Day 28 - Allowing Self to Flow - The Hips - Resisting what is here

equalmoney.org

So from working through the points with my gut, and working with trusting myself, I am moving on to the hips, where i am finding them to have gained some weight, and also have some pain in the left side. This pain is in the joint area where it feels as if it has been over worked or over used, compensating for the imbalance of my walk where I tend to put more weight on my left side when walking. So some words to work with here is overcompensating, inflexibility, immobile, constriction, and imbalance. 

I am seeing that due to my relationships in the past and my own self relationship with myself, I have allowed myself to become more left side dominant then right side, causing those muscles to be over used and over worked causing pain and discomfort. The weight gain i am seieng due to staying stuck in the past, not moving myself here in the physical through staying stuck in my mistakes i allowed and in this the expressions of self that i didn't live into. This resistance i am seeing of facing my past and what i have allowed in relationships for instance with others and myself, i am over compensating within my day to day activities, pushing beyond my flexibility and capacity where i want to do something, but i have not allowed my body and self discipline to catch up with the potential i am seeing. Not stretching for instance, spending the extra time to warm up before i go into the critical exercise and heavy tax on my body/self, but just move through the pain and discomfort, even though it is causing potential damage. This a lack of self awareness and self discipline, and essentially being lazy, giving up on my best.  

 Within my relationships, this is staying in a relationship or moving out of a relationship due to the thoughts of something is wrong or all is good, not working step by step with the physical and the reality feedback, but wanting it to be the way that suits me best for my interest. Lacking self honesty when in fact i require it to ensure that i am not fucking myself or another, and not allowing or accepting any abuse within my reality/self space. If i am allowing this in my world, then i am allowing it in others worlds as well, maybe not deliberately directly, but subtle it is playing out until eventually it comes to a head and all hell breaks lose and energy outbursts is created.  

Self forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to resist the patience and stability as self discipline it'll take to walk the step by step process in the physical to walk the alignment of ensuring the steps are taken i can see that will support myself to be the best i can be and ensure the consideration of all involved is well aligned and understood so all benefit as best possible not matter the effort it'll take as long as what is best and common sense is considered.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a desire to take it easy and work with my desires, where i can give into my wants and perceived needs within the idea that i am good, i can do it another time.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that time is something that i have to use with as i please, when i see, realize, and understand that everything has a consequence and everything is existing within space time and in my desires/ wants/ needs i am truly only considering myself and my small circle as my local environment not considering all life within the principles that i live within as it is in self interest only and not what is best for all. 

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be desiring to get my own way and in this not listen to common sense, but only listen to my mind as self interest reasoning that i can do what i want or i can get what i want and in that push beyond the consideration of all, and push to get my needs met above others.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame others within my reality about what has transpired in my world, where i seek out the point of desiring the punishment to go onto them as i believe i was done onto and in this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i was justified to harm others within my force of self onto others where i got my own way and punished others and in this believed that i won, when i see, realize, and understand no one wins. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful within and as my reality, where i go into blame and anger toward the injustices of others as i believe, instead of taking self responsibility for what i have created and finding the will to live something new that is aligned to others/all and live this change until it is done.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become lazy and apathetic within and as the movement of self to do what is necessary to be done to ensure a world that is best for all as i start with myself within self discipline and self honesty to forgive myself for my past, and walk a change process that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not have compassion within and as others and myself as a point of walking the change process as it takes time and ensuring that application of breathe awareness and constant alignment with what is best as what is best for self is live within my day to day living, letting go of the want desire of self interest and considering in common sense what i can do that is best for all involved. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful and angry when i do not get my way as i see my life then will be more difficult.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being and living life more difficult instead of walking my consequence no matter what it is and aligning myself to the solutions that is best for all life. 

