Day 14 - Hate and Blame as Anger Manifest

 

I have been dealing with suppressed emotions, the emotions that I don't necessarily want to look at or face/confront as they are shameful and uncomfortable, but they are here and they are starting to accumulate in my most recent point i am facing with these points, and this has been in relation to my parents. I am seeing that all the points within me that I have regretted or fell in, I am subtly blaming them for as I am seeing that it is a way for me to release the built up energy as I have been accepting thoughts of them so I don't have to face myself and so change cause of addiction, addiction to energy, laziness, and not pushing beyond limitations. I see and am aware of within myself though that in fact mechanically I am generate the energy of blame and anger within me by thinking and accepting the thoughts of blame/anger toward my parents in this instance and not stopping, breathing, and forgiving myself. 

So it's not actually really who self is or the function of life here, thinking/generating emotions and feelings, and reacting to others, it's limitation as it's illusion, it's a machine within us as us and all around, I am powering as myself within myself with outflows as energy creations from the thinking and so the body creates the energy as a by product causing abuse and self abuse and lots of suffering which is the horror for real. This is happening, i understand to a degree the process, but it seems like it can't be stopped, this another thought cause i can stop it and i have, it takes self discipline and self will/honesty and many others support points. The 'I can't' is a red flag to question as it also is blame and an excuse, why? because I am seeing in this self is unwilling to do the actual will and effort it takes to stop, so it's a matter again of discipline and self fortitude, I was also looking at how life could easily do this with me, blame and become angry at me as i do with others, yet it doesn't as that is not the principles and directive of life itself, it is here and walks the alignment with what is best for all as best for self. This is in the innocence of what is here as life, who we really are beyond harm/abuse/suffering.

I also see I am fearing and trying to avoid my consequence i can see, the facing of my reality where i can't blame anyone or anything as i walked the walk that i am standing within and also i see that again i am taking it to the worst case scenario, so here i see the solution, to walk out of these alignment points, walk out of the points of what i am working and creating in my reality with self acceptance and acceptance of what is here. Separating myself from what is here is the first point of self illusion, and in this once self accept what is here, work with directing it into a solution that is best for all. 

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think thoughts such as 'she is the reason i am so dumb, she doesn't do anything to help herself' 'he doesn't care about anything but work, he didn't take care of me properly' 'she is a robot that just wants to be lazy' 'he is a so nasty, i inherited this hate and anger for others because of him'.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed thoughts of rage anger and spite and hate onto others within myself because i am in pain due to failing to walk my consequence of my actions to a satisfactory degree and in this blame others because i don't want to face the pain and shame of what i have done which is not walked the path of self honesty in the moments where i was given direct and opportunity to walk it. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live in the opposite polarity with the beings that i am thinking and reacting to in negative emotions (in this instance) such as blame and hate, to when they support me and my life works out and things are good, see that i am in a positive stand seeing them as great and lovely beings due to the energy addiction i am seesawing in my mind within the ever flowing ride of the mind and the polarities that exist. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think about and allow the thoughts and in this react in the physical toward one of these beings in anger, shouting and telling her to not do something for me when she was giving me something she thought i would want/need. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take out my anger onto others and in this create a demonic disposition within me where i am not standing in self acceptance of what is here, and in this direct in the principles of patience, self honesty, and what is best for all life. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get angry within myself at others when i see its actually self anger for not standing in a way that is of life and giving into temptation as addictions and mind energy as good feelings/experiences.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that all i can do is exist in this energy, when in reality, it will dissipate through breathe and i can direct myself through self forgiveness in the moment and so stop perpetuating the outflow of harm and separation that is flowed out when i live into the thoughts and act them out.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the pressure that builds up through accepting and allowing thoughts and living into the energy creation is who i am, when in reality it is not, i realize i am of substance as life and that the mind is a separate entity taking but not giving back and thus I see when i live into this i am taking of life and not giving back.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for the thoughts i have accepted and live out as anger toward others in my world and reality as reaction when this is unacceptable as i am creating the actual reaction within me and i am the one allowing it to be lived out as i am generating the energy as i think and accept it as real by speaking and living it out as yelling/being harsh to the other.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become harsh and hateful toward others due to my own self dishonesty and lack of self will to live what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my reality wanting to make it about others, when i see, realize, and understand it is actually about self here as life here as myself and what i am going to do with what i see and what i create as what is here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thoughts as lies that i am accepting and allowing about the others when in reality i am creating and accepting these thoughts without at all standing and physically being able to be/understand from the others perspective and thus it is not logical nor factual with how the thoughts originate from as mind distortion based on memories/pictures/ideas/beliefs, all here say/lies and not fact as reality as reality is one and equal as life in what is best for all. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame others and not faced the fear of shame and self humiliation i may experience when i go deeper into the pains and misstakes i have made in my past and in this accept them, forgive them, correct them, and change to live in a way that is best for all. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to instant gratification instead of standing in gratitude for life here and the breathes i am giving in this time to be able to engage in my process of self change to life so i can support myself and my reality in a way that works and will help build a way where life can come through and find the will to live, as i walk this in my day to day.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe through the points of life here, but stand in a way that is best through forgiving the thoughts, deleting them, breathing through the energy, and standing strong until it's done and the energy release here. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself or others as dumb and smart, i see, realize, and understand that learning is a part of self creation as expression and is done within breath as a unique process of self realization in the moment here, and thus it's not a separate point to judge react to but part of self creation here as life as self. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed judgment of any being instead of realizing the others is me and i must forgive my reaction/judgment and correct and direct life as myself in a way that allows all to express freely without causing any harm.

I commit myself to let go of the thoughts in the moment with breathe and not allow myself to react.

I commit myself to write out the memories or speak self forgiveness on the memories that i am still reacting to to release them and stop the harm/abuse in my reality to others and myself.

I commit myself to live gentleness and self acceptance as i move through the pain of the falls/misstakes and walk the commitments to change myself and not allow this again.

I commit myself stop blaming others and see that i am one and equal to them as i am them as we are of the same substance and direct myself and so eventually i can direct reality to be best for all.

I commit myself to live in gratitude for life and this physical reality that gives me opportunity to be here and continue to have the opportunity to create myself in a way that is best for all. 

www.desteni.org
www.equalmoney.org
www.creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com


Self Help course to start the journey to life:
lite.desteniiprocess.com


Best for all life until it's done.

