Self Forgiveness - Day 578

I am taking on a 30 day challenge of writing self forgiveness out in my blog every day, this to get back into the flow of writing my blog and working on daily points I face. I do lots of sounding self forgiveness and changing myself, I walk my process every moment, this process at desteni with the tools of self forgiveness and self honesty has become a part of the fabric of who I am, it has integrated into my cells is how I describe it, and it's due to consistency in my application, this similar to playing a sport and practicing. It is physical integration through repition, self will, and self creation.

Self forgiveness has been an extraordinary support in my life since I started practicing it many years ago, I can understand and so experience a release of the pattern and system I forgive and so giving myself the opportunity for transcendence by living the realization as correction from the self forgiveness itself.

This tool will always be here for me as I will always be here for myself, it is an eternal tool that is here for all to support all, it brings one back to themselves as life. All of life is now in the process of forgiving ourselves for what we have created as we see in this world many ills are occurring and so equally when I look in myself, many ills are occurring and have occurred. Though through forgiveness I can take each and everyone on and find solutions, live the courage to change, and in fact walk that change into my life and so all life as we are interconnected, equally as one.

Self forgiveness is a gift and it continues to give me the gift to eternal life, I see the alignments, one just has to walk it through this door and change oneself in honor of all life until all that remains is self here and so it is done.

Day 1 starts tomorrow!
Thanks for the support :)

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The Principle of Self Perfection through Self Creation - Day 575

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"3. The Principle of Self-Perfection Through Self-Creation
Self-Perfection is the process of reflecting on and investigating myself through writing, releasing myself from the past through Self-Forgiveness, and changing myself through Self-Application and living change. These tools allow me to develop a deep intimacy with myself, enabling me to see the workings of who I am, how I came to be this way, and how to create myself into the best possible expression of myself that I can be."

From the source: Desteni Declaration of Living

This principle is like the gift that keeps giving within the hard work one puts in, you do the work, you live and become your highest potential, you will start to align to and create for yourself a perfection in self as who you are in your living. So the equation I see here is walking the process of self change in what is best, investigate and understand who self is as the pattern, live self forgiveness, walk the change necessary to do what is best for all as best for self, and so move into the quality of living that is self perfection, which gives substance in a multiple of ways unknown and I have found can not be predicted. It is a similar process of the seed of a fruit tree, it's starts out very small, very fragile, needing lots of tender, care, understanding, patience, discipline, creativity, perseverance, courage, and integrity to name some support words, to be able to grow to be a big mature tree bearing countless amounts of fruit over it's lifetime.

The fruit tree is a cool visual example of what the living of self-perfection is within oneself and in one's life, this is accomplished through walking both self frogiveness on a pattern that is of abuse to life as yourself and others, and living the corrective application to do what is best for all until it is proven through time by your own self honesty. When one lives this through and proves who you are through time, it is like another layer of substance as the tree bark and leaves and branches grow to hold the space and ability to bear the fruit for everyone to enjoy.

With walking the process to self perfection you create substantial creational abilities within yourself which empower you in your world and reality, you are also gifted with self trust and an understanding of who you are and what you are capable of in this life because you walked the talk so to speak, you created this path yourself through and through, step by step, breath by breath. This no one can take away from you here or beyond, it becomes your legacy and can be an incredible gift, you become your own fruit tree bearing sustenance for all life to enjoy and be supported with.

The journey of self perfection is an individual journey for each one as the path has to be walked for self and changed within self and in one's world by self, though there is and always will be the basis of support here in this physical world to support with this process. For example, some of the main sources I use on the daily as I walk this process is bernard poolmans videos and words, eqafe.com with the portal sharing, work environments that I am involved with every day, and all the people I interact with online and in real life, there is support within everything I have found if you open yourself up to it. As been said many of times, use your resources, they are here to support so go ahead and use them for support to be your best self!

So the self perfection of self within walking the tools of life in what is best is a gift in itself to self real-i-ze yourself and bring to fruition the seeds you sowed within yourself to gift to others in your life as you become a source of life-giving, unconditional to all for all in what is best, and your life becomes fruitful, incredible, and indeed extraordinary like a matured fruit tree standing firm, rooted in the earth, and giving itself as life support for all to have.

Check out the resources, and investigate who you are as life principles lived, self forgiveness, self honesty, self-commitment to change, and in fact living the words self perfection in who one is. Let's walk together and support each other until this life is created in the perfection that has always existed here, within and to the without. Support and educate yourself on the links shared, thanks for reading!

http://www.eqafe.com - Check out the new unlimited subscription plan at Eqafe, it's fantastic!
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Some In-Sights to this Christ-mass Day - Who AM I? Day 571

Christmas, a day of giving. 

