Self Forgiveness (Day 4): The Elixir of the Mind/Separation - Day 582

Art By: Andrew Gable

Find his Blog here: https://anartistsjourneytolife.wordpress.com

Here I am looking at the desires that come up within me during my day, there is always something looming within, like a thirst that can not be quenched, a movement that I am reaching for, but is just out of my reach, a churning in the pit of my stomach for a taste of this sweet sweet nectar of getting my desires fulfilled, and if it does not, I go into a state of conflict.

There is a fine line between expressing within words and living words that are here within specific indulgences I have for a long time had an addiction in, the words I live must be specific so I give myself the solid foundation I will need to be able to walk the path of self-honesty, and transcendence to be able to indeed direct myself and not have the mind as thoughts, feelings, and emotions direct me. I have walked this path many times from addiction to self-direction, though it always seems to continue to challenge me, going deeper into the addiction patterns, investigating who I am within it and how I will walk in honor of who I am as life and all life here. And man when the mind as self as the addiction of desire wants something, it almost becomes too overwhelming where one just completely go into it and give in and indulge.

Self Forgiveness on Indulgence and giving into desire:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to give in to my indulgences in such a way where i do it in a possession of believing that if i don't fulfill this desire i will collapse and become miserable and irritable, and so i must just get it because this is my savior.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within what i do and who i am that i must be getting access to the things i want and cause me to pain if i don't have them such as the pain of desiring something and not getting it, and through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without the thing that i desire and cause suffering in the moment, if i don't get it i will be lost and suffer much.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe without fulfilling the desire that i am wanting that i will die and not be able to go on in my life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without giving myself pleasure within fulfilling the desire within me as the mind's quest for release within the energy that accumulates once the desire is fulfilled to make my god and so follow it as my savior in this life instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding i am doing harm to myself and my body as i am not in full consideration of all, but only seeking the high of the desire fulfilled which is the drug of the mind that i feed.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without the fulfillment of the desire that i won't have a good life and it will be filled with missed experiences.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in desires themselves and so become only interested in fulfilling my desire and thus becoming ignorant to my self responsibility to all life to do what is best as i would like for me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become selfish within my pursuits of my life in search of what is best for me, what makes me feel good, what gives me pleasure, while all the while ignoring how and who i am effecting within what i am doing in each moment i am here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into thoughts and emotions and feelings when the desire constructs come up instead of moving into breath and living who i am as principles in what is best for all.

I commit myself to walk the path of breath, letting go of all desires and urges for self fulfillment in self interest through breathing and grounding myself as the energy with the earth in realizing that i exist within all and thus i am able to direct myself in what is best at all times.

I commit myself to consider my body equal and one within what i decide to live and express in and see where my body stands within what i do and why i do it, getting to know the body as me and waking up to the path that considers both self and the body and doing what is best for all.

I commit myself to release my desire flow of energy release through breath and in the moment direct myself to consider and so live what is best for all here, day by day, breath by breath.

Thanks for reading.


Support and educate yourself on the links shared to live your best self:

http://www.eqafe.com - Check out the new unlimited subscription plan at Eqafe, it's fantastic!
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
www.destonians.com
http://www.desteni.org
http://www.earthhaven.org

The Gift I Found in Self Acceptance is Self Trust - See How... - Day 562

Original Artwork by: Andrew Gable

Check Out his art at: http://www.andrewgableart.com

Who am I in relation to this word trust, and within that what I am really investigating is I am seeing is the ability to trust myself. What this immediately brings me to is looking within, trusting the voice of myself that is one of deep gentleness and calm that resides within my being. So here I have seen that I have established over my lifetime a sense of trust within myself through what I have learned and become aware of as my inner voice. Though I have walked many years in distinguishing between the voice my inner voice that I trust and the mind chatter or movement that comes up within that is experienced within energy movements as thoughts and emotions/feelings. Energy meaning it has movement to it and in a way, I experience it as I am following the thoughts, the emotions like a chasing in fact of the mind as thoughts. I will experience this energy in my body as tension or irritability for example where my voice gets hard, my body can go rigid, a rise of heat is experienced in the chest, and it can go into an experience of an eruption. As opposed to my inner voice that I have established within me is more experienced within me as a deep settledness, a calm in my body, a silence, and it comes with understanding, a constant knowing of who I am, and this 'i am' is aligned with life principle, what is best. 