Day 13 - Restart - self discipline

I have been very unmotivated and feeling in a depressed state, I have fallen a lot these last few years really badly at times and it's been quite difficult to get back on my feet. The falls and the digging deep into regret and unknown circumstances created by not standing in what is best at the opportunities that are here that life give, when I miss those it's like getting back up from harden cement, painful, difficult, and makes one want to give up. Giving up seems quite cool as a solution in this state for a moment, like the mcdonalds of things, taste good in the moment, but after digestion and the body having to deal and face with the consequences, self feel it, the pain, hardship and the difficulty, so it's a matter of how much do one want to bear. For me, I am not wanting to bear any form of suffering or pain and definitely don't want to inflict it on others as well, though the understanding of falls does bear consequences and in this what requires action is in the physical, here as the breathe of life is gifting me the life tools of with self forgiveness, self corrective writing/sounding, and living the change. Making the forgiveness of self actionable and livable here in my life and so in this can then correct the outcomes to come and stop the consequences of harm/abuse and falling to be that which is best for all and best for self. 

This starts with self discipline, moving beyond limitations and self beliefs/ideas, I am going to start with daily blogging and in this living my self forgiveness as i blog/write and exist in my world. Self discipline the action of self that is required to do these actions and keep going, not giving up, especially in the times when it's difficult and one do want to give up/give in. No judgment but breathing and living here. 

Discipline definition - 

" is the self-control that is gained by requiring that rules or orders be obeyed, and the ability to keep working at something that is difficult.[1] Disciplinarians believe that such self-control is of the utmost importance and enforce a set of rules that aim to develop such behavior. Such enforcement is sometimes based on punishment, although there is a clear difference between the two. One way to convey such differences is through the root meaning of each word: discipline means “to teach”, while punishment means “to correct or cause pain”. While punishment might extinguish unwanted behavior in the moment, it is greatly effective long-term due to consequences being understood and societal retribution to wrongs committed , while discipline usually is the process of training self control.[2]" from wikpedia.

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become complacent within my daily actions of bettering myself and my environment based on becoming too much wrapped in my thoughts and self judgment and so lack the discipline of doing what i understand requires to be done to get myself moving and expanding beyond my limitations.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into my mind and think about the past and in this become unmotivated based on self judgment and in this lose my desire and perseverance to move and remain discipline to my principles and goals i set out for myself. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i don't have to be disciplined anymore due to my fall and that i have no hope to become life and stand in a way of honor of life. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i have no reason to be discipline due to a fall and in this believe i can just float.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thoughts that i can float when i see, realize, and understand there is consequences within this and that it is much more advantageous to stand up and get back to self discipline and the principles of life that i stand as and for as what is best for all life. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe being self discipline is too hard instead of just doing it. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to move into a form of self harm where i believe i am not worth it or have value and so i don't need to be disciplined because it won't matter anyway.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to accept the self deprecating thoughts of i am not worth it and so no need to remain disciplined with myself in actions that support myself and life as a whole.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not worthy and connect that to be lazy and giving up.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i am lazy and can give up, when i see, realize, and understand that this is not real and that life is always here to align with and stand as as this i understand is what is real and who i am for real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am unworthy and so allow the emotions of giving up where i go into a tiredness in my body and numbness and in this believe i can't do it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give into the energy that i can't do it instead of staying within and as the act of self discipline where i continue to move beyond my limitations and expand to what is here within life measure and what is possible.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed tiredness and heaviness come over me as a point of wanting to give up instead of breathing through these moments in the moment and continue to walk the steps of self change as self action through self discipline. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the past and my misstakes and int his continue to let go of the past and change myself here through self discipline and living action plans aligned with principles. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i can't do it instead of just doing it step by step.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think rather then acting in the moment. 

I commit myself to move into self discipline within my day to day actions where i see the thoughts of giving up or feeling unworthy and in this i use the living word self discipline to move through and beyond these thoughts and into physical action where real change of myself can happen and i can help myself and so help others. 

I commit myself to let go of the tiredness and heaviness emotions by breathing through the energy and doing what it is physical i am avoiding. 

I commit myself to use the living word discipline to stand and walk physical through the resistance to get the point step by step in motion as physical action.

I commit myself to make goals for myself to achieve and support my daily habits to be that of self discipline where i control my actions as outcomes to be best for me and so best for all.

I commit myself to do daily habits as my daily routine that practice discipline.

I commit myself to stop judging myself in the moment and breathe, and continue to live in the physical and become real by physically acting on my principles and commitments to make them real and best. 

I commit myself to let go of the thoughts as they come as my past and continue to move physical releasing the thoughts through breathe and self forgiveness as sound. 

www.desteni.org

www.equalmoney.org

www.creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Self Help course to start the journey to life:

lite.desteniiprocess.com

Best for all life until it's done.

Physical Life/Self - What I have Learned through Desteni and Eqafe - Day 597

I listened recently to the ants interviews on eqafe.com, the ants come through the portal at desteni and discuss about how they are operating currently in a survival type enviroment, they themselves are not seeking survival means, though they had a lot to say about human consciousness effect on the enviroment. This I will continue in my next blogs.

Consciousness of the Ant - 

Part 1 on Eqafe.com

First though, I'd like to discuss a bit about the difference between the physical/natural world and the human mind/consciousness, this to the best of my ability based on what I have studied of the subject with desteni for the last 11 plus years and within my own personal journey within many sources the past 17 years, so it's been a lot of my life. I am no expert, but I have been studying diligently, and the main point I have found that cause a disruption between the natural physical world and the human being is the fact that there is a lack of connection from the human mind/consciousness we are particpating in and this physical existence as life source. As we look around us, there is a distinctive difference between the natural world and human being's system world, I would say it's more undeniably clear then not and I am seeing many would agree with me on this, humans world is distinct amongst all life here. The buildings made of concrete, the structures as boxes we live in, the boxes we move around in, and the boxes we locate in throughout the day and into our personal living spaces (if we are lucky and have money).

Otherwise, you are in the wild/natural world, this world though is beautiful and magnificent in it's creational wonders and mysteries as gifts of the ever pulse of life itself, our wild/natural world on this planet has become brutal. Survival is the functioning mechanism at the moment of our natural world as human's in our quest for consumption have degraded a lot of the natural order and laws of this physical world. This due to the fact that human's haven't realized and thus forgot who we are, part of the natural world, one and equal, and thus do in fact have the ability to live this as ourselves and amongst the natural world in peace and co-habitation simply by living the natural order and law of all of existence - treat all life as how you would like to be treated, give before you receive and thus no want as you will be fulfilled, and all life is one and equal and thus all life is only ever in consideration in what is best for all.