I forgive msyelf to be in flexible within and as change when change is necessary to direct and correct myself to what is best and what will ensure i am able to do what is best in my living as this in fact is the only way of life that matters and is truly what i would want for myself and in all shoes if i had to live in them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to resist my past instead of accepting my past as myself, forgive it as myself, and change myself to align here with what is best for all as living words and living solutions to the best of my ability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the signs of imbalance within my body, prioritizing performance or outcomes over presence and care.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate pain with progress, instead of seeing that pain is my body’s voice asking for care, realignment, and change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush my process out of fear of not being enough, instead of trusting the timing of my realignment as breath by breath, here.

When and as I see myself wanting to push through pain or discomfort without listening to my body, I stop and I breathe. I remind myself that my body is not a machine to conquer, but a living being I am here to walk with in partnership.

When and as I resist slowing down or preparing properly (emotionally or physically), I realize I am sabotaging my own potential. I choose preparation and structure over rush and self-interest.

When and as I go into guilt or regret about my past mistakes in relationships, I stop. I breathe. I remind myself that I am not defined by the past, but by who I choose to be in this breath forward.

I commit myself to let go of the desire in self interest to get what i want, and align myself in thought word and deed to what is best for all with my money, my awareness, my time, my energy as i see this is truly the world i would like to create and raise children in.

I commit myself to never give up on myself as all life within the acceptance of what is here and taking full self responsibility to walk my talk in common sense to do what i am able in the space i have to align life to what is best for all through equality and oneness and what is best for all.

I commit myself to stand in self discipline and consistency as i change myself to self interest only to what is best for all as would be best for me proven in my living, and tracking it in my day to day operations.

I commit myself to listen to my physical body more, i commit myself to live the word gentleness where i care for myself and my physical that has been pushed beyond limits at time and requires compassion as self here. 

I commit myself to remain stead fast in my principles of life as self forgiveness, accepting myself for who i am and changing myself step by step as i let go of the past through self forgiveness and changing through living words that will ensure i am living the best version of myself within a consistent application and growth. Also i commit myself to get up from each fall, and stand as life until all life is free as i have freed myself here as breathe. 

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Self Forgiveness (Day 3): Only Seeing the Worst of Myself - Day 581

Art By: Andrew Gable

Find his Blog here: https://anartistsjourneytolife.wordpress.com

I am sure we all can relate to this point of only seeing the worst in ourselves in moments of our life, they may be fleeting or they may be the majority of how one see what is here. I have been looking at this point as of late due to understanding why I in fact do this? What causes such an experience to only see what is bad, horrible, fearful, and so the worst that could happen or is here? 

There is a few dimensions that came up for me initially and those were the habitual and automated way I have created myself to see life in fear and realizing this has been patterned and repeated over and over in my life thus far, thirty plus years of viewing life like this. The second is being bombarded as a child to be afraid, the one memory that is coming up for me the strongest is my mom telling me that if anyone comes up to me on the street or when we are out and try to take me, to run and scream and look for a policeman! This obviously made me see that the world is a scary and dark place, even if i didn't realize it so much at the time, it imprinted into me on deep levels, being scared of the world i live in, people are bad, and humans can not be trusted. 

This leading to the experience that i am to be afraid, we have unfortunately created such a world were life is not guaranteed for many and that we can not at this time fully trust each other, so there is some logic in what my mom did, and i do understand she was doing what she thought was right. Though, this is not the only way to live life and through my example, who I am in relation to life here, and how i live I can reverse that paradigm and instead see the best in life nad build the trust that is necessary to ensure life is trustworthy and humans are educated on how and why to live in this way as well.