I have always had a deep connection with this part of me, this inner voice, even when I was a child and I am sure we all can relate to this, its that knowing that there is something greater and more profound in me and in this life that is not readily here or known, but it is true, it is genuine, and it is supportive, this inner voice that feels like I am touching is good for lack of a better word, it is like a soft hand holding me as a support always. And this I have harnessed to something that I cherish within me all this time and hold to the fact that there is in fact in this world an understanding that this life matters and there is something more to discover, which has sent me on quite a quest to understand more of this understanding and knowledge I have come to know within myself about life.

Trust within myself though has not always been so deep and clear, yes I have had a connection with this deep part of myself, but I also have been very much influenced and created myself from my thinking patterns mainly of self ridicule, self abuse, and self bullying. This often leads to behavior that I take out on others due to not directing these parts of myself in a reasonable way, but more go to diminishing myself and others and so creating a diminished view of myself in this world and in fact creating it. Where at times little to no self-trust was present. 

I have memories of going into kindergarten, and man was I excited to experience the new scene, I heard my sisters and mom talk about it and I couldn’t wait to experience it for myself, the classroom, the books, the toys, the kids, and when I got there I was told that I was going to be tested. All of a sudden the excitement and experience of being in this new place full of adventure now turned into a fearful experience where I didn’t know how I was going to do on these test, was I smart enough to get in? Was I going to have to miss out on this new adventure because I didn’t pass my test? What is the test going to say about me? And so the experience of wonder turned into an experience of fear where I no longer trusted my own experience and how I was learning and interacting with my world, but now I was going to be told who I was through a test I had to take which will open or close the door to this new adventure I was so close to experience. This test was my only way forward I was seeing, I had no ability beside tantrum to let them know that I did not want to be tested and anyways my mom was not having that because I had to go to school, there were no other options.

This experience of school grew more and more into a point of fear and tension for me where i was more concerned with the experience of others and what I was going to be facing in my environment every day in terms of pressures or intense situations where I had to ‘step up’ instead of exploring at my own pace, getting to know and understand for myself what I was interacting with, and so finding my place within it all. Where I was more placing my trust in what I was getting as feedback from my enviroment to define who I was rather then going into myself, who i was, and how i was understanding myself within this new way of life, which is more how we experience ourselves as young children before the schooling years start typically.

This schooling experience I had and started to take in as who I was was contributing to my evolution of fear and self abuse I started to develop due to my warped way of taking in my world and how I interpreted with what I was taking in as input from others, my environment, and how I saw others treat me and people in general. So more just copying what would eventually help me to cope with my inner experiences of fear and tension and the growing perception that there is something wrong with me because I was not always measuring up. The coping experience was to be hard on me, beat myself up, and then I can keep cycling in the blame that I am not good enough, I am the problem, and so stay stuck, where I never actually find out what the real issue is that I am struggling with because I keep reacting to it and making it about having to be perfect, better, or more than who I already am here as my truth. In this stuckness, I don't have to go out of comfort zones, in this stuckness I know me and so life becomes routine, easy, yet perpetually more difficult because this I am not good enough evolves and grows as I keep allowing these experiences to direct me rather me it, so quite the conundrum of self-defeat I have been living through. 

This idea of being broken or damaged contributed to my quest to fix myself, make me more pretty, more smart, more excellent in whatever it is I was competing in and so my measure of who I was was no more on what and how I live in terms of my example as my words in action, what I learned through listening to that inner voice as a child, but more on satisfying an image in my mind I had to live up to. So a lot of my lack of self-trust was because I was not going within, I was not accepting who I was within what I was doing and being ok with what the results were in fact. This lack of self-trust is because I disconnected with my inner truth as the acceptance of who I am within my reality, the truth of the fact that I may not be well trained in something and within that that is ok, I can accept that, learn from it, and then grow to find the solutions that would make sense to make me better.