Human beings have lost that connection with ourselves as our life force/source by particpating in the mind consciousness system - thinking and reacting, and thus fell from grace and lost our connection with ourselves as life itself. The key is taking self responsibility for self in this moment, and finding the will within self to understand who one is as the mind/consciousness and your current behavior that is causing harm to yourself and so others, and changing it within self first. Proving that who you are to all life as all life is aware, that you will no longer cause harm and will in fact be part of the solution to the best of your ability, and live that.

So as a human being, the mind as our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are a source point for the mind system machine inside us all and sucking dry the physical life source and thus our physical body until one day we die cause the body could no longer handle the stress and damage the mind was having on it. The body dies in doing it's utmost to live, the being within as the self is in shame and regret and will face oneself to the fullest degree in the afterlife. As Bernard spoke many times, this is our last life and there is consequence. The mind is a programmed system from within the  interdimenionsal existence of ourselves which is our inner worlds, and is being powered by our very act of thinking in our heads, this is not to become afraid, but to understand the circumstances we find ourselves in because there is always solutions to this, the solution has been lived and is being taught through the #desteni networks, #earthhaven, and eqafe.com platforms.

This has been discussed throughout the eqafe and desteni material, through the portal and the participants who have expressed on topics of all parts of life and the mind consciousness system, thousands of videos, writings, and sharings on these points have been expressed over the last 15 years since the portal opened on youtube. There is a process of support and networks all ready to support you on this journey of self discovery and adventure, to eventually embrace the mind as self and use it as it was intended, a tool for self creation. Through the tools of self forgiveness and living the change that is best for all life, we can in fact start to restore the magnificence of self as a life being here and thus once again restore order on our beautiful home and mother earth and make peace with all the co-inhabitants of this earth. Peace is a different state of living and being, it takes many steps based on the state of where each human being is at and the extent of mind programming one has to walk through, though it is possible, as the impossible is simply the initial phase of the self creation process of i am possible.

So do not fear, but start the first step, this is where i started and each being does on there journey to self as life, there are resources and support teams out there to help, so connect with us/me on facebook and lets help/support each other in loving and caring way. It took many years for myself to get into a relatively stable self, I am able to use the tools of desteni as self forgiveness to stabilize myself and get to a baseline grounding point, and it is worth every tear, sweat, and suffering that came about in this journey. We are capable, we are self responsible, we can make this world a place where our children in all walks of life are free. It's time. Enjoy self always and keep a balance of mental rest/relaxation through giving this to your physical self/body. Also, connecting to animals and nature is also great support for self balance, I highly suggest. Take care and big hug.

Check out the weekly chats on destonian.com, they can be every day with the portal, or Monday, Fridays, and Saturday's for sure at 9pm SA time.
Looking forward to meeting you there.

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com - Beginner Course in Desteni I Process
http://www.eqafe.com - Library of Existence
www.destonians.com - Desteni Group Support Network
https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesteniUniverse/ - Desteni Group Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/WLthroughgarbseyes - My Personal DIP Sharing
http://www.desteni.org - Main Website
www.patreon.com/earthhaven - Life Community Building Network

Dolphins and Humans Can Be Friends - Earth Haven/Desteni Research - Day 596

Photo Source

I don't know if this is the case for these dolphins, but it's cool to get a glimpse for a moment of how inter species on this planet can interact and live co-habitually, for this to manifest and be created for real with humans specifically and nature's absolute magnificence and beauty, we as the human being, each single one of us, must take self responsibility for one's thoughts, words, and actions. Any thing less then this such as reaction as blame or pointing fingers or fighting cause outflows of abuse and thus is unacceptable, so as a solution that has supported me out of the abuse and unacceptable-ness of myself I found self forgiveness.

This helped me understand myself in my ill behavior that caused harm, and so find the correction within the self forgiveness and living change. I am only speaking this way because i have been living these tools for the past 10 plus years, i am not preaching or trying to put anything onto you, i am more sharing my experience of what worked for me.

We all i know want peace in our lands, with our neighbors, with all the creatures of this land, cause these creatures equally have to survive, have partners and friends they live there days with, have children, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and close confidants, we are all beings here animal, human, forest alike. Though we need to walk the manifested consequence of what we face as fear and realize we are here and we are capable to change ourselves and so change our reality, which in turn will help others have examples of change, and we can start tipping the scales to solution oriented living and loving each other as neighbors and helping each other whenever it is needed no matter what cause we know in the same position i would like someone to help and teach me.

Let's use this pandemic and isolation to get real with self, and take action. Move self in the moments we have been gifted on this planet earth, our home and lets make it a safe haven for all. It's possible, let animals become your friends, the one's you don't like, start investigating why you are reacting, get common sensical with it, spiders are tiny little creatures that for the most part are harmless, you can research different spiders when you see them and get to know there species, flicking something away like a spider who is actually a living being that feels pain and going back to your candy crush game is not cool in any way shape or form. Nature and animals are pure beings in many ways and will mirror back who you are with a grace and stability that is only awe inspiring to me.

Check out the links of life and self support below, and let's connect, much work to do, but lets start enjoying ourselves and this earth in the principles of life as what is best for all as best for self and start creating the world we want our children to be safe and loved and cared for by all no matter what. Thanks all.


www.lite.desteniiprocess.com - Beginner self forgiveness course




www.patreon.com/earthhaven - community building network built with life principles

              Artwork by: Gabriel Aceves Higareda

www.eqafe.com - library of existences

Shame - Part 1 - Living this as a statement of self correction through self forgiveness - Day 594