Self forgiveness on this childhood memory:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the sound and intensity of my mom's facial expressions in the moment of her telling me to be careful and scream and run if anyone trys to take me out in public.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take on the idea from that moment on that the world and people are dangerous and people will harm me if i am not aware and careful of my surroundings.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people are bad and that they will do the worst of what can be done onto others and this includes myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that all people in the world are not to be trusted and could and will do harm onto me if i am not careful and aware of what the people i interact with are like.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take inventory and judgments of other people as indicators if they were trustworthy or not based on if they were friendly, the way they looked, the way they acted, and judge if i would like them or not and fear them, if these boxes were checked or not.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become distrustful of people around me in those moments of imagining a person taking me to harm me as my mom told me how to get away.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into petrification in that moment and see people as harmful instead of seeing people within the moment and allow the relationship to develop through time to get to know the person rather than just making quick sight judgments and defining someone to the worst of life in my mind and write them off as untrustworthy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see the worst in life only where i see people as threats and judge people as unapproachable, making myself isolated and justifying this as this is how life is supposed to because people are fuck ups and i don't want to be around them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only see the bad in people and thus only see the bad within myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only see the judgments of not good enough, not making the mark, not being friendly enough, not being cool enough unto myself as i do in my quick sight judgments of others based on fear and distrust instead of seeing the best in others and standing as this as myself until it is proven otherwise and the being needs to walk a process without me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mom for imprinting this fear of people onto me based on her way of showing help to me as a child with potentially getting kidnapped instead of seeing that she was doing her best and she also was imprinted with this fear and distrust of people.

I see, realize, and understand that the relationship i would like to create with others and my world is one were the best is the starting point of who i am in my interactions and within myself, and i see that common sense must be applied in case to case basis if it is realistically something to consider based on what is transpiring in physical reality.

I commit myself to live the word best where i stand within the moment as best possible to see what is best within myself or another when the moment comes to fear and go into distrust.

I commit myself to get to know the being and my self by opening communication and find out what is best about the moment or being and see what comes through.

I commit myself to use common sense and the ability of myself to create the best of what is here through perseverance and living it as myself.

I commit myself to be my best self in each moment that is here so i can stand and recognize it within others, so what is best is created in this life instead of the worst of self.

Thanks for reading.


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Dependency - Day 576

I have been seeing within this specific relationship I have in my head toward a particular being that I enjoyed and want to get to know more, but they are not showing signs that they want to get to know me more intimately and deeply. There is a couple points of reaction I am seeing causing this point of compromise within me where I am reacting in anger, jealousy, inferiority, and desire, and through this is based on projections I am having of what could be, what I would want to have happen, fear of lose, and so I am seeing this is all being created because I have allowed this point of dependency on others to define and so give myself direction in my life instead of creating this for myself.