When we all know intrinsically that we can not be perfect in everything all in one go with all we do, it is just not possible, yet the drive I had for many years was based on this belief.  This acceptance of who I am here in fact and truth, no matter how bad, ugly, or silly it may be is the gateway to experience and get in touch with the self and the truth of oneself as one is in fact working with the reality of who one is in any given moment. Once one is facing the reality of who one is and accepts that, then one can embrace it to learn from it, and from there work on the process of improving and making it better through a real time understanding as one is walking it step by step. 

So trust i am finding is built through self acceptance, accepting the fact of who one is at any given moment to open the door for the truth of self to emerge and so the ability to trust in oneself because one in fact knows who and how one is and how to walk the process of learning, understanding, and growing to new heights or new depths with the information gathered and worked with. Trust then can open up the door to self-expansion, where new heights of growth and depth can be reached because one has accepted and worked with what is real, within and into the without of oneself. 

For more informative links in self-supportive material, check out:

Eqafe - the Process to Self Perfection in Recorded form

http://www.eqafe.com

Desteni I Process - Self Development Support

http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com)

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Living Words Process and Support:
https://www.facebook.com/schoolofultimateliving/

Earth Haven - Sustainable Living Environments -
Built on the Principles of What is best for all Life
https://www.patreon.com/earthhaven

Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

The Challange of Self Responsibility - Day 523

Here I explain what I have walked within becoming self responsible in my life. What are the challenges and how did I support myself to move through them. What is the benefit of living in such a way.


More links to support:

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
http://www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Self Supportive Material -
http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support:
http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Looking at the Word Precision – Day 475

 Photo Source

Please Reference my last blog for more context to this blog:

Precision of Self – Day 474

My goal for this word precision is to live it in a way that it supports with being more specific and exact within my every day activities, I know that I will not perfect this word in my living in a short period of time, though I do see that with consistency and movement within my self change this word has a huge potential for accelerating my living into the sphere of my utmost potential. So with that being said, I will have a look at where I stand within this word at the moment. Well first I will look at the definition from the dictionary of what this word means:

Precision: noun - the quality, condition, or fact of being exact and accurate

“Precision is similar to perfection in that both words suggest that something could not possibly be better. However, perfection describes something that's flawless, such as a beautiful sunset. Precision, on the other hand, is more about accuracy, like computing the exact second that the perfect sunset will occur.”

So I like the distinction that is made here within the words precision and perfection as they are very similar, but are not as they are not lived within the same contexts. Precision is more a form of movement within a mathematical equation, where perfection just is, meaning there is no movement within it, it is what it is wholly. So that is a cool understanding based on the belief that I had and I am sure many had of precision being something that is within perfection, but in actuality it is more relating to movement and mathematics. My partner sees life in many ways in terms of mathematics, and I am more and more finding it very fascinating as I have never looked at life in this way, but the more I look, the more I see all life is in fact mathematical. Perfection being the final result, where as precision is the movement to get to this final result of perfection. 

Precision within the way I have lived it has been something that I have always been fascinated by and enjoyed within different areas of study or activity that I have endeavored in, but there was an inherent belief within me that I did not have the ability to be precise, I was too clumsy, too impatient, too lazy to get to a point where I can express precision. Though, I have in moments expressed this specifically within my work or if I am in a physical activity such as writing up a proposal or cleaning something that is dirty, I will ensure I am precise within my movements as well as precise within the way in which I clean where I will calculate the size of the area, ensure I hit all areas calculated, and clean in a precision within the intensity as well as the veracity of my movements to ensure each layer is cleaned as precisely as the last.

This creates a point of perfection in a way where the cleanliness of the floor is satisfied for a amount of time to my liking, which also can create a precision within the efficiency of my movements within my cleaning schedule for instance and ensure my body is being used in it's most efficient capacity. Also, it creates a point of understanding that perfection is changing, meaning that when one reaches a perfection, through life there will always be a movement that will ensure that one keeps standing as this perfection as the floor will not stay perfect forever, but will have to be constantly moved into a perfection again and again as I consistently apply the actions of precision within cleaning it. So there is many factors to consider within this word of precision and there can surely be many benefits.