Photo Credit 

Shame

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be indebted in the emotional experience of shame in the sense of weakening my life force as a point of punishment and harshness against who i am as a being when i accept and see i have allowed this experience of shame to be manifest as a being i have become that harms and abuse myself as life, where instead of punishing and diminishing me, i learn from this experience once and for all as the experience of doing harm onto another and within that allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the life/being of the other which is equal and one to me, and through this understanding and learning, once and for all change myself to stand as the living solution as who i am to no longer accept and allow this harm and abuse of self and so others to be done again, living the statement enough is enough.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to within shame desire to drown in it and experience myself as the most evil and worst being that exist, when i see, realize, and understand the real grace and integrity is within who i am and how i will stand up within myself in the gift that is the shame experience of the emotional baggage that accompanies it to stand within it as my self responsibility to stop in all ways my thoughts, my words, and my actions that creates and outflows within to the without any form of harm that is done onto another and cause another to experience themselves less then what is best for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience within me where i abdicate my responsibility to change who i am within my core as my self honest being awareness as i am fully and understand and realize my full responsibility for every word i speak, every thought i have, and every action i make is equal and one and will create an exponential outflow for better or worse that will create abuse as my outflow or will create a life giving measure that i have equally given to myself as i walk the change process within myself to the without to never allow and accept self abuse and thus allow the abuse of my actions, thoughts, and words to be done onto my world and physical reach, and so within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be abusive and harmful within my own mind and within my own thoughts toward myself, and thus accept and allow these abuses to be lived out in my reality onto others because i am not changing this experience within myself due to fear, laziness, and/or lack of will.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to run away from the experience of shame as emotional energy i experience within my body as i stand within my self core and realize i am no longer standing within the self as what is best, but allowing and accepting the thoughts of abuse and harm to be participated in within me and lived out in my actions as spite, manipulation, fear, and abdicating my responsibility for who i am within and as my thoughts, words, and deeds.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live as a statement of who i am in my living that i don’t have the will to change my abusive behavior and so continue to live self abuse and self harm which will be lived out in my reality as abuse and harm to others, and thus i forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see the gift in the shame experience and through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not yet have the will to once and for all stop this behavior of self harm and move into a correction process of my self core self honesty where i know the truth of me and who i am, and so do whatever it takes to stop self abuse and live the solution for self in what is best for all so my life beingness can manifest in my highest potential and thus become a plus one for life here in what is best for all as i realize i am the creator of myself and thus my reality as me.

I commit myself to see the emotional experience of shame as a point of support and use this experience to confirm and apply in my living application of who i am within my inner self core to the without to no longer accept and allow this experience of abdicating my responsibility to change myself in my highest honor as what is best for self and so standing and living this as my living declaration of who i am in my reality as a being that supports all in what is best for all as i have proven it within myself to do what is best for self as i change the experience of outflow that created the emotional experience of shame as self abuse to stop and live the solution as my living thought, word and deed until proven in my living reality that i have changed and the shame experience is no longer present as me.

I commit myself to live the word grace as a grateful pace where i stand in gratefulness when this experience of shame comes through and immediately within this grace apply my self commitments of living self forgiveness to forgive myself for the errors of my ways that cause evil in my reality, which is living what is best in reverse, causing harm and abuse as my outflow and using the grace of life to walk the change process i have been gifted to no longer allow this abuse to be lived ever again.

I commit myself to stop all thoughts within myself of self abuse as harm and ill will onto myself in my thoughts, by immediately in real time application apply self forgiveness and changing my actions to stand in the commitments of life giving self, as a way to live in what is best as i learn and understand myself through the for-giveness i give to myself and so can equally give to others as i prove within who i am that i am worthy of life and worthy of standing within and as my self honesty self core point to be an example as life as i have proven and lived this for myself first and foremost in my direct reality and within my self core self honesty point where i prove and so stand as the example in what is best for all as what is best for me.

I commit myself to stop the errors of me as shameful acts, which i have redefined as the a-sham-expression, and start living the real self of who i am as a life giving being that has changed my living will from self harm and self abuse to self care and self love in a grace of giving me the opportunity to forgive and live again in what is best as i learn and grow through my breathes as a being that can stand and support myself to live here in what is best in what is common sense and supports self in my own living application and then by the grace of life here give this understanding and learning of my living to others as a gift as i have given to myself.

Thanks for reading and please feel free to leave any comment or questions if you see fit.

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com - Beginner Course in Desteni I Process
http://www.eqafe.com - Library of Existence
www.destonians.com - Desteni Group Support Network
https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesteniUniverse/ - Desteni Group Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/WLthroughgarbseyes - My Personal DIP Sharing
http://www.desteni.org - Main Website
www.patreon.com/earthhaven - Life Community Building Network

Balancing the Yin and the Yang of Self - My Process - Day 593

Photo Source

For me the expression of the yin and yang is the 'masculine' and 'feminine' expression of ourselves, this most would have a picture pop up of a male human being, maybe in a uniform or a business suit representing the 'masculine' word and for the 'feminine' word represented by a beautiful women in a sultry dress and ready for the town. And for me for many many years, this also was how I saw the words yin/yang, male/female, basic static pictures in my head.

Though once one start the process with self-forgiveness and living change that is best for all in self-honesty, which is the desten-i-process, one eventually will come to realize and see more within and as these natures, expressions, and living words of the masculine and feminine. So for me, I have realized these words are not just words but can be moved into expressions of oneself in a way of living in a new or refreshed way for instance. Like for me, I never much categorized myself as a feminine woman, yes I am a woman, but I did not see me as this picture in my mind of this beautiful, sultry woman and thus I believed then I am not a feminine woman. So it was an idea created in my mind of what I had to do to be a feminine women instead of understanding and realizing that it is not a picture i have to become to be feminine, but a way of existing, being that can incorporate the strengths and expression of the feminine design within this world and existence.

I found the masculine expression is similar to a blueprint or infrastructure, holding the placement for the feminine expression to merge and join in as the movement and flow of the creative expression that colors the blueprint infrastructure with creative ability. Through this with the support of each one holding the balance of who they are within and without, one get a balance of the expressions in a cohesive and ever-expanding way to give life and receive it equal and one.

I found within my own process, I as a female within my reality had to step up within myself in confidence, creative skill, stability, reason, logic, and truth and meet the male counterpart within me and within my reality on a balance equal level, where the male within this equation has to become humble to meet the female on an equal balance level, where he is able to interact and receive the creative expression of the female in her movements and flow.

So there is a meeting in the middle so to speak I have found within my own self as the masculine and feminine within me, the 'ego' of the mind/masculine within and the 'suppressed' expression of my own self worth and self-respect, and redefining and living my own self-expression within these two expressions, I have found I was able to come to a balanced medium within my living reality. Where now I am able to move from one to the other with ease and express or become stable in moments where I see fit to walk as such, so stepping up as the feminine expression within me as my passions, my expressions in living words, my flow as a river of life into the extended lands of the masculine structure and support networks to be creative and see and live with and as my creation in wonder and awe. And be a plus one as the building and leader of the future to come for all in what is best, standing more in the masculine expression as blueprint, planning, and building the 'new' world we would like to live in and have our children live in. The balance of the inner dance of the yin and yang, silenced in-breath and lived in what is best for all through one's self-responsible expression. 

Thanks for reading and please feel free to leave any comment or questions if you see fit.

