My Journey to Life: #jtl

Showing posts with label #jtl. Show all posts

Thursday, March 17, 2016

The Blame Game - Day 501

Blame for me is something that is like a thorn on my side, I know I do it often and it consistently comes up in my world, though I am seeing that I can convolute myself within it to such an extent where I believe I can’t see it. So I am not self honest within this, I am not standing within a point of self responsibility to stand for myself and so eventually another to be able to see this system for what it is and transform it into a direction that is supportive and best for all.

Blame as a mind construct or creation from thoughts is something that I can see is not supportive, it creates me into a constant cycle of energy, where I am being directed like a carrot on a stick to this desire to win or be right and so within that believe that others are not right and others have to lose, which creates the experience of becoming lost making it more and more difficult to act in a self responsible way directing myself within what is best for all.

Winning or being right within my view point where I start to rise in energy and within that my physical tones start to rise, show that I am not stable any longer within my communication, but that I am starting to access the blame system. Because within the blame system, you don’t have to look at yourself in the moment, you can create all sorts of whys and why nots that you are not at fault and the other is. Though over time I have realized that that is actually the trap, blaming another person no matter in what context or what degree, is going to trap oneself in the perpetual cycle of up and downs of winning and lose. And in blame you never win, but always lose as you give your power away to your emotions and create an abusive destructive environment as your wake.

Blame is heavily influenced within competition and competition is created within insecurity and judgment I have found. When one cycles in the polarity of judging self thus making one feel insecure and then going out in the world and attempting to become superior and win, you become reactive and point fingers not wanting to see the actual behavior and consequences one is creating for oneself to realize eventually that this way of living is futile and will only end in frustration and limitation.

So when the blame system comes up, my buddy and myself have come up with some cool and supportive ways to move through this with a definition of the word winning, where I was been triggered into a blame spiral when I saw that I was feeling like I needed to compete and win. And so creating the blame game flow of making it about the other person being weak/bad and self being strong/good, not for real of course only in my mind do I beLIEve this and so it get's validated through experiences as positive and negative energy. This of course being unacceptable behavior as I am causing deliberately abuse to another where I could stop and change in this moment, but don't.

I will continue with Self forgiveness and self correction in my next blog, and also redefine the word blame and winning to support with more structure to stop this playout from occurring and change real time to a support being who stands for what is best for all life. Thanks for reading.

Blame Interview Recording Support:

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Making the Mind Personal – Day 468

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I have as of recently being looking at this point in my process where I have been making my mind more then it really is, where I stress and go into great emotions based on what is coming up within me as my thoughts, reactions, and behavior in my life. I realize this is the purpose of the mind, so from that perspective, I am acting just as I programmed it. And this is the point that I have been starting to realize more and more as it has been said over many times throughout my process walking with Desteni, this understanding that what is coming up in relation to myself and how I am thinking or behaving is programs, it is not personal in terms of it does not define me as a being, it is what has been programmed over time by myself without really realizing or having the tools to support myself to stop it.

Now walking the desetni I process, I have learned much about my own mind and the programs that I have created for myself, every so now and then, I get through a point or am faced with a point that really challenges my stand within this understanding of what I am experiencing is just programs, they are not really who I am. These programs come with energy, so it’s not only thoughts that I have to let go of in terms of reacting to them, I also have to let go of the energy that is attached to these thoughts. This has been a challenge due to the fact that the energy feels so real and feels so intense, and the immediate belief and idea of what is happening is that this is real, I need to react in this energy, I need to react to these thoughts and participate in them because this is really how it is, but through time and through my own investigation in writing and my correction process, I realize beyond this belief and idea of what is real, that reality is always here stable, physical, and in a way that is factual and able to be mathematically understood.

Though, this realizing of the fact that I am not my mind or my programs in the sense that I can change myself, reprogram myself to live in a way that is best for all, and I can really move beyond what I think I could do through realizing that what is coming up as patterns of thoughts can be changed, the emotions that exist in moments can be let go of, and the behavior can be reformed into living that is supportive for myself and others to live more harmoniously and cohesively. It’ll take work and dedication, this is for sure, though the beliefs I have created about myself and what my mind has brought up at times that I don’t want to accept, is not to be taken personally, but understood that it’s just a programmed system. It’s not personal, it’s not defining me, I can only define myself and so I realize I can create myself in a new way. This is what desteni is about and why we are here, it’s a point to give a platform to support us to walk a reprogramming process of how self created myself through time and direct myself into a new way of life that is within principles that are one and equal with life and best for everyone, so the opportunity to live to our utmost potential is here. This I am grateful for, we are not defined by anything but by who we are in each moment, and this is a self creation process, so let’s create of ourselves in what is best and walk the process this will take until it is done, this is my focus.