Here I have been looking at christmas today due to lots of my life being involved in it even if I didn't want this much christmas in my world lol. For instance, I have a business leadership responsibility where I have to follow certain traditions that have been put in place, such as giving bonus checks out at the end of the year as a gift from the owners to the employees. I also like to give something extra as a gift from the new leadership in the company, which is my cousin and myself, and it be something practical, cool, and an advertisement for the company, this year I gave an embroidered lightweight backpack for people to go hiking, biking, take to the gym, whatever. So I enjoy surprising people with that.

I also am living at my sisters house and she hosts christmas dinner for my family, so I have had to give myself to helping her in many ways due to the fact that there are so many little factors that creates the eventual party that everyone will enjoy with food, drink, bake goods, and children opening presents. So there is christmas everywhere in my world and always has been around this time, though I realize not everyone is able to take a day off and enjoy with there family or friends, I do consider this at all times as best I am able to to not lose sight of what is important and who I am in my life and living. 

So I have been playing with this day today as in recent past I have disliked christmas, not wanting to be a part of it, seeing it as a scam, ect. which in many ways the idea of christmas and how it is directed in our reality is messed up, though I have been redefining it for myself and so I have found a way to stand within it and just be here with myself and everyone else regardless of what is happening and what is out of my control at this time.

I have chosen this word - play in my process to support me to anchor myself into my reality and so instead of becoming depressed or inferior or judgmental or superior, stand within a point of play, having fun, being creative, and being present and this supports with anchoring me into my body and so becoming balanced within who I am quite nicely I have found. The act of being present and finding like an adventure out of your everyday routine or life, makes life quite interesting and enjoyable to walk through. Not every moment, of course, is like this and there are moments where seriousness or some other state of being needs to be lived, but I push myself to balance myself back into this word - play and thus fun and adventure whenever the opportunity arises or I am reminded to do so. 

These words like play, fun, adventure, creative have served me well as I find I a much more at ease within my body and my self as me when actively living them and expanding within them as my living, and through this I have more of an influence and reach within my reality, I am able to connect more to people, hold more communication, eye contact, and intimacy with others, I am able to expand myself within who I am as a person that is here to support, not to harm, and also to expand in my reality, understanding more, understanding myself more, and so the path and journey continues. Always having my pillars of inner support being self honesty, self forgiveness, self introspection, self correction, and living the change within self and one's world, this is a process at desteni, it is a cycle, and it goes deeper and deeper into self, which is equally part of the play, fun, and adventure!

I found this christmas more the living of giving in a truer sense within myself in not only giving gifts as wrapped toys or presents, but actually being the present, being present with others and giving the gift that is my expression, where I make an effort to be present with the other, connect, engage in a way that adds benefit, and so leave the moment with a giving of myself as the fulfillment of who I am and can be in that moment to the best of my ability that I could see and so live. Living my highest self, pushing this as a focus and steadfast point as who I am until it is natural, this being a gift for me and others this christmas, so I am grateful and look forward to the day where I am just here breathing and living what is best for all regardless, it is who I am, simple as that. 

Christmas is just a day to practice this more intently due to the nature of the holiday, eventually it’ll be transcended though for the time being I like to use the day with efficiency and for sure fun, play, and radical self expression in the giving of who I am as the gift itself. 



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Day 250 – The Vengeful Character – Ownership – Self Corrections to Live

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For Further Perspective on the Vengeful Character, check out these Blogs:
Day 244 - How is Vengefulness Created within me? –Vengeful Character
Day 245 - I am An Addict - Opening Up More on Vengefulness
Day 246 - The Family Unit and the Vengeful Character
Day 247 - The Vengeful Character – “Believing I Require Possessing” Self Forgiveness
Day 248 – The Vengeful Character – “Believing I Require Possessing” Self Commitments to Live
Day 249 – The Vengeful Character – Ownership

When and as I go into a possession point with stuff that is currently mine and become reactive if another takes or uses my things, I stop and breath, and realize that what I have or is mine is not only mine, but is something I am using within moments in my living, when I am not using them or another would like to use them, I can share this and thus if someone takes, then direct the person to ask first to make sure it is not already being used.

I commit myself to let go of the desire to possess my things and thus stop myself from going into reaction if another takes something that I am using.