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com - Beginner Course in Desteni I Process
http://www.eqafe.com - Library of Existence
www.destonians.com - Desteni Group Support Network
https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesteniUniverse/ - Desteni Group Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/WLthroughgarbseyes - My Personal DIP Sharing
http://www.desteni.org - Main Website
www.patreon.com/earthhaven - Life Community Building Network

Self Forgiveness (Day 7): Irrational Fears - Fear of Microwave, Cellphones, Machines, Lightning - Day 585

Art By: Andrew Gable

Find his Blog here: https://anartistsjourneytolife.wordpress.com

I am going to do a few blogs on things that seem irrational, but in my mind have a lot of subtle and sometimes overt power over me in day to day life, it stems a lot of the time from childhood memories, so I am also pushing self forgiveness on these childhood memories that I still am triggered by in my day to day life. This one is about machines and mechanics we use in everyday life like lights, microwave, and lights for instance.

So a fear I have had for a long time and react to still subtle within myself is the fear that I am going to get sick from cell phones cause I have memories of being told that things mechanical are harmful, such as when my mom told me not to stand in front of the microwave or how aspartame will cause cancer. I have always been afraid of this world and the life within it irrationally due to just reacting to the picture or the sounds of the machine on a resonate physical level than actually understanding how the machine works. I will start walking self forgiveness on my childhood memories that are coming up with this pattern.

I was standing in front of the microwave in our old kitchen, I was looking into the microwave on my knees on the counter, and my mom came around the corner and yelled ‘Garbrielle! Get off the counter, the microwave can cause cancer!’ So I Jumped off and thought to myself ‘holy shit, I don’t want that’, so there was a belief that was created in that moment that I needed to be fearful of the microwave, reacting in like a shock experience when one starts to run.

So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a huge intense fright when my mom walked in while I was intently focused on the food going around in the microwave, how it spun, and just focused on learning from it, and went into a shock when she yelled at me, allowing me to lose focus and imprint the fear of cancer is caused by machines, tools we use, things that exist in the outer world.

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose focus in that moment due to hearing a loud noise and going into a shock experience where I reacted in anger and blame toward my mom for scaring me like that, and so went into anger and blame emotion in that moment rather than breathing and moving into my physical body as breath to slow down and find what makes sense to live next that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in that moment of yelling at my mom in my backchat, I lost focus and so awareness of my reality, where I allowed a belief of my mothers be passed on to me as I accepted and allowed it and so didn’t follow up in any real time investigation and so solutions that I could live to support me to understand my reality and how it works with more clarity and common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be shown the answers in life, to not want to have to do the actual physical labor it takes to understand how something works in all ways, and so within that walk the necessary correction processes it’ll take to perfect the point within me and so within reality eventually.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire answers from my reality, showing me who I am and what works best for me because underneath that desire was a fear of dying and things being over and done with, so gaining knowledge as a way to combat death when in reality this is a belief and non sensical due to the fact that it’s not about death but how this reality works that I must learn and fear is not needed in these living applications.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the death of myself because I have not yet realized and lived the fact that life can not die, that it is eternal, and that when I am in fear it is my own self limitations I am currently accepting and allowing in my world and so the world at large.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death and so waste my time on memories and reacting to that in repetition every time I see a microwave or eat food or hear machines running, I as see realize and understand, I can understand what these machines due with more specificity and find solutions to the points I am uncertain about such as the actual facts of harm on microwave pulses and what radiation is for instance, how is it created, and what causes its effect, what are there as solutions if any are required, and be open to creating the reality in equality and oneness with what I am interacting with rather then fear and separation and thus blame/self dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to fight for my self-limitations because I fear without those comforts in my life I will not find comfort on the other side of that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe within myself that I am not able to handle taking full self-responsibility of myself in this life, and so then create a fear of regret at the end of my life because I didn’t push harder. Instead of myself, working with the day to day life and taking my responsibility to work with what is here breath by breath, making it simple and direct, and so doing my best to handle what is here with self honesty and self responsibility when it comes up such as facing fears and being patient to find the solution through understanding.

Self Commitments to Live Change that is Best for all:

I commit myself to learn about where I react on physical levels within or subtle levels or even conscious levels within me to machines, microwaves, cell phones, fluorescent lights, unnatural lights in buildings, food additives, and within this take each one, learning about the physical facts of these points, also get the extra perspective from eqafe and open myself up to solutions that is best for all and so will be best for me to diffuse the fear and live with it in the best way possible or find ways to transmute it so it can be something of value for all here.

I commit myself to stand in self-responsibility in my day to day, breath to breath moments where I see I am able to walk a point of change within myself, and so stand within courage to face self, change, and stand within the responsibility I see I can stand as and do what is best for all life in common sense.

I commit myself to honor myself in this venture by recognizing specifically my triumphs when I do succeed building the self empire of life as who and how I would like to live and so be able to substantiate myself in reality with ‘memories’ of direct living and change that I myself walked, took responsibility for, and lived for myself in honor of all as self.

I commit myself as life to walk the process of learning from my mistakes, being open to all possible outcomes and understandings first before I stand and direct myself to what is best for all within a moment of decision, so working with living the word purposeful patience’s as I walk a process of changing myself in understanding and realizing the resolve to stand as it as I created it within and as myself.

Support and educate yourself on the links shared to live your best self:

http://www.eqafe.com - Check out the new unlimited subscription plan at Eqafe, it's fantastic!
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
www.destonians.com
http://www.desteni.org
http://www.earthhaven.org

Self Forgiveness (Day 4): The Elixir of the Mind/Separation - Day 582

Art By: Andrew Gable

Find his Blog here: https://anartistsjourneytolife.wordpress.com

Here I am looking at the desires that come up within me during my day, there is always something looming within, like a thirst that can not be quenched, a movement that I am reaching for, but is just out of my reach, a churning in the pit of my stomach for a taste of this sweet sweet nectar of getting my desires fulfilled, and if it does not, I go into a state of conflict.

There is a fine line between expressing within words and living words that are here within specific indulgences I have for a long time had an addiction in, the words I live must be specific so I give myself the solid foundation I will need to be able to walk the path of self-honesty, and transcendence to be able to indeed direct myself and not have the mind as thoughts, feelings, and emotions direct me. I have walked this path many times from addiction to self-direction, though it always seems to continue to challenge me, going deeper into the addiction patterns, investigating who I am within it and how I will walk in honor of who I am as life and all life here. And man when the mind as self as the addiction of desire wants something, it almost becomes too overwhelming where one just completely go into it and give in and indulge.