This is stemming from my childhood where my parents always supported me with giving me words to who I was in a positive way, and so taking on this positive outlook of myself and in a way believing that this is all I am. Then others in my reality showed points of negativity where I would then start to question who I was within me due to a belief that I am defined by the words of others and believing that what is said to me is who I am. This obviously causing conflict within me, a desire to be a follower of others who give me positivity, seeking out those who give me this, and so create a dependency on this experience I get within me when someone gives me a compliment or an experience is created from the words or actions shown by another that is making me have feelings of acceptance, cause within myself I am not giving this to myself and directing myself through living words that are best for self and so best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on the words and gestures of others that give me an experience within myself of positivity, where the experience of feelings come up as energy that I follow as a ride I go on, and from there when the energy has diminished within me as energy feeling and so the ride I was on is over, I go into a depression, a sinking, an experience that I am now less because I no longer have the experience within me of feeling something ‘good’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself through the experience that come up within me as points of energy with thoughts of how another will give me something or gave me something such as a positive loaded comment where I experience myself different from the usual lack of confidence I have experienced myself within due to the lack of positive feedback I have received from my reality and so created this seesaw within me as conflict of feeling less then myself here as a being that is physical and present, and so become dependent on others in my reality to show me who I am and within that, be defined by the energy experiences within me as energy that comes and goes as the fleeting moments in time I participate in, which is participating in the mind consciousness system feeding off the reality I am living in instead of standing one and equal within it and directing who I am based on my living as words and so actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow thoughts within my mind of ‘I am not able’ ‘I am not good enough’ ‘I need a partner who will give me a sense of my self as a ‘nice’ person and through this compromise my stand as life here one and equal to all beings here, where I am not dependent on taking from others and within this needing others to support me to live here as a being of worth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience the words of others within me through energy as positive reinforcement where I have defined myself solely on what others say to me rather then standing as a point of support for myself as myself and walking with reality as me as a stand for life as a pillar within who I am as I live and so from here am able to be an equality and oneness with others in all ways and be interdependent in the sense that I am not in need of others to give me life as energy experiences in me I follow and ride, but I give life to myself as living words as my self honesty in action and so can give life as I equally receive the life of who others are here in return and thus expand and learn about life here in oneness and equality in what is best for all.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed jealousy of the relationships of others that is built on solid ground and are a living example of what this stand as this point and so instead of creating this for myself, I disempower myself through self interest and create jealousy because within myself I am in self diminishment as I am not as of yet walking the path of self forgiveness, self honesty, and so living change to become empowered within myself as I change who I am from dependent on others to standing as an equal and realizing the oneness that does, in fact, exist here and that can be created as this equality is lived through words I redefine and live for myself and so share who I am with others on solid ground as I am grounded in my living here by actually standing within me and without equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed anger toward others in my reality to have what I want instead of realizing, seeing, and understanding that this has nothing to do with the other beings in my reality, but all to do with my own compromise within myself as I am showing to myself that at this time I am standing as not willing to walk the path of correction, which is a process of realignment in my living to define who I am within and so to the without in self introspection, self forgiveness, and living change and become my own understanding and presence of life as I live the correction process I walked in writing or sounding within self-forgiveness to learn what it’ll take to walk the path and process of self standing, self-empowerment, and self real-i-zation of the reality of self being here in who I am as my words redefine to align and so become one and equal with my living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry at others in my reality who are standing as this point through and through, not realizing, seeing, and understanding that this anger has nothing to do with beings in my reality, but all to do with my own self anger as I am understanding within me I am compromising myself due to laziness, apathy, and non movement of the path and process that is required for reprogramming who I am in these moments of dependency on others and so creating myself in reality as a real being who speaks words and stands as my own living words as I redefine who I am in writing and sounding forgiveness and directing myself in my reality in total self-responsibility in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in backchat hate and spite of others in my reality as I accepted and allowed the experience of self-pity and self inferiority, through this only diminishing myself and my own stand in my reality as a being with integrity and the maturity to do what has to be done and walk the necessary physical steps of change required to walk the path of self creation in self responsibility in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for not showing me the reality of what is here and so blame others in my world in many ways for not being there for me, when this is actually a gift and doorway to the path of forgiving myself for my miss-takes and living my forgiveness where I change myself to stand on my own two feet grounded in reality and standing as an equal as I redefine who I am as life in words that are supportive and best for me and so will equal and one support others as well.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others in my reality and so diminish within the experience i have created of a belief that i am not as good as others or i am better, creating a lack within me and so a lack in my living where i go into an experience that i need something someone where because within myself i am not giving it to myself. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create competition to beings in my world that i see that have what i desire, instead of realizing that i am not standing within myself as a being with integrity to walk the actual walk it takes to stand as that beings equal in care, regard, and consideration of what is best for all, and in that spite myself as life and become compromised as life as a diminished version unwilling at that moment to walk the process of change. 

I commit myself to stand in the words integrity as my internal grit to walk the change necessary to stand as an equal to life as i live what is best for all in regard of all and create myself within  my lviing to be here present as the precense of myself willing and able to create agreements that is best for all and no longer need or particpate in mind games as competition, comparision, or spite as i let go of these experiences within myself as i walk the living change necessary within me and so give myself as life within  my living to create what is best for self and so best for all. 

I realize and understand that I am able through and through and in fact is the only way to walk the change process necessary to create myself as a real being in my physical living that stands as a equal in my words and so is able to be independent of the energy experience I have accepted and allowed through becoming polarized in my reality through energy as emotions and feelings, I commit myself to let go of thoughts through breathing, and live the word independent as a point of reference that I have a process of physical change that is necessary through writing and living words that I can direct myself within and so live that is best for me and so best for all.

I realize that I am whole responsible for myself and the change that is required within to stand as a plus one in the reality as my physical presence to align back in the physical world as an equal walking the breath here in what is best for all through living words of support for self and flowing like water in my reality to change who I am to stand in this regard where it’s about who self is and how self lives here.

