Dependency - Day 576

I have been seeing within this specific relationship I have in my head toward a particular being that I enjoyed and want to get to know more, but they are not showing signs that they want to get to know me more intimately and deeply. There is a couple points of reaction I am seeing causing this point of compromise within me where I am reacting in anger, jealousy, inferiority, and desire, and through this is based on projections I am having of what could be, what I would want to have happen, fear of lose, and so I am seeing this is all being created because I have allowed this point of dependency on others to define and so give myself direction in my life instead of creating this for myself.

This is stemming from my childhood where my parents always supported me with giving me words to who I was in a positive way, and so taking on this positive outlook of myself and in a way believing that this is all I am. Then others in my reality showed points of negativity where I would then start to question who I was within me due to a belief that I am defined by the words of others and believing that what is said to me is who I am. This obviously causing conflict within me, a desire to be a follower of others who give me positivity, seeking out those who give me this, and so create a dependency on this experience I get within me when someone gives me a compliment or an experience is created from the words or actions shown by another that is making me have feelings of acceptance, cause within myself I am not giving this to myself and directing myself through living words that are best for self and so best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on the words and gestures of others that give me an experience within myself of positivity, where the experience of feelings come up as energy that I follow as a ride I go on, and from there when the energy has diminished within me as energy feeling and so the ride I was on is over, I go into a depression, a sinking, an experience that I am now less because I no longer have the experience within me of feeling something ‘good’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself through the experience that come up within me as points of energy with thoughts of how another will give me something or gave me something such as a positive loaded comment where I experience myself different from the usual lack of confidence I have experienced myself within due to the lack of positive feedback I have received from my reality and so created this seesaw within me as conflict of feeling less then myself here as a being that is physical and present, and so become dependent on others in my reality to show me who I am and within that, be defined by the energy experiences within me as energy that comes and goes as the fleeting moments in time I participate in, which is participating in the mind consciousness system feeding off the reality I am living in instead of standing one and equal within it and directing who I am based on my living as words and so actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow thoughts within my mind of ‘I am not able’ ‘I am not good enough’ ‘I need a partner who will give me a sense of my self as a ‘nice’ person and through this compromise my stand as life here one and equal to all beings here, where I am not dependent on taking from others and within this needing others to support me to live here as a being of worth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience the words of others within me through energy as positive reinforcement where I have defined myself solely on what others say to me rather then standing as a point of support for myself as myself and walking with reality as me as a stand for life as a pillar within who I am as I live and so from here am able to be an equality and oneness with others in all ways and be interdependent in the sense that I am not in need of others to give me life as energy experiences in me I follow and ride, but I give life to myself as living words as my self honesty in action and so can give life as I equally receive the life of who others are here in return and thus expand and learn about life here in oneness and equality in what is best for all.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed jealousy of the relationships of others that is built on solid ground and are a living example of what this stand as this point and so instead of creating this for myself, I disempower myself through self interest and create jealousy because within myself I am in self diminishment as I am not as of yet walking the path of self forgiveness, self honesty, and so living change to become empowered within myself as I change who I am from dependent on others to standing as an equal and realizing the oneness that does, in fact, exist here and that can be created as this equality is lived through words I redefine and live for myself and so share who I am with others on solid ground as I am grounded in my living here by actually standing within me and without equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed anger toward others in my reality to have what I want instead of realizing, seeing, and understanding that this has nothing to do with the other beings in my reality, but all to do with my own compromise within myself as I am showing to myself that at this time I am standing as not willing to walk the path of correction, which is a process of realignment in my living to define who I am within and so to the without in self introspection, self forgiveness, and living change and become my own understanding and presence of life as I live the correction process I walked in writing or sounding within self-forgiveness to learn what it’ll take to walk the path and process of self standing, self-empowerment, and self real-i-zation of the reality of self being here in who I am as my words redefine to align and so become one and equal with my living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry at others in my reality who are standing as this point through and through, not realizing, seeing, and understanding that this anger has nothing to do with beings in my reality, but all to do with my own self anger as I am understanding within me I am compromising myself due to laziness, apathy, and non movement of the path and process that is required for reprogramming who I am in these moments of dependency on others and so creating myself in reality as a real being who speaks words and stands as my own living words as I redefine who I am in writing and sounding forgiveness and directing myself in my reality in total self-responsibility in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in backchat hate and spite of others in my reality as I accepted and allowed the experience of self-pity and self inferiority, through this only diminishing myself and my own stand in my reality as a being with integrity and the maturity to do what has to be done and walk the necessary physical steps of change required to walk the path of self creation in self responsibility in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for not showing me the reality of what is here and so blame others in my world in many ways for not being there for me, when this is actually a gift and doorway to the path of forgiving myself for my miss-takes and living my forgiveness where I change myself to stand on my own two feet grounded in reality and standing as an equal as I redefine who I am as life in words that are supportive and best for me and so will equal and one support others as well.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others in my reality and so diminish within the experience i have created of a belief that i am not as good as others or i am better, creating a lack within me and so a lack in my living where i go into an experience that i need something someone where because within myself i am not giving it to myself. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create competition to beings in my world that i see that have what i desire, instead of realizing that i am not standing within myself as a being with integrity to walk the actual walk it takes to stand as that beings equal in care, regard, and consideration of what is best for all, and in that spite myself as life and become compromised as life as a diminished version unwilling at that moment to walk the process of change. 