Self Forgiveness on Indulgence and giving into desire:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to give in to my indulgences in such a way where i do it in a possession of believing that if i don't fulfill this desire i will collapse and become miserable and irritable, and so i must just get it because this is my savior.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within what i do and who i am that i must be getting access to the things i want and cause me to pain if i don't have them such as the pain of desiring something and not getting it, and through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without the thing that i desire and cause suffering in the moment, if i don't get it i will be lost and suffer much.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe without fulfilling the desire that i am wanting that i will die and not be able to go on in my life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without giving myself pleasure within fulfilling the desire within me as the mind's quest for release within the energy that accumulates once the desire is fulfilled to make my god and so follow it as my savior in this life instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding i am doing harm to myself and my body as i am not in full consideration of all, but only seeking the high of the desire fulfilled which is the drug of the mind that i feed.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without the fulfillment of the desire that i won't have a good life and it will be filled with missed experiences.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in desires themselves and so become only interested in fulfilling my desire and thus becoming ignorant to my self responsibility to all life to do what is best as i would like for me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become selfish within my pursuits of my life in search of what is best for me, what makes me feel good, what gives me pleasure, while all the while ignoring how and who i am effecting within what i am doing in each moment i am here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into thoughts and emotions and feelings when the desire constructs come up instead of moving into breath and living who i am as principles in what is best for all.

I commit myself to walk the path of breath, letting go of all desires and urges for self fulfillment in self interest through breathing and grounding myself as the energy with the earth in realizing that i exist within all and thus i am able to direct myself in what is best at all times.

I commit myself to consider my body equal and one within what i decide to live and express in and see where my body stands within what i do and why i do it, getting to know the body as me and waking up to the path that considers both self and the body and doing what is best for all.

I commit myself to release my desire flow of energy release through breath and in the moment direct myself to consider and so live what is best for all here, day by day, breath by breath.

Thanks for reading.


Support and educate yourself on the links shared to live your best self:

http://www.eqafe.com - Check out the new unlimited subscription plan at Eqafe, it's fantastic!
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
www.destonians.com
http://www.desteni.org
http://www.earthhaven.org

The Principle of Investigate All Things and Keep What Is Good - Day 577

Photo Source

"4. The Principle of Investigate All Things and Keep What Is Good

I unconditionally investigate, consider, and introspect all aspects, expressions, perspectives, and avenues of life and assess what can practically be applied within the Principle of What is Best for All." 
- From the Desteni Declaration of Principle

Here this principle in application has been a ride for sure, in the sense that it is an adventure of sorts, it is a journey within reality as one journies within self and it is equally as vast within and without.

Though I have found when I stick to the application of what is best for all through changing myself in self honesty, the simplicity of life becomes visible, like I am aware of more and how things work on a physical level and this opens up these amazing doors as opportunities to discover, from the great to the small and back again.

This journey and adventure is also riddled with challenges and the unknown, so as this word courage has come up a number of times today in my daily life, it is fitting for this blog topic as one in fact must have courage. Courage meaning you have to be willing to face the unknown and at times face it head on because in this principle of test all things and keep what is best, you physically practically have to test out that which you are walking. Say a pattern of self compromise, as you walk the process of self change, you will face a number of challenges and uncomfortability, but the incredible thing about it is that you will realize that you are able, more then capable because we have as a species always underestimated our worth and potential in this life. Once you show yourself your own potential within the principles of life in what is best, which is the highest honor of all, you start to thrive.

And man you find your passions and you get to explore and discover who you are within these, you face immense amounts of fears, but you realize eventually it’s only moments in time and energy that is fleeting, and that your physical living change is no match to any mind dimension of sorts, thoughts, addictions, emotions, though don’t get me wrong I am continually challenged to my core being, the courage, the core gauge of myself to see who am I, within self honesty you realize this point, and there is only one way to get there, direct, facing the shit, forgiving self, and changing in what is best.

This requires a point of testing everything, so it’s to not judge what is here because it is all self, everything is a part of self because everything is life, same as self, once this is realized self starts to go deeper and understand who one is as life more, and the fun continues. It’s a self adventure, trust in who you are, trust in life here, support others as you’d like to be supported, forgive ourselves, and walk the solutions necessary to keep what is good that benefit each and all one and equal.

Support and educate yourself on the links shared to live your best self:

http://www.eqafe.com - Check out the new unlimited subscription plan at Eqafe, it's fantastic!
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
www.destonians.com
http://www.desteni.org
http://www.earthhaven.org

Focused Living - Day 558

How to Practically Live a Word - Focus

My current definition and how I see this word Focus:

Focus for me as how I have been seeing it and living it in the past is I am seeing as an undesired force put upon me in things that I did not want to focus on, mainly i am seeing my mom making me focus on things i had no real interest in like church or playing with dolls, this when i was little and thus being forced to focus on these things based on her needs and not my own. Also I am seeing school where teachers would make us focus on our school work in classrooms where i couldn’t get up and move around, and so I was forced to focus on subjects and topics in boxed rooms closed off to the outside world where i couldn’t move about in freedom, which i highly resisted. This would more be the negative attachments to the word focus i have placed in me. 

On the positive side, I am seeing the word focus as a means to an end where i get something, like money or accolades for focusing in on something, doing it well, and then being reward with some sort of praise or gift. Focusing then was done to inflate my ego or my experience of myself as superior through gaining something externally to make me feel more important or better about myself. So needing something externally like money or praise from others as a reward for me to feel something about myself in a positive way, and if i was focused in what i did I realized I had a better chance of getting these things that made me feel good about myself and my life.

My Redefinition: 

Focus - how i am seeing living the word focus is an actual physical movement within myself in moments where i become distracted in thinking and/or in things I am doing. So to live focus would be to move toward the center of myself in my awareness into the center of my body. It’s a supportive word that realigns my self awareness back to my center point and i am noticing that this center point focus is right in the middle of my chest, just above my breast bone and below my neck. This is specific this spot as it feels in a way like a source of strength, this strength is here within me as me and living this word focus when i move my awareness into my physical presence of myself as this center point in my chest and then i live it into the task i am doing I find my ability to live what it fact I set myself out to do becomes much more streamlined and specific, and I have less strain to in fact get it done. A support word I have found also is the words slowing down, which supports with moving from the busyness of the distraction such as thinking or getting entertained by something outside myself, slowing back to down to my physical breath and thus moving into the word focus which I again support myself with to move into this center point in my chest. From here, I move into the task I set out for myself to live. 