I commit myself to walk the dimensions of mind compromise I am existing within that separates me from life here in equality and oneness in what is best for all and so the cross-reference I can use as support is the polarizing within me of energy and the experience of dependency that comes up moving into breath and living words such as independent, self worth, self love, and self responsibility to change self in the moment to let go of energy and physically live the correction to stand as an equal as my living matches my words that is here as me.

I commit myself to let go of the experience of blame onto others as I take responsibility for my own experiences through walking the process of self change to live as an equal to others and so live as a pillar within me that is self sustaining as I walk the process of self purification through self forgiveness and become real as a being that is in physical.

I commit myself to redefine the word dependent to stand as a dependable being who walks the talk of living words that I redefine and live in alignment with all life as so honoring the life within and so without equal and one as a being that is in fact equal and one and not taking from life and not giving as I'd like to receive first and foremost. 

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The Experience of Being Hurt - My Realizations and Forgiveness - Day 563

Who I am as being hurt by others?

When I am not considered within the point of conversation or interaction, and I take it personal that others are brush with me, quick, overlook what I say or don’t listen at all and go into a reaction, I see the experience of hurt come up within me. Like I have been disregarded, I am not respected, and thus I am alone in my reality. I feel rejected in these times which brings up the experience that I am not able to thrive in the way of my reality that I’d like to, wherein I am able to interact with others, take in what is expressed, and within that be at peace and calm within myself, and express back in a manner that shows a point of maturity that supports and creates life rather then disturbs and destroys.

So I am looking at this experience of acceptance from my reality where if I am not received in a way of getting some sort of positive feedback, I take it personal and become emotional within the experience of hurt. Hurt being the energy experience that feels like a pit opens in my stomach area and my being drops in there feeling lost, my body goes into a slouch and sinking experience, and I become quiet and reserved with others in these states. Tending to go within and shut down not allowing any communication or people to come in until I have recovered and in some area have been uplifted through a positive experience. Leaping from one area to another within myself of being hurt and being happy again through an external stimulus that I have used as addiction to distract me from what I am facing with this hurt experience.

So what I am facing within being hurt by others is the fact that I am seeking acceptance and comfort from them, which is where I get positive feedback and when I don’t receive it I become hurt and end up becoming reactive back. I will go into more detail with the words I live out because there are more. Though focusing on the hurt experience I am having, this will be for example when someone comes at me in a bad mood because something happens in there life and they are not super pleasant, I say something to them and they snap at me. I will experience this hurt experience at this moment and believe that they are being mean, and through this take it personal where my mood will change into being moodier, angered, and resentful. This causing many consequences that are not best for all.

So here I will walk self-forgiveness on this experience of being hurt, and let go of the belief that I need people to give me positive feedback to feel accepted in my environment.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience the people in my environment as hurtful when they express their own emotions in a time of weakness, and I take it personal believing that I am to blame or I am being rejected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as feeling rejected and left out if I am not received within the people in my environment in a positive way where they express themselves in a way that shows that they like me and I am good in there presence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the experience of feeling hurt because I have taken it personal in the sense that I have defined myself within the output of others and if someone does not show me pleasantly I believe it’s because they don’t like me and there is something wrong with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept myself fully with the flaws and the points I have changed into the best, where I realize I am in a process of growth and rebirth changing myself daily to the best of my ability and pushing my will to give it my all this life, and thus this is something that I have created within me and so within this I have proven that I am for real and that I can be proud of that fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek acceptance outside myself instead of living this word within me as I create a home as my temple within and as myself as my physical body, giving myself care, positive feedback, and acceptance for who I am and releasing the idea that I am not enough, I am not good, and I need to do something to be accepted by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need words of encouragement by others to feel fulfilled.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought that I am not enough, when I see, realize, and understand that everything is here, I am enough as I am life fully, and I am able to walk the process as I see is here to become aligned to life one and equal.

I commit myself to create the moments in my day where I give myself care, self-care within myself of words of encouragement, gratefulness for who I have become, and recognizing the perseverance I have consistently shown to myself through difficult times and challenges to pull through and find solutions that support not only myself but others as well.