I commit myself to not accept reactions within anger and irritation towards others if they happen to take something that is mine, and find out the why they took it and direct them into a solution that will work for both after I have stopped my reaction through breath I engage.

I commit myself to stop desiring to own my stuff and thus not allow others to use it without a reaction, so I commit to share my stuff when I am not using it or another requires it in all instances.

I commit to work out directions beforehand so the consequences are understood and thus live up to them as well.

When and as I go into a back chat thought when I find that another took my things without asking permission of ‘their so inconsiderate and rude’, I stop and breath, and realize that this is purely a point of blame to not have to face my responsibility of sharing my things and allowing others to freely use it without fear.

I commit myself to when this backchat thought comes up, stop it through breathing, and go to the person and find out what happen, and work out a point of solution or speak common sense so they understand the consequences of what they did and how to best go about getting things from me in the future so the point is cleared.

I commit myself to let go of fear within losing this item and give the item to those that need to use it and if something breaks, then find a solution and direct it with common sense such as have the other replace it or make a plan with the other who broke it to get another one, or let it go.

When and as I go into assumption and anger based on another taking my things and becoming spiteful towards them due to accepting this fear of loss of money that was spent, I stop and breath, and realize the item has equal value with the life I communicating with, and thus I realize I must stop money from dictating how I will react and thus live from a point of equality in hearing all sides and coming to a decision in stability within myself with and towards others.

I commit to let go of the fear of losing an object that is worth a lot of money, by realizing these things happen and either replacing it or buy something that is not so expensive.

I commit to use common sense within what I buy and not buy things based on the money worth of it, but practical reasons.

I commit to stop abusing others based on my fears of lose if they take or break something that was mine, I commit to to stop my fear of lose by thus giving as i would like to receive.

When and as I find that I am going into a possession within a feeling experience with an object and make it more valuable and important then the physical reality here I am living in, I stop and breath, and give up the item for a length of time and write about the point of why I am becoming so addicted to it, what am I not giving myself that I am getting within becoming obsessed with this item, and correct the point to align with life for real in the physical.

I commit myself to let go of the feeling of excitement and goodness when I am using an item I possess and enjoy through letting it go for a while until I am no more moved by feelings of possession.

I commit to walk the usage of the object based on it’s practical function, and not participate in energy experiences towards it through breathing,

I commit to stop defining myself by what I have and start living who I am here, seeing all here as extensions of myself and living among them in the best way possible, creating myself into the optimum I can be by using these objects as what they were designed for rather then using them to feel good and sharing with life as I would want for myself.

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Day 72- 'Why don't you Love me?'

I had a dream last night of a past relationship, it was interesting because it brought me right back to the feelings and emotions I experienced while being with this person, and it was a feeling of not being loved.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the desire to be loved. I realize and see that this desire is based on the fact that I don't love myself and thus don't love others as searching for love is not being love. To live love and be love is to stop the desires and feelings for love from another, and live love as a solution for this world to bring about a world that is best for all and all life are free to enjoy their expressions as life, which is real practical love as this gives all life freedom in being life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame and become angry at another for me not receiving what I expected to make me feel good as love, and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to treat another in anger and blame based on how I was feeling and projecting onto them within my own self interest as a want to feel good in being loved. I realize and understand that within this desire for another to give something to me that I don't believe I have within myself, I will never be satisfied as I am denying myself the love that is who I am. I am life and thus life is who I am and to deny myself any point of life here within this world within giving to others the joy that self can give, then I am not going to every receive love as you only receive what you give. If I don't give the love of myself to others one and equal as who I would want it, I can't blame nor expect any different outcome from another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not give how I would like to receive and thus go into blame and anger towards another because I was not willing to do what I was expecting. I realize and understand I am the other and thus giving to the other is giving to myself and thus within this giving I create a oneness of life here in equal giving as all is giving to all and thus all is received by all and this will create the best world for all, what we always have wanted to receive for ourselves, but the point to always consider and look at within myself is if I am giving it equal and one.

I commit myself to stop the expectation for love from another. I commit to be love as life and give love as life to all here within all ways I am able to give to all that which I can give, and thus this will always be the greatest reward.

I commit to stopping going into blame and anger towards another when I don't get what I expected and desired but always consider myself within what is here, and walk the correction to always give to others how I would like to receive.

I commit myself to always push myself and be an example for others to show what giving to another is and live this so life is giving instead of desiring, and we are open and free here by giving this to/as ourselves.