There is also a feeling of accomplishment within giving it my all within what I do and this is lived when I can execute a form of precision within what I do which will create the living of perfection, this not only benefiting myself but others as well. I find this action of being precise within what I do is done within a form of self determination and self satisfaction where I am not doing it for anyone else, but my own standards of living and existing for myself. So I have displayed precision within my living in ways that I am satisfied with, though my mind tends to tell me that I have not done it at all in a way that is satisfactory, and of course I realize there is always room for improvement.

I will do some self forgiveness and self correction to clear the word in my next blog and look at moving into the scenario I describe in my earlier blog of living precision as well as the support words to move through this possession point of self compromise I have been existing in for quite some time. This to ensure I change to stand in all I do with precision in the course of action I decide to walk in each moment to moment I am here. This course of living precise is for the end goal which is living what is best for all life and living in self honesty, which will create real living perfection as heaven brought to earth.

I will continue in my next blog. Thanks for reading.

Interviews to support on Real Time Application:
Neediness: Living Words & Fulfilment - Atlanteans - Part 313
Why is it so Hard to Change? - Life Review
The Consciousness of the Turtle - Part 1

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Precision of Self – Day 474

I will open up the next series of blog with looking at the word precision. This word I resist within myself within just looking at it here based on my desire to want to have an err of leeway to slack off and not put my full attention into whatever it is that I must act with precision in. So obviously within the principle of what you resist will persist, I am now in my process here to face and realign my living to in fact walk precision within myself and what I live in all moments that it calls for. I am going to focus this word precision with some support words such as constant, unwavering, persistence, steadfast, breath, here, life, best for all that I will use as a support structure to walk this specific point I want to walk within this act of precision and so then the support words to live these words in all areas of my life. So all these words will have to be looked at and redefined, which I will do in blogs to come.

The point I will be walking and practicing the integration of these words in my living is with a form of energetic reaction I go into and have noticed still has power over me in moments. It’s specifically within a group setting, meaning it’s with people, where we are talking face to face, and I am being looked at directly in the eyes. Then eventually there will be a movement or a belief that’ll come up due to some or one of the other people’s making some sort of gesture of uncomfortability, be it not holding eye contact or rubbing there face or eyes. These specific motions from the other cause triggers inside of me where in I will go into an emotional experience of diminishment coming from my solar plexus area moving into my chest area, and feeling in a way like it is clenching into my limbs which creates a tightness and constriction within my entire physical body.

So I feel it physically when I become possessed by this experience as this depressive state of tension and constriction, but this is not were it starts, this reaction starts with a little movement inside my stomach area of a sinking feeling and then the thoughts start of like a ‘damn, I am being judged again, I am the one who is being seen as awkward’ and then this will stew subconsciously while I am trying to hold face and discuss what is being talked about. Then I will depending on the stimulation from the external environment, go into a panic type experience or stop it there and not allow it. This moment of decision is usually based on if I go into the energy reaction or not, and the most highly tense time for reaction is if I go into a bathroom or mirror and look at myself. Then you may say, ‘well don’t look in the mirror’, but this is something that is addictive in nature as well as having to be transcended anyway as I can not keep away from mirrors my whole life.

And if I do fall into that addiction pattern of looking in the mirror and going into the thoughts of ‘your so ugly’, ‘you are never going to be normal and part of the group’ ‘you are inferior to others with this ugly face’ ‘you are not as cool as these people’ ‘they see you as awkward’ ‘you are not going to be able to stand with these people’, ‘you are weird and strange’ ‘they are going to judge you as weird’ ‘look how you talked, see you aren’t good enough’ ‘look how you look in the mirror, see you are so not attractive to look at’ ‘see how they rubbed their eyes, you are so disgusting looking’. Those are an example of the type of thoughts that go through my head, I will next time I see this pattern come up, use precision as a point to get the exact thought words that come up and what exactly the energy is doing to my body in these moments. But for now, this is the basics of it and I will work with this for the next blogs to come.