I commit myself to stand in the words integrity as my internal grit to walk the change necessary to stand as an equal to life as i live what is best for all in regard of all and create myself within  my lviing to be here present as the precense of myself willing and able to create agreements that is best for all and no longer need or particpate in mind games as competition, comparision, or spite as i let go of these experiences within myself as i walk the living change necessary within me and so give myself as life within  my living to create what is best for self and so best for all. 

I realize and understand that I am able through and through and in fact is the only way to walk the change process necessary to create myself as a real being in my physical living that stands as a equal in my words and so is able to be independent of the energy experience I have accepted and allowed through becoming polarized in my reality through energy as emotions and feelings, I commit myself to let go of thoughts through breathing, and live the word independent as a point of reference that I have a process of physical change that is necessary through writing and living words that I can direct myself within and so live that is best for me and so best for all.

I realize that I am whole responsible for myself and the change that is required within to stand as a plus one in the reality as my physical presence to align back in the physical world as an equal walking the breath here in what is best for all through living words of support for self and flowing like water in my reality to change who I am to stand in this regard where it’s about who self is and how self lives here.

I commit myself to walk the dimensions of mind compromise I am existing within that separates me from life here in equality and oneness in what is best for all and so the cross-reference I can use as support is the polarizing within me of energy and the experience of dependency that comes up moving into breath and living words such as independent, self worth, self love, and self responsibility to change self in the moment to let go of energy and physically live the correction to stand as an equal as my living matches my words that is here as me.

I commit myself to let go of the experience of blame onto others as I take responsibility for my own experiences through walking the process of self change to live as an equal to others and so live as a pillar within me that is self sustaining as I walk the process of self purification through self forgiveness and become real as a being that is in physical.

I commit myself to redefine the word dependent to stand as a dependable being who walks the talk of living words that I redefine and live in alignment with all life as so honoring the life within and so without equal and one as a being that is in fact equal and one and not taking from life and not giving as I'd like to receive first and foremost. 

Support and educate yourself on the links shared to live your best self:

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www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
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http://www.earthhaven.org

When is Enough, Enough? - Day 559

I have been exploring and applying this concept of having enough with something and changing direction within myself for the purpose of bettering my life and having a positive impact on the world around me. Though, I often thought of this concept or idea in a way of feeling good about it, wanting to access and achieve this goal, feeling like i am a hero if i indeed say enough is enough and so live it. What usually happens in such cases where i just start imagining living the statement enough is enough and thinking about it, is that I would eventually fall because I didn’t in fact do anything physically to live out the change. Fascinating how we can trick ourselves in the secrets of our minds. You can also test this, start thinking about a pattern you want to stop, go into the experiences of how it will be when you do stop, and from there in the next hour or the next day go and implement the imaginations you saw for yourself to stop and get to your goal. You will find that it is very difficult if not impossible to implement such change with such swiftness as the mind did in your thinking. That is because physical reality is real and takes actual creation, actual movement, and this requires ones self will to in fact do change self and remain consistent in it day in and day out. It's an actual doing rather then just sitting back and letting the mind do all the work with thinking.