Contexts in how i will live this word Focus:

Work - In work i plan to write out a list when i first sit down at my desk and start my day, living the word focus, i am going to use this word as the redefined living of it to move my focus back to my physical body, working with centering my self awareness in that center point in my chest when i see i start to lose focus in my day and become distracted with desires such as checking facebook or getting up and speaking to people around the office unnecessarily just to not face what it is I must get done. Using the word focus and the action of become centered inside myself focusing on breathing and my physical body, I can move myself out of the desire to distract myself and stick to the task list i had made out in the beginning of my work day to stay on task and move through the day with more effective efficency. 

Yoga - Yoga is an activity i have been wanting to integrate in my day to day, though I have resisted it due to the uncomfortability in my body i feel in doing it because it is slow and hurts me as i am not that flexible. Here i plan to use the word focus to again focus my awareness on the physical, bringing me out of the distractions of my mind and into my physical body movements as i work with yoga positions and breathing techniques. 

Desire to give up at task during my day - I notice often how easily i tend to go into giving up when things become uncomfortable in my body or I have to put a bit more effort or even sometimes a lot more effort into something that I am doing. For example, I was bringing laundry up a flight of stairs and it was extra full and thus extra heavy. I wanted to give up and just drop it to get a break. I remembered this word focus with the movement of slowing down meaning moving out of my head in thoughts and back into my chest center point as my physical presence awareness, and from here i moved my awareness into my whole body. I found this supported with balancing myself in my body where i was using a lot more muscles and focus on these muscles rather then going into my head and wasting my energy in thinking and thus eventually giving into the desire to stop. So here i am going to use this word focus to support me in these moments where i want to give up and instead of giving up, center myself in my physical body, move into my self awareness as this chest center point, and from here as my self awareness is present live the word focus as i focus in on the task at hand and live that to get it done. 

Thanks all for reading and will report later in the week of how this is going. 

Eqafe Hangout: From Shyness to Self Confidence - Day 554

Thanks so much to Valentin Rozman for sharing your realizations and solutions you have walked in your process in this hangout.

Find the interview here:

https://eqafe.com/p/from-shyness-to-self-confidence-life-review

Interview synopsis:

"How to Transcend Shyness and become Self Confident within absolute Unconditional Self Expression."

Here in this discussion, Valentin and I will be looking at our experiences in our life of how we have transcended shyness to live with more self confidence and self authority. We will share what tools and practical methods we walked to create this change for ourselves. Also, we will discuss what fears we had to face and work through in this journey of walking through shyness and transforming it into self confidence.

These hangouts are for the purpose of educating all on the support given at the eqafe.com website, which shares through thousands of audio recordings the understanding of the human potential in this life. Where the listener can gain practical support that can be walked to help themselves become more effective in their everyday living.

The Sorrow of the Human Being: Who is I - Part 2 - Day 549

Photo Source

Within this point of looking at the current state of the human being, I will bring this point back to myself, back to the personal, back to who I am as the state of myself as a human being, and through this share my self and my experiences and realizations of how I have understood and so came to be who I am here today.

For many years, most of my life, I have been in a way feeling as if i am a shell of a person, the experience of myself internally was sort of like a self contained prison in a way, and this prison was constantly moving and changing, though always existing in the same way, like patterns that would repeat. I would get some pleasure once and a while, but this pleasure was distorted and confusing as I learned that pleasuring myself and pleasure in general was not the norm, and there was certain types of pleasures that were bad and not to be openly discussed and enjoyed, such as the pleasure of exploring my physical body or enjoying a piece of cake, it was always filled with a threat of some sort of harm being done on to me either with a stigma attached to self or a consequence that was unpleasant and looked down upon by others.

So I never actually truly enjoyed myself as pleasure, but was in sort of like a fog and constant fear of having these memories I had in my mind of the worst case scenarios keep popping up, haunting me in a way while investigating and exploring this part of myself as i was growing up. This also then formed into the imaginations and fantasies of creating pleasure in my mind, what i could do or where i could go and how i could live all in the confines of my own mind, but again this was never actually materialized thus it was a constant loop system with no tangible value created in the physical, that when i did get a chance to experience something pleasurable in reality it becomes an extreme, something i desired, something i craved, and then an addiction would be formed. An addiction is another prison as a point of self propulsion to something that i wasn't in control of because i didn't know why i was creating it and thus it became very difficult to stop it, seemingly impossible actually.

And here is where the consequences of such interaction with myself, my enviroment, and my internal world as my mind became prison like, this was due to the emotional experiences that i let infiltrate my being and take me on a ride that all who can relate, would really like to get off of. Yet, we can not, it’s a ride that continues, and continues, and continues, and every where we go and every one we meet are all on this same ride though we do not have any clue how to get off because we have no clue what we are in fact doing and we do not have the full capacity to know as it was designed to be this way. We are caged to our own internal selves, some cope well with this in society as society has been designed in such a way to cater to the enslavement of the beings that accept and allow it.

This we have all done and all participated in over eons of time, though on this planet it has become physical, we are here within a prison in our own selves, our own making, and we can even see the physical manifestations we have created to show to ourselves who we are as actual physical prisons we send ourselves to. And I can attest to this as i have lived it as i am sure we all can relate to this, and this anguish is energy in motion, it’s this ride, it’s the ups and downs, the explosions and the regrets, the fear and the remorse, the beliefs and the bullied, and so much more, we are seeking the good, the positive and avoiding, resisting, and running away from the negative. I am running away from myself, this inner turmoil, this cage, this prison, and within this running I am running straight towards it. What a vicious game you may say? It depends what your starting point is and always realize there is solutions, we are always capable of living and creating solutions that is a fact, though by the will of self it will be done.

What i haven’t understood for most of my life and the principles that govern life, and this life I speak of is the eternal life that has always existed, the life that resides within all, the life that is our physical world and the breath of life of each one. What i haven't understood was who i am, i never actually looked at this question, and within that i never believed that i could do anything to change my life. Though what i did know and could understand within me was there was a fire, be it small, yet it was here and it was burning in side of me. It was like an inner calling of my insides, something deep inside me, and this is the quest i have been seeking solutions for and so i started asking questions - the QUEST to Solutions. And this is when i found my saving grace, I found myself, and my self's ability to stand up within myself and change for the better. This has changed everything for me and everything about me, I am humbled by the understanding and also passionate about the change that is taking place internally and thus externally in my world because as within self so without. This is a principle of life.

As is said in the above eqafe interview quotation, ‘equality and oneness and what is best for all can become the saving grace of humanity’, so the solution is here, life is here, and self is here, the human being though has a process to walk to align back to life as we have de-manned ourselves through abdication of ourselves as a responsible being to ourselves and so to all life.  We must face our consequences, each and every one yet all equally and build again, stand before all life in humbleness and humility, and walk again in a structure and flow that never again allows what has been lived and existed in this earth as the horror and abuse. It is the time to stand for life within self and so within all that we are honorable and we honor ourselves and so prove this within our lives, our living, and in our world. The time is here and living solutions is at our fingertips, we just have to take action and this we is me.