So with the word precision, I would like to look at and redefine it in my next blog to use it as a support structure for me to walk through this energy reaction of self compromise firstly, and then specify and use it for my living application in all I do. And so do this same process for the support words I mentioned earlier in this blog as well.

Thanks for reading.

Interviews to support on Real Time Application:
Neediness: Living Words & Fulfilment - Atlanteans - Part 313
Why is it so Hard to Change? - Life Review
The Consciousness of the Turtle - Part 1

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Not Facing Yourself In Real Time – Day 473

I have witnessed last weekend the consequences of not applying myself in real time moments within points of extreme emotion, and I almost had a panic attack. I had listened to an audio and within that audio, I took the information and my mind ran with it. I within that time remember feeling pulled into this experience of overwhelming fear and anxiety especially and it growing more and more as I allowed it. As I kept participating in the energy of the whole storm within myself and in my mind, I realized it got more and more difficult to pull myself out of it. So by the time I got support from a friend to reel me back to reality, I put my body through a massive surge of emotion and almost ended up vomiting. I did no writing throughout the days and also did no real self directed forgiveness aloud. I got a few out, but by then I was quite involved in the whole experience that I had become almost possessed.

Applying myself in this process is of utmost importance, and here as a gift the physical is showing me that this is what is needed to move through these mind patterns and transcend them in real time living. It’s quite obvious what it entails and I have been walking this process for more then six years that it’s like second nature now. Though, it is not, I have to constantly and consistently push my self direction to apply myself day to day, write out my mind constructs and daily forgivness, speak forgiveness and live the corrections to in fact move, the mind nor anything else for that matter is going to do this for me, I have to move me. This all is imperative especially now as the more deeper mind dimensions are becoming more active to be moved through and transcended. So as with my new career as a sales women, the same principles apply, I must continue to put myself in uncomfortable situations or situations that I resist to prove to myself that I am able to change myself and live what is best for all. If I don’t walk the necessary steps to live the change I want to live such as stopping myself in a moment of emotion and stopping myself to go into the thought patterns, then the mind as was demonstrated to me this weekend, will literally take over.

So it’s important for real time application and not only this, but consistency within this, every day as this will support with not allowing the energy as emotion and/or feeling to accumulate. The daily application keeps the energy surges and/or attempts of possessions at a stable level as you as the beingness within the mind stop it and also transform the mind programs into self created platforms that will support with stability. So this is the living corrective application process one speaks and/or writes after the forgiveness on a point is done within what I am walking as the desteni i process. Also what I am practicing is re-defining and living words in relation to the point I am changing within myself and transform these words to support myself to become equal with my mind in my living to live what is best for me as well as what best for all through common sense. This being done by creating the structure of how to live a word in my real time application and practice it in to create for myself a new way of facing myself in whatever comes in my world and finding solutions through the support that I have prepared before hand to stand.

In my next blog, I will walk the start of this process with the self forgiveness and self correction process as well as the living word process with a specific point I have been walking over a long time period, this pattern has been persistent and s I will walk this to create that living structure for myself to be able to stand and direct myself in common sense.

Thanks for reading.

Interviews to support on Real Time Application:
Neediness: Living Words & Fulfilment - Atlanteans - Part 313
Why is it so Hard to Change? - Life Review
The Consciousness of the Turtle - Part 1

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Moving Beyond the Personality - Day 469

For context to this blog, please read my previous blog:
Making the Mind Personal – Day 468