So what I started to realize about this idea of ‘when is enough, enough?’ is that I was making it into a personality, making me feel a specific way such as powerful, important, superior, yet this did not in any way help or will me to actually live the change out in physical reality. What do I mean by creating a personality or a persona? It is like creating a character in a movie, pretending to be the hero in the film, saying all the right things, moving in all the right ways, and moving around the stage in the choreographed way to save the distressed person, but all the while it was never real as it was make believe, not being who one really is because when one actually go to reality and try and stop it becomes like climbing a mountain thousands of feet tall not enough of self is in the actual physical reality to be able to climb such a feat. The mountain being seen as impossible, when it's not that it is impossible, one has to only build the resolve and stamina, build the self, and live the change necessary to see it through. This can only be done through physical effort and movement otherwise it goes into the mind and off into image-land where it's easily let go of, given up on, and forgotten because it was never real, self was not here living it, and so it is not done for real.

These dimensions I had to work with for myself to in fact become a person who was no longer desiring fake persona’s, but working with the actual reality of myself and through that finding a way to will myself to change to in fact live the statement enough is enough. This is where the real journey starts because I had to investigate and understand myself within the patterns I was working with to stop, I had to forgive myself and stick to the corrective process of change I saw that would indeed support the change needed to stop and live differently. Also within this underlying the whole point the entire time one is applying this phrase is the unconditional nature of consistency that is embedded within living the statement enough is enough. One in fact has to become absolute within the consistency of the principle of what is being lived or rather the why you are doing what you are doing and also through that I realized that I also have to be flexible. 

There are in moments new dimensions of learning that can come into view in any given moment as one has stopped a particular point one no longer see is best, and so this new information or knowledge so to speak has to be considered, applied, and see if it is best. Thus potentially dropping the old and embracing the new, what matters is not the flow of the journey, but who one is within it and how one lives self honesty in doing what is best for all as this will always be best for self. This will take time, patiences, and a level of self willingness to be challenged and be courageous to stop one's addictions and live the statement enough is enough, I will change so all have the ability to change, and this world can change to be best for all. This is the more difficult path because one is going against the grain of what has always been comfortable and easy for oneself, though this journey is most rewarding as it builds a empowered practical being that has a willingness and proven ability to change self when it is understood to do so.

The purpose I am walking within myself in the statement of enough is enough is absolute in the sense that I am willing myself to stop all abuses within me, in my thoughts, in my words, and in my actions to become a being that is self responsible and able to be trusted with life, and this is a decision and purpose I have to keep assessing, keeping in my focus, and applying in my everyday life. As again it is not the usual path or the easy path. My function is no longer to be of service to myself alone, but to be of service to all life because this world indeed needs to change, and if i can’t change myself how will the world ever change. Only self can determine the hows and the whys of the statement enough is enough for one’s life, but putting it into practice makes for a powerful being, best to walk what is best as this will always in turn be best for self and create a world that is best for all. We need more empowered beings in this world that stand up to stop all abuse and say enough is enough, I will stop and I will change to be the best I can be in service of all life, let's stand together as plus ones in the statement of enough is enough of the abuse to life, til here no further I stop, I change, I live what is best for all.For more on how to walk the process of becoming physical and doing what is best, check out the links below.


Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Living Words Process and Support:
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Earth Haven - Sustainable Living Environments -
Built on the Principles of What is best for all Life
https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4404004


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www.lite.desteniiprocess.com


Self Supportive Material -
www.Eqafe.com


Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org


Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page


Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...