I commit myself to redefine the word home where I create a space within of comfort, safety, and relaxation as harmony in the understanding that this is a place of warmth to be at ease and know it’ll always be here as I am always here, it is within me thus home is here as me always I just have to breathe and create the space for myself.

I commit myself to give this care and warmth I will commit to live to myself to others unconditionally where I don’t seek anything in return, but practice my self fulfillment through living different ways and words that support me to take care and be self supported.

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Real Love And Desteni i Process - Day 531

Here I share my process that I have been walking in desteni of redefining this word love so it's livable and substantial in my life. We can live love in a way where it lasts and becomes a part of everything self does and so becomes a living part of our world. This process is being walked for the purposes of becoming a steward of the earth and giving all life what is best.

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How to Know Yourself Intimately and the Desteni I Process - Day 529

How has the desteni i process supported me with knowing myself in a more intimate way where I can trust myself and walk a path beyond my fears and limitations. My purpose is walking this process is to become a steward of the earth and create a world that is best for all, the children to come, and stand as the solution within a self integrity that I trust within myself because I have walked each step of the way in forming self trust and self change that I am proud of. For more listen to the audio so you to can support yourself to live your highest potential.

More links to support:

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!

www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Self Supportive Material - 

www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course - 

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support: 

forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki: 

wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page: 

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7 year journey to life Facebook group: 

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DIP Lite on Facebook: 

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More on Where I stand with Self Trust? Day 527

When looking at my relationship with the words self trust, I have for a long time been doubting myself, this creating a feeling or an experience within me that I am not doing enough, and this belief of not doing enough is causing unneeded stress in my already busy lifestyle. One point that I see here that I can look at is this experience of not doing enough, because in many ways I do do a lot, I work full time and have many extra responsibilities that I am working on. Though within this, I still feel like I could be giving my time to more things, more activities, more projects to push ahead and spearhead my future creation of what my ideals are. In this spearheading, I see I am missing two very important dimensions and this is the time dimension, meaning what it takes to walk something into creation and also the understanding dimension, where I at this stage do not have enough information or still require to walk a process of self creation/living to specify and define who and what I indeed would like to create and so understand how to actually create this within and as myself. So pushing for something in my mind such as doing more, I see is counterproductive to the actual self creation process I could be and have to walk to create that which I would like to live in my highest potential.

So some points I need to consider is why I am not moving on these points that I want to change, and many of the shortcomings are addictions I have in my day to day living. Addictions that I am afraid to let go of, and within this afraid of change. So here I require to make a plan and move within this plan, so I can indeed create. Because if I don't start changing what is created is a resonance or presence of self compromise as I am not moving myself where I know and understand I indeed can. So if one is not creating self, then one will then actually be creating self compromise and thus self diminishment as I are actually accepting and allowing it, I have created all of it through thoughts, reactions, and living in separation as these beliefs, ideas, reactions, ect.

What I have learned over the years of walking the desteni I process is not to judge myself for these types of process points I have to walk, it is not to create any reaction toward self, but to understand the point, why it occurred, and then simple walk the correction path to change it. This is the most efficient way I have found as there is nothing gained by judging self for failing or becoming harsh with self, as this literally only causes diminishment within self, so really it doesn’t make sense. Though if you see you are judging yourself, walk the tools of self forgiveness, self correction, and change self within this to then stabilize, so the tools are incredible, simplistic, and specific to move self in this process in whatever point or process of the mind or self compromise one face. Again, process is a process of self understanding and self creation through self correction, so it will take time, patiences, and lots of mistakes, but overtime and as one persevere change will start to occur.

Here I will write self forgiveness on doubt:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a doubt about who I am and how I am living based on an energetic experience coming up of anxiety through thoughts that I am not doing enough.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into an energetic possession of fear based on a belief of if i don’t do enough and I lack and lag behind I will not be able to catch up thus squandering my chances to become life here in the physical and so fearing annihilation in the afterlife.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought that I am going to be annihilated if I stop pushing myself so hard and believe that i within this I will not be able to catch up.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to keep score of who is who within this process and how far i have walked and within this create a polarity of best and worst causing separation and comparison with my environment.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a separation with my environment due to the belief that I am not going to be able to keep up with others thus comparing myself to others creating this race experience in the first place which I see, realize, and understand is not real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create the experience that I am in a race and I must finish and do the best because of a fear of survival where I see, realize, and understand this is stemming from childhood where I would compete with my siblings to be seen, heard, and validated by my parents and so always strive to be the best.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to my siblings and believe I am only safe if I am seen as the best and validated by what i have done and could do by my parents in praise or admiration, and within this define who I am based on these words and praises.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief that I have to win and be the best to be able to survive and become somebody in this reality that’ll be safe and survive, and so within this create a belief that this is the only way it is and I only know who I am based on what my environment is saying to me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to the external world I was living in believing that that is who defines me, when i see, realize, and understand that I miss the fact that who i am is based on my own self creation and within this I am limitless to the potentials that I can create within and through my own self will and self awareness.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become stuck within the words and energies of others in my environment as something or someone that defines me, when I see, realize, and understanding I am giving permission for it to define me as I am accepting and allowing it to define who I am as I am believing it is true.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within not enough based on comparison and beliefs of self diminishment or self validation based on the instability of the outside world and the corruptness of the inner self creation process that this has on who I am actually creating myself into, someone who is separated and not stable within who I am as self here in self honesty.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take on others beliefs, emotions, energies, and words as who I am instead of investigating these words for myself, and redefining them in words that I understand for me and thus can live for me.

When and as I see myself moving into a point of self diminishment within my self living by accepting and allowing any point outside myself to define who I am, I stop and breath, and i realize that I am able to define who I am through redefining my understanding of the word(s) and so living within this redefinition process so I create me from self understanding and self awareness.

I commit myself to stop and breath when I see I go into a movement of either positive or negative based on an outside influence and correct myself into understanding the word for myself through redefining it and living it for me.

I commit myself to let go of the beliefs that I am defined by my past where i believed i had to compete to move into the process of equality and oneness of all life, and creating myself breath by breath through my own self awareness movement.

I commit myself to stop judging and creating separation with what is here, move into understanding, and finding solutions for what is here in the highest potentials possible.

I commit myself to move from self doubt as not enough to slowing down and walking what is here in each moment to the best of my ability.

I commit myself to move from self doubt as diminishing to self creation as expansion.



More links to support:

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
http://www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Self Supportive Material -
http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support:
http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Initial Impression Dynamics and Desteni-I-Process - Day 525

In this audio recording, I discuss a moment I met a man for the first time and what transpired from that initial first impression I created towards him. How can we support ourselves to direct ourselves in our world instead of being directed by thoughts and emotions, I share my story and how i have supported my self using the tools at desteni i process. Enjoy.

More links to support:

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
http://www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Self Supportive Material - 
http://www.Eqafe.com 

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course - 
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com 

Forum support: 
http://forum.desteni.org 

Desteni Wiki: 
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page 

Eqafe Facebook Page: 
https://www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136... 

7 year journey to life Facebook group: 
https://www.facebook.com/groups/journ... 

DIP Lite on Facebook: 
https://www.facebook.com/DIPLite

“Don’t Fuck with Me” Character and Solution – Day 507

Photo Source

This character I go into quite often when I am with people, I have created a relationship with people of fear and hostility based on the belief that they are out to harm me and abuse me. Though through walking my process and self investigating myself I realized that I am actually thinking this up in my mind and so creating it in my reality because I am the creator of myself and thus my reality. We are powerful beings, though we are not in control of this power as of yet due to how I accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility of myself and of my life to stand equal and one with what is here and live what is best for all. So here walking the correction process to change pattern by pattern, point by point.