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my mind personal and believe that what I am seeing, following as thoughts, believing as true, and reacting to in conflict is who I really am and that nothing is able to be changed because this is just to overwhelming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what I am experiencing within and as my mind is too overwhelming to deal with and that I am enslaved and being over taken by it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not able to direct myself within my mind when I have seen, realize, and understood that within my self will I have stopped my mind, energy, thoughts, beliefs, and stood within principles of what is best and life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the mind is too powerful within it’s systematic way that I can’t foresee what is to happen and what to expect next, when I see, realize, and understand that the tools of self support and self directiveness is always here as breath, principles, and my own self will in which I have proven in time how to stand for myself and stand within life principles.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the past, present, and future of my mind where I go into thinking about this and that instead of realizing, seeing, and understanding that what is here is not thinking, but living and so within living, I am here and thus am able to empower myself through my own will to live and change in what is best for all through living words and support platforms that move myself into breath by breath living and directing myself in the here moment to solutions that are best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing the ability to think and have the mind to fall back on as I have used it in ways to not face parts of myself that I have denied and suppressed and so letting go of the mind and living as breath, the responsibility of myself is here and living in self honesty is to be proven.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a mistake and falling within my self and life living process, and so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my mind or others within an attempt to thwart my responsibility and consequence of outflows I have created within my life and so perpetuate abuse rather then walking the correction process and supporting life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the mind and blame it for what is happening as the consequences in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take full responsibility for myself as my living and what I have created and so I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stand as the correction process here in each moment as I walk in this process through the mind as myself and into a correction process to live life here as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the mind as a safety net and not move beyond my fears to live here and direct myself as my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my life personal and what happens to me or what doesn’t and go into blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my living word here and create separation and abuse.

I commit myself to take full responsibility of my mind as I move into a slow down correction process of myself as real time application.

I commit myself to live self response-ability in each here moment where I embrace my life and walk it into a correction process each and every moment as it comes.

I commit myself to slow down in moments of patterned behavior such as voice rising or thoughts repeating and do self forgiveness out loud to clear it.

I commit myself to speak correction statements to navigate my living here into a support of what is best for all in my living.

I commit myself to live words into the physical that are supportive for all, consider all involved, and honor the life within all.

I commit myself to see all equally and embrace this as myself within all that I do.

I commit myself to live breath by breath and move the energy back to the earth and walk the correction process that is best for all. 

More Support for the topic of Taking the Mind Personal:
Insecurity: Going Deeper: Introduction - Atlanteans – Part 248
Self Sabotage: Nature & Design - Atlanteans - Part 285
Moving from Taking Things Personally to Personal Responsibility - Reptillians Part 224
Self Sabotage: Personality System - Atlanteans - Part 286

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Making the Mind Personal – Day 468

 Photo Source

I have as of recently being looking at this point in my process where I have been making my mind more then it really is, where I stress and go into great emotions based on what is coming up within me as my thoughts, reactions, and behavior in my life. I realize this is the purpose of the mind, so from that perspective, I am acting just as I programmed it. And this is the point that I have been starting to realize more and more as it has been said over many times throughout my process walking with Desteni, this understanding that what is coming up in relation to myself and how I am thinking or behaving is programs, it is not personal in terms of it does not define me as a being, it is what has been programmed over time by myself without really realizing or having the tools to support myself to stop it.

Now walking the desetni I process, I have learned much about my own mind and the programs that I have created for myself, every so now and then, I get through a point or am faced with a point that really challenges my stand within this understanding of what I am experiencing is just programs, they are not really who I am. These programs come with energy, so it’s not only thoughts that I have to let go of in terms of reacting to them, I also have to let go of the energy that is attached to these thoughts. This has been a challenge due to the fact that the energy feels so real and feels so intense, and the immediate belief and idea of what is happening is that this is real, I need to react in this energy, I need to react to these thoughts and participate in them because this is really how it is, but through time and through my own investigation in writing and my correction process, I realize beyond this belief and idea of what is real, that reality is always here stable, physical, and in a way that is factual and able to be mathematically understood. 

Though, this realizing of the fact that I am not my mind or my programs in the sense that I can change myself, reprogram myself to live in a way that is best for all, and I can really move beyond what I think I could do through realizing that what is coming up as patterns of thoughts can be changed, the emotions that exist in moments can be let go of, and the behavior can be reformed into living that is supportive for myself and others to live more harmoniously and cohesively. It’ll take work and dedication, this is for sure, though the beliefs I have created about myself and what my mind has brought up at times that I don’t want to accept, is not to be taken personally, but understood that it’s just a programmed system. It’s not personal, it’s not defining me, I can only define myself and so I realize I can create myself in a new way. This is what desteni is about and why we are here, it’s a point to give a platform to support us to walk a reprogramming process of how self created myself through time and direct myself into a new way of life that is within principles that are one and equal with life and best for everyone, so the opportunity to live to our utmost potential is here. This I am grateful for, we are not defined by anything but by who we are in each moment, and this is a self creation process, so let’s create of ourselves in what is best and walk the process this will take until it is done, this is my focus.