7 year journey to life Facebook group:
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21 Day Self Forgiveness Challenge – Wanting Depth with my Partner – Day 515

Day 2-

Within myself I have always been a deep person, looking for and finding the truth of myself and this existence, I have been fascinated by this quest, pushing it and pushing myself to more and more depths, I thrive on this I would say. This is more a personal journey with myself, though with others, I have been seeing that there has been a desire to have such depth, to push for the meanings, the understandings, the realizations, and more of who we are together, though not all people are like me. Some are yes, though many that I have met aren’t and within this I have been struggling to feel satisfied with others and so only seek out those who support with this depth that I thrive off of. This has been especially coming up lately with my partner because we see things quite differently, it’s almost as though we see things in opposite ways, he tends to be more practical, scientific, and mathematical, where I am again looking for self introspection and realizations that will spring humanity into a new era of evolution and prosperity through this evolution of ourselves back to life here.

And it’s not to even say this is how it is, but this is more how I am seeing it at the moment, so within this relationship I am desiring this depth though it hasn’t manifested as of yet. I have been seeing that I am going into a frustration because of the two different ways we interpret and look at reality, so what I realized with a help of a friend is that every single relationship that we are in is unique unto themselves, there is no two that are the same and within this one can explore and create and express oneself in the uniqueness that is each one that we meet and interact with. This could be human, animal, or anything for that matter. I thought that was a very cool way of looking at it and supports with being here, living more real time and within this creating and expressing oneself based on the uniqueness of the moment rather then in the mind in comparison, wants, and backchat.

So I will do some self forgiveness on the desire to have depth in relationships and redefine the word unique to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a depth within relationships where I go into comparison of my relationship with myself and others, and create a negative or positive feeling based on the result of this comparison that effects the relationship within many aspects of the interaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want the depth of a relationship that I feel with some, but not see, realize, and understand that it took time and patience to get to a point where the relationship could be lived in such a way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within my life I need to have all my relationships have depth and introspection of life’s biggest questions to have a meaningful and substantial development with another, when I see, realize, and understand how limiting this is within my life and my relationships with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the energy of feeling good and excited when I meet someone who is deep and interesting and so go into a belief that ‘I like this person a lot’, when I see, realize, and understand that this is just based on a desire fulfilled and keeps me complacent in my life to not change and experience that which is outside my comfort zone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an emotion of anger and resentment when I am with another who is more interested in other subjects or things to do that don’t hold my interest and want to retreat and retract myself from the situation as fast as possible so I can go back to my comfort zone which is discovering depth and truth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow emotions such as anger and resentment toward another for being them, and not see, realize, and understand that this is actually limiting and diminishing my capacity of growth and expansion outside my comfort zones to new topics and doings that I would have never had access to otherwise.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like a person or not based on the feeling of excitement and goodness I go into when another peeks my interest of depth, as I see, realize, and understand that I am not directing myself within these relationships, but being moved by energy and dismissing beings equal to myself with equally something to share that is substantial and meaningful in whatever unique way is created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the uniqueness of each and every relationship I am in based on the very nature of life itself, it is always changing, ever expanding, and ever creating and within this one can expand and grow with and as life as one walks with others in their life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others based on this belief that I need depth and not see, realize, and understand everyone has meaning and everyone has a unique expression to share and learn from.

I commit myself to move into a uniqueness of each moment I am in, exploring the moment with another, expressing myself within depth and/or expression whenever it is here to express.

I commit myself to move myself into new opportunities and within my relationships to expand and grow in learning about others no matter who or how they live and seeing what we can walk together in what is best for all.

I commit myself to live unique which is walking without comparison with others and finding the individual expression that everyone I meet has to share and exploring and enjoying myself within these moments.

Self Supportive Material -
http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support:
http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
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Eqafe Facebook Page:
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7 year journey to life Facebook group:
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DIP Lite on Facebook:
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Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
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Intimacy - The Foundation for An Empowered Being Part 1 - Day 500

Intimacy is a form of self depth where there is more substantial understanding and investigating of self done, letting go of fears and judgments in a way of deeper understanding and so deeper satisfaction through connecting to the real self, the one who is yearning for substance that will be best within what I am living and how I am treating others as well as myself.