Self Forgiveness and self commitments to follow in my next blog, thanks for reading.

More Support for the topic of Taking the Mind Personal:
Insecurity: Going Deeper: Introduction - Atlanteans – Part 248
Self Sabotage: Nature & Design - Atlanteans - Part 285
Moving from Taking Things Personally to Personal Responsibility - Reptillians Part 224
Self Sabotage: Personality System - Atlanteans - Part 286

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Giving Up on Others: Clearing the Words – Day 466

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So when looking at this point of giving up, I went through some initial writing to open up the point for myself in my earlier blog you can read here, and for this blog, I want to look at some principles to help clarify what it is I am pushing myself to realize and move through within looking at this point of giving up on someone. I would have to say first that I do have a reaction of the fact of giving up on someone as a phrase in itself because within myself, I would not want someone to give up on me. I will clear this now, and redefine it so it’s clear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of fear and resistance when I speak of giving up on someone because of an energetic emotion of sadness come up in relation to the thought of being left alone and not gaining help from others if I needed it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a memory of being left behind with sadness attached to the phrase of ‘giving up on someone’ and create a dependency to others within the very fact that I desire people to save me instead of me standing as the stability point for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as less then what is here as the consequences that are in motion to be faced and so in a way want to resist this point of leaving others behind when this assessment is not clear nor based on facts, but based on emotions such as fear and sadness and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by my minds in energy and thoughts instead of practicality here in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that within the statement of giving up on someone it’s based on the assessment of the physical reality, where another is at, and who I am within the moment of decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I will give up on myself and so fear that I will not live to my utmost potential.

When and as I see I am going into a point of fearing that I am not going to be able to stand on a point or move myself based on clarity in self as self direction in what is best, I breath and stop, and realize that I am able to create myself in each moment here and that I am the only person holding myself back, I stand and move.

I commit myself to let go of energy of sadness and fear in relation to giving up on someone as I realize I am here and able to create myself each moment I am here to change and live what is best for all.

I commit myself to see the words giving up on someone in a way where it’s a decision based on reality assessments and that it’s based on what is best for all.

I commit myself to stand within principles of what is best for all when assessing to move on from a person in this process or continue to stand with as I am walking to create myself in my utmost potential and so support all others to do the same.

So when giving up on someone, it’s not based on emotion or feeling, but based on standards as principles I will create and move within that will support what is best for all within the other and myself in the decision I make to walk with a being in this life or let them go to walk separate processes in this life as we continue forward in creating a new system that supports everyone and so creating a new self that supports all parts of self inside and out.

Will continue with the principles I will walk step by step in the process of defining for myself who to walk with and who not in this life.

Thanks for reading.

More to come in the next blogs, thanks for reading.
Giving Up on Myself - Life Review
Giving Up: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 164
Giving Up: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 162

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Giving Up on Others; When or Is this Ever Legit? - An Objective Look – Day 465

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Here I would like to discuss the point of walking with people in my world and when to support them and when to let them go. Within me I have a great drive to make sure everything I touch, I give my all and make it work, if I don’t make it work within my efforts and it falls, I go into an emotional experience of sadness and feeling unworthy. There is this future projection of seeing the way forward as more difficult and arduous if I accept and allow myself to fall or fail in a point of challenge and opportunity that is here. I suppose there are some ideas and beliefs I have created about the moments of falling on a task and not living to my utmost potential. There is a form of certainty in the sense that I know what I am capable of in relation to what I have accomplished in the past, but also a form of uncertainty where I don’t know what my capabilities are within meeting new challenges and opportunities that open up in my life. I don’t always know what is best and what direction to take, this is the area in which I am requiring to understand better and find a self honest direction to walk in cases where I do fall on something I have committed to walk as well as where in which I can continue to push and not give up and when is enough enough so to speak, I have always had a difficult time distinguishing this.

What I can factor in here that I hadn’t ever considered in the past is my physical body, I existed mostly in my mind in decisions of the past where I would push myself to the limits without considering anything, but what it is I was trying to achieve based on the positive energy I would receive if I did succeed. So it was more based in self interest and not in consideration of all factors that exist here. So yes, the first one is my physical body, I am currently doing a cleanse for my physical and giving it the time to detox and boost the nutrient substance through juicing. This on a physical level is cool and I know will support me as my body has been through a lot based on my mind drive when I was younger. I am learning to curtail that drive and considered what is best for my body in a best for all consideration to all the billions of cell that make me here J

The next factor is considering the people around me, and that is also including my relationship with myself, who aligns with me, who is able to be supported and who am I able to learn from and be supported by others. In truth, it would be cool to be supported and give support, walking with all people at once as I move in my world breath by breath, though I don’t see this as being realistic at this stage as I am not at this stage in my process. What I do know is that giving it my all and finding solutions to issues is a sure way to support living to a commitment with another and finding the way forward, but what is the limit? I see that depending on where the person is at within themselves that this has to be looked at and consider, who are they in their words, what can we do together, what of our selves merges and blends well, and what challenge points come up within each other. There is a lot of factors that go into who to align self with in this life, and obviously for what purposes, this purpose I would say is the key to walking what it is that is important to self and what self wants to do while on this planet.