Self Forgiveness and self commitments to follow in my next blog, thanks for reading.

More Support for the topic of Taking the Mind Personal:
Insecurity: Going Deeper: Introduction - Atlanteans – Part 248
Self Sabotage: Nature & Design - Atlanteans - Part 285
Moving from Taking Things Personally to Personal Responsibility - Reptillians Part 224
Self Sabotage: Personality System - Atlanteans - Part 286

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Stubbornness: What am I making more difficult then it has to be? Day 441

Photo Source

So tonight I listened to the second recording of the very supportive series from eqafe about stubbornness, and in this discussion they spoke about some key points that I found helpful, one being that when taking on the mind within the process being walked in these journey to life blogs as well as the desteni group in general, is we have to take on all parts of our mind that are coming up equally ensuring all parts are considered and taken on with equal capacity. I found this important to look into for myself because I to have seen myself go into a form of ‘favoring’ some parts of my mind I would like to change, where other parts of myself I chose to look the other way or push it to the future because facing them seems way to difficult and other excuses are used like I am not ready yet.

This has now come to the point where I have walked quite a bit within my mind and have made some progress on myself, though I see other parts of my world where I am still tending to make my life more difficult by resisting the points that are intense and serving the mind through following it rather then serving myself as life and directing my life in a way that is best for all. I have had enough with a specific point that I have been now walking over a few years and it still has had power over me, this point being the judgment of my physical body. I have made this process more difficult then it needs to be because I have allowed my thoughts to take over and the energy that goes with these thoughts overwhelm me rather than living here in my physical body and stopping myself through breath. I have proven to myself that I am able to do this in other points I have stopped, showing that I am able to do in all points of my mind as the tools and the principles as well as the living application remains the same. 

Another point that I have also found which had contributed to making my process more difficult is that I had started to write less and less and within doing this my application and effectiveness was becoming less and less. I realized what I was doing on some level was just living out the resistances I had already participated in my mind and now was manifesting into my reality as feeling lethargic and depressed, and so had no energy or desire to move myself. All a consequence of continuing to exist in the self defeatist thoughts and the energies of despair and resentment.  I made excuses and justification overpower my actual will to stop, and because I was not supporting myself with the tools that have always been available, I was not making progress on these points and so empowering the mind more then my living self.

And of course this had consequence in my world and reality, where I became more reclusive then open and comfortable with others, where I would become more reactive and take things personal rather than stable and understanding, and where I would go into deep emotional highs and lows and not stand effective in my application of change that I had set out for myself to do. So I realized that if I do not support myself with the tools that are available, the writing of self forgiveness and self correction and then living the change, I would fall more and more into the mind. The tools being the key for the walking of this process as doing it alone or going about it in resistance and giving into the resistance makes this process much more difficult then it needs to be and so the living of my life much more difficult then it needs to be.

Pushing through resistances in all forms and keeping consistent in the application of the basics as they are called and as I wrote above, is the support structure in place to support life to birth ourselves into the physical, back to what is real, back to who we really are, and allowing the stubbornness experience to continue in this way of making my process and my life more difficult is just plain stupid. So I will continue on with this point in my next blog and implement self forgiveness and self commitments to ensure my application of consistency and stability remains steadfast as I remain here walking breath by breath. Thanks for reading.

Interview Support on the topic of Stubbornness:
Stubbornness: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 154
Stubbornness: Overcoming - Atlanteans - Part 155
Stubbornness: Practical Application - Atlanteans - Part 156
Stubbornness: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 157
Stubbornness: Redesigning - Atlanteans - Part 158
Physical Sound - Atlanteans - Part 159
The Consequences of Speaking - Atlanteans - Part 160
Stubbornness: Independence, Dependence, Interdependence - Atlanteans - Part 161

Check Out these Awesome and Life Supporting sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site