Intimacy also I am seeing it as brutal self honesty were I am not hiding or ignoring any part of myself, but looking at me in a reality sense, direct, and for the purposes of learning and growing to become better. There is a gentleness factor like a mothers touch with a child that I am also seeing is needed based on the nature of what I may find within the depths of self, that it is not to judge self or become emotional in any way, but to realize these were miss takes or actions that were done in ignorance or denying self's participation of the full outflows that may potentially play out. What one can commit to within living the word intimacy is a realization to become open and vulnerable with oneself and so with say a partner whom you are in a relationship with. This can bear rewarding fruit that will birth a more intimate connection with who one is and the other and so a more fulfilling existence with oneself and together. This is because it becomes more then surface knowledge of who each one is which is much more mind based, meaning interpretations, assumptions, perceptions of the other. Through a more intimate connection it becomes more real and direct because you are letting yourself into see you as well as letting another in to see the real you as well, so real life is being lived not a facade we are so use to playing into.

So the way I am seeing it is that becoming intimate is scary in a sense because it feels like you are open to attack, though through becoming caring with yourself and with another, you will support the relationship to become something extra ordinary as the beingness of the beings start to connect, the life within, which starts to supersede the fear and competition layers which is based on survival, and the real selves come through, that which wants to create, grow, and expand into one's world and reality.

Being truthful with yourself and so another is a gift that is able to be given because once you see the truth of self, take hold of it and ownership of it, then you can start the process of change and correction. This builds self trust and trust in relationship with another, like a partner, which creates the platform for lasting honor and respect. This is something for me that I can see I would like for myself and another, living the word intimate and connecting on a more deep level then the usual connections of human beings is something I am committed to live and give to others in my world.

Intimacy –

In to me I see

Enter my sea

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming intimate with myself for fear that I will be embarrassed with what I find.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become embarrassed based on what I find in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my mind personally instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that the information coming up is programs and systems that I have created unconsciously and subconsciously and that they are able to be transformed and changed into something that supports me in the best way possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear of becoming intimate with myself and then not being able to handle what I find.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that becoming intimate with myself I will not know how to create that which I desire within this point of intimacy which is a connection to myself in a deep and meaningful way and so to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a certain feeling of closeness and peacefulness when I connect with myself or another in living the word intimate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have expectations in what living the word intimate will be like where it’s based on a feeling I will get that makes me feel warm and comfortable inside instead of living this word in my reality where I create intimacy with myself and my partner by what I do and what I say/share rather then getting it through a feeling by someone else’s words/actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be given intimacy by others rather than give it to myself because I believe I am not feminine enough and not gentle enough to have this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not feminine enough to be intimate with myself or another and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate feminine with intimacy when I see, realize, and understand that it’s not a matter of being a specific way but living and acting in specific ways through my self expressing and living words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear seeing all of me and so fear being intimate with myself in all levels.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as harsh and not gentle, and so from here believe that I can’t be intimate with myself or another.

I commit myself to let go of all judgments of what intimacy should be or look like within me and live this word in my world where I remain in self honesty and stop the fear of being open with who I am on all levels.

I commit myself to live the word care, understanding, unconditional listening, and self trust within exploring and becoming intimate with myself.

I commit myself to share myself with out condition to myself and so my partner to build the depth and trust of myself and another to become connected as beings on a level of real value which is our real selves and be open to give as I would like to receive.

So to live the word intimacy is to with a soft touch see me and another for real in a direct and self honest way.

So living the word intimacy practically would look like:

-take care of my physical body through slowing down, having fun/play time, and being outdoors.

-setting a comfortable space where I am relaxed, the room is dim and there is soothing lighting like a candle or soft lights to write.

-in the writing use a topic that I am busy investigating about myself and open it up in detail and within that create ways to live it in my world.

-share the information I found about this investigating with my partner so he is also understanding where I am at and how he can support me to live the words I am practicing to live.

-in my mental realm, stopping and doing forgiveness on any self abusive back chat thoughts that cause me to go into a inferior stand in my reality.

-speak within me words that are supportive for my self development as a life being and practice day by day living these words to empower myself and so those around me.

-express myself with my partner in deep and meaningful ways where I share myself in a stable/calm way that is deep and opening up myself to him.

-express care and appreciation for myself through giving me time to enjoy the pleasures of life such as a bath, a nature walk, a tea and book, a massage, or time to breathe and become self aware.