For more on how to walk the process of becoming physical and doing what is best, check out the links below.

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Self Supportive Material -
www.Eqafe.com

Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

Earth Haven - Sustainable Living Environments -
Built on the Principles of What is best for all Life
https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4404004

The Sorrow of the Human Being: Who is I - Part 1 - Day 548

Here i am looking at a dimension of vulnerability that I have noticed and has more and more been opening up for me, and this dimension is the absolute sorrow of being a human being in this world. I am noticing throughout my living day to day through different movies, shows, people i meet, people walking around, and most especially myself because i am with myself all the time, there is this sorrow within me and i can see this sorrow in the depths of myself and also in people walking around and it’s like a horror in a way. We have become so lost in our everyday lives because of the state and condition we have participated in and created in this world. This sorrow within me that i have sensed and noticed within all humans, is deep, it feels like its coming from the depths of our souls so to speak, where i just want to scream, shout, and stop everything that is going on around me and within me to just have it all stop. Though it never does, this world continues, the abuse continues, this sorrow within me continues, and it just continues on. There is also deep regret as well and i have found this leads also to extreme amounts of rage and destruction due to the fact that it feels like there is nothing we can do about this energy, about our living experience, and about this world of horror that we are seeing play out everywhere. Some may deny this, some may brush it off, some may call me a downer or negative, but every single human being knows exactly what i speak of. It is unnamed, it is gripping, and it is fierce this force that i speak of.

What i have realized is that one of the core reasons and originating points of this rage, sorrow, and destruction we have exhibited in our living world is based on the response and experiences of our childhood. Where we are born into this world and as a child that is vulnerable, innocent, and helpless in many ways, we in a way ‘hope’ that we will be treated with care, real naturing care and understanding by the adults of this world. We though receive waves of powerful energies that make our bodies churn and twist and restrict in the most horrific and uncomfortable ways imaginable, some of us are physically abused, some of us are mentally abuse, some of us are sexually abused, and some are all of the abuses in this world. We have all been abused since childhood and then we grow up and do exactly as the adults in this world we learned from, become destructive, abusive, and horrific in our behavior toward each other. You may not do this directly, though if someone is abused it is equal and one to you as the abused and the abuser, we are both as we are accepting and allowing it to exist in our world, we are this world.

We as adults have become so accustomed to the abuse of children, not even realizing as adults that it is abuse because we as adults have become so brainwashed and programmed to believe that abuse, reactions, and destruction is a natural pattern of life in this world, we forget about the innocence we once were as babies, as children, and so we put it out of our minds, become distracted with survival, and so we repeat the same mistakes and abuses we hope would just stop as children. We as adults become numb, hard, and ruthless in the face of a ruthless and heartless world. And this we see everywhere, the absolute horror and disregard for life as the innocence even unto the most vulnerable among us in all species and forms. We are a race that has programmed ourselves through forgetfulness to abuse, ignore, distract, and destroy ourselves as our world and we pretend that we don’t know any better. We pretend that we are good, we pretend that we are righteous, and we pretend that we are not responsible. Though this is real life, this is our reality, this is actually happening to all on deep levels as we are all interconnected and equal in this reality. Nothing of mind illusion is real, no one is better then another, that simply does not exist….you hurt another being it hurts just the same as if you did it to yourself.

This i found is within myself what has caused such rage, such sorrow, such anger, and it is from the depths of myself, the abdication I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as and to allow such a world to exist as, abuse and destruction. The torment and destructive nature that we have gotten to within our world and the amount of abuse we see accumulating, this is a point of madness we are experiencing within ourselves because we all realize and understand that it could be completely different, something of a place like heaven on earth. And even to those words, we scoff and say ‘no, that is impossible’. Though we miss the obvious most often because we are not living the obvious, but the complicated as the multi-dimensional reality of illusion we have created as our mind consciousness system. As we see even in the word impossible, what does it read? I am possible. We are possible.

So words i have found have been a key saving grace for humanity as we have indeed forgotten ourselves, who we are, where we came from, and what we have within us as our own directive principle - a life force that connects all and is equal within all. Thankfully to those who came before and are here still, walking what is best for all life, walking the principles of who we are as oneness and equality, standing in full responsibility of self to stand as the solution and create it, I honor life, I honor those who walk with and as life, and so this honor is mine within who i am as my words, how i live within and without, and what i am sharing is that there is a way to forgive self, correct self, and so correct this world. We are much more then the beliefs that we/i have created for ourselves, there is great potential, though each one has to find, develop and live this within self. And this is where desteni has come in, not only shaping and shifting my life for ever, but many others who are equally as committed, dedicated, and steadfast in changing self to stand in full responsibility, correct that which is not best, and forgive self for the mistakes and blame perpetuated. This desteni of the universe as the process of birthing self as life is here for all and all are welcome. It’s a journey of self purification and in a way self discovery and life is here to support, though self must always walk through the door. We are the solution and i am in deed possible, so investigate, understand, realize self responsibility to the whole, and thus see that the physical is the solution, we are here on the earth as the physical, thus we are the solution - each and everyone.

Thanks for reading, part two to continue my understandings and realizations as I walk my journey to life.

This supported me today in understanding who we are as life and the power we do have in self responsibility through self change:

"Totality - Tow-tally-ty - tallying up and towing the load, the practical process of taking responsibility for ALL of /as self, where self through writing and self forgiveness walk through one's entire mind consciousness system and this physical existence in detail - walking self-introspection within, finding (tallying) all the parts of self of self-separation as consciousness/mind, transforming self's relationship with self to an agreement with all in equality and oneness, and within doing this 'towing the load' as walking one's physical-consequence as the physical-world creation that self created as consciousness/mind and within facing consequence: simultaneously develop/find/implement solutions to the future of self of all, to not again recreate the same process of humpty-dumpty's great fall, having to pick up your own pieces and put yourself back together again which is quite a lengthy process, but to be able to eternally stand firmly rooted/grounded into/as this existence that FALL will never again exist in this existence, as we STAND eternally." - Bernard Poolman

For more on how to walk the process of becoming physical and doing what is best, check out the links below.

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Self Supportive Material -
www.Eqafe.com

Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
www.facebook.com/groups/journ...


Earth Haven - Sustainable Living Environments -
Built on the Principles of What is best for all Life
https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4404004