More to come in the next blogs, thanks for reading.

Giving Up on Myself - Life Review

Giving Up: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 164

Giving Up: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 162

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Opening Up the Mind Construct of Impatience – Day 462

One thing I am noticing recently about myself is the lack of patience I have which I have written about before, though it is still here. I am mostly noticing this within my day to day living such as becoming annoyed at someone driving slow in front of me, my dog barking at a neighbor, my dog sniffing a spot for too much time, the birds chirping outside my window, my pillows not being positioned in a way I am most comfortable, my room being too small, and the list could go on if I include my irritation toward the people in my world at times, I mean I go into annoyance often enough where I am now writing a blog about it and correcting it once and for all. Obviously walking my process from consciousness to self awareness, I am investigating all things and keeping that which is good, and the fact that I am creating a source of conflict within myself toward the my external reality through living out the act of impatience by shouting or speaking fast or becoming rude or not considering another equal to myself is showing that there is a point of self interest I am accessing, and so not adhering to the principle of prevention is the best cure as well as accepting all here as self, which is in fact what is real as all life is equal and one.

Now, this is a point I am writing about because I am still showing that I am being dictated by irritation and this steaming from my lack of patience’s with my world and so this external impatience mirroring the internal impatience I have with myself. I see in a way where these impatience actions outflowing into irritation is steaming from ideas/beliefs/desires/fears that I have created within my mind and projected it onto reality, so within this I am living from the alternate reality through my mind as my fears/desires/ideas/beliefs instead of moving with the pace of breath, here.

I have an example, which I can better explain what here as breath means, I take henri my dog on walks, and we go down paths with big trees, henri likes to run ahead and sniff around and explore the woods around us. I had the idea to hide behind a tree to see what henri would do, and I found I could not stand behind the tree for more then 15 seconds because I went into the emotion of feeling guilty based on his reaction of alertness and wonderment of where I was. I assumed within him he is going into fear, so I pop out behind the tree and he sees me and turns around and continues to do the exact same thing he was doing before he noticed I had disappeared. So here is an example of ‘being here’, Henri was living within the present (here) moment, where we are walking and he is sniffing, he looks back and sees I am not there and based on the reality of his situation, I am no where to be seen, he goes into an alertness where his ears perk out and he goes stiff to be able to listen intently. He does not do what I did in that moment, which is react in emotion, he goes into his physical body and uses his resources to solve the problem, making for much more efficiency in his resources within himself and not creating extra ‘baggage’ so to speak with going into the alternate dimensions of for example thoughts such as “she left me, does she not love me anymore?” “oh god, I am going to die out here, I don’t know where to go?” “what a bitch, where did she go?” (Henri hypothetical thoughts).

And when I pop out, he is not thinking “you are so mean, don’t do that again”, or goes into any physical indication of emotions like crying or aggression, he simply turns around and continues on with what he is doing, there was no reaction only stability. He was showing he was moving within what is here, he took in information in each moment, assessed, and moved within a common sense path using his physical body as support, he remained stable and continued to be stable for the entire duration of the exercise.

So a cool example for me to see what this moment of ‘being here’ looks like, it’s one where emotions/feelings are not visible or accessed but a physical presence of stability is shown, I obviously realize through walking this process that emotions and feelings are created through thinking, so when I access the thoughts as I used for example with Henri’s hypothetical, you can see how much more baggage and more taxing our bodies go through due to all this participation in thoughts and energy as emotions and feelings we go into. I was more tired after that ordeal within me because of the spike of guilty emotion laced in fear due to my thoughts that he was going to suffer in some way if I didn’t show myself. Dogs have a different purpose then humans do on this planet, and I suggest to check out the links below to find out more information of dogs history as well as many other animals, but for my process here I am looking at what thoughts, emotions, and feelings I am accessing and continuing to fuel through participating and living out the personality of ‘irritation’ and ‘impatience’ and the many dimensions that this includes.

I will continue in my next blog, thanks for reading.

Interview Support on Animals' Perspectives:
Animals on Eqafe

Dog Series:
Pets and Owners Relationship Review - Part 1
Pets and Owners Relationship Review - Part 2
Pets and Owners Relationship Review - Part 3

Pet and Owners Relationship Review - Part 4
Pets and Owners Relationship Review - Part 5