Check out more support at:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Others Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Relationship Success Support: Moving In Together - Day 494

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QN_ez2F7cZs

My partner and I discussing what it's been like living together, and the trials and triumphs of going through the process of moving in together and create a life together. Henri has been a support for us both, so we are grateful for him, each other, Joao and Cerise for also sharing the perspectives, and all those who stand up for life and live what is best for all. Enjoy and thanks for watching. 

Desteni-I-Process - Agreement Support - Day 476

My partner and I have been walking an agreement for two years now. I share here my perspective of this process and how it has effected my life and process I am walking to live my highest potential. Enjoy.

http://www.desteniiprocess.com
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
http://www.forum.desteni.org
http://www.eqafe.com
http://www.destonians.com

What was my backchat about tonight? Day 424

About Being controlled through the implications of the words being used.

Creating anger towards him based on believing this statement is true that I am being controlled.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the back chat I created of assuming the words being used was based and implied to show control  over me and form me into someone that I am not in awareness directing as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can be controlled.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to control others and desire to control others to get what I want out of the situation and have my will be dominate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to control others for my own self interest and exist within the point of not wanting to form agreements and find solutions because I want to win as I am being driven by ego and competition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within competition and so exist within self compromise because I realize I am only competing with myself and so fighting against myself as life here is all me. I must will solutions for them to be for real for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is someone who exist within an absolute knowledge of who I am and that I don’t need to or want to listen to anyone else telling me either in reaction or in real introspection who I am within what I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the information based on the one giving the information as I have judged them within it and so skewed the whole point being presented instead of a learning process and an opportunity to expand myself to then go into my mind and reacting and feed energy as anger and frustration towards others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personal that I being told what to do and given directions within being informed within it of what is happening and what is being done and so within this go into an energy of ‘f that’ and not wanting to cooperate or find solutions with others in my reality, and stop separating myself and causing abuse, and breath, look again, see what all the options are, and create a path as a solution that will support all involved as I realize, see, and understand that this option is here and I can decide to live it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into ego and self interest where I want to win and be right and compete with this being and not become humble and let go of these desires to fight and compete, and so miss the opportunity to create the path for peaceful resolutions that are available if I but walk it into reality and stop my mind from reacting and going into alternate realities as imagination, backchat, and projected play outs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk self forgiveness on the point and not implement the forgiveness realization within the next breaths I took and so create a passive aggression within the forgiveness I am speaking which is only diminishing myself and so creating the diminishment of my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my reality within who I have become as my living action and so create abuse rather then slowing down and finding the solutions that will support growth and intimacy with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not desire to get close to others and develop intimacy because I am afraid of being hurt and so will fight and disagree within this desire to not have to face this fear with others of being hurt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept fear as my reality instead of standing up within and determining myself within my own self will to stand as integrity lived and stop the emotions though embracing them and moving them through me as I see they no longer serve me, and walk the stability of being here, and the solutions that will open up as I see more of what here is as the distractions of energy as emotions has been released.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to stop energy and let go of my ego because I have become safe within it and determined who I am as it, and this comfort I do not want to give up, but I realize, and see, and understand that this comfort is not real comfort as it’s only based on stagnation and abuse as separation with others as I become isolated and shut myself off from others to not have to face this discomfort that is happening when I move beyond my fear and face my reality I have created and so this comfort is actually not real because it never leads to lasting comfort as stability within self.

When and as I see I am going into my backchat and starting to critic and think about others in blame, I stop and breath, and realize that this is only going to cause the self diminishment of me and stop the process of self expansion within my reality and intimacy with others that I can create as solution process that will be opening up if I just stop energy and walk with others in humbleness.

I commit myself to stop going into backchat through breath and embracing myself as it and releasing it as I realize it is not who I am, I do not define myself as this any more, and let it go.

I commit myself to breath until I am stable and then walk self forgiveness on the points I see I wanted to blame others or compromise myself with in separation to my world.

I commit myself to let go of judgments of others as I realize this is only judging and condemning myself.

I commit myself to in all it’s forms breath and find solutions that will support life and what is best for all through humbleness process of releasing my ego through self forgiveness and breathing and self correction, and walking this correction as solutions with others in my world and reality to create a better world.

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