Monday, April 30, 2012

Day 15- Guilty Conscience

Feeling guilt for leaving the gate open and allowing my niece almost to seriously injure herself this realization came from a fellow youtuber's comment she placed of seeing me as feeling guilty in the video, which I watched back and saw this as so.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to continually cycle through the memory of her almost falling down the stairs within and as me and causing myself to become guilty for this action.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to form guilt based on a past memory that does not define me nor determine who I am in this here moment and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to enslave myself to a memory of past moments that are not here and thus not relevant to who I am here as breath into self change as equality and oneness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into guilt when I allow thoughts to accumulate of her injuries and suffering that could have occurred if I was seconds later and thus wallowing in depression based on this point that is not real nor beneficial for me to think about as it only causes me to be stagnant and in self diminishment as I am not walking breath as the correction I placed here in writing of myself in each and every moment in previous post.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accumulate thoughts of what if scenarios go through my head as these are points of distraction placed and pushed within my mind dimensions as I am accepting them by giving them energy through participating in them and thus I am distracting myself from the solution which is myself here in each breath stopping thoughts from directing me and becoming the solution as myself as I live.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as what if scenarios in my head as future projections or past possibilities entrapping myself within and as the mind as these points of past and future play outs I realize actual do not exist as they are not here within this breath moment as physical actuality as reality, but are within the mind as dimensions that are not real as mind dimensions is made up illusions we create and participate in as thoughts to thus make life more interesting but within this as separating ourselves from ourselves as life as creators we are sabotaging ourselves by looking for more when we are here as it. Within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within and as past, present, and future play outs as thoughts, feelings, and emotions as these are separating myself from what is here as the solution as myself within oneness and equality to thus walk this within and as breath til I am here and it in in fact real as me breathing as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from myself through participating in the mind within emotions as guilt and I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to let emotions exist within and as me here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to judge myself for who I was in the past and thus entrap myself in a cycle of self sabotage as I continually replay this and continually judge myself as the memory comes up through trigger points such as seeing her or a set of stairs.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist through memories as being triggered through seeing her or a set of stairs, and thus reenforce the entrap of myself by existing in the past instead of remaining here within and as the solution as myself living it, stopping the mind as thoughts and memories within distraction, and so living here as the correction as I take responsibility for what I did and thus change to be best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to self sabotage myself by existing in self judgment through who I was in the past instead of living here and changing myself as the solution in what I realize is the solution which is living here within and as oneness and equality with all life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to not accept myself and thus enjoy the self sabotage of myself because I see myself as deserving of this as I see myself as not able to and capable to be more then what I am here, and thus I go into self sabotage because I am living this as myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to sabotage myself because I don't accept myself, I see and realize that I am here and thus I am life one and equal with the physical so thus I realize I am capable and able to walk the corrections, will myself to stand and change, and push myself to continue this until it is done as I see this is who I am if I will it to be, I am director and thus responsible for what I do and create, I realize this is not just for me as self freedom but for life as self freedom within and as acceptance of all of us here as we walk and take responsibility for who we are as our creations individually and as a whole, and thus we walk as the correction as existences individually and as a whole until it is done.

When and as this point of guilt and the judgment of myself as self sabotage comes up, I stop and breath, continue to stop participating in the thoughts and pushing myself to walk as self acceptance by stopping all points of self judgement. I realize that this must be walked breath by breath as I will have many thoughts come up as I have accumulated many judgements as separations within myself, but I continue to apply self forgiveness, and walk the corrections, stopping myself, and embracing myself as who I am as life as all here is this. I stop guilt and existing within and as past, present, and future projections and thus remain here by walking as breath, pushing this until it is no more resisted, and walk the change until life is here in oneness and equality.

I commit to walk the points of stopping guilt and judgement of myself for who I was in past moments, and remain here within breath as I stop thoughts and work on my self application to stand here one and equal with self as life.

I commit to stop participating in thoughts, emotions, and feelings when they arise as I focus on breath and practice being here, until I am here, and I am no more directed by the mind, but self directed as life best for all.

I commit to walk self acceptance with all life starting here with myself by pushing intimacy and self understanding with the process of stopping self judgment and sabotage until I am here in full acceptance.



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