What is creating this character of “don’t fuck with me” is a strong desire of self importance believing to be some sort of advanced being and within the people around me and whom I interact with on a daily basis are beings who are so harsh and troublesome thus not as advanced. What I have abdicated myself to not see, realize, and thus change is the way in which I am thinking and creating my reality as I am equal and one to the outflows of what I am experiencing within myself and thus my world. I am not becoming disciplined enough within my breath by breath awareness to change myself when these patterns come up with the thoughts of how ‘bad’ others are, how ‘ignorant’, how ‘disrespectful’, and within this creating this world and reality coming from my mind projection and superimposing it into the reality I am living within. This creating the character personality of “don’t fuck with me” as a defense mechanism, so I don’t have to look at myself, my own mind thoughts, my own behavior, and change within these moments to stand within what is best for all.

Here living words I will be continue to support myself with and expand within it’s understanding and expression as I progress, so I can go into a form of self expression that is here, present, and not consisting of energy or thoughts, but living words as expressions that are supportive of life.

So some self forgiveness on this pattern of “don’t fuck with me”:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of self exultation of myself in relation to those around me believing I am more advanced and more sophisticated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how my thoughts go to judging others as less then me and how within this I am diminishing the other in my mind to become more then and so become the winner in my own mind, not seeing, realizing, or understanding that this is only diminishing myself as I go into a form of suppression of who I am being and thus become limited within my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my thoughts as judgments direct me in my reality in relation to others not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am only defining myself and thus within this opportunity I can change and create myself within living words that are supportive of others and of life in general.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become hostile to others in my environment based on creating a scenario where they are being harmful and judgmental towards me not seeing, realizing, and understanding that within my backchat I am judging them and thinking about them lacking, and thus I am resonating and thus creating the hostility I am experiencing as this is who I am in thought, word, and deed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a personality suit of the “don’t fuck with me” character, so I don’t have to face the truth of myself, which is someone who is causing harm and separation within myself and thus causing harm and separation within my reality as what is within self is equally being created in the without.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within my expression as not good enough or not strong enough to face reality here and so go into a defense mechanism of “don’t fuck with me” character to not have to face my reality and who I have created to be in fear of people and not see, realize, and understand that I am creating this fear that it in fact is not real as it’s energy and it moves away once dissipated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become suppressed within myself in not wanting to face or change the hidden parts of myself that I don’t like and want to push away such as the lack I feel within my expression, not seeing, realizing, and understanding that pushing this lack emotion away I am pushing the opportunity to face it, understand it, and change it for myself so I can realize my strengths and strengthen my weaknesses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not face my mind real time and allow it to fester and sit while I continue to suppress the reality of myself as separating myself from my responsibility to change myself and stand within the face of my self in my reality to support with solutions and create them for myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to abdicate responsibility to others in my reality and blame them for the way I am experiencing myself within turmoil, not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I can change myself and so change the outcome of myself within my living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others and so judge myself and thus separate myself from life here in oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel so overwhelmed within myself about what is here and what I have to change, not seeing, realizing, and understanding that this is an experience I can change and live moment to moment, direct myself into specificity and efficiency, and taking it point by point.

When and as I see myself going into the “don’t fuck with me” character, I stop and breath, and change myself self into taking self responsibility for my mind and my thoughts, stopping them through breath, and living words that’ll support with stability. I realize I am creating harm and separation in my reality when in this personality suit where I could be creating stability and solutions that are best for all.

I commit myself to live the word care where I care for myself within stopping the judgment of myself. Stopping the thoughts of being hard on myself. Stop the attacks of myself and others in my mind as less then or not living correctly.

I commit myself to stand within a gentleness where I move slow and softly within my physical body, like a flow or breeze moving within the rhythm of my breath as I move out of the energy and into my physical stability as my body.

I commit myself to let go of the thoughts by focusing on my physical movements and moving myself in my body, grounding the energy through my breath into my feet and into the earth.

I commit myself to live the words equality and oneness as physical reality were all are physical manifestations and we are all equal within this, where no two are separate but expressing in our own expressions.

 I commit myself to create my expression within and as physical activities such as art or music and walk self forgiveness and self correction to the thoughts that come up until I am clear.

Self Supportive Material -
http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support:
http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
http://www.schoolofultimateliving.com/