Day 184 – Introduction to My Anxiety – Fear of Not Making It – Part 3.2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not making it in this world due to the belief that who I am is not good enough or capable enough to live what it takes to become successful in this system. I realize that within this belief that I am not good enough, I am sabotaging myself within my starting point when walking this point of anything I am doing, and will not become my fullest potential because I am notseeing myself at the optimum I can be which is in equality with others.

I commit myself to when and as I go into this belief of seeing myself less then others and thus living this out in my actions of not going for things full out, I stop and breath, and do not accept myself to live into this point of self sabotage by doing things full out in the best I can and not participating in the thoughts that say I can’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of self sabotage within believing that I am not good enough compared to other people and thus accepted this fear of that I am not going to make it, because I am basing myself in comparison with the ideas I have in my head of what it takes to make it. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed pictures of successful people in business suits with nice and fancies clothes, cars and gadgets that look very proper and done up, and within myself believe that I can never be this way because I don’t see myself keeping everything together as I don’t have the patience’s to do so. I realize that within this point of judging a picture as more then me and then comparing myself to these people in the external world that fit this picture, I am creating the platform for self sabotage as I can’t compete with a picture in my mind I am holding as the standard of what success is as this is not real success put only living into imagination as the mind, and never truly living my own success within my own living in my own physical doing. I also realize that within this point of patience’s it is to practice and become consistent within the patience with myself to learn and thus physically practice and become proficient within a point of study so I can realize how to do something within understanding within each detail and each step that it will take, so thus embrace patience’s within and as my own self doing and living, and stop the rush to get things done within a heist of what others may or will think.

I commit myself to when and as I go into this desire to be successful and go into my mind to see what successful is through pictures and thus then go and compare myself to others who fit this picture and see myself as less then this because I don’t have enough patience to be successful, I stop and breath, and re-align myself with myself through physical movement. I stop my participation in ideas about what is success through pictures of people in my mind, so then to stop the judging of myself by not accepting myself to compare myself to others. Here I commit to find my own pace of becoming successful in my living in what it is I am doing in each moment, and learn and become educated in the fields that is necessary to help me understand and become more expanded within what it is I am interested in. I realize and commit to push myself to walk each step it will take to get the task done that are necessary to be done to get greater understanding in what I am looking and studying in to thus then become successful by applying what I understand to my living and so I can help others do the same and help myself be more aware of what it is I am living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not making it and failing in life when I realize and see what is necessary to be done, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this fear in my mind because I am only looking within the point of my own self interest in not having this perfect picture of happiness in my mind, and thus judging all the points in my head that I find that are not aligning with this point as I am looking at things to be a certain way and expect it to go this way, but realize that this is not possible nor the way life is, so I stop and let go of this belief that happiness is a picture I have to live into, and start living within each and every moment that is here with no expectation of what is to come.

I commit myself to when and as I go into self interest in a point of desiring to have this point of happiness in my life, I stop and breath, and do not accept the fear that will come with this desire, by stopping both from directing me. I commit myself to live in breath, live in what it is I am doing each and every day, and commit myself to walk step by step into what is best for all within what I can do to bring this about, it’s not about the success of me in this life, but of all life and what I can do to help bring this about. I commit to let go of this desire to be happy in my world, and push myself to expand myself and grow in what it is I am living so I don’t allow any point of resistance or fear to hold me back realizing I am here in the physical and thus I use common sense to walk the process to my success as life in oneness and equality with all other life.

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Day 183 - Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Not Making It - Part 3.1

This fear is one of the strongest fears or more intense fears that comes up within me, this being the fear of not making it, within this, it can be seen as a fear of failing and not getting to enjoy life. Not that life is actually really enjoyable as there is so much suffering and hell being faced by so many currently, but still within this there is this inherint fear of not surviving. I feel this fear most with money and bills, I am currently in a transition period were my money situation and my security in the future is not certain or known, meaning I don’t have something definitive to show me where I am going to be and that I will absolutely be able to pay for everything. I really fear being not able to have money and thus this fear of not making it in life, so this showing the enslaved power money has over life as we have chose greed over giving all what is best in equality.

I have to face this fear as all do and realize that this fear is not me, is not real life, we don’t have to exist in fear, it is our choice and thus our creation that we have created such a way of life. This due to the ability of some having enough and others not having enough, and thus creating a platform of fear because the support is not a guarantee for all to have life, some will automatically suffer, and thus fear will ensue. We don't also recognize that those that have enough, will still be in great fear as they fear that they will lose this enough, and end up where they see there fellow human beings are at with nothing and in fear of death. Inherently we all realize that all need to be supported with the necessary conditions to sustain a decent life, but we allow self interest to direct our way of living and thus allow some to go without, creating a world of fear rather then a world of peace where all life is supported equally. We have thus been the creators of our own destiny as we live throughout the ages in this world, it's now time to take responsibility for myself as this fear, face it through writing and my living, and stop it from direct me and so I can come to common sense solutions in full awareness of myself as all life, and be a part of a solution that will support all life.

Within my own process, I am allowing this fear to haunt me into not being able to move myself and becoming in a state of helplessness, where I am going into blame towards everyone else around me not looking at the creator of this fear in my life, which of course is me. I find I tend to immediately go into a panic and always fear the worst is going to happen, and go into my mind and really make myself fear with thoughts of what could happen. This obviously is creating the intensity and anxiety within me, when if I was here and clear, I would be stable as I am creating it. I find usually the point is blown out of proportion and taken out of context, which when I let the mind direct me this will be the result, as the mind works on energy and the fear and my participation in it is generating energy for the mind. Also, I find a big point that I participate in and that increases the intensity of the fear is allowing myself to go into future projection as well as delve in the past happenings and allowing points to re occur and be recreated in my mind, creating illusions and living as if these are real.

Its important to always stay focused in my process that these points are not real, the fear, the energy, the thoughts and emotions, and that I am making them up. And so, the best way to stay stable and in reality is to stop the mind as the thoughts as fears, pictures, projections, and stay in the physical - stay in breath, and don’t allow the mind to wonder. It’s controlling the mind as self and directing it into reality, this takes self discipline and self will and will solve or thus enhance this issue with fear of not making it in my world, I always decide.


For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki